My writing style changed from "I tried" to "I fucked up". I'm sorry.
Okay, so again, I'm not good with writing this type of scene so please lower down your expectations. It took me a while to finish this, had a hard time finding motivation and shits like that, but that doesn't mean it's well written or something. I'm really sorry if you had to wait for more than 3 months for this shit. I just had some difficulties with real life for some time now. But anyway, here it is~! Please don't kill me after reading this, okay
Warning: cliché lines, grammatical errors and ineffective feels that can cause you frustration. Ugh.
Chapter 30:
~~~
Last request: Please don't get bored with this. Please. Thanks.
[3rd Person's POV]
"You sure you're not coming with us, Tomoko-san?" a fellow classmate asked as the said person nodded his head. They were heading towards the field where the bonfire would take place when Cloud suddenly told them to go without him.
"I need to do something important," he reasoned with a convincing smile, assuring the other that he'll be fine alone.
"If you say so, but if you change your mind, we'll be somewhere near the stage," one of the guys told him, waving as they resumed their walk. Cloud returned the wave, standing there for a moment as he watched his previous company vanish among the crowd.
Smile slowly fading as his hand lowered back to his side, Cloud displayed a straight yet determined look. Heading towards the other direction, he silently hoped to find her before he misses his chance.
~~~
On the other hand, as the bonfire event went on, the drums were being hit at every number counted down to intensify the atmosphere. At the final count, a certain ginger haired girl together will her classmates cheered along with the crowd as one of the council officers set the stacked wood at the center of the field on fire.
Then a sound of a microphone being tapped caught everybody's attention. "Minna-san!" the vice-president started, "It's Love Confession Time!" he beamed, leaving the stage to give way for some people from the music club who started to perform.
People once again cheered as some already making their way towards their crushes in hopes of getting chances with them. "Everybody seems to be having so much fun," Nika commented out of the blue as she observed her surroundings.
"You're right. Hmm. I wonder where Tomoko-kun is. Somebody must be confessing to him right now," the brunette beside Nika mumbled, finger tapping her chin in wonder.
"Probably, he's very popular. Though the real question is, if someone is confident enough to confess to the Akashi-sama this year?" the girl on Nika's right questioned.
"Come on! Everyone knows the emperor is in a relationship with someone now," the brunette straightforwardly answered. Both of them then gazed at the ginger haired girl between them, making the said female blush.
"Stop it, you guys," Nika smiled as she rolled her eyes, making her companions laugh. Joining them, she let out a short giggle, until her attention was caught by a female in a kimono, slightly jogging not so far away.
Attention complete diverted to the girl, she looked intensively to catch a glimpse of who it was. 'Aihana-chan?' her body tensed all of a sudden as she identified her best friend among the crowd. 'Where..?'
Her thoughts were abruptly distracted when she heard her name, "Motoharu-chan, is something wrong?" her friends called out, wondering why she all of a sudden stopped and stared at the crowd. Hesitating for a moment, Nika shook her head at them.
"Sorry, nothing's wrong. I just... Can I excuse myself for a moment?"
~~~
Nika wasn't sure why but her instincts told her to follow Aihana the moment she saw her running around. What confused her more was the fact that she obeyed it and was now trying to hide as she trailed behind her best friend. It wasn't like she was planning something bad. No, why would she? She was simply curious where her best friend was going. There's nothing wrong with that, right?
'But why am I feeling unease?' Nika shook her head from her thoughts, resumed to walking when she saw Aihana started to move again, keeping a good distance between them. She shadowed behind as Aihana went at the back of the first gym, to a garden connection secluded from others. Nika stayed hidden behind one of the big trees at the opening part of the said garden, gazing at her best friend from a distance.
That was when she noticed another figure walking towards Aihana.
She was too far away to hear what they were saying, but she was near enough to recognize who the person was. Her breath hitched as her eyes slightly widen. Hand slowly raised to cover her lips, her heart sank at the sight.
~~~
[Aihana's POV]
My heart skipped a beat as I felt another being standing a few meters behind me.
"Aihana"
My name effortlessly rolling off the person's tongue as he called me out. Turning to face the person, my heart started beating faster than the moment ago.
"Akashi-kun," I shortly greeted, he was also still in his kimono. Seeing him now, I felt my confidence and all vanished. He was here, just like how I imagined it, standing in front of me. I opened my lips once again, yet no words were produced as my mind went blank.
