I hate when people make a big deal out of my birthday. It just makes me feel on edge and I don’t want to be the centre of attention. My birthday falls on the 5th of December, which was the day after Nate and I returned from our stay at Babington House.
I travelled home to Brighton with Nate and Emma to see my parents and the five of us had a lovely home-cooked meal and just relaxed. I had tried to forbid gifts but everyone had ignored me. My parents had gotten me a wonderful warm duvet and along with some of my favourite products from Lush. My sister had gotten me different decorative bits and bobs and a framed collage with photos of us. Even Luke had mailed a present, a new lens for my camera. Nate had gotten me a charm bracelet along with two charms, one of a telephone box and one of a palm tree representing London and LA. Kristina had bought me one of her favourite books and I was excited to read it. I was extremely happy for the thoughtfulness of all of my presents but all I really wanted was their company and support and I had gotten that as well.
A few of the YouTubers also knew that I had been my birthday but they hadn’t posted on any social media. Not that they could have reached me that way but I saw my phone lit up with endless of sweet messages and I couldn’t remember the last time I had felt so loved. I had always had my parents and Emma but even Luke had gone out of touch. It was amazing how much had changed this year.
I had mentioned my birthday in a blogpost last year and to my astonishment a lot of my readers remembered it and left sweet comments on my newest post. The fact that people remembered my birthday seemed so odd.
I said goodbye to my family after dinner since Nate and I had to get to the airport and meet Joe whom were flying to LA with us. I still wasn’t the best on a plane but I managed okay. When the three of us walked out into the warm Los Angeles air, it was all worth it.
“Good old LA sun,” Joe commented as we dragged our baggage along into a taxi.
“I’ve been addicted to vacation in December,” Nate told him. “It’s nice to get a break from England’s gloomy weather.”
“England is lovely too,” I said defending my country. I knew that the boys didn’t mean any harm but I hated when people talked trash for no reason. LA could be lovely without having to put England down in comparison.
The boys burst out into laughter and gave me a double hug.
“That’s right,” Nate agreed.
We were all pretty bombed and jetlagged and went to bed straight away. The following day we were still recuperating and spend most of it by the pool. Oli came to visit since he had been in LA for weeks and obviously Caspar joined us too. The boys walked around in their swimming trunks and they looked nothing like Californian boys. Their pale skin was a tell tale giveaway that they were used to colder weather.
It felt odd to be the only girl amongst the boys but I didn’t mind and neither did they. I even felt comfortable walking around in bikini. I heard Nate tell off the boys’ wandering eyes a couple of times but in a joking way.
We came up with silly games and some of it got caught on camera since Nate is a daily vlogger and Joe was doing Vlogmas. Mostly, we just chatted and it was so nice to catch up with the boys. I didn’t know Oli that well but I was getting to know him and he seemed lovely. Nate and I sometimes hung out with Joe and Caspar back in London but we were usually in a rush to get somewhere afterwards and it was kind of nice to have no set plans. I knew Caspar and Nate had some meetings to attend the coming days but nothing like usual.
It felt nice to get some sun but I was slightly worried that I might get sunburned. I had been a little poorly
The boys went out for dinner in the evening and met up with a few other people but I didn’t feel up for it, so I stayed in and skyped Luke while eating pizza. We had plans to meet up the day after tomorrow since he had been swamped with work and didn’t have time before then.
“Hey Luke,” I said cheerily as I popped up on his screen.
He looked very tired and had slightly red eyes. He instantly had me worried.
“Is everything okay?” I asked and my voice went up a notch.
“Yeah, I just have a lot of projects to do right now. I look forward to seeing you though,” he said with a weak smile. He looked absolutely exhausted. I knew that he worked partly for our uncle and that he was a tough businessman but surely he wouldn’t drive his nephew this hard.
“It is something with the freelance jobs or the work for uncle?” I asked.
“It’s kind of a long story and I promise that I’ll tell you everything when we meet,” he said and his eyes darted to the side. He was nervous about something that he had to tell me.
