July 04
Cole
3:19p
"So, your nigga's don't know who I am?" Jemaika asked Cole.
"Well, they... no. But, it's not because of your or nothing, I just haven't really been cool with them for a while."
"Oh, what happened?"
"A lot of passive shit. Ever since around March, everybody just been a little distant.We used to be mad close, we really are brothers for real, I guess we just need a lil break from each other from time to time."
"Awe."
"What?"
"You should see your face when you talk about them."
"They just, really all I got. I ain't tell you I grew up in foster care. So, my people really mean everything to me."
"I can tell." Her eyes were gleaming and I could tell she wanted to know more, but I don't really want to talk about it.
"You ready to go in?" I started grabbing my wallet and keys.
"Can we just chill out here for a few more minutes? You never opened up to me before. I don't want to rush the moment away." She put her hand on my leg and looked up at me with a smile. She's soft as fuck when she wants to be.
"Who's house is this? It's beautiful. I've never been over here before. I thought it was all abandoned and shit over here. My daddy used to tell me about the riots that happened down the street from here in the sixties. He said this area never recovered."
"Ohh yeah. That was over near Rosa Parks and Clairmont, that area do still look like it did then. But people do still live over here. I used to live on La Salle when I was in foster care. This is a lil district set apart from everything else. But this is Oz house. Cobe step-dad."
"Oh, so y'all lived near eachother. That's how yal met?"
"Nah, me and Dame met Cobe in middle school at UPrep. But, I met Dame when I was eight or nine. He looked out for me, we was in the same house for a couple years."
"Yal got separated?"
"No, well sort of. I.. I got adopted." I could tell by how she was looking at me like she just saw a kid get spanked that she was seeing straight through me. I can't hide how shitty I still feel that I left Dame to all that shit that was happening at that house. He never really told me anything that was happening, but sometimes when he'd come over, he'd be a lot quieter or wouldn't take his shirt off at the pool... It was always little things that no one else would notice, but since I knew what he was going through, I did. How could I leave him there after he looked out for me like a brother?
"You felt guilty or something?"
"I did.. I still do. Well I .." I cleared my throat thinking of how I could not continue without her feeling like I'm closing her off again. I mean I am, sort of, but-
"We can go in now... if you want."
"Yeah. Lemme just.." I rubbed my face and took a few deep breaths trying to wisk away any weird thoughts and feelings I had about Dame or Cobe before going in. I got out of the car walking slowly around to the passenger side buying more time to clear my head.
Oz is throwing a cookout at his house. He invited all of us and everyone is going to be here except Cecil, as usual, but at least this time we know where he is.
As soon as I opened the passenger door, Kofi, Cobe's little cousin came jogging across the street. "Yo Cole!" He yelled when he got a bit closer. " Yo man, I been waiting for you to show up. Kwabena told me you was coming."
K O F I Haygood, 19
portrayed by Jaden
"Yeah, well I'm here now Lil nigga. What's up wichu? How you been?"
"I just been chillin' man. Summer ain't really poppin' off like it used to man."
"I feel you, bruh. Been kinda slow for me too."
"Tuh, the hell you mean, super star?"
"C'mon man, chill, chill. I'm saying, aside from all that."
"Anyway, I was atcha show in NYC. I ain't have backstage passes or nun like that tho, so I couldn't see you. But you killed the fuck out that show Cole."
"Damn, thanks man. If I knew you was there, we coulda went out or sumn after."
"I was with my crew, so y'know."
"Oh aight. Thanks for the support tho Kof. You been riding with me since the beginning."
"It's whatever man, you family.. this yo girl?"
"This here ain't a girl baby boy, this a grown ass woman. And yeah she mine."
"Oh I'm yours now, nigga? 'Bout time. Shit."
"This my lil cousin, Kofi. Kofi, this my baby, Jemaika."
"Nice to meet you! I seen you when you performed in New York last year. I'm a big fan."
"No you ain't! Quit playing with me Kofi!"
"I swear, listen... three missed FaceTimes on yo laptop said Imma rob youuu and open up a shop hahahaaahaa.." A fucking show off, this nigga. He really do got talent though. I think music runs real heavy in Oz's Family cuz everyone of them niggas can either sing or play an instrument. But most of them do it at church.
"Not that you did the haha part too." "Okay, I believe you Kofi. I just wanted to see if you would prove it. You cool."
"So, yal Just gone stand out here all day?"
"Damn, watchu rushing for?"
"Cobe daddy here. And he brought the broad he left Auntie for. May she Rest In Peace." He kissed his two fingers and held them up looking as if he could see her right there in the clouds.
"Where Cobe at?"
"He inna room."
I asked Kof to take Jemaika to get something to eat after he told me where Cobe was. I speed walked to his old bedroom and closed the door behind me. I locked it and leaned up against the wall beside the bathroom door.
