Original request by lovetoreadbts
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The list of things that had happened to Namjoon were long. Among the chaos and confusion, one truth became obvious.
Namjoon would never walk again.
His spine had broke when one of the ceiling beams had fell on him. He was lucky to have survived.
Yoongi saw him a few days after the incident had occurred. Stitches and casts littered Namjoon's body. His legs were bent out of shape, probably never to return to their original shape and form. His dimples wouldn't show up as prominently as before now that there were large cuts on his face that would leave scars.
Yoongi thought he knew what sadness was. But this... this hurt more than anything he had ever felt before. This sadness was deep, coming from inside. The young rapper he had met so long ago, his leader who had fought for their group to exist, the person who Yoongi could talk to anything about was fighting for his life. The rapper knew, he knew so damn well that it could be worse. Namjoon could've died straight away. Namjoon was alive, that's what mattered. Yoongi knew that.
But maybe Namjoon was better off dead than alive like this, struggling and gasping to survive as his lungs strained to get in air.
Yoongi could feel his angry tears crawl down his face as the hospital staff pulled him away after visiting hours ended.
He wanted to stay with Namjoon. He wanted to hold his hand and dry his tears. Yoongi didn't want Namjoon to be alone, he wanted to sit by his side and soothe him.
But rules were rules. And the rules were that no visitors were allowed to stay after 8 pm.
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Hoseok got to his feet to open the front door. The doorbell had just rung and the dancer was the only one who was even capable of getting up.
Bang PD had arranged all of them to get a temporary dorm, one that looked nothing like their old one. The members hated it. None of their old things had survived the blast and they felt like they were alive with no purpose. Namjoon was still fighting for his life, and they couldn't do anything to help him.
The place they stayed at was much smaller as well. There were only two bedrooms, one bathroom, a tiny kitchen and a living/dining room area. Yoongi, Jin and Jimin took one room and Hoseok, Jungkook and Taehyung took up the other. They only had mattresses to sleep on, their beds having long gone.
The feeling in the "dorms" was empty. Nobody dared to talk, except the soft reassuring whispers that were said when somebody burst into tears.
Jungkook spent most of his time on his phone. Jin knew him well enough to know that was the way the maknae hid his emotions.
Yoongi didn't talk to anybody. He neither cried nor ate. It seemed like he had ran into a brick wall and now had no idea where to go. His eyes were blank. Every day, he left early to sit beside Namjoon's still body, hold his hand and stroke his face. Those were the only times that Yoongi talked - to Namjoon. The rapper rambled about all of the world's problems and how their whole life had been flipped upside down, to the leader.
Jimin and Taehyung were the most openly emotional. They had nightmares most nights and Hoseok and Jin had to calm them down. Both of the '95 liners hadn't visited Namjoon, something that Yoongi had screamed at them about.
"Don't you guys care about him?!" the rapper had burst out.
That hadn't been a good day.
Jin, the eldest, thought differently. He knew that Namjoon would never be able to walk again, but he knew Namjoon would recover, still be that goofy dork who they all knew. Jin thanked the heavens that the leader was alive. Though he tried his best to stay positive, he broke down often, realizing the true impact of how much pain the leader would go through.
Hoseok tried not to think at all. His emotions had gotten jammed. Sometimes in the middle of the night, he left the building to go for a walk. The bridge was nearby where they stayed and often he leaned over, catching glimpses of the river underneath, at the small boats that floated on it. He didn't care if he slipped, he felt too empty to feel anything. Just seeing Namjoon in pain, left him shaking and scared. What if Namjoon cut off ties with them, what if he yelled at them for not protecting him? Hoseok wanted to give him a big hug right now.
But he kept himself intact, the others were too shaken to even think of taking care of themselves. So Hoseok took it upon himself to cook, clean, do anything so the emptiness didn't swallow him whole. His cooking wasn't the best, but he tried. When Yoongi refused to eat, the dancer sat in front of him and begged. Most times nothing worked. But Hoseok kept trying.
Those mundane tasks of the household were keeping him afloat just like those small boats in the river. He knew that one day he would break completely, but he didn't think about that.
So now as he reached out to open the door, he knew that he was doing it so he could stay on the surface for longer.
"Hi, this was ordered by you," a delivery girl grinned and held out a big bag. It was obvious from the package that it was a huge plushie. Hoseok had definitely not ordered that.
"Uhh... okay thanks," Hoseok said. He bowed while taking the package. The door closed again.
"Did you guys order this?" he said as he walked into the bedroom where everybody else was, except Yoongi and Jin who were with Namjoon.
Jungkook glanced up from his phone, something he rarely did these days, and the faintest hint of a smile crossed his face.
"Yeah I did."
Hoseok raised his eyebrow. He couldn't understand why Jungkook would buy himself a giant plushie.
Jimin raised his head, looking tiredly at the two. His voice cracked as he spoke, "Why did you buy something like that in a time like this?"
The maknae got up to take the bag from Hoseok's hands. He opened it to reveal a big Koya plushie, something that he had bought so Namjoon could maybe be happy when he woke up. Jungkook held it up so the others could see.
Hoseok couldn't see straight. The bright blue colour of Koya was making it hard to see. Jimin had burst into tears. The dancer needed to go and comfort him.
"I bought it for hyung, so maybe he could smile when he woke up," Jungkook said shyly. "I want him to smile."
