Despite the incident, the last time Charles visited wherein within that day, Jude couldn't sleep, fearing Mari would realize how much of an asshole he is and leave.
Jude swore he had never let out such a long sigh of relief until he heard Mari knocking on his door that very evening. And in just one snap, there she goes again, with her usual optimism, as if nothing happened.
Jude wanted to apologize but like last time, he was too cowardly to even utter a word, and instead, just let out an embarrassed smile as Mari strolls towards his seat and serves him, filling the silence with her random tales.
Jude knew that he couldn't let this happen again. How he ought not to let his anger get the best of him considering how in the first place, he doesn't know how to apologize.
How Mari set aside her feelings, swallowed her pride, and pretended as if nothing happened completely baffled him.
No doubt, he is amazed at the sweet young woman, but he knows it's not healthy. How she ought to express her feelings too for he is not deserving of her treatment. Nonetheless, since Jude is a coward through and through, he said nothing on that matter.
When Charles visited Jude once more in the following week, Charles persuaded Jude to come with him back to London.
"Come now, Jude, think of all the balls and gals you'll see," uttered Charles, his arms crossed, walking back and forth around the room.
"Even before the accident, I despised social gatherings, what more considering my poor state?"
Jude, sitting in his usual chair, staring at the same old wall, shook his head, as if his decision was final, no use of convincing could ever alter it.
Yet, his dear charming young brother still nagged his dear blind older brother. Charles, who, Jude is sure, hasn't known what it felt like walking on his shoes, the way people stare at you, judge you, whether behind your back or not.
Even before the accident, with Jude's vision and all, that's how the society treated a hideous, not only in appearance but also in trait writer like him, what more a scared thirty-three-year-old blind man who, may we add, is unemployed and lives the hermit life.
He just can't, that's for certain. Jude cannot face society. Imagine the horror, the gasps, the endless gossips, and such he'll welcome as soon as he steps right into London.
All while the brothers are inside the room, quarreling, Mari happens to hear a word or two regarding the conversation, unintentionally, may we remind you.
Knowing how prominent and confidential the issue is, Mari went back downstairs, setting down the tea, sat in the drawing-room, and waited.
Mari was reheating the tea when she realized she still hadn't prepared lunch for Jude. What's worse, she hadn't brought him a bucket of water for washing since Charles arrived very early in the morning, even before his brother woke up.
Hurriedly, she fetches a bucket of water for Jude, knocking, "Master, the water's all ready," she said, carrying the bucket up to the adjacent room then heating it, all while heating it, she grabbed a fresh set of clothes for him.
"Thank you, Mari," Jude replied, nodding, rising from his seat.
With the same speed, she swiftly went downstairs to prepare his lunch. It was almost half an hour later when the meal's ready.
When she got back upstairs to Jude, he was already finished bathing, now sitting in his chair, and by the sound of the door creaking, the sound of her soft footfalls, he lifted his head and smiled in her direction.
Mari set the tray down before him, and with that, he ate. "Sorry for the delay, Master Jude," Mari apologized, still standing before him, watching him eat, his hair still wet and uncombed, his cravat tied in the wrong side which Mari chose not to comment, in fear of embarrassing him.
"Be a darling and don't stare much," replied Jude before bringing a spoon to his mouth, his neck all flushed, causing Mari to blush, biting her inner cheek.
"I-ah wasn't staring, Master," lied Mari. Truth is, she just can't seem to get this habit of hers off. Her father kept telling her on and on not to stare too much for people even blind ones like him find it discomforting.
Jude sardonically arched his brow, wiped his mouth before exclaiming, "Oh, yes, you are. Why else would you still be standing here? To watch the food slowly disappear from the plate?" followed by a chuckle.
There was a slight pause before Mari let out a forced chuckle, no clue what to reply yet her emerald eyes still stuck on Jude who kept eating as if he couldn't feel her staring at him.
And when her gaze swept at his wet uncombed hair, due to desperation, Mari swiftly fetched a clean towel from the drawers and without any second thoughts, without asking Jude first, she dried his hair, causing Jude to jump from his seat in surprise.
"I hope you don't mind, Master, your shoulders damp from your hair, we wouldn't want you eating with that state, do we?" barked Mari, grinning all while she enveloped his hair with the towel, twisting it around the strands to dry it.
All Jude could reply is a shrug, though truth be told, he found her drying his hair pleasing but he pretended as if her behind him, getting all fussy at his damp hair all ordinary when in fact, Jude secretly begged his hair not to get dry, Jude not focusing on his meal, as a result.
"Your hair, Master, is really long and so's your beard," commented Mari. Jude suppressed his shiver when he felt his fingertips faintly touched his neck.
