Being head costume designer for the school's production of Heather's was good for Lexy. For a couple of hours every day, she could just throw herself into something that she really enjoyed and had a passion for.
Right now, there wasn't much else in Lexy's life that she could do just for fun. Every day since leaving the hospital had been the same.
Sleep, take medications, talk to new therapist, take Vegas for a walk, watch movies with Archie, repeat.
She didn't have a problem with it. She liked having order in her life again. But she did miss the way she used to be.
Not the repressed version of her or the druggie version of her, but the version of her that wasn't put on the ventilator. The version of her that didn't play G&G and commit unforgivable crimes. The version of her that didn't almost die more times than anyone knew. The version of her that didn't have PTSD and had to avoid doing certain things that might make her spiral.
"I changed my mind, I don't want to do this."
"Lex, you are the one who was determined to be back in school for the musical. You can't just back out now." Archie quickly blocked her from taking another step away from the school.
"Well I can't walk in there with this thing!" She gestured to the plastic feeding tube on her face. "It makes me look like a sick girl."
"Nobody thinks you're a sick girl."
"You're right. I'm also a drug addict and a G&G freak and a criminal."
Archie immediately shushed her and pulled her to the side of the front steps, hoping nobody had been listening.
"Sorry!" Lexy whispered iritably.
"No one knows you did all of those things. And they've sort of died down by now so do not draw attention back to them."
"Sorry, my head just... it's still fuzzy. I forget what's a secret and what's not." Immediately after saying it, Lexy felt guilty for using what she had been through as an excuse. But according Ms. Tomkins, her new therapist, that wasn't a healthy mindset to be in. It was going to be hard for Lexy to deconstruct it after building it up for years but at this point, her soul focus was on getting better. Especially for the people she loved. The people she scared by putting herself in that situation in the first place.
Archie shook her out of her thoughts by placing his hands on her shoulders. "Just take things slow. You don't have to be in any rush to fix yourself up."
"Easier said then done, Arch." She sighed. "But can you do me one favour?"
Archie raised his brows.
"Can you act like my brother, not my security guard?"
She looked at her brother's fighting stance with a tender smile. Archie shook out his muscles. He wasn't sure who was more nervous, him or his sister. But nevertheless, he opened the oak doors and the pair entered the busy school hallway.
Not busy enough to make the Andrews siblings not stick out like sore thumbs however.
There was a time when everyone in the school assumed that Lexy was as good as dead. Technically they were wrong, but looking at the bony, pale, timid girl with a tube going from behind her ear into her nose, it seemed to everyone that maybe the Lexy Andrews they had known before the accident had in fact disappeared.
She made it a point not to make direct eye contact with anyone, something Lexy never used to do. Her style which used to be polished yet simultaneously daring was now replaced by muted tones on a loosely fitted shirt and jeans. Her previously full hair was pulled into a low ponytail making it look somewhat thinner.
"Remember everyone, it's not too late to sign up for a part in the chorus of Heathers!" Kevin's energetic tone relieved the tension as he placed a sign up sheet on the bulletin board.
"I should've known it would be this bad." Lexy mumbled as Archie ushered her through the crowd.
Since that first day back, everything had calmed down a lot. Not fully but a lot. Every now and then she would catch someone staring at her feeding tube, but that could only be expected. She didn't really blame them.
But that didn't mean it didn't feel bad either.
Sweetpea sat on the bleachers, gazing at Lexy from afar as she took up the hem of Betty's costume.
Something was different about her. Everyone saw it, but only the people who knew her really felt it. When she was high on fizzle rocks, there was still a little hint of that spark. The spark that made everyone love her in the first place. It was just burning in a different way.
The Lexy that was there now was like replacing a sparkler with a candle. She was reserved. Quiet. In big groups, she didn't say anything unless she needed to. She never tried to be the centre of attention.
That must have been the consequence of almost dying. As soon as she hit the water that day on Bartley Bridge, Sweetpea knew things were about to change.
And one question kept swirling around his head. Who was Sydney? And what happened to her?
Before he could think anymore about it, someone took a seat next to him but not too close.
"What do you want, Reggie?" Sweetpea grumbled.
Reggie wasn't surprised by his indifferent tone towards him anymore. "Your word."
Sweetpea shook his head to indicate that he didn't know what he meant. Reggie rolled his eyes.
"I need you to promise me that you won't tell Lexy about... how I feel about her."
"How you feel about her." Sweetpea repeated. "You mean how you decided you were in love with a girl you've known for years as soon as she gets a boyfriend?"
Reggie didn't even try defend himself. It wouldn't change Sweetpea's opinion about him.
"I'm not going to tell her. Never was. She deserves to hear it from you not me. But it's not like you'll ever have the balls to do it." Sweetpea said self-assuringly.
"Maybe." Reggie stood up. "But by the way, you should probably stop calling yourself her boyfriend. Last time I checked... you dumped her when things got hard."
The two boys made direct eye contact with each other and it was clear to Reggie that Sweetpea was barely fighting the urge to punch his face open. But that just proved him right.
