- Vanessa valor -
- Tampa, Florida -
"if youn stop" roddy chuckled as he sat on the couch. "you on yo period still?" i groaned at his comment reminding that i was still on it.
"i just wanna do sum wit you" i whined walking to him.
"what's sum?" he licked over his bottom lip as his hands ran up and down my sides slowly.
"whatchu think" i asked leaning down putting my hands on either side of the couch to stop myself from falling onto roddy.
"you know i love you right?" i nodded. "which is why i'm not gon fuck you" he smiled up at me.
"man what the fuck" i smacked my teeth. "boys always so exited to fuck and youn want to" i shook my head walking back to the fridge.
"i done told you my reasons before" i felt his hands on my waist again as he pressed my body against his. "a relationship ain't all about sex, Vanessa" he mumbled in my ear. "Just like money ain't everything"
i snapped out of my thoughts and pushed him back lightly before pouring me some fruit punch we bought a few hours ago today.
"you serious right now?" i ignored him as i put it away and then walked down the foyer and into our room.
i wasn't all that mad.. i'm just petty 🥰 .
"Vanessa" roddy followed me. "look at me" i set the drink down on the end table before turning on the tv. "Vanessa look at me goddamnit!" i heard a loud bang making me jump as he raised his voice.
i'm guessing he slammed something.
"fuck" he cursed under his breath. "I'm so sorry baby i ain't mean to scare you" he said walking closer to me only to make me back up with my hands out. "you really think ima hurt you?"
"that's exactly what Lawrence said" he sighed.
"i'm sorry okay i.. you just stress me out when youn talk to me so i got mad" he grabbed my hands. "Ness no matter how mad i get.. i'll slam doors, shit on the table, yell, scream.. all the above baby but i put it on my mama's life i will never hit you or hurt you in anyway"
"i know you wouldn't.." i sighed wiping my eyes. "i just.. it's so unclear who i can trust"
"how long you known me?"
"almost a year now" i sniffled as he sat on the bed.
"how long we been datin?"
"for about 5 months" i covered my face as i felt tears forming in my eyes.
i have no idea why i'm crying..
sometimes it just happens..
"stop allat crying" he pulled my arms down. "i know you've been wantin to take our relationship to the next level but honestly Vanessa.." he sighed. "i don't think we're ready"
"why?"
"we're both so stressed! i wanna have our first time together to be something other then a stress reliever" he stood up. "okay?" he lifted my chin.
"you think we'll ever get there?"
"vanessa if i didn't think we weren't gonna get there then i would've never ate yo shit inna daily" i smacked my teeth hiding my face in his chest. "don't be embarrassed" he chuckled pulling my face up and kissing me slowly.
"you never let me do anything to you" i pointed out.
"because every time you want to, it's always after i do sum for you. i don't want you to feel like you owe me something when you don't" he shook his head. "i don't need sex to be happy, Vanessa. if you really love somebody, then you'll wait"
"i fucking hate when your right" i groaned.
"i'm always right" he smiled as he put his hands down and picked me up making me gasp because i swear i'm heavy as fuck.
"stoppp! i'm probably crushing you!" i whined as he sat me on the bed.
"shut yo light ass up, Vanessa you ain't heavy" he chuckled.
"roddy?" he furrowed his eyebrows. "i um.. i was thinking about something for awhile now.." i looked down at my fingers.
"just say it, ma" he lifted my chin. "be honest wit me"
"i wanna go to school" i sighed and closed my eyes scared of what he would say or do.
"you wanna go to college?" i nodded. "open them eyes" he chuckled.
"you don't hate me?"
"baby why in the world would i hate you for wanting to have a future" he sighed. "we gon have to find you a school but i'm fine with you going to school"
"roddy the tuition ranges from 9,000 to 34,000 baby" i sighed. "i'm not having you pay that"
"welp" roddy said as he reached into his back pocket. "heres about 10,000" he said handing me stacks of cash. "and this is maybe 15,000?" he furrowed his eyebrows handing me more. "and i got way more baby. i'm more then ight with spending money on you so you can go to school"
"i needa job" i sighed.
