(Seina's POV)
I arrived at the host club one day after school to find the hosts all dressed in late Edo period cosplay with everyone except Mori-senpai wearing hair extensions. A sign outside declared it to be an Ikeda shop for the day. The fan girls seemed unusually enamoured with the theme and Renge-san in particular was incensed, already mid-dramatic monologue.
I headed over to Kyoya and allowed him to press a quick kiss to my cheek. 'Good afternoon Seina.'
'And you.' I reached up and ran a hand through his ponytail. 'Hmm, I have to say I think I prefer your shorter hair.'
Just then I heard a strange noise coming from behind one of the partitions. I glanced at Kyoya but he showed no signs of having heard. 'Can I borrow your Katana?'
'Not a chance.'
'Mean.'
'Seina! Where have you been all day?' Demanded the twins as they appeared beside me.
'I have been in every single one of your classes all day.' I replied impassively.
'But you haven't been here!'
'I had a group project to complete for my music class tomorrow.'
'And when you finally come here, you go straight to him!'
'I am her fiancé.' Kyoya retorted a tad irritably.
'We're her friends!'
I whirled around at the sound of splintering wood to see that Mori-senpai had speared the partition wall.
'Mori-senpai!'
'Why the sudden lunge?'
'Are you not getting enough attention?'
'Mori-senpai! Please calm down!'
'No. We have a trespasser.' He replied.
Behind said wall was Ritsu Kasanoda, heir to the Kasanoda syndicate, who immediately ran at Mori-senpai then fell to his knees before him. 'Morinozuka Takashi! Senpai! Please take me on as your apprentice!' Everyone stared at the intruder with open mouths except Honey-senpai who looked positively delighted.
As usual, Kyoya and his ever present black book were the source of an explanation. 'Ritsu Kasanoda of 1st year, class D. Heir to the 3rd generation head of the Kasanoda Syndicate, the most powerful line in the whole Kanto area. Admitted to Ouran for high school. Long red hair and a mean looking appearance; taciturn, without any friends. If your eyes meet you will have bad dreams for three months; if you bump shoulders you will end up in the hospital; those who attempt to talk back are sent to an early-'
'Hey Kyoya that's quite enough. Since when were you a purveyor of malicious gossip and obvious nonsense?' I demanded.
'He was going to say grave!' Hikaru loudly whispered to his twin.
'Hikaru!'
'What?'
'So,' Tamaki-senpai began. 'Why does a human weapon such as yourself want to be apprenticed to Mori-senpai?'
'That's not true. I am not a human weapon. I was just born with a face that makes me look mean.' Kasanoda-kun replied defensively.
'Then you're aware of it Casanova-kun?' The twins asked with a characteristic lack of tact.
'Guys!' I exclaimed.
'It's Kasanoda!'
'Bossa Nova?'
'I said Kasanoda! Do you want to die!?' The redhead yelled furiously.
'He does have a mean look.'
'Damn it. It's all because of the way I look. Ever since I was a young tyke, my old man said that I was destined to be the greatest gangster of all time due to my mean look. And so, from the time I was little I was taught to be a godfather. Anyhow, thanks to that gangster education no one ever comes near me. Even my men get scared and won't get too close anymore. And so, I am alone. But really, I too would like to play with everyone else. I'd like to play kick the can with the men that follow me.'
Tamaki-senpai perked up at that. 'To be sure, playing kick the can is nice.'
'But I don't know how I'm supposed to associate with other people.'
'Poor guy.' Murmured Honey-senpai.
'Morinozuka-senpai, that's why I need you to show me. How can you be the way that you are? As mean looking as you are? As expressionless, unspeaking and unsociable, you've got a mug like the watchdog from hell, so how is it that you are able to get the people around you to like you so much? Please teach me your secrets!'
Mori-senpai looked horrified at the younger student before putting his head in his hands. I hastily went to his side. 'Hey Mori-senpai that's just not true. You're perfectly handsome and we like you just the way you are. Kasanoda-kun! You on the other hand are out of order!'
'Takashi? Are you ok?' Honey-senpai asked in a small voice.
Mori-senpai looked between me and his cousin, massaging his temples slightly. 'I feel a little lightheaded.'
'Sir, are you sure we shouldn't do something?' The twins asked Tamaki-senpai with obvious concern.
'No. Leave him alone. He wants to be Mori-senpai's apprentice so Mori-senpai should be the one to decide what to do. This is not something we can interfere with.'