"I took pride in them, madam," replied Jude though who are we kidding? This state of his is the result of him not getting out of this godforsaken room for almost a year now. Him, not knowing how to shave now that he's blind. Plus, with all this hair, Jude could hide, hide his scarred face.
"Just tell me if you think of cutting them," responded Mari, momentarily stopping drying his hair.
"Sure but don't country girls love this look?" He joked, the corner of his lip twitching upwards, Mari chuckled for a second.
Men back in Eyam are always freshly shaven, with thick sideburns, and definitely not long hair but still, Mari played along, "Not really but if it reaches your ankles, well, now you're definitely a hottie,"
Jude laughed, "With hair that long, it'll take me years to be a hottie. Didn't know country girls dig old guys,"
"Oh, we just really like wise men, Master, and fret not, I'll help you comb your hair. You on this side while me on the other side,' Mari chuckled, biting her lower lip to halt herself from snorting.
"Then do help me wash them as well," and it took Jude a second to realize how inappropriate his comment is. He just can't go on addressing a maiden such a topic like this, her washing his hair, them in the tub together, the horror.
At that moment, Jude almost expected to be slapped in the cheek, however, none came. Instead, she replied with that blithe voice of hers, oblivious to his obscenity, "As long as I use my flowery soap then we have no problem,"
Afraid of further saying inappropriateness, Jude shut his mouth, and just gave a nod as a reply, and resumed eating.
It was almost a few minutes later when Mari put down the towel for his hair all dry now though still unruly.
And so, all while Jude is eating, Mari is now combing his hair, her other hand on his shoulder. The feeling of her hand on his hair, of his hand on his shoulder, is so heavenly to the point he almost leaned back on her but, of course, he forced himself not to do such a thing.
Mari, oblivious to her companion's inner quarrel with himself, kept combing his long jet-black hair, working on its end, and unconsciously began messaging his shoulder in her other hand.
Suddenly, her mind drifted back to the discussion she heard back a while ago. About Jude going to London.
Truth be told, Mari has mixed feelings about London for some reason she can't seem to name which deeply confuses her. Of course, she knew she should support the idea of Jude getting out of this village, going to the very adventurous London instead of sitting all day with her in this room, listening to her endless blabbers.
Looking back, Mari realized never saw Jude leave this very room for almost a year now. With that, she had this strong urge to invite him to take a walk outside, or even downstairs in the parlor but of course, she must first test his mood.
Obviously, Jude has his reasons why he chose not to go out. She's not stupid, Mari knew Jude cannot handle the outside world yet, like how her father acted when he first lost his sight or even how her friend, the parson's son she used to play with when Ann and Dylan left for abroad.
Oh, that poor child. Blind at the age of fifteen and so, with her background in taking care of the sightless, the person hired her to take care of the poor child and with that, that's how Mari managed to buy food on the table at the age of fourteen.
Her late father objected at first, saying she should take care of him but Mari insisted since she knew her father's reserved money was all gone and their relatives said they wouldn't be helping financially anymore.
Besides, Mari knew the very reason why her father doesn't like her work is because nobody is watching over him, his father can handle himself, all with Mari already preparing his food and his clothes and besides, his father always sleeps. It's because his father cannot digest the idea of his daughter working for the sake of surviving. He should be the one worrying about that, not his poor young daughter.
"You know, Master, I know someone back in Eyam who suddenly woke up blind, no warning and such. The morning before that, let me tell you, all is fine and the next morning, viola, all he could see is darkness," said Mari, combing his hair still yet halted, messaging his shoulder, just resting on it.
"Poor bloke," replied Jude, shaking his head, frowning though his mind all could focus was her closeness behind him, her hand in his shoulder, in his hair and wait, who is this someone back in Eyam? Scratch that, he's not a poor bloke.
"He used to always play ball outside, kicking this and that, crafting make-shift balls then poof, suddenly, he can't do that any longer. 'course, he was depressed and it pained me to see him like that but over the years, he did manage. Suddenly, he overcomes the challenge and if you could meet him, oh, dear, it was as if nothing changed. Sure, he no longer plays ball and such but still, he was still smiling and told you, Master, that friend of mine is a ladies' man," Mari added, smiling at the memory.
Jude could tell by the sound of her voice, Mari is indeed smiling but all Jude could do is repress his overwhelming urge to scowl.
"And who is this friend of yours?" Inquired Jude, forcing himself not to sound interested then hid his face by drinking.
"He's Benedict, the parson's son back in Eyam," answered Mari as she resumed massaging his shoulder.
Jude, with his brows meeting, replied, "You're on first-name basis with this...Benedict?" hoping Mari won't notice his frown and how he gripped the cup.
