tw // mentions of drug use, violence and death
☁🚀☁
Bright rays of sunshine directly hit the boy in his eyes just as he closed heavy glass doors. One of his arms was holding a plastic bag full of groceries while the other one was from behind dragging another person that wanted to tag along.
"Yutaaa, slow down. My legs aren't as long as yours!"
A small girl let out a whine while the boy happily laughed, slowing down a bit as requested. That was true, Itsumi was two times shorter than him, her hand drowning in her big brother's one.
They were leaving a hypermarket, heading towards their mom that was already waiting for them in the car. She had to drop by the cosmetic shop, sending the two siblings to go buy a few things as their fridge was after three days missing the food needed for today's big cooking.
The wind blew into their faces so Itsumi used her brother as a shield meanwhile Yuta was cursing at his long dark hair. It looked cool but it also often bothered his daily life. Still, he was thankful for the breeze cooling his skin that was burning under the sharp spring sunshine.
"Joohyeon complimented my dress today!" The small girl held her baby pink skirt that was cut right under her knees, skipping cutely in front of her brother and doing a small jump before spinning around and putting her arms up.
Yuta chuckled. "Yeah? Did you spill his drink as a way to say thank you again?"
"Nooo!" She covered her ears while whining. "That happened only once, stop reminding me!"
The boy laughed, catching up to the little girl that seemed to be experiencing her first love story. The same as him, Itsumi shared the social butterfly gene-she was popular among the kids in kindergarten, however, she still preferred talking to her two friends, partners in crime and of course the boy that made her mochi cheeks blush.
"Okay, okay, princess."
"Hey!"
Yuta would laugh again but stopped when his eyes caught a familiar figure. Their mom was impatiently leaning against the bright red sedan but once they crossed the street, he noticed that she was actually on a call with someone.
"I hope she won't go to work tonight," Itsumi whispered while pouting her lips and Yuta sighed. They were supposed to have a small garden party, only the closest family-or rather finally all four of them. Since their parents were busy with their business most of the time, the two siblings sometimes had to spend time alone or with their grandparents.
"Don't worry." Yuta held Itsumi's small hand while both of them made their way through the parking lot towards their mom.
Their mom hung up just as she saw her two cute children and immediately opened the trunk for Yuta to put the groceries inside. Itsumi already sat in the back, fasting the belt herself as she was taught a long time ago. As the daughter of parents working in high league, she had to learn to be more independent-although her brother was always there to pamper her highness.
"What was that about?" Yuta asked, closing the trunk. His mom, Mrs Nakamoto heaved rather a tired sigh before shaking her head. "Work. But I told them I'm not available till tomorrow so my secretary will be taking over for the night." She gave him one of the reassuring smiles and Yuta felt his shoulders relax. Despite being the big brother, he too liked to spend time with his parents-even though he wouldn't always show much affection as he used to in younger age.
"Did you have fun?"
"Yes, we had fun! We even stopped at the candy store." Itsumi giggled as if she just told a secret. It was, in fact, a secret Yuta made her keep a promise not to tell but what else could be expected from a kid in her age? Her brother rolled his eyes when his mom playfully smacked him.
"I hope you didn't forget anything, your dad is quite hungry and he'll sure eat a lot." They all laughed. It was fun teasing dad, especially since he wasn't even present.
However, the boy suddenly stopped in his tracks. "Huh?"
Just when Yuta finally fastened the seat belt and his mom handed her bag to Itsumi sitting in the back, just then the boy's eyes caught someone who he wouldn't expect to see in that part of the city. But soon it hit him; the dance studio wasn't that far away.
"Mom, I'll go home by bus, I have to go somewhere-"
"Now?" She looked at him in disbelief.
"Yes yes yes." Yuta opened his small bag to take the important things out, deciding to leave everything else in the car. He can pick it up later when he arrives home.
"Just don't be late and take care." His mom rolled her eyes at him while Itsumi whined. "Where are you goingggg?"
"Save something. Or rather someone."