I stood frozen as Akashi walked calmly towards me, decreasing the distance between us. Holding out his fist, he slowly opened his hand to reveal a familiar looking bracelet. "This is yours, isn't it?" he clarified.
My eyes widen a bit as the red chipped crystal bracelet was presented in front of me. "I thought I lost that. How—?" my words trailed off. How did you find it? was what I wanted to ask, but before I can finish my question, Akashi swiftly took my hand.
A tint of pink painted my cheeks at his act, leaving me speechless. "I found it by the roadside after the parade event," he simply explained with his usual cold tone. As though it was made out of glass, Akashi delicately wrapped the bracelet around my wrist. I watched as his fingers gently danced over my skin, his eyes focus on the bracelet.
"Thank you," I mumbled, displaying a small smile before looking up to see his face. That was when I found myself staring into his dual-colored eyes. I've always loved to do that ever since back then, his ruby hues have always fascinated me, and now this heterochromatic ones. It was one of the few things that can show his true emotions behind his usual intimidating self.
His sight then shifted from the bracelet to my black orbs, returning my gaze. His emotionless mask seemed to fall off as a gentle expression invaded his facial features. He was staring back at me, his gaze focused only on me.
It was for a moment, a moment of temporary happiness before his let out a sigh, closing his eyes in the process. Removing his grip from me, he retreated his hand back to his side, breaking the only skin contact we had. "I only wanted to return this. I'll be taking my leave," he stated in monotone.
I wasn't surprised by the sudden coldness but it didn't fail to make my hopes drop. He turned and was about to head out, talking his step forward with his back facing me. At that moment, my body seemed to move on its own. Grabbing what I can reach, "Wait," I whispered as I was able to hold lightly onto the back of his kimono, making him stop his tracks.
"What?" Akashi questioned in a low voice, not making any attempts to face me. He didn't make it obvious but we both knew he was well aware that something like this would happen sooner or later. He is Akashi Seijuro after all.
Eyes glued on the ground, "I need to tell you something," I replied with the same low voice, as if letting my voice fading along my the wind that night. When I received no arguments, I took it as the cue to tell the feeling I kept inside.
Music from the field continued to play, reaching me as I prepared myself for my next words. My throat felt dry as I let out a shaky breath. This was my chance; whatever the outcome might be, I would accept it. Raising my head, I displayed a smile even when I knew he couldn't see as the words escaped my lips.
"I'm in love you, Akashi-kun. I know I'm a mess but I'm still in love with you."
My heart was pounding so hard that I had to place a hand over my chest to make sure it doesn't jump out. My knees were shaking, and for some reason, tears were starting to pool from my eyes, funny because I didn't know why. Blinking a few times to prevent them from falling, I resumed.
"And I'm completely torn. I don't know what you're trying to do to me. You ignore me at times yet afterwards; you start acting as if everything's fine between us. You get my hopes up and lead me on, only to disregard it as if it's nothing. And the cycle goes on. You are the most confusing thing in my life and the weird part about it is that I'm still holding on.
But everybody has their limits. So here I am, risking my chances because I don't know what to do anymore. I'm stuck whether to move on or fight for you. So I need you to tell me, Akashi-kun..." I bit the inside of my lips as my voice seemed to crack.
"Tell me... do you still feel the same?" At the last question, I let my voice trailed off. My head hung low as my grip on his kimono tightened. To be true, all I wanted was for him to tell me something, anything that I can base my decision on. I didn't intended to ask that question, yet the words slipped out of my lips before I can prevent myself.
There was a pause, as if everything around us suddenly stopped moving. Only silence was present, and that silence that transpired the two of us slowly became toxic as seconds passed. It was suffocating, making knots in my stomach at each sickening moment. The following words that would leave his lips, given the current state of our relationship, could only either make me or break me.
And it seemed to fall back to the latter one...
Akashi didn't move, nor did he attempt to face me, he simply took a deep breath before releasing it with a sigh along with the answers I asked for. "Your declaration of love amuses me. Though, you are well aware that I have a girlfriend, aren't you?" words that came out were sharp and firm, cold and almost deadpan.
I didn't want to cry but before I knew it, a drop of tear rolled down my cheek as his words sink in into the deepest part of me. It was followed by another drop, and another, until the tears seemed to fall without much effort anymore. I couldn't help but let out a soft laugh as it cut deep inside of me, to the point that I can almost feel it physically.