"Cobe, man.Get out here! It's Cole." He ain't respond but I could hear him coughing a lil bit. "Nigga, I ain't playin. You got my girl waiting outside. The fuck you doing in there?."
"I'm bout to leave, man. You coming?" He said from the other side of the bathroom door.
"Yeah, Whatever you want, man."
"Whatever I want?"
"Yes. Just come out."
He walked out of the bathroom with a giant cloud of smoke flowing out behind him.
"I know you ain't smoking in Oz house, nigga."
"Shit, I don't live here no more. I ain't gotta follow his rules." He spat, still walking toward me until stopped in front of me. I would've rolled my eyes at his response had I not been so distracted by how close he was. He eyed me down inching closer until our lips were centimeters apart. I inhaled taking in the scent of weed coming off of his tongue. Our eyes were locked on each other's and within seconds, Cobe's lips were touching mine.
Every time I get close to this nigga, I just wanna take his clothes off and fuck the shit out him. I'm not gone lie, if I wasn't here with my girl, I'd let this nigga take me right here, right now. He smell good as fuck and he got his hand resting on my ass now making me stiff up a little bit.
I'm barely thinking clearly, But I know I can't risk it. It took everything in me to turn my head disconnecting our lips. He tried bringing my face back up to his but I barely resisted softly saying, "Yo... stop." His hand was still resting on the side of my ass, but I moved it and forced myself out of his embrace. Fuuuuck. He smirked, looking me up and down.
"I thought you said I could have whatever I want?"
I chewed my bottom lip resisting the urge to give him what he wants because I just made my relationship official literally five minutes ago. If imma make it work with Jemaika, me and Cobe gotta be 'just friends' again. This shit gone be hard. I looked at the floor, playing with my hair while Cobe walked over to the bed and sat down.
"I just came to check on you 'cause Kof told me yo father showed up. What happened? That nigga say sumn to you?" I steadied myself back up against the wall trying to regain my composure.
"Yeah, and he had the nerve to bring that Sophia bitch over here. But that shit don't even matter." He replied nonchalantly.
"So how you feel, then?"
He shrugged his shoulders ,"Fuck him. That's all."
"Cobe." I looked into his eyes and immediately looked away. There was something there... something that only made me uncomfortable because I couldn't act on it. When I looked back, it was gone. There was no expression on his face, only the fadededness of the session he just had in the bathroom. I don't like that he's reverted back to his nonchalant unreadable stone walled exterior. It's lowkey a little bit awkward between us now. But, I don't want him to shut me out again. Before our fight, he was so open with me and he told me things he never would've let me know before. I wasn't going back to our old relationship, so I had to be upfront with him.
I walked over to him and sat down with my shoulder touching his shoulder. "I miss you Cobe. Just let me back in aight." He didn't respond, but I felt him loosen up letting me know that he was listening. "Lets go eat or just smoke or sumn. We can bring Dame too." He exhaled and rested his arm around my neck before declaring, "I just wanna get drunk off my ass."
"Shiiiii. We can do that too, bruh." We chuckled sitting on his old bed. Even though Cobe didn't live in here anymore, Oz still has it set up like someone does. The bed is made, there's photos on the walls, and there's towels and rags in the bathroom. I stood up walking towards the door while asking, " You want me to wait for you?"
"Nah, go ahead and get Dame and..."
"Jemaika."
"Yeah... and I'll meet y'all outside."
"Aight, but I'm only giving you five minutes."
"I'll be out."
"Aight."
"Wait.." I turned around to see what he wanted, "why did you change your mind?"
"What you mean?"
"The day after we kissed that first time. You was so angry.... then you were cool with it." I tucked my bottom lip in, chewing on it. "Why didn't you stop talking to me?"
"You know why." Cobe shook his head, no. "I... I was scared that if I rejected you, you'd leave me....... like everybody else." I made eye contact with him a forced myself to not play with my hair.
"So, you only kissed me back because you thought I'd be mad if you didn't?"
"No no no no no no no" I shook my head, "I kissed you back because it felt good... I'd never kissed a nigga before. It was different and I liked it." I smiled at myself, shocked that I'd admitted that out loud. "Things were different then though... I couldn't admit that to myself then. That's why I was so mad when you told me you were gay too. It was just weird for me."
"And now?"
"I have a girlfriend now.." I said, matter-of-factly so he'd know that this conversation doesn't change things.
"You know I'd never leave you, right?"
"This is the first time you've talked to me since February. You did leave me."
"I'm sorry."
"Don't forget we leaving in five." I ignored his weak ass apology, unconsciously bringing my hand up to my nape. I turned back around and unlocked the door leaving Cobe to his thoughts. I walked down the hall into the kitchen where Dame was talking to Oz about something serious. I didn't want to butt in but I'm nosey, so I sat at the breakfast nook and pulled my phone out so it wasn't so obvious that I was eavesdropping.