✈✈✈
Yuta wasn't sure what he was doing nor if it was a good decision to make. But he ran across the parking lot and the road that luckily wasn't as busy as usual, thanking God for his great stamina. The person he wanted to talk to was still a quite few metres away from the dance studio and with the japanese Usain-Bolting to him, he soon caught up.
The boy was wearing headphones and staring at the ground in front of him, but once Yuta lightly put his hand on his shoulder, he jolted.
"Hey-"
"Hi." Yuta heavily breathed out, stepping a bit back while the boy put his headphones down.
They stared at each other until the boy stuttered out "L-listen, I have to go. Dance practice." He was about to put the headphones back on and turn around but Yuta stopped him. "You still have half an hour."
"How would you know-"
"Because I waited with you twice. I even thought of changing my timetable until you cut me off."
The boy nervously looked down, almost as if a regret flashed in his eyes. "I-Yuta, I'm sorry for being so harsh, you're a good person but this won't work."
"What exactly?"
Sicheng kept quiet so Yuta continued. "I just want to understand. Why? I really had fun with you, you are cool and funny. I know it looks bad for me because of Ten but I swear it's in the past."
"That's-that's not the problem. It doesn't even revolve around you. I just-"
"Can we talk? For real, let's sit down somewhere and talk, this whole situation got out of hand and I really want to fix it. If you don't want to do it now, okay, but eventually we have to." The japanese insisted.
"Yuta, again, it's not about Ten, you and your friends or us- this is my problem a-and I can't handle it other way than avoiding it."
"And I'm here to listen, as I promised. If it's bothering you, you should let it out eventually. I know I shouldn't step into your business like that but keeping it inside will only do more damage and I don't want you to hurt anymore. You don't deserve it."
Sicheng was at the loss of words, looking for the right thing to say but not finding anything. He sighed in defeat and decided to loosen his tongue.
"It's not because of Ten at all, although it kind of does something in the back of my mind." The two already started walking but instead of crossing the road, Yuta softly pulled him into a small park nearby. "I'm just scared." Once they sat down, the japanese fully turned to Sicheng.
"Of?"
"Love." Sicheng swallowed. "Falling in love with someone. Trusting them. I've been hurt before-not just here." He poked himself in the chest while he breathed out shakily. Yuta slowly proceeded what he was getting at.
"Who-what did she do?"
"He, it was him. I'm gay."
"Oh."
"Well, I-" He suddenly stood up in panic but Yuta was quick to pull him back down.
"No, it's okay, I'm on that side too. We all are, my friends too. Gays stick together you know." That made Sicheng chuckle lightly and he finally sat down, feeling less tense.
Yuta observed him for a while, how he closed his eyes, took a breath of fresh air and breathed it out. Sicheng then suddenly turned to him with determined look burning in his eyes like a flame. It was a sign of trust, something Yuta hasn't seen from the boy before.
"It's what fucked up everything."
Yuta wanted to ask What? What is it? but it seemed like Sicheng was about to tell him everything.
"It started three years ago. The three of us, me, Ten and Doyoung were close friends..."
The memory itself still hurt Sicheng deep in his heart to this day. They used to be inseparable, the crazy trio which was disliked by the entire teacher staffroom. But what did they expect from a bunch of childish teenagers when they unite their pubertal brains?
Sicheng has lived in Korea his whole life, the same went for Doyoung. Ten, however, showed up at the beginning of the first year of middle school, making friends quickly as if it was in his nature. Maybe after a month, they somehow ended up workings together on a physics project where they clicked almost instantly. Despite Ten annoying Doyoung every possible second and Sicheng being the shy one of the trio, their friendship sailed smoothly and it seemed like nothing could break it apart.
They made it together through the first two tough years of middle school when a new boy joined them.
"Jaehyun?"
Sicheng didn't even question where did Yuta have that name from and nodded.
