Chapter 37: Clarity
JANNA AND LEONE HADN’T CONVINCED her to consent to dying just yet, but they’d succeeded in making her run out of magic. It was okay for the others – all of them had backup powers. Calida used mainly Earth now, turning the ground to slush for everyone except her, and Nicholas was wielding a wooden staff, with columns of wood spiking up from the soil every now and then. Even Daniel sent out mental commands whose pulses she could feel, one after the other. She didn’t know what they were meant for, though the oncoming Adepts stumbled sometimes. But her? She was almost done for, with her Metal powers sealed up tight.
If this battle was fated, then they had to truly become the Emblems. Dax was right. Every element was needed, even the one that was corrupted. The Emblems were supposed to bring peace to all the races – didn’t that include Demons, the creatures Metal had created, as well? There was a reason she had Metal powers, and this could be it right now. Without another type of magic she was the weak link that couldn’t defend herself, whether the other three bothered to cover her or not.
All of them had lasted longer than she’d expected, but that was because they’d started off with elements they were familiar with. Now that strategy had run itself to the ground, and it was glaringly obvious that they wouldn’t hold for as long with their secondary powers.
Kicking her attacker back into the mob, she used the brief respite to survey the Vortex forces. The crowd stretched four Adepts deep, each line taking turns to come to the front and fight the Emblems before fading to the back to catch their breath. Most had sheathed their weapons, or lost them along the way, and resorted to mainly magic. In a battle of stamina, the four of them definitely weren’t going to last. When our magic runs out, our lives go with it. We’re running out of time.
Another assailant switched in, making wind buffet her face. “Calida!” she shouted. The girl, fire burning under her mocha-coloured skin, slid to her right and let the oxygen feed the weak flames that flickered at her fingertips till they burned brighter, managing to score a flaming punch on the man’s chest. She dashed to her left and took Calida’s place next to Daniel, fending off the lady that tried to take advantage of the opening. A swift, bruising kick to her face sent her flying into the guy behind her.
Daniel didn't even look at her and in the corner of her eye his profile was grimy with sweat and blood and dirt. A Fire Adept came at her, flames a burning yellow that made Calida's seem like a flicker on a matchstick. She braved the heat, letting it sear her skin as she bent under it and stabbed upwards with the handle of her whip with her good arm, following up with a roundhouse kick that downed the man on impact.
The smell of burning hair filled her nose, and she had to snuff the tiny flames out with her fingers. She took a deep breath. Quickly, before the next one gets close. Just like last time, she'd have to reach out into her surroundings but without her magic. "Daniel." She knew he'd hear her over the din of the battle. A glance out of the corner of his eye and a slight quirk of his lips were all she got. It was enough though.
The moment they made eye contact she opened her mind to him, almost like how she'd take a knife to a sealed cardboard box, stabbing in and dragging down and then turning everything upside down, letting the contents of her consciousness spill out for all to see. Daniel half-turned to her as a tiny stream of water wrapped around the neck of the man in front of him like a noose, yanking him backwards. A cracking sound marked the dislocation of his jaw. "What—" Are you doing? Immediately he was inside her head continuing his question, just as a fist, earth coating the knuckles, came flying out of nowhere to slam into her jaw.
Even as she flew backwards into Nicholas she was closing her eyes. They went tumbling over each other but she ignored the pain shooting daggers into her shoulder. In her mind, she tore down her walls, waged war against her need for control, and the fear that others would slip in just as Daniel had. She took her defenses down, dissecting, exposing every part of her own mind like they were artifacts in a museum.
Distantly she heard Daniel shouting at her – but whether it was in reality or in her head she didn't know. The words jumbled up in her head, a mess of no and stop and are you insane and what the hell are you doing, tossed around to join the chaos that she'd turned her mind into. She tore open every neatly organized box: her dreams, her nightmares, reality and illusion, breaking and mixing and shuffling till the completed jigsaw puzzles of her life were just piles of pieces on the floor.
There was the crunchcrunchcrunch of her father's dead body falling down the stairs, the shinggg of a blade, a sharp voice going selfish brat, Lucian's daughter. Her mother's cry of get behind me! Daniel's blood streaked face, throwing up his arms as silver claws tore into his flesh, and then Emily's twisted snarl and the flash of silver and red on a mutilated body.
She screamed, and the memories screamed back at her, with all her anger and her fear and her longing and everything else in between. All of them were dark and cruel, but none held the darkness itself. She dug deeper, went past all the pain, to the cruelty in the furthest part of her mind, and came up against a wall. No. She tried to reach into it, the only box she hadn't opened yet.
She beat at it till her fists in that reality were bleeding, the red staining the blank, white barrier that barred the way like rose petals on the padded walls of an asylum. Well, at least you found it for me. It was like a phantom hand, ghosting along her skin, and the wall cracked, shuddered, opened up. Shadow came pouring out, bursting forth – a fountain of inky black set on devouring the blankness from before. She let it stains her, cover her, engulf her, her thoughts, her mind, her conscience, her memories, obsidian dye sinking into the fabric whose twisted-together strings made up every piece of her twisted-together self.
The memories turned into dull hazy silhouettes.
It was simple, fast, painless, a flash of god yes I can do this, I’ll make them cower, I’ll make them pay, and then she was on all fours, shadow forming new sinew and muscle and skin and darker-than-black fur. When she opened her mouth and exhaled, air hissed out between razor sharp canines.
