June 28
Lonnie
11:23p
I bumped into this dark skin nigga coming off the elevator and I got chills. I didn't want to look back at him just in case he was already looking back at me, that would of have been awkward if we made eye contact. But, I know him from somewhere. I think.
I'm on my way to see somebody. Back in February, when I was in the hospital, an unfamiliar man was in my room. He came with my nigga and it seemed like they were mad close, so I had to find out who he was. I asked around and stalked Cobe's Instagram until I found him. I don't know what I want to say to him, but my daddy said he saved my life, I at least owe him a thank you.
When I got to the eleventh floor, I saw a man at the other end of the hall locking his door. I studied him while walking in his direction to make sure it was him before I approached. I waited until I was about eight feet away to say something.
"Wassup man." I stood in the middle of the hall balancing my weight on one side. I played with the cigarette I have tucked behind my ear. Cole walked toward me with his hand out for the infamous nigga handshake.
"Yo wassup. Lonnie right?" He wasn't smiling but he seemed to be in an alright mood. He looked me in my eye then I watched his eyes travel my face.
"Yeah... some people call me that." A nervous chuckle escaped me. I shifted my weight to the other leg.
"How you feeling man?"
"I healed up good." I said licking my bottom lip nodding, "I heard that you called my pops for me. You don't know how much I appreciate it. Prolly woulda been it for me if you wasn't there. Cobe... did he really..."I lowered my head and cleared my throat still keeping eye contact.
"Yeah... but, Cobe ain't good with that stuff. He got a lil ptsd so he shuts down sometimes. But, I'm glad I could've been there to help." He tucked his phone in his pants pocket and looked me over again this time the scar on the front of my shoulder caught his eye. He tried not to stare, but I'm wearing a wife beater so the shit is literally begging for attention.
"I'm on my way out man. You want to walk with me?" I nodded my head yes and followed behind him.
"You mentioned ptsd?" I asked once the elevator doors closed behind us. His hand immediately went to the back of his head. He was playing with his hair. I leaned up against the railing on the wall of the elevator crossing my feet and holding on to the rail behind me with both hands..
"Yeah... I did."
"What happened to him?"
" You know about his moms right?"
"Mhm. I know she passed away around the time we first met."
"She didn't "pass" dawg... she was murdered. It was a stray bullet that went straight through her skull. He was in the next room when it happened. He came in and saw her on the floor all bloody and shit... he won't ever forget that shit. That's why the nigga so closed off."
"Damn. I ain't know all that."
"You know, what you did to him was fucked up." We stopped walking once we got to the exit of the apartment building. We're standing up against the wall outside now.
"I didn't have a choice." I tried not to sound defensive. But I really didn't have a choice. He looked down and shook his head. I lit my cigarette and watched his movements.
He was staring up into the stars like something interesting was happening up there. I looked up too. "You see them three stars right there man?" I followed his finger to where he was pointing, "That's Orion's Belt. You ever heard of the story?" I shook my head no. "You gotta read it. There's a crazy ass bitch that brought her nigga back from the dead just so she could fuck him." He looked down and chuckled unamusingly before looking me in the eye saying, "The stupid shit a muh fucka will do for some dick right?" He was smiling smugly. I knew he was referring to me and Cobe. I don't know who he is to Cobe or how he knows we was fucking, but I don't appreciate him calling Cobe stupid. And I ain't just some dick to him. He's starting to piss me off. I held my cigarette with my lips and fixed my hat staring at him menacingly. I took the cig back in my hand.
"How you know him?" I part my lips to drag my cigarette. I removed it and licked my bottom lip letting the smoke seep out of my parted lips, while I stared into him. I clenched and unclenched my fist at my side. He watched my movements intently before responding. He slapped his hands together and began backing up.
"I'm running late Lonnie. It was good talking witchu tho." He started to walk away then turned back around like he forgot something. "Did you come here for something?"
"Nah... I just wanted to thank you." I turned my attention to a stray pit bull passing by on the other side of the street.
"It ain't a problem homie." He walked away from me and I watched him walk to his car and pull off. I stood outside of the building smoking my cigarette. It's almost midnight but the cool wind feels so good on my skin I decided to stand here a bit longer.
I took my time walking back to the car. Once I got in, Jah, my overprotective ass big brother, was staring at me waiting for me to tell him something. "Well nigga?"
"He ain't tell me shit. I don't know who the fuck he is to him. But I don't think he's friends with Mo or nothing."
"You can't do shit right nigga. That's exactly why you keep getting beat the fuck up." I rolled my eyes and pulled my phone out ignoring the shit I hear everyday.
"I'm talking to you Black. You listening?"
"Nigga, you say the same shit every fucking day. The fuck I need to keep hearing it for?"
"Until you get it into your thickass skull Lonnie. You don't pay attention to shit, that's gone get you killed for real one day. I'm not having that shit, nigga."
"So what, you gone protect me from death Jah?" I chuckled and took out another cigarette while Jah pulled out of the parking lot.