"He was-perfect. I can't find another word to describe it, he was handsome, you know, fair skin, dimpled smile and warm brown eyes. He was also very kind and friendly towards basically the whole school but it was Ten who befriended him first and only later we found out that Doyoung has known him since childhood. Their parents were business partners, what a small world, isn't it?" Sicheng cautiously eyed the boy sitting next to him only to find him hanging on every word he said.
"I liked him, a lot. From the first second, I saw him. I-don't even know how it happened and we started dating."
Yuta swallowed a bulge in his throat. Clearly it wasn't something he expected.
"First few weeks were wonderful. He was so caring, so loving and affectionate but not too much. He knew when to give me space and when to cheer me up, a total boyfriend material, if you will. However, I noticed the building up tension between him and Doyoung. I never understood it, I still don't but I guess they argued about something. It got better for a while but then-then..."
Sicheng found it hard to let out the words. It was the untouched part of his memories, not even his therapist got that much detail as he was giving Yuta. The japanese was still listening to him, giving him space and time but when he noticed the uneasiness and the way Sicheng's hands started shaking, he put his arm around his shoulders.
"You don't have to continue."
"He was a drug addict." There, he said it.
It felt like a huge weight left his body and Sicheng could finally breathe. The words he said, the syllables now felt empty - it used to be a secret. A dark secret he was repeatedly told to keep shut about. A secret he feared so much that it took his sleep away. A secret about how he couldn't help a person that meant to him so much yet was his biggest living nightmare.
"That of course didn't have the best effect on him. He lost his shine, if he even had any to begin with because soon all his lies started unfolding. And he started being very aggressive about it, mainly towards me and Doyoung." He noticed Yuta's fists clenching.
"It was around new years eve when we first found out about it. Ten dragged us out to some party of someone I don't even remember the name of. Jaehyun got so high that he started causing problems but, luckily, we got him out before someone could call the police.
"He still talked to us but I could see he was either really embarrassed or perhaps even angry that we found out. He started being very cold around me and I wasn't sure if our relationship would last. It was slowly breaking my heart, as stupid as it sounds. I thought he'd quit doing it and for a moment I believed he did." He smiled but it didn't reach his eyes.
"I was so wrong. A month later at Ten's birthday party he took some drugs again-publicly, since before that he was taking them behind our backs. It went so wrong. He almost overdosed and Doyoung was the one to find him. Ten still doesn't know about it till this day since we tried to keep it away from him as best as we could. He had his own problems at home and he really didn't need to be dragged into another shit. So, yeah, only Doyoung and I know about that night and only I know just how much of a trauma it left Doyoung with."
After couple of silent seconds, Yuta risked a question. "So, is that what made him this way?"
Sicheng kept quiet. He was hesitating about where to go from that next. Should he just say it all? It was hard, really hard for him and each following letter that got out his throat hurt more and more.
Yuta held his hands, the warmth coming from them comforting Sicheng a little. To hell with everything, the older boy felt the need to just stop him, hold him in his arms and say that it's fine, that he has him now and nothing to worry about.
Sicheng licked his dry lips. "On valentine's day which was also Jaehyun's birthday, the four of us hang out and played spin bottle because why the fuck not." He was getting irritated by the memory as his voice was getting weaker and weaker.
"He brought cocaine or some shit, I don't really know, and together with Ten, they consumed it. I couldn't handle the sight of it so I tried to ignore them but Doyoung, being the caring friend he's always been tried to talk them out of it. They nearly argued if it wasn't for Ten stepping between them. I'm not sure if he realised that Doyoung tried to stop mainly Jaehyun because, despite the increasing amount of pettiness between the two, Doyoung cared about him a lot. In what way, I'm not sure. Everything seemed fine again at first."
At that point, Sicheng found it difficult to speak because he knew exactly what came next. He felt tears pricking his eyes, the sight of park shining in spring colours in front of him quickly blurring. A sob escaped his throat and in a second he could feel Yuta's arms embracing him completely, his nose buried in the crook of the boy's neck. His chest was in extreme pain he wasn't sure if he could bear anymore, his heart shattering like it was made out of glass. Today wasn't the day Sicheng planned on visiting his most painful memories and cry but there was no way back.
