They are back to Seoul, to their dorm. Jin wants to talk to Taehyung. Yet, every time there seems to be someone interrupting them. If one would ask Jin what he plans to say, he doesn't know. He really doesn't. He knows what happened in Osaka was in the heat of the moment. So, what should he ask of Taehyung?
Taehyung wants to confess to Jin. But he is held back by his fear of ruining his happiness. He is afraid to know that there really is someone else that Jin likes. As long as it is a mere speculation, he feels safe. To know that that it is real – he doesn't know if he can take it.
It is another day of hectic shoots and practices. Namjoon is talking to managers and trying to push Jimin to get into the bath.
"Hyung.", he calls out to Seokjin as soon as he steps in to the living room. "Can you please wake up V? Jungkook and he should stop playing all night."
Seokjin nods and walks to his room. Taehyung, a 22-year old, almost as tall as him, looks like a harmless baby curled up between the sheets. He taps him awake but in vain.
"Taehyung-ie! Jimin is also ready. You don't want to be the only one who gets late.", Jin says. He knows no one wants the reputation of being the late-one and to take that away from Jimin is embarrassing.
It works, Taehyung opens his eyes and rubs them.
Jin jabs in his stomach, "Wake up now. Joon is already on the edge."
Taehyung pouts but doesn't move.
Jin doesn't even realize when his body moves and jumps into the bed. It is the easiest way to wake Taehyung up – to jump into bed with him. It happens almost involuntarily because he has been doing that for a long time now.
Taehyung seems surprised for a second before he nuzzles his head into Jin's chest. Jin pulls him closer, "Wake up. Yoongi will make breakfast. If you aren't there, he won't give you any."
That makes Taehyung to sit up and get out of his bed and leave to the bathroom. Jin doesn't though. He revels in the residual warmth of Taehyung, in the woody, rainy, grass-like scent of his that lingers in the pillow, between the covers. He wraps his hand around the pillow, when something falls out.
It looks like an old paper, and Jin sighs, making a note to buy Taehyung a fresh set of papers or maybe a new notebook. He unfolds it and tries to soften the crinkles.
There are a lot of doodles on the edges – of aliens, of clouds, of what looks like the distorted face of a man. In the middle are a series of lines, cut off, scribbled off, and filled in so much that it makes it impossible to read. He tries to concentrate on the most continuous set of lines on the paper, and as he reads, his heart thuds faster against his chest.
He hears the door click and immediately hides the paper behind his back.
"Yoongi-hyung is asking you to come for breakfast.", Jungkook says. "Now."
Jin nods. As soon as Jungkook leaves, he folds the paper and pockets it.
....
It is Hoseok who notices it and Yoongi feels thankful that he is no longer the only one who notices a shift in the interaction between Taehyung and Jin.
"What's going on?", Hoseok mutters as he sits next to Yoongi. They've been practicing non-stop for their next performance at Seoul Stadium before his lovely Hope decides to give them a break.
They watch in silence as Taehyung chases Jin across the practice room, sometimes engulfing him in his arms and sometimes carrying him in his arms.
Jimin and Jungkook seem oblivious to this as they are playing a game of tag with Namjoon.
Yoongi can't hold it in anymore. He finally responds, "Hob-ah, Taehyung says he loves him."
"Still?", Hoseok asks, his eyes wide in wonder.
Yoongi shrugs.
"Did he tell Jin-hyung? Are they back together?", he asks him. But Yoongi doesn't know so he shrugs again.
Hoseok watches the maknaes now target Jin leaving Namjoon to settle in the opposite corner of the room.
"They are meant to be together, hyung.", Hoseok says. "Look at them. Their eyes don't even dart to Jiminie or Jungkookie."
Yoongi looks at him. He says, "You think so?"
Hoseok nods, "How much ever you fight, love finds its way. How much ever you hide, it'll show."
Yoongi knows he is talking about Taehyung and Jin, but he shifts uncomfortably because those words hit home. He turns to look at Hoseok, who is smiling softly at him.
"Does it show?", Yoongi whispers.
Hoseok chuckles, "Yes, hyung. It does."
"You know?", Yoongi asks. He isn't even sure if they are talking about the same thing.
Hoseok nods as he gets up, "For a very long time; maybe since the old eyeliner-phase of ours. And, I am thankful that I am not wrong. Am I?"
Heat creeps up Yoongi's cheeks. He shakes his head, "No."
"That is all I need to know.", Hoseok says as he gestures the others to take positions.
And, Yoongi feels a heavy weight, that he didn't know he was carrying, lift off his chest.
....
