"ITS NOT WHAT YOU THINK IT IS I SWEAR" the man yelled, "I DONT FUCKING KNOW YOURE DRAGGING Y/N OUT AS IF YOURE TRYING TO BURY HER BODY OR SOME SHIT" i yelled back and jisung tried taking y/n from my arms but i just held her tighter. "hyung, if you punch him you could drop y/n—" chan was about to say until i shushed him and went closer to him. "SHE ISNT EVEN FUCKING DEAD ARE YOU PLANNING TO BURY HER ALIVE YOU SICK FUCK?" i yelled, "I FELT BAD OKAY? I WANTED TO PUT HER BACK WHERE I FOUND HER, YOU THINK I WANTED TO WORK FOR MR. BAEK? YOU THINK I WANT TO KILL HER?" the worker yelled while breathing heavily in frustration. "take her and leave, don't tell anyone i gave her to you" he sighed while walking away.
"y/n are you okay?" jisung approached, "i dont know jisung, she's clearly passed out and none of us are sure if she's going to wake up. is she okay?" i rolled my eyes and jisung put his head down, "jisung wait—" i said lending my hand out trying to stop him and grabbed his wrist. "jisung, are you okay?" i asked with y/n still in my arms, "y/n it's all my fault i'm sorry" he said while tears started forming in his eyes. "why do you feel like it's your fault sungie?" i asked as i held his hand and sat down on the floor with him while y/n was on my lap,
"i'm sorry i doubted you y/n, if i wasnt so gullible i would've been able to help her. we've been classmates since primary school but i let a stupid rumor get to my head. and the fact she knew i was better than that" jisung kept his head down looking even more guilty. "jisung its okay--" i was about to say until he cut me off "no it isnt" he sighed.
(flashback in jisung's pov)
(y/n is 160 cm and jisung is 157 for the purpose of this part)
"Y/N-AH DID YOU SEE MY SONG ON YOUTUBE IT GOT 1K VIEWS" i yelled in her ears and she looked at me with more annoyance than ever, "the one where you said fuck like 20 times?" she scoffed and i started whining. "aren't you proud of me?" i looked up at y/n and she ruffled my hair, "y/n you know im older than you right?" i said sulking. "well first off, you're short and second of all, you act like your younger than me" she teased, "ONLY BY 3 CENTIMETERS" i yelled "yea whatever shorty" she said while walking away.
later that day i realized she was the one who spread the word about it and went to thank her, and i'll never forget what she said to me
"no need to thank me, you have potential jisung and others need to hear it. and i know for sure you're better than this"
(y/n's pov)
am i dead? this cant be, i can hear the guys talking but i cant get up. i being pulled into this darkness and it keeps on drowning me. i cant breathe this stale air, i want to get out. out of this mess, out of this darkness, out of this world where i cant cause trouble for anyone. whats the purpose of life? the purpose of my existence, the purpose of this emptiness i feel even though i have countless thoughts inside my head. by thoughts i mean voices, the voices of these demons. the demons that constantly tell me i'm never enough, the demons that tell me i was a mistake, the demons beside me yelling all of those thoughts, their constant nagging whilst feeding off my sufferings and the burden i'm carrying. as much as i want to deny everything theyre saying i cant help but believe it and accept it.
usually when people talk about accepting their demon or demons they mean theyve accepteed them since they make up for who a person truly is, in my case i accepted mine for who they are and thats what makes me, me. except its what those demons are, they stab knife like words to the wounds in my heart and i let them. those harsh words are who i am right? its been going on for so long so technically its who i am right? yeah, right. this is who i chose to be and i'm undeserving of anything. but why are the guys still trying? i may be unconscious but i can hear them mumbling as im trying to stay afloat in this ocean of darkness trying to pull me under and drown me.
i dont know how i managed to keep it up so high for this long, they would've dragged me down by now as my screams are mute and no one would be able to hear me...
until i heard a voice, the voice that gives motivation. the voice that will break me free from this.
"for changbin"
(a/n: this chapter is shorter than usual but dw i have stuff in mind :D)