'Tamaki.' Mori-senpai muttered, gaining the attention of the blonde. The horror struck, pleading look on his face was enough to convey his desperate need for some Tamaki-senpai level interference. I'd be hard pressed to come up with another time when I'd seen him so emotional.
Thankfully, Tamaki-senpai was feeling unusually emphatic and understood the silent plea for help. 'Very well Mori-senpai, since you insist, I Tamaki Suoh will do whatever little I can to help.'
Haruhi eyed him suspiciously. 'You actually wanted to get involved so badly you couldn't bear it, huh?'
Tamaki-senpai approached Kasanoda-kun and tilted his chin up. 'Lift your head Bossa Nova-kun.'
'It's Kasanoda.'
'For the time being, you can call me King, Bossa Nova-kun.'
'I told you-'
'Are you listening Bossa Nova-kun!?'
'Yes Sir!'
'There may be many points of difference between you and Mori-senpai, but there is one definitive thing that you are lacking. A lovely item!'
'A...lovely item...?' Repeated the horrified redhead.
'I would now like to introduce to you this...lovely item, 'Mitsukuni-kun'. Sure, maybe Mori-senpai does have a mean look, and gives off a feeling of iciness at first glance. But what if we put this 'Mitsukuni-kun' atop his shoulders? It's almost like he's a teddy bear that little forest animals are fond of. In addition, this item also plays up Mori-senpai's tight lipped character. Even without saying anything, just placing this item with him increases people's tolerance of Mori-senpai, and they are left with a positive interpretation of him as a nice quiet, young man. That's the plan. It's no exaggeration to say that Mori-senpai's charm was first established once Honey-senpai was there.'
'You're right!' The twins exclaimed.
'Now that you mention it, Mori-senpai...basically doesn't do anything.'
'He's basically white noise.'
I was running out of ways to reassure my friend. 'Will the two of you cut it out!?'
Unfortunately, Honey-senpai had also been listening to this verbal battering. 'Takashi...were you just using me?'
'But 'Mitsukuni-kun' is on a long term contract to Mori-senpai, so you cannot borrow him.'
'Tamaki-senpai!' I growled at the older student. 'Honey-senpai is not on contract to anybody! They are cousins.'
'Have I been rented to you Takashi!?'
'Honey-senpai! You know that's not true!' Mori-senpai shook his head frantically at the sobbing blonde.
Naturally Tamaki-senpai was still not done. 'Never mind. I will come up with an alternative. The next thing to address is your 'Yankee' fashion. Hitachiin Brothers...'
'Sir!' They barked.
'Come up with an image change for this man's fashion!'
'Roger!'
The next day I was taking a walk outside with Mori-senpai and Honey-senpai when we were interrupted by a harsh shout. 'Aniki Morinozuka.' Kasanoda-kun then crouched down in front of us and bowed to the older student. 'Good morning.'
'Good morning Bossa Nova-kun!' Honey-senpai greeted enthusiastically.
'Hey there Haninozuka-senpai!'
The shorter boy retreated slightly. 'Hey there...'
Kasanoda-kun held out his arms. 'I will carry your bag to the classroom for you.'
'No that's ok, I can manage.' Mori-senpai replied.
There was a strange rattling noise from somewhere above us and a large terracotta pot, complete with potted plant, came crashing down from the roof. Luckily Mori-senpai noticed too and pushed Kasanoda-kun out of the way. He karate chopped the second in midair, shattering it before it could do any harm. We all stood like deer in headlights staring at what could have been a deadly accident.
Crowds of classmates, fans and fan girls began to crowd around the two host club members, concerned for their welfare. I carefully sidestepped the growing gathering and extended a hand to Kasanoda-kun who was still on the ground where he'd fallen.
'Thanks.' He muttered as I grabbed his wrist and tugged him back to his feet. 'You're the girl who was at the host club. Do you work there?'
'Absolutely not.'
'I meant no offence...'
'None taken.' I replied with a grin. 'Seina Kamei.'
'Ritsu Kasanoda.'
'I know.'
'Uh, thanks for standing up for me yesterday.'
'It's alright. I'm the only person who can get away with it so I might as well.'
'What do you mean?' I gave him a wry grin and raised my hand to show him my engagement ring. His eyes widened slightly. 'You're Ootori's fiancé?'
'I prefer to think that he is mine.'
After staring at me for a moment he gave a small laugh. 'You're not like most girls.'
'I should hope not. See you around Kasanoda-kun.'