The album sales go amazingly well than their previous ones. Their songs begin to chart higher and the rush of a mix of excitement and nervousness has become a part of everyone's breath.
"Dinner party this Sunday!", Namjoon announces.
Jungkook settles between Jimin's legs. He thinks and asks, "Why not Saturday?"
"Taehyung-ie has to attend a premiere that night.", Yoongi says. "Also, we get to rest. If we celebrate immediately, our management calls it as an end to our mini-time-off."
Jimin rests his chin on Jungkook's shoulder. He smiles, "Our Taehyung-ie is so famous now."
Hoseok grins, "Our superstar."
Yoongi notices a soft smile grace Jin's face as they tease a blushing Taehyung. It might be too much to hope but Yoongi prays that everything goes back to normal.
....
Saturday evening, Yoongi is surprised to find Jin alone at home, distressed about something.
"Did you not go out with the others?", he asks as Jin sits cross-legged at the foot of his own bed.
Jin shakes his head and juts his chin at him.
"I was working at the studio. Are you okay? Assignments?", he asks as he puts down his bag.
Jin sighs, "I have to go out."
"Okay?", Yoongi asks, still unsure of what's bothering him.
"I don't know what to wear. He says it has to be formal but not necessarily way too formal.", Jin whines as he walks to his closet.
Yoongi freezes, "Who says?"
Jin looks at him with his doe eyes and Yoongi understands - Baekhyun.
"Hyung, are you – are you guys dating?", he asks.
Jin smiles sadly, "No. He wants to, but I told him that I can't."
"What about Taehyung-ie?", Yoongi presses. He feels uncomfortable discussing about these, but he can't help himself this time.
Jin goes through his clothes and says, "What about him?"
Yoongi doesn't reply – he assumes Taehyung didn't confess yet. He instead decides to apologize, "Hyung, I am sorry. I should've told you that I was leaving to Daegu."
Seokjin smiles, "It is okay."
Yoongi sighs, "I – I don't look forward to going home much – honestly, dorm feels more like home than my home."
Jin turns his attention to Yoongi. He says softly, "Yoongichi, it is fine."
Yoongi looks at Jin and smiles, "You are the most kind-hearted person I know. You will someday save the us all and bring world peace."
"Super Mario!", Jin exclaims in delight. Then, he blushes, "Thank you."
He then pulls out a maroon suit set and looks at Yoongi, "Is this okay?"
"Casual color but formal wear.", Yoongi says with his thumbs up.
Jin grins, "If it is too much, I can take off the blazer."
Yoongi pats him tenderly before he goes to his bed to catch some sleep, "Have fun."
....
Jin sits next to Baekhyun and decides happily that he is dressed as the same level of formal as the other guy.
"Where are we going?", Jin asks.
Baekhyun smiles, "You'll see. Jin – really, you look so handsome."
"I know.", Jin says as a learnt response and then blushes.
Fifteen minutes later, Jin realizes as he steps onto the red carpet and the lights flash at him. He automatically puts on his media-face and waves at them.
"We are at the premiere?", he asks a grinning Baekhyun.
"Yes. I know you'll love it.", he replies as he leads him to the theater.
....
Taehyung hugs Park Seo-Joon, congratulating him on the movie. The cameras flash and click when he starts to hear whispers.
Seo-Joon's manager mutters something and he chuckles.
"What is it?", Taehyung asks his friend.
"Baekhyun is here.", Seo-Joon says as he waves to Baekhyun.
Taehyung gasps. He is a fan of his work.
He looks past the flashing cameras to an approaching Baekhyun with a smile that falters and turns into a surprised face as he sees Jin walk next to him – Jin, who looks absolutely ethereal in a maroon suit with half-rimmed glasses. His Jin, who could throw all models out of their jobs by just breathing.
As Baekhyun and Seo-Joon exchange niceties, Jin waves at Taehyung.
"I didn't know I'd be here.", he says to a still surprised Taehyung. "If I'd known, we could've worn matching clothes."
Taehyung tries to find words, but nothing comes out. Because,
1. He is very taken aback by how beautiful Seokjin looks.
2. He is utterly confused as to why Seokjin is here with Baekhyun.
He is snapped out of his confusion as Seo-Joon drags him to the theater while Baekhyun and Jin trail behind them, together.
Taehyung can hardly concentrate on the movie. His eyes keep darting to Jin, who is sitting two rows ahead of them with Baekhyun.
The movie ends and the dinner party begins, and Taehyung can't spot Jin. He is worried that he left with Baekhyun and the thought alone makes him nauseous.
Thankfully, he spots Baekhyun in a conversation with Wooshik, which means Jin should still be here.