Oz was holding a beer in his hand standing across from Dame saying, "I can't tell you that. You just gotta follow your gut. If it don't feel right, don't go. I know you want it to work out, but you gotta have it in the back of your mind that it might not. That way, if it doesn't, it won't hurt so bad."
"I know. But it's like the good memories with him and the bad memories of after he left are playing tug of war in my head. I can't decide if I'm angry or if I miss him. I can't make up my mind so I keep going wherever he asks me to. But you know, I found out he has a son that's sixteen years old so I think he left us cuz he got married or sumn, but I just..,"
"Don't be scared son. Whatever you want to know, he at least owes you an answer. It can't be any worse than what you're thinking."
"He won't tell me if he found Lonnie and Ajané either."
"Lonnie?" I looked up from my Instagram feed when I heard the name.
"Cole, why you stay in somebody business?" Dame turned around with an irritated expression in his face.
"My bad... I just know somebody named Lonnie." I defended.
"It probably ain't the same person. It's a common name." Dame rebutted brushing me off while returning to his talk with Oz. I figured I should get out of his business so I got up and went to find Jemaika. She was sitting at the card table with a few of Oz's jazz band buddies in the back yard. They were laughing and by what I could hear from across the yard, it seemed like they were talking about music. I sent a text in the group chat that includes only me Dame and Cobe to meet at my car in five minutes, then I walked over to the table. She pulled me near by my hand and held it hers once I was close enough.
"This is my boyfriend, do y'all know him?" She joked giddily, I assume because it's the first time she's been able to say it. I smirked at the words.
"Oh yeah! Taught this cat errthang he know 'bout music. He's my protegé." Uncle Forrest gleamed with pride leaning into the cane he had resting between his legs.
"Aight nah, Forrest. Don't let Oz hear you say dat, you know he believe he made ya boy who he is, today." Uncle Danny cheesed, instigating the spar between Oz and Uncle Forrest. They always fighting about who gets the credit for my talent when in reality, I've learned from all three of them. Oz, Danny, and Forrest are cousins. They started playing Jazz together in their teen years and been traveling as a band since their twenties. I'm telling you, their whole family is talented. If Cobe was blood, he'd be on a stage somewhere too.
"Uncle Danny, you know all y'all raised me up. I couldna made it past hot cross buns if I was missing any one of ya. I owe y'all big for real."
"See this generation think when somebody do sumn nice for 'em, it's on credit. We did what we did out of the kindness of our hearts. All we want from you is to keep the music alive and make us proud. Besides, If we leave our knowledge tucked away up on a shelf, then who gone make the music when all us old niggas die?" Uncle Danny babbled on.
"Them mumble rappin' knuckleheads." Forrest chuckled, but I already know how he feels about them niggas that be rapping bout pussy and percs. But It's not like the old shit was any better, they just used code words for pussy and drugs.
"I likes the mumble rap. It just make ya groove." Uncle Danny started pooping his fingers while getting up from his chair dancing to whatever was playing on the speakers. I couldn't help but laugh at him, he still so smooth to be almost sixty years old.
"Old man, you'll dance to anythang." Forrest shook his head side eyeing him.
"And that's why my knees don't snap crackle and pop when I walk witcha fibromyalgia having, old ass." He shot back still dancing around the table.
"Hey man. I'll see y'all cats later. We gotta head out." I interrupted, unsuccessfully holding in my laughter at the old man's clap back, earning a look from Uncle Forrest.
"Before you go, grab me a beer and a burger off the grill. Put some ketchup and relish on that thang. And make sure it's on a Hawaiian bun not that tasteless white bread shit." Forrest directed.
"Sure thing Unc."
<><><><><><><><><><><><><>
We loaded up at the liquor store then stopped by Daily Catch to pick up some seafood. Jemaika decided to go home and Cobe, Dame and I headed to my crib. We rented a few movies and ate and talked and drank for a few hours.
8:47p
"Wait, what does Lonnie look like?" Dame asked going back to the comment I made earlier while eavesdropping on his conversation with Oz.
"Why you ask 'bout Lonnie? How you even know him?" In a defensive and confused tone, Cobe side eyed Dame.
"I don't, my brother's name is Lonnie and Cole said he knows a Lonnie."
"He's tall, dark skin, like darker than you. He's kinda built, maybe 24 25 how old is he Cobe?" I said answering Dame's question.
"Why?" Cobe is being hella defensive for someone who be tryna keep secrets. That's exactly how he been getting exposed, but that ain't my business...
I answered saying, "I think Lonnie is Dame long lost brother."