Later that day, Kasanoda-kun decided to dutifully warn the host club of the threat against Mori-senpai.
'Huh? Someone's out to get Mori-senpai?' Tamaki-senpai queried.
'No doubt about it. I was there when it happened. Clearly he's gotten on the wrong side of someone.'
I raised an eyebrow. 'I beg to differ.'
The twins nodded their agreement. 'Mori-senpai would be the last person to get on the wrong side of someone.'
'You don't know that for sure!'
'Never mind that.' Tamaki-senpai said dismissively. 'Bossa Nova-kun, as of today, we start 'Operation Bossa Nova-kun Image Up' in earnest!'
'Yes Sir!' Chanted Honey-senpai and the twins.
Kasanoda-kun however, was not going to be easily restrained. 'Hey! Just a minute! What do you mean 'as of today'!? Don't go pretending that thing yesterday didn't happen! Thanks to that, people are even more afraid of me than before!'
'Bossa Nova-kun, I hope you don't misunderstand. We really are behind you. That thing yesterday was just the twins getting a little carried away. I hope you'll forgive them.' It was not lost on anyone there that the club president was tidily shirking responsibility for the latest incident.
'Sorry, I'm in your hands.' Kasanoda-kun replied, his cheeks pink.
I probably should have cautioned him on not taking Tamaki-senpai too seriously but Haruhi had been sat awfully close to Kyoya and leaning over his shoulder for quite some time. Despite all logic and reason, I couldn't help irritability stirring in my stomach.
I was shaken from my thoughts by Haruhi appearing next to Kasanoda-kun with a tray of tea and casually headed over. 'You're better off not putting too much faith in what those guys say.' She advised.
'But they were recommended to me by Aniki-Morinozuka. Besides, I'm the one who's imposing and asking a lot of them. Huh? Come to think of it...who are you?'
'Fujioka. We're both first years. I was also admitted for high school. I guess that makes us mates.'
The impressionable boy blushed again. 'Do...do you like playing kick the can?'
'Well...if I had to say then I'm not that interested but it might be fun every once in a while.' Kasanoda-kun looked like he was having an aneurysm. Or a crisis of sexuality. I decided I'd better intervene before things got too out of hand.
'Hey Kasanoda-kun.' I greeted as I slipped into the gap on the couch between him and Haruhi.
'Uh...H-hey Kamei-san.' He stuttered, clearly unused to having a girl so close to him.
'You know, you should really apologise to Mori-senpai for the things you said yesterday.'
'Why!?'
'Because I say so.'
'It's nothing people haven't said to me a million times before.'
'And that makes it ok?' I asked sharply. He stared at me as if startled by my response. 'What?'
'I don't think I've ever had anyone tell me off before, besides my father. You're not afraid of me?'
I raised an eyebrow. 'No. Why would I be?'
'Umm...my face?'
'What's wrong with your face? You scowl a lot but you're actually fairly handsome, cute even when you smile.'
He stared at me wide eyed and wordless, his cheeks a burning shade of red. 'Cute!?' He sputtered.
'Sure. Hey Kyoya, Kasanoda-kun really suits long hair. Don't you think?'
'Seina could you please come here.'
I gave Kasanoda-kun a quick wink before crossing the room and settling myself in my fiancé's lap. He wrapped his arm possessively around my waist and gave me a pointed kiss on the lips.
'It's so easy to get your attention.' I murmured against his mouth. He sighed and chuckled to himself, pressing his forehead against mine.
'You're impossible.'
'Always.'
The twins stuck their tongues out in exaggerated mock disgust and joined Tamaki-senpai in briefing Kasanoda-kun.
'We've decided on a strategy for your lovely image.' Announced the host club's king. He then placed cat ears on his victim's head. It was predictably horrifying.
'A cat monster.' Murmured Honey-senpai.
Tamaki-senpai looked around in bewilderment. 'That's strange I was told be Renge-san that these days kitty ears are quite the do-it-all lovely item.'
'Well naturally there are limits as to what cat ears can do to temper the frightfulness of his appearance.' Pointed out Kyoya.
Of course the twins had a fool proof plan to make things worse. 'Sir that came off as weak. If you're going to do it at all then look...you've got to go all the way and make him a kitty eared maid!' They exclaimed brandishing a maid outfit (no doubt originally intended for some scheme involving dressing up Haruhi).
'Are you guys making fun of me!?' Demanded an understandably irate Kasanoda-kun.
