Jahlil POV
4 MONTHS LATER
I've been pretty messed up over these past few months. Everything just seems so unreal.
I haven't told Malachi yet but I've been secretly cutting again.
Not enough to do any damage but enough to make me forget or a second.
I just feel so lost. So guilty.
I never gave her a chance to explain.
All because I'm selfish.
Im currently sitting on our bed on my laptop waiting for him to put Messiah to sleep.
He's had a cold recently and wasn't letting us forget it.
(About 30 min later when Malachi's done with Messiah.)
"Hey baby." He smiles entering our room.
I give him a slight nod going back what I was doing.
"So I've been thinking we could take the kids somewhere. Like a park or a place for little babies I've seen some onli-I don't think I'm really up to it." I cut him off.
"And why not?" He raises a brow.
He can't be serious right now.
"Jahlil everyone grieves in different ways but it's been months and we haven't done anything with the twins since what happened." He tries to reason.
"Funny you'd say that." I snicker unamused.
"What's that supposed to mean?" He asks seriously.
"It means you've never liked her. You're probably happy she's gone." I roll my eyes.
"What the hell Jahlil?" He whisper yells. Mindful of Messiah not waking up.
"I know what it's like to lose a parent and I love you to much to ever wish that on you!" He continues.
"Yea well she'd still be here if it wasn't for you!" I yell suddenly.
He looks taken back.
"What?"
"Yea! If it wasn't for you and the fucking kids then i wouldn't have lost my relationship with her!!" I shout with tears streaming down my eyes.
"Baby you don't mean that." He says more to himself.
"Yes I do. I hate you. You're the worst thing that's ever happened to me!" I say with venom laced in my voice causing him to give me a look of shock and hurt.
He breathes in before speaking.
"I'm gonna wait til my baby's born because I care about what happens to them and you while your pregnant. And once you give birth you can leave or me and my 'fucking kids' can leave." He says calmly before getting up and walking out.
I immediately break down and start sobbing.
What have I done?
(The next morning)
I wake up to the smell of breakfast being made making me smile.
I get up and head to the kitchen to see Malachi shirtless making food.
He glances at me before going back to what he was doing.
He was making my favorite.
A bacon, sausage, and cheese omelette.
"I-is that for me?" I ask softly.
He just sets it down in front of me along with orange juice and my vitamins.
He then walks away.
Malachi POV
Im outside smoking a blunt tryna forget for a minute.
Some might think I'm being cold but what am I supposed to do?
The love of my life told me he hates me and that I'm the worst thing to ever happen to him. Including my kids?
I love Jahlil with all my heart but my kids are my world.
I think about them when I wake up and even when I'm asleep. And for Jahlil to refer to them as if their a burden just don't sit right with me.
I get what he's going through. When I lost my dad I was closed off and cold but I never blamed anyone else i just kept to myself.
It's fine though. I see that he obviously said what he said to hurt me but it's whatever. If he wants to mess up this family that's on him.
Me and my kids gone be good regardless.
I put out the blunt and head back inside and go upstairs.
I decided I should move my clothes and stuff to the guest room today so I didn't have to be around Jahlil right now.
Once I'm done I go check on my babies.
Messiah is hugged up with his bear while Mel is smacking hers.
She gone be a little fighter just like her daddy.
Meanwhile i can already tell imma have to beat a nigga ass over my baby boy.
Their baby brother most definitely gone be the 'big' sibling. Jahlil bout the same size he was with them around this time. Fat ass nigga.
"Hey mama why you hitting the bear?" She just looks up and make grab hands at me.
"Hey daddy baby." I bounce her slightly.
"Me and mama got in a fight today. I don't think we'll all be together soon. But daddy loves you and your brother very much and we always gone be okay. Even when baby brother comes." I whisper rocking her.
I know she can't understand me it just feels good to say it.
If it comes down to it and I have to be a parent by myself with three kids then so be it.
Jahlil obviously has some things he needs to work out. And he doesn't seem to want my help so I'll let him figure that out. But I won't let my kids suffer. Because of it.
My mom did that. Of course she loved me and made sure I knew it but she disregarded my mental health for the sake of her husband who isn't even helpful. Just dead weight.
In her hopes to help him she abandoned me.
I made a promise to never put my kids through that the day they were born. And I'm gonna stick to it.
If I have to chose between Jahlil and my kids it's gonna be my kids.
Call me a bad person but I'm a father first. I love Jahlil more than he'll ever know but he's still my boyfriend bottom line. And I'm not losing my kids over something that might not be forever.
Especially after what he said.
We've been through some pretty bad arguments but I've never told him i hate him or that he ruined my life because it would be a lie.
Of course I still love Jahlil. He gave me my twins and my son that's coming. He'll always have a place in my heart. He just might not always have a place in my life. And after what he said last night.
I hate to say it but.......
Im okay with that.
Hellooooooo bitchessssss!!!!! It's been a minute I've beben struggling so bad with writing lately but things been going too good for too long sooo I hadda tug on ya hearts a little sorryyyyy.
But anywhooooo.
I got questions......
How y'all feel about................?
Jahlil cutting?
Jahlil feeling guilty?
Jahlil telling Malachi that he hates him?
Jahlil blaming Malachi and the Kids for him and his mothers relationship failing.
Malachi distancing himself from Jahlil.
Malachi telling Jahlil that he and the kids can leave?
Malachi being okay without Jahlil?
The low key gender reveal🤣?
Please remember to comment so that I can know how y'all feel about the plot and the overall characters.
TANKUUUU 💖💖💖