***
The farm was hosting a cast party. A bit unusual considering traditionally cast parties weren't supposed to be until after the show. Lexy wasn't going to go. Parties weren't exactly her element anymore. But it was just the cast and crew, which mainly consisted of her friends. Nothing could really go wrong.
As everyone danced around in their costumes in the middle of the dungeon-like room, Lexy sat off to the side on a wooden bench chatting with Dana, who was part of the stage crew.
"Hey." A voice interrupted their conversation.
The girls turned to see who it was and when they saw, Dana made it a point to leave them alone.
"You look like you're having fun." Sweetpea said sarcastically as he slid into Dana's spot.
"Sure I am." Lexy said awkwardly.
"Very convincing."
They sat on the bench together for a good five minutes in silence. Lexy glanced over at Sweetpea who wore a thoughtful expression on his face.
"Something on your mind?" She asked, staring ahead of her again.
After a moment of hesitation he nodded his head. "Yeah, there is actually."
Lexy gestured for him to continue.
"I was just... I was wondering whether or not me and you were... still together?" He asked neevously.
She tried to hide her shock, but it was nearly impossible to stop her eyebrows from shooting upwards.
"You... you broke up with me, didn't you?" She finally stuttered out.
"I know I did but-"
"So then yeah, I guess we're still broken up."
She didn't understand. She didn't know how much he regretted breaking up with her. Maybe he didn't make that clear enough. Sweetpea knelt down in front of Lexy, which forced her to make eye contact with him.
"Lexy, you have to know how sorry I am. I was just... scared about what I was seeing. The person you were, it wasn't you. I thought that maybe giving you space and time with yourself would make things clearer for you. Maybe you'd realize that the road you were headed down would end with you being alone and then you'd be done with the game. But it pretty much did the opposite."
Lexy had a feeling she knew where this conversation was going... and she knew that she couldn't let it get there. "It's okay-"
"No it's not." Sweetpea cut her off. "But I promise that if you give me another chance I will never do it again. I'll never let you fall."
"I can't hear this right now." Lexy almost whispered.
"I want to be with you, Lexy." Sweetpea confessed.
"I mean it, Sweetpea, I can't hear this right now!" She shouted, standing up from the bench briskly exiting the room, drawing everyone's attention to Sweetpea.
She pushed through the curtains hanging over the doorframe. Archie and Josie were cuddled up in a windowsill down the hallway. When her brother noticed the alarmed look on his sister's face however, she immediately became his number one priority.
"Lex, what is it? What's wrong?" He asked, his voice etched with concern.
"I just- I need to get out of here. Please get me out of here." She held onto his arms.
He nodded and led her out of the former Sisters of Quiet Mercy building, taking Josie along with them as they traveled to the party together.
Once they were settled in the car and on the way to drop Josie home, Archie was the first to speak up.
"What happened back there?" He asked.
Lexy sighed. "Sweetpea told me he wanted to get back together."
Josie and Archie found themselves at a loss for words.
"And you don't want that?" Josie asked presumingly.
Lexy thought for a moment. "I don't have the capacity for it."
Archie nudged Josie slightly. She side glanced him and he discreetly shook his head for her to not ask any more questions.
The doctor said that being on the ventilator was traumatic for some patients, and it wasn't easy to talk about. Along with that, near-drowning was also one of the most traumatic ways of dying. They weren't supposed to talk about the drowning or the ventilator unless it was on Lexy's terms, otherwise it could be a trigger for her.
***
"So last night was big fun but now it's time to dig deep." Evelyn informed the main cast who sat on the bleachers around the stage. "So we're each gonna share something that we've never told anyone before, big or small."
Kevin and Fangs were the first to admit their secrets, which were that they both felt an overwhelming sense of guilt about what happened to Midge at the last musical.
"Wonderful. Who's next?" Evelyn asked.
Everyone glanced around to each other as they all waited for someone to break the silence. When no one did, Veronica shrugged her shoulders and stood up.
"I think my parents are splitting up." She said. "I mean, they told me they were and I've known their marriage has been on the rocks for a while now but... I don't know, I guess I'm still holding on to hope. If there even is any left."
Evelyn smiled and nodded approvingly.
"V, you didn't tell me any of this was going on." Betty pulled Veronica back onto the bleachers and placed an arm around her shoulders.
"Anyone else?" Evelyn asked.
Once again there was a long and uncomfortable silence but this time no one appeared to be caving in to Evelyn's exercise.
"What about you, Lexy?" The farm girl gestured towards the costume designer who's smile immediately dropped. "You trying to overcome your recent trauma must be difficult. You don't want to share the burden with the rest of us?"
People shot Evelyn disapproving looks which she promptly ignored as Lexy struggled to come up with an answer.
"I'm not really supposed to talk about it." She then said politely.
Just as Evelyn was about to push the subject further, she decided against it when she noticed something else. "Okay. Then how about you share with us the reason you're sitting on the opposite side of the room from your boyfriend?"
Everyone looked from Lexy to Sweetpea who sat on the bleachers on the other side of the stage.
"He's not her boyfriend." Reggie said when he realized that they were both staying silent. "He dumped her a few weeks back."
"Reg!" Archie nudged him for putting it so bluntly.