"Yes. I'mma be your shadow until you learn your damn lesson. I'm not losing another brother. You got me?"
"Man, whatever."
"Nah, 'whatever' my black ass Lonnie. Im deadass." We pulled into a gas station and he got out to fill the tank. I looked out the sunroof and noticed the same three stars were just above us. It made me think about how the whole situation with Mo and Cobe happened. I still can't believe I let my guard down like that. If it wasn't for Cobe.. oh shit, what if Cole was saying I'm who was doing stupid shit for dick.
Jah got back into the car , interrupting my thoughts, and watched me for a second before starting the car and pulling out of the gas station. I watched him, he's for real my best friend. I don't know what would've happened to me if it wasn't for him and my pops. They really saved my life.
"Yo Jah..." he looked over at me before returning his attention to the road. "You ever read about stars?"
"You mean like astrology? Zodiacs and shit?"
"No like, the clusters.. or whatever the fuck they called. Like the stories about them."
"Clusters.. like constellations? Not really, but my momma used to tell me stories. She's was into that Greek mythology shit."
"You remember any?"
"Well, the first to come to mind..." he looked up at the sky through the windshield locating a specific set of stars, "..that one right there. You see it? Them three stars?" He said pointing at the same three stars. I rolled my eyes and laughed.
"Someone told me that the girl in the story brought back her man from the dead so they could fuck again. Is that really the story?"
"What the fuck nigga?" He chuckled. "That's only a little piece of it. There's a whole beginning, middle, and end."
"Shit... I'm just telling you what I heard." We laughed for a bit before he caught his breath. He told me he'll tell me the story later. Jah is playing the OJays' backstabbers on the radio and singing along and it got me thinking.
Somebody's out to get your lady
A few of your buddies they sure look shady
Blades are long, clenched tight in their fist
Aimin' straight at your back
And I don't think they'll miss
What they do?
They smile in your face
All the time they want to take your place
The back stabbers (back stabbers)
"Do you think it was my fault, what happened?"
"I think you were dealt a trash hand, but you still learning."
"I been doing this shit for too long to still be learning, Jah."
"It's just not in your blood Black. You not a gangster, you come from the side of our family that's smart as shit, and creative. I know this isn't how you want to live, but until shit calm down around here, you stuck."
"You don't think I'm too old to be tryna do new shit?"
"Hell nawl. Look at how niggas be popping up out of nowhere.. singers, rappers, actors and shit."
"I ain't tryna do no shit like that though. I think I wanna go back to school. I don't know, get another degree or sumn. I'm thinking about maybe Family Law or Social Work or sumn. Give back to kids who are growing up in the system, you know?"
"See, that's what I'm saying, right? You don't belong out here in the streets nigga. Daddy means the best, be he really shoulda never let you start selling."
We hit the vacant lot across from the Sav-A-Lot and parked waiting for this nigga we supposed to be watching. He's new so we gotta make sure he doing what he supposed to be doing.
"Lonnie." Jah said in a hushed tone. He keeps moving his face closer and closer to the windshield as if it'll make him see better. He pointed to a man who was walking into Sav-A-Lot. I furrowed my brows and squinted my eyes until I could see a little bit better. "Is that?" I rubbed my temples trying to figure out if my eyes were deceiving me. "I think so. It's him." Jah replies. Oh shit, this can't be real. Jah speedily took his phone out calling pops.
Audio Call
Aurthur - wassup
Jah - Uncle Mav is back
Arthur - fuck. Lonnie witchu?
Jah - yeah he's right here
Arthur - give him the phone
Jah - you're on speaker
Arthur - Black, you aight?
Lonnie - Yeah, just.. yeah I'm straight.
Arthur - Imma see if I can get in contact with him. Until then, stay low aight. I don't want you seeing or talking to him until I do. Don't get no ideas in ya head Lonnie.
He tried calming me down over the phone, but I was already half way out of the car. I slammed the door and ran across the street with Jah yelling after me to get back in the car. I looked back, but I kept going forward. I walked through the automatic doors and found myself directly behind him at the cart section.
I grabbed his shoulder, forcing him to turn around. The wave of anger and confusion and fear that hit me in the chest all at once when we made eye contact caught me off guard. We stood in the moment, I'm not for sure he knows who I am. I put my hand behind my head rubbing my neck. Damn, what if he really doesn't know it's me?
He almost mimics my actions scratching the back of his head anxiously. Time slows down and I swear I can hear his heart beating to the same rhythm as mine. He draws his hand from the back of his head to rub his beard. He furrowed his brows ever so slightly. If I weren't watching him so intently, I wouldn't even have noticed it. He parted his lips seconds before speaking.
"Lonnie?" It was strange. I wanted to kill this nigga when I followed him into the store, but now... I'm just elated he remembers who I am. Suddenly, I feel like I may have reacted illogically by coming here, so I turned around and swiftly walked back to the car. Jah skrrted off taking me straight home.
The O'Jays - Backstabbers