'Excuse me? Is Little Lord Kasanoda in here?' Asked a handsome boy with a long ponytail and ear piercings who had just appeared in the doorway. Naturally he arrived just in time to see his master bedecked in a maid dress and cat ears. Presumably not the desired image for the heir to the Kasanoda Syndicate. 'I-I'm sorry! I didn't mean to interrupt your private pastime!'
'What do you mean 'private pastime'!? Damn it! I can't take this any more.' Yelled a humiliated Kasanoda-kun. He then charged headlong out of the club room.
'Well that was a grand success.' I said.
After Kasanoda-kun left, Haruhi went after him and I made to follow but Mori-senpai stopped me and gestured to the window. Outside were two men advancing on Kasanoda-kun. They must have been his earlier attackers. Mori-senpai placed a finger to his lips then gestured for me to follow him and Honey-senpai. We snuck out into the grounds of the high school and through the gardens.
We arrived at the pond where Kasanoda-kun and Haruhi were sitting right in time for Honey-senpai to intercept the can of red paint flying towards our friends. Red paint sprayed out of the ruptured can, no doubt ruining Haruhi's uniform, but it clattered harmlessly to the ground.
'Ha-Haruhi!' Wailed Tamaki-senpai, already in full blown hysterics. 'Are you alright!? Is that blood!?'
'I'm fine.' She replied calmly. 'It's just paint.'
'Are you sure you're alright Fujioka?' Kasanoda-kun asked in a concerned tone.
'Mmm.'
'Let go of me you bastard!'
'You bitch!'
The abuse from the two trespassers and would be murderers continued as me and Mori-senpai hauled them forwards. He held one in an unforgiving head lock and I pressed the second man into the ground with the sole of my shoe.
'This is dirty of you Kasanoda! Not only do you kidnap our boss' kid but you hire thugs to watch your back! You rotten kidnapper! Give us back the kid!'
'Thugs?' I repeated in an offended tone. 'Now that's not polite.'
'Silent you ruffians!' Commanded the twins. 'Here is some rope!' They then helped me and Mori-senpai to secure the attackers.
'What is all this about?' Asked a bewildered Kasanoda-kun.
Honey-senpai beamed up at him. 'You know what? You see you're the one they were after all along Bossa Nova-kun. We decided not to say anything till we had apprehended the culprits. To avoid causing a disturbance you know?'
'So then, you helped me. Why?'
Mori-senpai patted the younger student's head. 'We can tell just by looking who the bad guys are.'
Haruhi glanced at the paint staining her clothes. 'I'm going to go get changed.'
'Need some help?' The twins offered.
'No thank you.'
I slapped them both upside the head. 'Perverts.'
'Thank you all for your help.' Kasanoda-kun said sincerely. 'Especially you Kamei-san, you shouldn't have put yourself in harms way on my account.' The twins started laughing at him. 'What? Why are you laughing!?'
'No reason!' Hikaru gasped between giggles. 'It's just, Seina is sort of the opposite of you Kasanoda-kun.'
Kaoru grinned. 'She looks beautiful and sweet on the outside but in reality...'
'She's utterly lethal. She wasn't in any danger at all.' They finished in unison.
While we were distracted, a familiar figure approached our captives. 'Dumbasses!' He kicked them both straight over. 'That's enough of your misplaced blame! Don't you get that I left because I was sick of hanging out with the likes of you? Get lost already!' The two men wasted no time in obeying the command, shuffling away while still bound together.
'Tetsuya...' Kasanoda-kun said, naming the cute brunette from earlier.
'I'm terribly sorry I didn't tell you before. I am Tetsuya Sendo, son of the godfather of the Kanto branch of the Sendo Syndicate. I have long been opposed to the by-any-means-necessary methods of the Sendo Syndicate, and at length, one rainy day, a year ago, I got into a big blow up with my old man and ran away. I'd never felt as anxious before as I did then. I had nowhere to go and everyone on the street just walked past as if they couldn't even see me. Then, Little Lord...you're exactly the sort of person I thought you were when I first saw you. Afterwards when I went to join the Kasanoda Syndicate you accepted me with kindness. I know Little Lord that you're more self conscious and awkward than most people, and yet, you're warmer than most people. And it's not just me. Everyone in the Syndicate knows. They just don't say anything knowing that it would embarrass you.' The boy smiled at his friend, a faint blush colouring his cheeks. 'I, Tetsuya Sendo, wished to be someone like you Little Lord, so I cut myself off from the Sendo Syndicate and consigned myself to make my home in the Kasanoda Syndicate. Please allow me to remain at your side from here on out as well Little Lord.' He paused and reached into his pockets and held out an umbrella. 'Ah right...Here the weather is turning bad and we don't want you getting wet. If our 4th was to get a cold everyone would worry.'