He jumps out of skin when Jin himself whispers in his ear, "Whom are you looking for?"
Taehyung turns back and breathes out, "Jinnie. Hyung, what are you doing here?"
"Baekhyun said we are going out and didn't give the details. I didn't know – ", Jin says and then he pauses, "Why aren't you eating?"
Taehyung fumbles for words, "I was waiting for you."
Jin smiles – the kind of smile that pushes his cheeks up and makes him look like the cutest hamster ever.
They walk together as they pick their food and Taehyung is glad that Jin isn't holding himself back. It was a sore eye for everyone to watch Jin eat nothing but chicken breasts for the last one year.
Needless to say, Taehyung entirely forgets about his friends as he eats with Jin – like they haven't had their lunch together or their breakfast together on the same day.
Only when Baekhyun finds Jin, do they snap out of their train of conversation.
"This is Taehyung.", Jin says smiling brightly.
The two of them exchange greetings before Baekhyun says, "Shall I drop you home?"
Taehyung stares at Jin, who shakes his head. He says, "We live in the same dorm. We can go together."
Baekhyun's smile dims a little. He rubs Jin's hand as he speaks, "It was nice spending time with you after a long time. Text me once you reach, alright?"
And, Tae's eyes do not miss the way his hand brushes Jin's.
....
It is easy. So easy for Baekhyun to know that Taehyung is VV. That is what bothers him. That it is so fucking easy. They didn't even have to announce to anyone that they liked each other – the love between them seemed to have built a bright bubble around them and Baekhyun realizes it is so much more than he has ever felt.
He then thinks about the conversation he had with Wooshik – about another band that got dissolved, about another artist who had been denied work because of questions about his sexuality, about another band, one of whose members had been jailed, about another Idol who fell down the flight of fame because of one mistake.
Baekhyun's hand grips harder around his glass of wine. With most of his own band members leaving for military, he has to try more than ever to maintain his career, to maintain his reputation. And, with what the managers are whispering, with what the management is planning, he wonders if his whole fairy tale idea of being in love with Seokjin is feasible.
He wonders if to gain him, he would lose everything he had spent his whole life working for.
....
Jin rests his head on Taehyung's shoulder in the car on their way back to the dorm.
It is Taehyung who decides to break the silence, "Hyung. Can I ask you something?"
Jin hums.
"Are you together?", he says, his voice hardly a whisper.
Jin doesn't answer instead he asks, "Do we look like we are together?"
Taehyung shivers, "He looks at you the way I look at you."
Jin smiles as he sits up straight to look at him. He says, "Does he?"
"He touches you like I do.", Taehyung says, his voice unsteady.
Jin sighs, "We are not together."
"But he – "
"He wants more. I told him I can't. Yet.", Jin says as he brushes away a stray tear that slips out of Taehyung's eyes.
"Why?", Taehyung asks. "Why can't you date him?"
Jin tilts his head, "Do you want me to?"
His old Taehyung would yell, argue, complain. He would go to Jimin and ignore Jin for at least a week. But this one shakes his head. He says, "No. But if you want to, you should. Don't stop yourself because of me."
And, Jin melts – in that one moment he feels happy that Taehyung has learnt to grow too.
"I don't know what I want. He wants more than just being friends. But I am afraid -", Jin replies as he rubs the other's cheek with his thumb.
Taehyung sniffles, "Is it because I hurt you? Not everyone will hurt you, hyung. He might not hurt you. He might care for you more than I ever did."
"No, my VV, it is because I still love you.", Jin smiles. There is no malice or hurt in his voice. He states it like it is a plain fact like the sun rises in the east or like the Spanish anthem has no words.
Taehyung finally manages to look at Jin in his eyes and his voice breaks as he whispers, "I love you too. So much, hyung."
Jin nods, "I know. I just – we can't go back like nothing happened. I need time, I need - "
Taehyung leans his head on his shoulder, "It is okay. Hyung, I can wait my whole life for you. I won't run away from you ever again. I have been lost enough to know that you are my home."
Jin coos, "Aigoo, my VV has grown up so much."
Taehyung feels flustered as he rests his head on Jin's shoulders. He still feels like he doesn't deserve Jin's forgiveness, but he promises to make himself worth his love.
....
-----------------------------------------
In case you are wondering what is wrong with Taejin, why can't they just get back together - if you've ever experienced break-up, you'd know you can't just go back like nothing happened. The pain persists and it takes time to heal and that doesn't happen overnight.
I know it is fictional and in all my other books, the angst hardly lasts for a chapter or two. But in real life, angst settles down and gets stuck to the corners of your heart and it takes months before you can scrape it off.
Love.
❤