I didn’t want to push him but it took all of my restraint to hold my tongue. I would have to be patient. It was only two days after all.
“I wanted to thank you for my birthday gift. I love the new lens. It works wonder with the photos I took at the pool earlier. You didn’t have to get me a gift though.”
“Of course, I did. You’re my baby sister. I’ll always buy you birthday gifts and look out for you.”
His voice was so warm and filled with love. A year ago he wouldn’t even talk to me because he was ashamed of his problems. I had missed my big brother so much and was thankful he was finally back.
“I’m glad,” I told him.
We chatted on for a little while longer but then he had to get back to work. I was yawning the entire time and by the time I had said goodbye, I buried myself in pillows and sheets and drifted off to sleep.
The next day I had slept in for way too long and woke to a note on the bed table.
Morning, love. Do you know that you look beautiful when you are sleeping? I’ve probably told you that before. I had to go to my meeting but the boys said that you could come hang out in their room. They are chilling and filming videos. Oh, and Connor will be there. Can’t wait to see you tonight! <3
I smiled at the adorable note. Nate and I had gotten into the habit of leaving notes by the bed if one of us woke earlier and had to leave. I could feel awful to wake up to an empty bed but a cute note somehow made it a lot better. I knew he had mention Connor because he knew how much I liked that boy. I had really clicked with him in LA and had stayed in touch with him since. Tomorrow would kind of be a big day for him and I was happy I got to hang out with him and show support.
I ordered some room service and hopped into the shower. When I was done, I heard a knock on the door and the food had arrived. I ate it quickly and got dressed just as fast. It was wonderful that you could wear shorts and T-shirt in December. Odd but wonderful.
I knocked on door to Joe and Caspar’s room and was greeted by a Joe in a towel with wet hair. Apparently, I wasn’t the only one who had gotten up late.
“Who’s that?” Caspar yelled from the bed although he would just have had to move a little to see the hall.
“It’s me, Cas,” I said. “Are you decent?”
Joe started chuckling and returned to the bathroom. I heard Caspar jump up from the bed and soon I was pulled into a hug. That boy was so massive that he made me feel tiny.
Shortly afterwards, I heard a knock and I flew off the bed. Caspar and Joe started laughing at my reaction but followed closely behind. They had missed their friend too.
Connor stumbled a step back when I opened the door and threw my arms around him. I hadn’t seen him in person since Vidcon and boy, had I missed him. It’s odd but sometimes you just find people that you bond with so well and it feels like you known them forever.
I felt him smile and return the hug.
“I’ve missed you too, Abbey,” he said.
“What about us?” Joe asked.
Reluctantly, I let Connor go and greet his other friends. We all walked into the room and sat on the beds and chatted for a while. Joe and Connor were going to film a couple of collabs and Caspar needed to film an intro for his latest prank on Joe video. Still, we sat and chatted for over an hour to begin with.
The four of us spend hours in that room, filming, watching the sunset, chatting and filming some more. I even helped the boys set up lighting and it felt good to be of some use. I hated this constant worry that I was intruding or in the way. Luckily, I experienced it less often. I never ever felt like that in the presence of Nate, with him I always felt safe and wanted.
When Joe finally went to wash the sticky stuff out of his hair, Caspar got a phone call that he took on the balcony and Connor and I was alone. I looked at him with a knowing glance and I could feel that he knew exactly what I was thinking.
Connor had came out to me in the early fall over Skype. Nate had known a while longer but kept it quiet. I felt immensely proud of Connor and could see how he had taken a sigh of relief when I had accepted it like it was nothing.
I hadn’t personally known any gay guys before, to my knowledge at least, but I had gotten to know Tyler and Troye a little bit. It didn’t make any difference to me if Connor liked guys or girls. I liked him as a person and a friend, regardless of whom he was attracted to.
Still, I understood the gravity of what he was about to do. I wouldn’t have dared to make a coming out video to millions of people. I bet that he had filmed it multiple times and had struggled but knowing him, he had made it work at last. I had been so hesitant to reveal my relationship with Nate and we still never kissed on camera, not intentionally at least.