"stop trying to move so quick bae we gon figure it out but right now, we on vacation so let's forget about all that for now" i nodded as he sat on the bed. "whatchu wanna do?" he nudged my shoulder.
"besides me"
"shut up" i pushed his head. "what time is it?"
"only 5:32 pm"
i smiled and got up grabbing my phone quickly turning it on to find what i found the other day.
once i showed him the picture he chuckled.
"magic kingdom?" i nodded. "you never been?" i shook my head.
"we don't have to go i was just thinking.." i sighed.
"we'll go tomorrow" he grabbed my hands. "ight? it's fun. i'll invite some of my family down here" i nodded.
"this is gonna be so much fun oh my gosh!" i squealed jumping up and down.
"girl sit down" i laughed. "it's like raising my own daughter"
"have you ever thought about having kids?" i asked sitting on his lap honestly concerned. me personally.. i'm scared to have kids and always will be..
"yea" he smiled. "i want 2 or 3" my eyes widened.
"try one" he chuckled. "names?"
"for boys i'd pick micah or kendrick and for girls i'd pick avari or kamari. i have a lot of girl names so those are just two out the bunch" i giggled. "what about you?"
"i'm scared as fuck to have kids" i sighed. "but if i wasn't, i would want 2. one boy and one girl. seven and urell"
"urell?" i nodded. "i actually really like that fuckin name hold up" i giggled. "you said you scared to have kids?" i nodded.
"it hurts! and it will mess up my body"
"maybe but you'll still be beautiful" he kissed my cheek.
"stopp i'm not being a mommy anytime soon" i giggled.
"24 i'm making you a mommy" my eyes widened.
"you gon nut inside me?!" i got off of his lap.
"you know it" i gagged. "shut up our baby would be cute"
"i ain't say it wouldn't be cute but i'm just saying" he smacked his teeth.
"youn wanna have my baby?" he pouted.
"stop it. you have pretty eyes you can't be lookin at me like that" he chuckled. "i'm just scared roddy" i sighed.
"why? i'm gon be here the whole time" he pushed my hair behind my ear.
truth be told.. i had a secret that i never told roddy.
or anybody except for lawrence.
"roddy i was pregnant 2 years ago" his eyebrows furrowed. "i had a miscarriage at 5 months because of lawrence" i brought my hands up to my eyes before dabbing them dry so i wouldn't ruin my makeup.
"why ain't you tell me?" he asked rubbing my back as i stood between his legs.
"because i'm disappointed in myself. i lost my baby and it was all my fault" i didn't even notice the amount of tears in my eyes.
at this point they just keep coming.
roddy got up and wrapped his arms around me tightly as he rubbed my back soothing my cries.
"it's not you fault, Vanessa. what did he do?"
"h-he kicked me in the stomach multiple times and i used to slit my wrist"
"Fucking god" he cursed as he brought me into the bathroom. "up" he helped me onto the counter. "listen to me Vanessa" he put both hands on either side of me. "your strong as a bitch. you fought through that abusive and toxic ass relationship because you knew that you'd one day get out and be happy. you fought. you hear me Vanessa? you fucking fought. and ain't nobody gon ever mistreat you as long as i'm alive ight?"
my sobs started breaking through my chest as he spoke.
"let those cries out baby but just fucking now that you matter" he pointed in my face. "okay? you fucking matter and if anybody ever told you different then when you make it and you get through school you turn around and tell them, fuck you"
i honestly have no words for how much roddy has helped me.
he could've left me there that day.
he could've let me die.
but he didn't.
he saved me and he's continued saving me ever since.
it's been 11 months since i've met roddy and i think it's safe to say that i'm falling in love with him.
he's so caring and so fucking sweet it feels unreal.
"you hear me, Vanessa Evangeline Valor?"
( Middle name change for vanessa)
"i hear you baby"
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Vanessa was pregnant 🌚??
how y'all think roddy did with uplifting her ?
how y'all feel about Vanessa going to school?