"Of course," I was able to utter weakly. His words burned into the back of my head. "Of course I know, everyone in the campus knows that". My heart clenched painfully as I stood there, "It wasn't like I wasn't expecting for this rejection anyway. It's just..." I felt a lump forming on my throat as I speak, making it hard for me to speak.
My next words came out broken, "There was still a small part of me that hoped there might be a chance, I guess hope really isn't enough," I tilted my head up to desperately avoid the tears to continue falling, but obviously, I failed.
It took me a few second to regain my composure before I was able to speak again, eyes glancing at my hand that was gripping his kimono. He was so near, just within my reach, but he was also so far way in every other aspect. How tragic.
"There are so many things I wish I could tell you, so many things I wish I could fix. But this is it then, I have to accept that whatever I do, I've lost you," I stated as my grip on the back his kimono slowly loosened until I wasn't holding into it anymore. And like any broken hearted person, "I wish you happiness, Akashi-kun," I smiled even when it ached to.
Turning my back to him, the water drops didn't stop but I knew it wasn't raining. I started walking away, as if doing so would crease the pain inside my chest.
I wonder what heartbreak sounds like. Is it like a crack? A crash? Or maybe glass shattering? Who knows, right? But one thing is certain when it comes to heartbreaks, it kills you inside.
~~~
I continued to let the tears stain my cheeks, not having any motivation to wipe them away as I exited on the other side of the garden. I felt tired, as if energy slipped out of me after what happened. But aside from that, I also felt like something was broken deep inside me. That I was into pieces but was too exhausted to pick and glue myself back up.
I was too lost into my emotions that I didn't notice the male figure I passed by until a hand held my arm into a gentle grip. Startled by it, I looked back at the person who stopped me and was greeted by a blue eyed guy whose gaze was full of concern. His hand hesitantly touched my cheek as he lightly wiped a trail of tear.
"You're crying again," he mumbled under his breath.
Without a much of a word, I let my head low and stared at the ground. That was until I felt myself being pulled by the person into his arms. I tried to push him to let go of me, but he didn't even budge. Instead, he spoke, "I won't let go until you stop crying, remember?" he quoted a line he once told me.
At that, I lost it. A sob escaped my lips along with the tears that seemed to have no end. Here I was again, letting myself break down in front of him. I held into him, wrapping my arms as I bury my face into his chest. No words of comfort were spoken, only gestures that can make you feel secure and safe.
~~~
[Time Skip: Estimate half an hour after]
"Why are you always there whenever I'm at my breaking point," I questioned calmly, letting my gaze wander up to the starless night sky. "Huh, Cloud-san?" I went on. Once I'd calmed down from my outburst earlier, thanks to Cloud, he deliberately pulled me with him as he led the both of us up at one the school buildings' rooftop.
Said person shrugged, "I have no idea," he stated for a moment before giving a guess, "Fate, maybe?" he grinned, trying to ease a certain atmosphere that been around us. I let out a short chuckle, though it was obvious that it didn't quite reach my eyes as I looked far ahead into the distance.
Comfortable silence settled around us, except from the sound of people and the music being played from the field of course. But that was until Cloud muttered something under his breath. "I've been looking for you, you know?" I heard him murmur in a low voice, "But I guess I was somehow late and he got you first."
I wanted to ask what he meant by that but before I could, "Aren't you wondering why I brought you here?" Cloud decided to changethe topic. Thinking that it wasn't really important since he easily dismissed it,I let the former topic hang and drop.
Leaning on the railings, "I am, but you don't seem to spill the reason out," I retorted, tilting my head slightly to the side as I rolled my eyes to him. "I was waiting," he explained, scratching the back of his neck before clearing his throat, "Well, it's about time so..." Cloud stretched his hand at the night sky and as if on cue, fireworks started shooting from a distance. My lips parted open as my eyes widen in surprise. The starless sky was filled with dancing colors right after every booming sound.
It was beautiful.
I was about to ask if he did all this but before I can, he beat me through it. "Don't get it wrong, I didn't set that up," Cloud chuckled, grinning sheepishly at the fireworks display, he resumed explaining, "I kinda glimpsed through the schedule you have and saw about this surprise. Took note of it and brought you here just in time to see it in the most perfect view."