"He's not. He got parents. He ain't grow up in foster care." He argued.
"So what, he could've gotten adopted. I got adopted.." I rebutted.
"That's true, it could be him." Dame concurred.
"It's not." Cobe defended with half his mouth upturned. I know he and Lonnie don't talk no more, but he really can't be so mad that he can't help Dame...
"Why you acting all defensive? Can we at least call him? Ask him if he was adopted?" Dame asked, confusion and irritation evident on his face.
"Cole.." Cobe called for back up.
"I know... but it's for Dame." I get it, but it's not about him right now, it's about Dame reconnecting with his family.
"What? Yal got hella secrets in this bitch." Dame said nonchalantly in an attempt to coverup his saltiness. This nigga hate being out of the loop. He roughly shuffled the cards and passed them out so we could play tonk.
"We just don't talk to him no more." I started.
"Well, I don't. But for some reason, Cole still do." Cobe rebutted referring to my brief encounter with Lonnie at my apartment. I haven't said anything to Cobe about it, so I guess Lonnie told him or something.
"He came to my crib. What was I supposed to do? Ignore him?"
"Uh yeah. You don't even know that nigga. He's not your friend."
"Yet, Im the one who made sure he was good."
"Mm, yeah. Aight Cole." He mugged me.
"What? I'm supposed to be scared of you or some shit?"
"Nigga. Shut up."
"Yo, y'all niggas gon stop talking about secret shit in front of me. I'm back for good now, sooo.." Dame interrupted.
"Cobe?" I raised my eyebrows suggesting that he tell Dame what happened.
"It ain't a secret."
"Then tell him."
"My EX friend Lonnie and my other EX friend Mo fought on Oz porch and Lonnie got shot in the shoulder."
"And stabbed in the back, Mo got stabbed in the stomach.., and it wasn't a fight. My nigga Lonnie was jumped by Mo crew and ya boy here just watched the whole thing. If I ain't show up, Lonnie woulda bled to death on Oz front porch." I added.
"Damn, the fuck kinda shit y'all be into when I'm gone? When this happen?" Dame asked, shock showing on his raised brows and hand on his forehead.
"Right after you went home the day we got back from Fort Valley." Cobe informed the questioning man beside him.
"Cobe, I ain't know you had thug friends... you so wholesome." Dame chuckled to hide his confusion.
"Tuh." I chuckled letting Cobe and Dame know that I beg to differ.
"The fuck that mean Cole?" Cobe snarled.
"It mean Dame don't know shit about you." I laughed alittle but louder just to piss Cobe off more.
"A nigga be missing everything at College." Dame mumbled to himself.
"Hell yeah!" I agreed.
Dame sighed and went back to the original topic saying, "Sooo back to Lonnie. Can I meet him?"
"Fine, damn. But I don't wanna be around." Cobe let out an exaggerated sigh.
"Shit. That's cool." Dame replied.
"What's his number?" I asked.
"He not gone answer an unknown." Cobe informed.
"Lemme use yo shit then." Dame put out his hand waiting for Cobe to hand over his phone. The lighter skinned man reluctantly grabbed his phone off of the table and opened his contacts. He found Lonnie's number and tapped the FaceTime icon before handing it over to Dame.
FaceTime call
Lonnie - Ohh uhh {clearly surprised it wasn't Cobe on the phone and Dame's nervous ass didn't know how to say hi }
Cole - Nigga lemme see. { I snatched the phone from Dame }Yoooo Lonnie, it's me, Cole. My nigga Dame thinks he might know you from somewhere. Would you mind sliding thru?
Lonnie - Cobe gone be there? {hope in his voice }
Cole - Nah, he bouta dip in a minute
Lonnie - Oh..... {disappointment }
Cole - So, you busy or sumn?
Lonnie - Nah, I be there in about fifteen.
Jah - The fuck you going?
Lonnie - Shit, my brother coming too,
Cole - That's cool bruh.
We hung up and I threw the phone back to Cobe.
"So you kicking me out?" Cobe asked after realizing he had to go somewhere if Lonnie was coming over.
"I mean, you don't have to leave if you don't want to. Just go upstairs, I won't tell him you here."
"Aight."
About twenty minutes later, I opened the door and Lonnie and this big dude the same color walked in. Soon as big dude looked around the room, his eyebrows went up and he looked a little nervous.
"Lonnie, this is Dame." I introduced.
The two of them stared at eachother for a long time. Nobody in the room said a thing for at least two minutes. Then out of nowhere, Dame got up from his seat on the couch and walked over to Lonnie. He was reluctant at first, but when Lonnie put his arms out, Dame went in for the hug. I looked behind them at the other guy as and he looked like he could cry at any second. I went into the kitchen to get some more cups and plates cuz it seems like these niggas gone be here for a while.