"'Course, I am. He's my friend since God knows when. Oh, I'll tell you some other time the games we used to play, you'll love it, Master," exclaimed Mari, chuckling.
His frown deepened. No way in hell would he enjoy hearing about this Benedict playing with Mari here, all while her calling this man in his Christian name. Damnation, Mari has been here for many months now yet she still addresses him formally.
The only time she called him in his Christian name was back at Christmas, all with her getting panicked and so.
Mari began rambling about her friend while he internally screamed.
Damn Benedict and his clock collection.
Damn Benedict and his cookies.
Damn Benedict and his pet dog.
Damn Benedict!
What kind of name is that, anyway?
Damn the society.
Damn their endless gossip.
Damn their judging looks.
Damn himself.
Damn his ugly face.
Damn his scars over his body.
Damn this damning blindness.
After lunch, Mari, as usual, brought the book up with her and began their reading session. Jude sitting in his usual seat, Mari sitting on the footstool beside him, reading to him, her voice soft.
However, Jude's mind can't seem to focus on the story because jealousy ate him wholly, frowning.
At first, Mari decided not to comment about it, thinking it must be because of the brotherly fight a while ago but after an hour or so, she couldn't take it any more, and so, she closed the book.
Still, Jude was still frowning, oblivious to his companion's abrupt halting, causing Mari to worry more.
And so, without any second thoughts, she intertwined her fingers with his hand on his lap, with that, that caught his attention, he looked at her direction, raising both his brows.
"What's the matter, muffin?" She asked, brushing her thumb across his palm, unconsciously addressing him by the nickname she gave him.
Hearing her endearment made his spirits a tad lighter, though his jealousy remained persistent.
"Master Jude? Something wrong?" Mari repeated when Jude dared not respond and instead, appeared even more bothered than before.
His frown only deepened, "I wish you'll call stop calling me 'Master', Mari,"
Mari suddenly remembered how last Christmas, Jude requested the same thing to which she followed for the first few days, but she returned to the formalities once again.
"I-ah, okay,"
And with that, silence enveloped them, with her fingers still intertwined with his, yet none dared to release one another.
"But really, Mas- I mean, Jude, something the matter?" she asked again, after a minute.
Jude couldn't help but let out a faint smile but said nothing, and so, silence enveloped them once more, worrying Mari greatly.
Still, Jude seems like doesn't have a plan on speaking or even hearing about the story, whether from the book in her tales back in Eyam. With that, Mari busied herself by staring at him, worrying.
Then, she stared at their intertwined hands, suddenly, she found herself tracing his nails and her other hand, still, Jude said none.
Hours passed, nobody dared to speak, still, Mari stayed beside him, their hands intertwined. Even when she rested her forehead against his thigh, her emerald eyes staring at their intertwined hands on his other lap, still, he said none.
Truly, she's worried. This is worse than him not talking to her when she first arrived here.
"Master Jude, what's wrong? You know you could always tell me anything," she softly said later, now staring at him, still, no reaction. Wincing at herself as she once again forgot to drop the formality.
"Oh, muffin," added Mari then brushed his hair back with her other hand, frowning.
Still, he did not answer, and so, she rested her head once more on his lap.
Mari almost jumped in her seat in joy when her ears picked up the sound of his voice, instantly, she looked up at him.
"Is there anyone waiting for you back home?" he asked in such a strange voice.
Confused she was at her question yet she still found herself answering, just thankful that Jude spoke, "Oh, none, really. My parents all dead, my relatives, well, let's just say, they're thankful I am not a burden anymore,"
Jude replied with a nod, then slowly, he murmured, "Tha-that's good...good. I mean, not about your parents being dead, of course,"
Mari's gaze continued on Jude, confused at his out-of-the-blue question. Her brows knitted as she stared at him slowly leaning towards her to which she let out a soft shriek when Jude carried her in his arms and before she realized what he plans on doing, he raised her from the stool to his lap then crashed his chapped lips to hers.
Her eyes wide in shock, all while Jude moved his lips on hers, his hands on her arms, she sitting on his lap, him surrounding her, her stiff hands on his chest.
Despite her surprise, Mari, for some reason, found herself responding to his kiss which seemed to surprise him as well. However, she was surprised and deepened when she felt his tongue enter her mouth, then licked her lips. His tongue?! Goodness, gracious. Plus, with her sitting on his lap. Imagine the scandal.
Still, Mari can't seem to find herself stopping him, instead, she just let him and his lips and tongue and responded, no tongue, of course, her hands traveling to his back then to his long hair The next thing they know, they are gasping for air.