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Yoongi kept stroking Namjoon's face. He felt terrible that the others weren't coming to visit him, the maknae line refused and so did Hoseok. The rapper didn't understand why. Namjoon needed all the love he could get right now.
Jin sat behind him. He sometimes looked at Namjoon's face, but most of the time, he navigated the maze of his thoughts.
It really was a miracle.
Yoongi squeezed Namjoon's hand tightly, just like he always did, but this time something must have clicked in the leader. His eyelids fluttered, and suddenly he was blinking and blinking, trying to balance the amount of light that entered through his eyes.
"He's-he's-" Yoongi stuttered. The rapper, who had been talking perfectly fine a minute earlier, was incapable of speech now.
Jin leaned over to see. A small giggle came out of his mouth as he saw Namjoon look back at him with wide eyes.
"He's awake..." Yoongi muttered. He stroked Namjoon's face again.
"I'll call the others-" Jin said. He stepped out of the room to make the call.
Yoongi sighed softly as he kept his eyes on Namjoon. The leader looked a bit overwhelmed as his eyes nervously flitted around, taking in the hospital room, machines and IV line. He had never seen Yoongi cry so hard, as he did now, when the rapper looked away and sobbed in relief.
"I'm so glad you're okay, you know- I was so worried... You'll get better quickly Joonie and soon-"
"Yoongi, I-I..." Namjoon's voice broke off and a lone tear slid down his cheeks. He didn't bother using the honorifics.
Yoongi gasped slightly, nodding. His hands shook as he reached out to touch Namjoon's nose again. "What is it?"
"I-I can't feel my legs..."
That really shook up Yoongi and he grasped onto Namjoon's hand as he tried to steady himself. His breath came out in short gasps, his eyes wide.
"What's wrong with me? Why can't I feel my legs?" Namjoon repeated. His eyes filled up with tears. "Why can't I feel my legs?"
Yoongi was at a loss for words. He could only cry as Namjoon asked again and again, the younger's voice starting to become desperate.
"Will I be able to feel my legs again? Will I? Yoongi... hyung, when can I feel my legs again? I want to walk..."
Namjoon's eyes widened when he heard Yoongi let out a strangled sob. "Did I-I say something wrong? I did-didn't mean to."
Taking a deep breath, the rapper said, "No, you did nothing. Nothing wrong. You did nothing wrong."
"They're coming soon," Jin said from the doorway. He looked confused to see the two crying. "What's going on?"
"Jin hyung, I can't move my legs," Namjoon said weakly. "Help me please."
"Joon I-" the eldest's face fell. It took a while for him to be able to straighten out his shoulders and even once he did, it was easy to tell that his smile was forced. He went and took a seat beside Namjoon's bed. "Don't worry about that right now. We have lots of... uh, celebrating to do now since you're awake."
Namjoon nodded. His eyes lit up. "What kind of celebrating?"
"You know, presents, karaoke, cake, jokes, laughing, basically everything that you like! It'll be so fun! We can-"
"Can we do those dance games as well hyung? Hobi said I'm getting better at dancing! Yoongi, when can I walk again?"
Jin's composure faded. Yoongi glanced at him with teary eyes.
"What?" Namjoon asked, his eyes big and questioning. "I want to do those dance games. I know that I'm not a great dancer-"
Yoongi interrupted him, "No, no you're great at it."
The leader beamed, his dimples showing up on his face. The cuts on his cheeks made Yoongi shudder again. "When hyung, when?"
"Surprise!"
Jin whipped his head around to see the three maknaes waving from the doorway. Jungkook had a massive Koya plushie in his arms, and he waddled forward to place it on Namjoon's lap. He smiled his bunny smile as the leader blinked in confusion.
Jimin and Taehyung hesitated, it was their first time seeing Namjoon in this condition, and they were a little nervous. Their leader didn't look the same.
Hoseok was there, but behind all the others. He closed his eyes tight, begging that Namjoon would not realize the true predicament he was in. The dancer didn't want to see anybody else cry today, especially the person who they had all cried for.
"Do you like it hyung?" Jungkook said. He giggled lightly as Namjoon smiled. "I got it for you!"
"But-but why did you get it?" Namjoon suddenly asked. "Why-"
"It's a present, idiot!" Yoongi said. He wiped his face with his hand. He was about to slap Namjoon's thigh jokingly, but then he remembered that the leader wouldn't be able to feel anything.
Namjoon giggled. His face lit up as he laughed. For all of them, it was so refreshing to see him again.
"But Yoongi hyung, you didn't answer me," he said after a moments giggling. "when can I walk again?"
"You'll have to ask somebody else, I don't really know," the rapper said. He didn't want to be the one to tell him.
Jungkook sighed. He didn't want to see Namjoon cry.
But somebody had to tell him the truth, or else Namjoon would get false hope.
"Rap Mon hyung," he started. He watched as Namjoon blinked at him. "You're never going to walk again."
A beat of silence passed before it was broken again.
"It's fine." Namjoon grinned shyly. "I can still chase all of you in my wheelchair." he looked at Jin. "Can I get a pink one?"
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requests are open-
this was late, im sorry
note - im not saying that disabilities = a horrible life. this story is purely fiction, and just my imagination of how the members would react. im sorry if this offends anybody. anybody can have a great life, regardless of disabilities.
2098 words