'You guys...alright I will use it then.'
'Right.'
'What a great story!' Sobbed the twins. 'I'm touched!'
'Oh I should apologise to Fujioka, it's because of me that he got paint all over him.' Kasanoda-kun spun around as if looking for the missing host.
'Haru-chan went back to the club room to get changed.' Volunteered Honey-senpai.
'Ok, I'll be right back.' Kasanoda-kun then dashed off towards the school building.
'Little Lord,' Tetsuya-kun called after him. 'Let's play kick the can later!'
'Yeah!'
'We've done a good thing here.' Tamaki-senpai congratulated himself.
'Sir, you didn't really do anything this time, did you?' The twins pointed out.
'Aren't any of you concerned about Kasanoda-kun going to find Haruhi who is getting changed?' Kyoya asked.
I grinned at him. 'Ooo I wonder what might happen.'
Hikaru, Kaoru and Tamaki-senpai spun around to face us. 'What do you think is going to happen!?' I shrugged innocently and they all set off in a mad dash for the host club.
'I'd like to just go home but I suppose we better go after them huh?'
Kyoya pushed his glasses up his nose. 'I think that would be wise.'
Taking a shortcut that Kyoya had apparently learned from the school floor plan we managed to reach the Host Club about a minute after the others. We entered in time to see the twins leering over Kasanoda-kun who was a dangerous shade of red and looked like he was struggling to keep his legs beneath him. 'Did you see!?' They demanded.
'You saw didn't you Bossa Nova-chi!?'
'I-I didn't look! No, I did get a glance, no it was just for a second so I didn't look! No, I did see what I saw...but I wasn't looking!'
'I think that people who can't make up their minds are scum.' Honey-senpai muttered darkly.
'Ahh! The way the lovely item says that makes it sound so scary!...So Fujioka is really a girl?'
The twins shared an innocent look. 'It appears he has discovered Haruhi's secret.'
'That's no good huh?'
'What did you see?'
'How much of Haruhi's soft maiden skin, unknown to us, have you seen?'
'Uh...Ah...well Fujioka was getting changed...so I saw her in her underwear...'
'You saw her in her underwear!?' This was not going well. Kaoru and Hikaru were becoming more enraged by the second and Tamaki-senpai seemed to be having a breakdown in the corner, switching rapidly from objective horror to vacant staring and back again.
'What do we do?' Hikaru demanded.
'There are no two ways about it. First thing we have to do is clobber him and make him lose his memory.'
'Kyoya,' I hissed. 'We need to do something, this is getting out of hand.'
'Very well. Let me handle it.' And just like that, a polite smile plastered on his face, the shadow king stepped forwards. 'Now, now. Stop that, it's a lot of trouble to cover up a crime.' I pulled a face at him, that was not what I'd had in mind.
'Kyoya-senpai! How can you be so calm?' Hikaru demanded swinging his bat around. 'His highness is in such great shock, he's a mere husk of himself!'
Kyoya pushed his glasses up his nose. 'Well now that the secret is out, we'll just have to discuss this. Kasanoda-kun, Haruhi is pretending to be a boy as a result of circumstances. Of course you are free to talk to whomever you like about whatever you like, but you should at least remember this. Being a son of one of those sorts of families, you must have heard a number of rumours. If you make enemies of the Ootori family, the Ootori private police force, known in Japan's economic circles as the Black Onion Squad, will be mobilised. Such is a situation that...well we'd clearly like to avoid that right?'
Kasanoda-kun stared at the older student clearly surprised at the flagrant blackmail. 'This clearly isn't a discussion...' He muttered. At least a murder no longer seemed to be on the cards.
Just then Haruhi emerged from the dressing room. 'Hey! Please stop threatening Kasanoda-kun!' She turned to the boy in question. 'I'm sorry I startled you.'
'Fujioka...'
'You know it's alright if you tell others. I'm completely fine with it.' Kasanoda-kun was blushing horribly and apparently unable to speak.
'Oh, my. Bossa Nova-chi....' Hikaru gasped.
'Now that you know Haruhi is a girl are you in love with her?' Finished Kaoru.
That seemed to snap Tamaki-senpai out of his trance as he bared his teeth and narrowed his eyes, then lost the remainder of his sanity as his brain imploded.