Hardin
I guess if I am being honest I have been lying to myself since that night at that party where I was handed that drink.
I knew why I wanted to drink it and it's been weeks now And I have been dodging the calls. I listened to a voicemail last night before going out with Jace. And that didn't help any of my choices I have made in the past 24 hours.
I tried shutting it off and acting like it wasn't true. I guess I cheated death once why did I think I could do it again.
I sat quiet in the car. I could tell how fed up she was with me. I wanted to try to save any chance I had left but when reality resurfaced I realized that I would be leaving her again and that wasn't fair so I said basically nothing.
Should I have told her...maybe. But I haven't even allowed myself to believe it.
I get to Vances and I expect Tessa to walk in with me she doesn't so I get out and she leaves. We still said nothing. This surprises me.
I walk up to the door and he opens it before I can. I walk in and sit at the kitchen island.
He doesn't ware any time..
"I talked to your mom." Says Vance.
"Okay?...." I reply.
"She told me what's going on. And she's worried about you." Says Vance.
"I'm fine." I say.
I know I'm not fine and he now knows I'm not fine. But I'm not ready to deal with this.
" You need to see a doctor here Hardin you can't keep putting it off." Vance says.
" I don't need you telling me what I need to do for myself." I reply.
"Hardin you have stage 4 lymphoma you need to be treating it and pretending you don't have it isn't going to make it go away. You will die if you do nothing." He says.
Hearing it out loud again brings me back to the moment I found out. I was feeling really fatigued for a while, I was constantly out of breath and had no appetite. So I went to my doctor and they ran a lot of tests. A couple days later he called me back and said I had to come in and to bring someone with me. I brought my mom.
I remember her sobbing uncontrollably and the doctor just talked and rambled off a lot of statistics and everything we're going to do to treat it and said I have a really good shot but I needed to start treatment immediately. I knew I was heading back to the states and I wanted to feel normal again one last time. I told my doctor I would start treatment when I got back and that was why I was going to leave right away after the wedding.
"You can't tell anyone okay." I say to Vance.
"Hardin I'm not going to let you do nothing." He replies.
"I will go see a doctor...it's not like I can leave." I say.
"I am sure they would work with you if they knew your medical issues" he says.
"Just promise me you won't say anything to anyone." I say.
"If you promise me you go see a doctor tomorrow." He says.
"Fine." I reply and grab my phone and walk into the living room and plop on the couch. Before I know it I am fast asleep.