He continued talking while laying his head on Yuta's shoulder and silently crying. "Ten suddenly collapsed and-and I don't think I've ever seen Doyoung so mad. He already had a driving license so we persuaded Jaehyun to go to the hospital with us. I'm not sure how much you know but Jaehyun's family is pretty wealthy and powerful so a scandal like that would hurt not only his status but could ruin his parents' name as well. That sick fuck didn't care about Ten being literally unconscious, dragging us there with him as well instead. As we drove, he suddenly jerked the wheel and the car went off the road.
"We didn't die, it wasn't a serious car crash, but Jaehyun escaped and Doyoung ran after him. I stayed with Ten and called the ambulance."
The scene played vividly in front of his eyes. Ten looked like he was at the edge of death while lying in merciless February snow. Sicheng remembered being so shocked that he began to ramble anything just to not freak out, he talked to himself, his parents and even prayed to God. The time back then seemed to pass too slowly so when he finally could hear the sirens, it startled him. He didn't even realise that he was freezing and when the first people got to them, his muscles suddenly couldn't move an inch.
"So now the thing you're probably most curious about."
Yuta pulled away and made the boy face him to look straight into his eyes. He was so worried. "Sicheng, you don't have to continue."
"There isn't much anyway. I don't know what happened. Doyoung was found hours later near a lake that was there. He was in a coma for a long time and when he woke up, he couldn't talk. At first, the doctors thought it was because of brain damage but after talking to me and Ten they assumed it might be mixed with some kind of trauma."
It didn't seem like Sicheng had anything more to say so the japanese hugged him once more, the boy returning the hug immediately. The atmosphere was quiet, the dance practice and family dinner forgotten a long time ago. Yuta didn't care though. Sicheng needed him, he needed to feel the warmth of his body, the firm grip that held him together from collapsing, the safety and feeling of surety that Yuta was proving him by a single hug. He listened to him but mainly-he stayed.
Besides broken Ten, there were a few friends but Sicheng never felt the connection with them as much as with Yuta. In a span of only a half of a year, they got so close that it was scary. If the boy left him, it would break him for sure.
No, he wouldn't. You did and he still came back. Sicheng started sobbing again.
"I swear to god, when I find this Jaehyun dude, I'll make his life a living hell."
"That won't be needed."
"I don't mean to be violent, you know I don't support it. But this is-this is different. He hurt you. And only thinking of that..." Yuta's face showed nothing but pure hatred. Sicheng put his hands on his nape, lightly stroking his longer dark hair. The fact that Yuta was on his side was everything he needed.
"My parents maybe aren't as powerful as his but they do have a connection."
"Yuta..."
"No, for real. Or even if that's not the way, I'll do anything to protect you and to get back at that motherfucker."
A soft sigh left his lips, "They found only Doyoung."
"So he's on a run?"
Sicheng shook his head and looked down, a sigh leaving his lips.
"He's dead, Yuta."
~☕~
long a/n ahead oop
AAAAAAA this took me too fricking l o n g but FINALLY the truth is out :<
what are your thoughts?
I know some readers made theories (although due to my perfect update schedule I'm sure most of the people here have already forgotten the storyline um
👉🏻👈🏻)
anyway, from now on there should be more fluff as this story turned differently as I planned. of course it's nowhere near the end because, well, where's the twist huh? xd I even planned to make jaehyun alive and even taeyong showing up and making him the bad guy but the simpler the plot, the easier to follow and read the story 🤷🏻♂️
also, this book started in august of 2018 and YALL I CANT BELIEVE WE GOT NCT 2020 AFTER ALL. to be honest, I almost dropped the group after 2019 and the stress the situation gave me but I'm back and never felt better yay!!!
I hope you all are doing great and be safe even during these harsher times. don't take this pandemic lightly and please please take care of yourself! <3