“I’m so proud of you and in awe I might add,” I told Connor.
His lips pulled into a slight smile and he started nervously playing with his hands.
“I am sure that everyone will take it well. You’re so amazing and the majority of your subscribers likes you for your personality, not because they think they’ll be able to shag you one day.”
Connor burst out laughing so loudly that we got a questioning glance from Caspar outside.
“I love you,” he said and threw his arm around me. “And I’m sure you’re right.”
I hugged him back. I often worried for my newfound YouTube friends. It seemed like so much of their happiness depended on YouTube and the kindness of strangers. I had only known most of them through upswings, except Zoe, and I was constantly worried that they might fall. I knew that they were strong individuals but sometimes the world can be too harsh.
“Thank you,” Connor whispered into my hair.
“That’s okay. I’m so happy for you. Your video from last week was absolutely perfect by the way.”
The front door opened and Nate walked in. He stopped when he saw Connor and I’s embrace and tilted his head and shot us that crooked smile of his.
“If I didn’t know better, Con, I would think you’re trying to steal my lady,” Nate said.
Connor chuckled. “You know if she were a guy I’d be all over her,” he said and kissed my cheek.
It was wonderful to hear him joke around like that. He seemed much more confident than at Vidcon.
“Are you ready to go out?” Nate asked me. We had agreed to go out for dinner alone before meeting up with the boys later.
I nodded and Connor walked out with us. We waved goodbye to Caspar but Joe was still running the shower and didn’t hear us leave.
Connor had to go back to his flat, or apartment as he called it, and said a quick goodbye. I made him promise to hang out with me at least once more before we left for England.
“Insecurity alert. Have I got competition?” Nate jokingly asked while he placed his hand around my waist.
He didn’t worry that I hung out with Joe and Caspar but Connor had him worried. I think it scared him a bit how well we got on.
“Did I give you a hard time for being good friends with Tina, your ex?” I asked. I knew he was only being a bit insecure that he wouldn’t be the first one I went to everything with. He should have known that he didn’t need to worry, he had trumped everyone; my parents, Emma, Luke, Kristina and Connor.
“No, you’ve been wonderful about that. I still think you should meet her though.”
I wasn’t sure I wanted to meet her. I trusted Nate completely but meeting the stunning blonde in person wasn’t on my to-do list. I knew myself well enough that I could be secure when watching from a far but standing next to her I would compare us whether I wanted to or not.
“Maybe someday,” I said hesitantly. “I’ll bring Connor,” I added to annoy Nate.
He rolled his eyes and me but then spun me around quickly and dipped me into a kiss like they do in the movies. That boy was just as cliché as I was and I bloody loved it.
We had a perfect dinner by a fire. I ended up eating my weight in spaghetti carbonara and Nate had a steak. We finished with hot chocolates with tiny marshmallows. It took two hours from we came to we left and we had been talking and laughing the entire time.
Nate called Joe and it turned out that he was at Dave & Busters an arcade with Caspar, Sawyer Hartman and some of his friends. We jumped into an über and joined them. The place was much larger than we had anticipated; it was both an arcade and a bar.
The night was a blur of games, laughs and fun times with friends. I spend a lot of time geeking out with Sawyer about cameras. I learned so much from him and it didn’t even feel like I was bugging him because he was so encaustic about it.
LA was so beautiful and I felt as if the people here were a lot friendlier and more outgoing than back in London. Strangers approached us multiple times. Travelling was fun. You got to learn and see so much but it could be a bit terrifying too. I was lucky enough that I would just go stand by Nate if I felt worried and then my worries would lessen massively.
************************************************
I decided to put another chapter up early. I had just written it when I saw that all parts had reached a hundred reads individually. That's insane. Thank you if you're reading this. I love when Nate and Abbey are in LA because then they can interact with American YouTubers too. Wuhu! I hoped you enjoyed this chapter.
I've added Joe's vlog of the Connor collab and the arcade at the side.