But when she tried to move, regain the feeling in her limbs, but it felt like she was in that chasm again, or the boggy grave the Earth Adepts had almost sealed her in, sinking into the blackness, pushed down by the cruelty and the darkness and the hissing that said the fear the magic kill kill kill make them fear make them bleed paint it red. She struggled and just sank more. This wasn’t like training in the Athenaeum. She couldn’t concentrate, couldn’t think of the rope to yank herself upwards when there was fear and killing all around, everywhere. Till Daniel's voice came again, echoing slightly in the space: I've got your back.
Another ghostly touch, and yet the tug was firm, anchoring her, making her will strong, cementing her in the fact that I’m not alone and if it’s Daniel I’ll be fine we’ll be fine. She blinked her eyes open, saw carnage unfolding through silver tinted lenses. Stay close, or I won't be able to protect your mind, went the voice that shared the space in her head. He patted her leg. She was taller than him in this form, even with her head bowed slightly – her mind felt heavy, full, almost bursting.
She raised her head only to give him a stare, then lowered her head again. Get on. He hesitated and she would’ve rolled her eyes if she could. I have my pride, but this isn't the time to worry about it. Nodding, he pushed up his glasses, grasped her fur and swung himself to sit at her neck. Hold on. And make sure my mind stays mine.
Yes, ma’am.
Tensing, she sprung right into a line of Adepts and rampaged through them. They reacted quickly, using their various elements to pull themselves out of the way. She twisted past projectiles and above her Daniel let out a yell. When she blinked and focused, the silver outlines of their weapons looked as clear as day. She tilted her head and the metal blades lifted out of their sheaths, turning to attack their owners. Fire Adepts' flames turned a bright yellow, and they melted their own weapons, the flames going on to singe her fur.
A hiss escaped her, and she jumped right over them, crashing into another group of enemies. Her ears – finally, her hearing was back to that exceptional normal – picked up the twang of a bowstring, and she dodged the flying arrow, but another one came in her blind spot, piercing her side. She let out a low growl. Daniel, you need to cover me from above. I can’t concentrate on everything at once.
She swerved to avoid a barrage of throwing knives and he let out a surprised “whoa!”. Shit, I can’t read your thoughts when you’re just reacting to things. Your reaction time is insane. I won’t be able to use Water or my katana without falling off.
What will help? she asked him, almost bucking him off when she tore past an Earth Adept, batting away the columns of earth that rose up randomly around her.
If I fully meld with you… Even in her mind, he sounded unsure.
Do it. She hesitated, surveying the crowd of Adepts, and then let her claws emerge from her paws. Daniel wouldn’t let her hurt anyone fatally.
You’ll never be able to get me out, and I won’t even have a choice whether to read your mind or not, he warned.
It doesn’t matter. She was entrusting her mind to him – everything that she had and was and would be. He’d see everything, and it didn’t matter to her at all. Just do it.
A push at her mind and suddenly she saw what he saw – the Adepts all around, getting back up with determined eyes, elements ready for offense. Her ears picked up the low sound of him unsheathing his katana, and underneath the sound, a higher pitched twang that only she could hear. Both of them looked left at the same time, and when the arrow got close enough he cut it out of the air, standing on her back.
She jumped away from a wave of flame, and he leapt off, up and over the roaring fire, twisting around for a roundhouse kick in the abdomen of a Fire Adept as she bodyslammed a group of Water Adepts. Mind Adepts came with their weapons drawn, probing at her mind. She turned the metal against them and Daniel responded with a crippling pulse that sent them to their knees, hands over their ears, allowing her to slash at their legs so they wouldn’t be able to get back up.
Meanwhile Daniel had caught up with Nicholas and Calida. He gave both of them a grin and jumped up so she could slide underneath him, as if their bodies were one unit. “Rest for a minute,” he conveyed the message for her. “We’ve got this.”
She knew his strategies and he relied on her senses and instincts. He never let her sink into the darkness or give in to the craving for blood and fear. They moved like machines programmed to work together, dancers waltzing to the same beat, every action calculated, smooth, flawless, coordinated to perfection.
There was a part of her that was disgusted at herself. And there was another that reveled in the chaos and the blood and the way her claws glinted silver. The conflict didn't matter. They were one and the same – her and the Demon, melded together the same way Daniel was to her. She could hate herself, but feeling satisfied with killing someone like Emily was not wrong. It was okay, if that was part of who she was. And this, she decided, was who she was: a Demon with a girl’s mind, a girl with a Demon’s mind, a creature desiring conquests of herself and others, with a little touch of fear.
Then again, nothing mattered when her mind felt so full, his presence wrapped around her consciousness like a barrier, a light in the darkness lurking about, except she was protecting him too. Their thoughts were layers in her head, overlapping one another like they had always been so close, as natural as breathing and living.
Snarling at the group of Adepts surrounding her and Daniel, she raised herself up to swipe at them with her claws, but something cold lashed her down suddenly, whipping onto her with enough force to knock Daniel off her and pin her to the ground. She growled, snapped her jaws. More rope-like things came onto her body, neck, legs and jaws, so she was forced to crouch down, almost spreadeagled on the ground. Twisting her head awkwardly, she found that the ropes were made of water and air and earth. The fact that they didn’t dare use metal on her gave her some twisted satisfaction. Daniel?
He didn’t respond, but she heard his yell of frustration. His panic resounded through her, followed by a hard smack and pain flashed white hot in her mind. His focus broke and his presence seemed to recede in her head, shrinking away from her consciousness.
The dark enveloped her again and she sunk like a rock. Her last clear thought was where are the Fire Adepts?