Mari stared at Jude, her eyes wide, blushing, her lips sore, her lips wet, breathing hard, still sitting on his lap, his arms around her waist.
Jude, on the other hand, is catching his breath as well but the corners of his lips twitched up, as if satisfied. And so, he tightened his grip around her waist.
Indeed, she's speechless especially when he surprised her once more by kissing her again and before she realized what's happening, she was once again responding to his mind-blowing hungry kiss.
"But darling, don't you want to practice?" He whispered a minute later, all while their lips were still faintly touching, both breathing raggedly.
Mari can't seem to reply though in her heart, she knew the answer and it seems like, Jude as well since he broke another grin and attacked her once more, his lips landing on her chin to her neck, all while Mari is squirming in his lap, her skirt all not properly positioned, her fair bare legs showing.
Even when she was now resting her head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat, his arm around her waist, steadying her in his lap, Mari stared at their hands, Jude tracing her palm with his other hand causing her to shiver, causing Jude to chuckle and plant a kiss on her forehead.
"Do you think we should replace the reading session with the kissing session?" Jude jokes
Chuckling, she replied, "Let's see,"
"Oh, my darling, I can't see, you know that," he jokingly replied, brushing her waist back and forth across her battered frock, seeping through her skin.
Mari just laughed as a reply, "but seriously, you've been reading every day for months, don't you think it's time to let your voice rest?"
"But how about my lips, Jude?" She asked, playfully, smiling. However, Jude pretended not to hear her, instead, he planted a quick kiss on her lips.
Stroking his beard, "Well, I'll miss reading romance with you, Master,"
Staring at her slender fingers as she brushed his beard, her cheek still rested against his chest, she felt the vibration of his laughter. "And I'll miss your hilarious comments in-between your readings, madame,"
This time, it's her turn to grin, "I could still do that, comment on how you kiss every now and then,"
"Well, do me the honor and share your thoughts on my performance a while ago, my darling," he said, stroking her arm, totally now enclosing her in his arms.
"Well, you kiss good,"
"That's it? Only good? Not, better or best?"
"Oh, muffin, you're the only guy I ever kissed, I don't have someone to compare to. How am I supposed to know you're the best?" She replied, now drawing circles across his chest.
His jaw clenched for a second, "Then good is fine, just don't go kissing other guys, my darling,"
She frowned, "Well, what if they start kissing me without any permission, like how you did?" She jokingly asked, grinning causing him to chuckle.
"Don't worry, my darling, that's just me," he replied, softly patting her arm.
"And, Jude?"
"Hmmm?"
"How many women have you kissed?" She asked, her brows meeting.
Jude kissed her the top of her head, let his fingers run through his short curls, "Are you jealous?"
It caused her to frown, "I am not, Master. Just curious, that's all,"
Grinning, he answered, "Then I'm afraid I won't be satisfying your curiosity, my darling"
Mari looked up at him, frowning, cupping his cheek, feeling his angry scars on the face on her skin, "That's unfair. I just wanted to know, Jude,"
"But why?"
"Because you already know how many I've kissed which is only you, as we both know and I bet you've kissed hundreds of women already. Now, can you please just answer,"
Jude chuckled, tightened his arms around her, caressed her soft hair, and said, "Many, Mari but who cares? Hell, I can't even remember their names nor their faces because every time I think of kiss, you're the only one that pops into my mind,"
That causes Mari to blushed and beamed, "Re-really?"
Jude nodded, "Really."
"You don't even know what I look like, Jude. How can you say that?"
" I know for a fact that you're the most beautiful woman in the world, with your freckles, your plump lips, your green eyes like mine, especially with your short blond curls," he replied, all while stroking her hair that now touches her shoulders.
Mari's eyes turned wide, as if in total disbelief, " Are you really blind? How can you know all that?"
Jude thought of joking with her, saying that he just knew but decided not to. Instead, he said, "My brother told me,"
"Oh. Uhm but he's lying. I am in no means beautiful"
"Silly, 'course he's not, my darling. Look at me, I know I look like a total caveman but you have to believe me when I say you're beautiful. Not only on the outside but also on the inside," he said then kissed her on the forehead.
And with that, it's her turn to wrap her arms around him.
"Now, can we please just kiss?" Whispered Jude in her head causing Mari to lightly slap his arm, all while her head still rested on his chest, she sat in his lap, his arms around her, all these screams inappropriate yet none said anything about it.
And so, they stayed in this position for like forever, talking endlessly, laughing, Jude stealing a kiss every now and then. Even hours later, Mari could still feel his lips on her lips and skin.
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Hi, loves! Sorry for not updating as often as you all would like. Hope you're all having a great and safe weekend.