Not removing my gaze from the colorful night sky, "You're such a sneaky rascal," I commented, but chuckling nonetheless to show that I was fine with everything.
I felt Cloud gaze on me with a pleased expression marking his face, "See, you're smiling now," he pointed out, "You should really smile often," he advised before looking up at the sky.
Now that he mentioned it, there was a small smile that remained plastered on my lips. "Hm. I guess you're right. But thank you, I did somehow forgot about this part of the schedule," I admitted. The fireworks continued to shoot through the sky, and as far as I could remember, it was bound to last for at least 15 minutes. It was that long but nevertheless, it was undeniably fantastic.
We watched in silence for a few moments, until Cloud call out and asked, "Aihana-san, can I tell you something?" his fingers tightly gripped the railings nervously. He was tensed, and that was evident.
"What is it?" I was so drowned in the moment that I didn't expect the next words that came out of his lips.
"Would you mind if I tell you that I've fallen in love with you, Aihana-san?"
I quickly turned to look at him with widen eyes, to see that he was just leaning his back against the rooftop's railing nonchalantly. A gentle smile was on his face along with an unreadable expression as his eyes were on me.
Is it wrong that the first person that came into my mind was the person who just rejected me a while ago?
Without thinking, "You're joking right?" I blurted out, in which I received a bitter laugh from Cloud.
He let his bangs cover his eyes, "Sorry to say but I'm not," the smile on his lips, however, didn't vanish. "I know this is sudden and I know it sounds stupid but somewhere in between being friends, I fell for you.
You're so perfect; beauty, brains, everything. And when I first saw you crying at the park, I've never seen anyone look so beautiful when they cry. You were showing weakness, and for some reason, it made you perfect. That was the time I knew I've completely fallen for you.
So here I am now, confessing it to you because I can't hold it in anymore," he announced, his hold on the railings tightening.
'He's in love with me,' I repeated in my mind as if the words don't make sense at all. I didn't know how to respond, only staring at him with bewildered eyes before turning away; knowing the weight my words could do to him.
If only it wasn't needed for me to response. But that would be unfair, for Cloud deserve to receive an answer even if it meant breaking the two of us apart. Taking a deep breath, "I... I'm sorry," I whispered my reply, biting the inside of my lower lip.
I expected him to be mad at me, shout at me or leave me behind after my answer, but he didn't. "I knew you would say that," I heard him say. I looked up to see him lifting his head to gaze at me, a sad smile painted on his lips. "Ah~ rejection. Such a painful feeling it leaves behind," he continued in a mellow tone, puffing out a deep sigh as he let go of the railings and push himself off.
"But I understand your reason," his eyes were glinting brightly as if tears were filling it, "You're in love with someone else after all," he concluded, and I didn't argue. I didn't answer for we both know what he was hinting at. Instead, I did what I didn't expect me to do myself.
It was the urge that I had the pushed me to pull Cloud into a hug, wrapping my arm on his neck as I force him to lower himself to my height level. "I'm really sorry," I mumbled, my eyes glue on the night sky as fireworks painted the sky with colors.
"You're a great person and you are really special to me, but, you deserve someone much better. Someone who can actually return your love, Cloud-san. And that someone isn't me, so I'm sorry. " I mumbled, feeling his tensed body come to a relax.
I heard a short laugh from him before feeling his hands on my back. "Really, Aihana-san, how am I supposed to hate you after rejecting me if you're going to act like this?" he stated in a funny manner.
"That's your problem then," I joked in return, before burying my face on the crook of his neck. We stayed like that for a moment in comforting silence for we both knew that after this, things wouldn't be the same again. As the fireworks come to an end, Cloud mumbled a small 'thank you' to me. But before pulling himself off, he whispered something into my ear before grinning happily.
"And you deserve happiness of your own, Aihana-san."
~~~
End of Chapter 30
(1) Okay, so I know some of you will question why I did this or that in this update, but please understand that it's how I planned it. Things will be explained on Akashi's POV or a 3rd person POV about Akashi in the future chapters.
(2) Also I just really wanna tell this: I know I haven't posted any updates in more or less 3months before this, but please don't leave a comment saying only "please update" or something along the lines. I don't hate 'update soon' comments but come on, comment about something in the story. Like how my writing skills are improving/declining, how the flow is, character changes, scenes you enjoyed and things like that which I can use to see how this story progresses from the reader's point of view. Please? Thank you. :))