I call him that night, hiding in my tiny New York bedroom from my mother. He picks up after only one ring, making my heart skip a beat.
'I was waiting', he says soft. 'Are you sure you talk to the right person?' I ask sarcastically which makes him laugh a little. 'What do you think of the book that I gave you?'
'I haven't had a chance to read it yet', I admit, hearing him sigh, trying to sound annoyed. 'Haven't your parents found out already?' He asks more serious than before.
'No and they won't', I assure him - and myself. 'Right, because a famous dancer being seen in a public school isn't going to get media attention', Jess answers sarcastic, making me feel a little nauseous.
'They are gonna find out', I whisper while laying me head in my hands as usual when I worried. 'It's going to be fine', Jess tries to assure me, but even I can hear the doubt in his voice.
'Don't look down like that', he adds and I sit straight in a second, not understanding if he is a sigh kick. 'How....'
'Turn around', he whispers. I look over at my window, seeing Jess behind it on the stairs, holding his phone in one hand. I smile at him and get a smile in return, he always shows up when I need him the most.
I open my window carefully, trying not to make any sound and sit down on my window seal, close to him. 'Hi'.
'Hi', I smile unsure. He looks at me with the usual twinkle in his eyes, his dark hair over his forehead, all messy. 'You are worried', he notices after observing me and I nod in agreement.
'What is the worst thing your parents can do if they find out you are lying?' Jess lays his hand on my leg, trying to support me I guess. It doesn't make it easier to answer.
'Obligate me to join the dance school again? Sending me to Paris for the third time?' I ask unsure as if he has the answer.
'I won't be at school anymore, I won't be here anymore', I add desperate. He looks serious, trying to understand the meaning of my words.
'I'm not sure what I would do if that happens', he whispers after a while. Making me feel butterflies in my stomach. 'You still have your friends to talk too', I remind him but he only lifts his shoulders, not quite pleased by that.
'I don't want to talk to anyone else, I only want to talk with you. No one has ever understood me the way you do', he explains. 'I don't want to lose this', I say, gesturing with my hands around us.
This room, a safe place from the harsh world, accompanied by Jess. It feel secure. More than I have ever felt. Jess takes my hand in his', looking me right in my eyes. A soft breeze blowing through the sky.
'I want to be with you, Madelaine', he says, holding my hands tighter. 'I can't imagine being with someone else'.
'I want to be with you', I assure him, feeling the tears behind my eyes. Never has a boy makes me feel this way... this safe. It seems only possible when he is around. We sit like that for a moment, holding our hands together in the cold evening.
'Maddy!' My mother yells from downstairs. Her way of telling me dinner is ready. Jess sighs a little, smiling up at me.
'I'll see you tomorrow at school', he says before we both stand up. 'I hope', I answer a little scared. After that Jess climbs through my window taking my head in both his hands. Searching for my gaze.
'You will', he assures me before kissing my forehead and disappears in the dark night. After that my door opens, me still staring at the open window.
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