"Shut up, Mantle." Sweetpea warned.
Whenever Sweetpea knew he was in the wrong, he jumped straight to defence mode. But Reggie didn't care one bit.
"You know it's the truth. You try to play the role of the supportive boyfriend who's always there for his girl. But everyone seems to be forgetting that as soon as his relationship wasn't sunshine and rainbows anymore, he took off. And then a few weeks later he has the audacity to try get her back at some lame cast party?"
As Reggie ranted and raved, barely scraping the barrel on the amount of frustrations he had, Sweetpea was making his way down the bleachers.
"Keep talking, Mantle. But if you do then I have some things that I could say as well."
For the first time in a while, Sweetpea looked ready to kill. Last time most people had seen this was at the opening of La Bonne Nuit. Last time Archie and Reggie saw it was at the river when he found out Reggie was in love with Lexy. And the only reason he kept his cool last time was because Lexy was literally about to die.
"You're really gonna go there?" Reggie asked as he stalked towards him.
"If you're gonna try make me look bad then I might as well." Sweetpea shrugged.
"I know you won't say it. I'm calling your bluff."
"Bold move for someone who has more to lose than me. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe you're finally growing a pair-"
Before anyone could even attempt to decode whatever it was the two boys were talking about, Reggie swung his arm around, connecting his closed fist with the serpent's cheek.
Sweetpea felt disorientated for a second. There would definitely be a bruise there in the morning. He then responded with a hard uppercut to Reggie's chin sending him back a few steps.
And that was when all hell broke loose.
Reggie and Sweetpea were not holding anything back as they tried to tear each other apart limb for limb. Toni and Josie screamed at them to stop fighting. Fangs, Jughead and Archie attempted to wrestle the boys away from each other without getting caught in the action themselves.
Archie eventually yanked Reggie off of Sweetpea, putting space in between them.
The bulldog held his hands up innocently. "It's okay. I'm cool now. No need to hold me back, Arch."
Sweetpea glanced at his bleeding elbow as Reggie walked towards the wings of the stage... before turning around and pouncing at Sweetpea, letting the chaos ensue all over again.
This time, when the boys pulled the two grizzly bears away from each other, they made it a point not to let them go. When everyone had finally stopped shouting, the auditorium was filled with echoing footsteps.
The cast looked to the back of the hall to see Lexy exiting the building through the back door.
"Nice work." Toni scolded the two boys as she picked up the bag and made her way into the wings.
***
Lexy opened the front door to see Sweetpea and Reggie standing there. One second later and she had slammed it in their faces without saying a word.
The boys barged into the house anyway, not reading social cues at all as Lexy climbed her stairs.
"Come on, Little A-" Reggie said with a regretful tone to his voice.
"I didn't need that!" Lexy screamed over him.
The boys glanced to each other. Their faces were already bruising and Reggie's upper lip now had a red cut going through it.
"Didn't need what?" Sweetpea asked.
"You two, two of the people I care most about and who I thought cared about me, fighting with each other!"
"Of course we care about you-"
"Not enough to think about me before making a spectacle out of all the three of us. And what the hell were you two even fighting about anyway?"
That was the question Reggie had been praying she wouldn't ask. There was no way he or Sweetpea could reveal his feelings for her now while she was angrier than Cheryl Blossom when somebody else wore red lipstick.
Lexy scoffed when the two boys just shuffled around sheepishly. "Forget it. Keep your secrets! Wouldn't be the first time."
She continued the rest of the way up the stairs at a faster pace now.
"Lexy, we still have to talk about all this!" Sweetpea called after her.
"I said what I needed to." She shot back, following up with a slam of her bedroom door.
She flopped onto her bed, letting her head hanging over the bottom of it. Were things ever going to get easier? She thought that simply being off the ventilator would make everything go back to normal. But she was wrong.
About half an hour went by. Half an hour of Lexy willing herself to fall asleep. At least when she was asleep she could get away from all of this. A knock on her door forced her to get up.
Archie stood on the other side. "This was on the doorstep when I got home."
He raised his hand from behind his back.
An envelope.
An envelope with her name written in block capitals on the front of it.
She almost fell to her knees upon seeing it. These envelopes were the things that kept her playing G&G. Had this person not sent her these envelopes, she wouldn't have played the game, she wouldn't have turned to drugs and she wouldn't have almost died... multiple times.
But Archie didn't know any of that.
No one did.
Everyone thought they knew everything they needed to know about Lexy's accident. But they didn't. She had left out the big detail about the gargoyle who was influencing her into playing the game by sending her quests and writing her flattering letters so she would see them through.
And now he was back.
Lexy slowly took the envelope from him and sat back down on her bed. Her fingers were shaking as she opened the top of the envelope, which didn't go unnoticed by her brother. Archie sat next to her as she pulled a latter out of the brown packaging.
My dearest Lexy,
I was so sorry to see you're accident. But what an admirable quality to be willing to die for our king. A sign of a truly superior player.
Come back to the game, Lexy.
The king and I are still waiting for you.
"Lexy, what the hell is this?" Archie asked with a confused tone as he took the letter and read it through again.
Lexy felt her stomach turning and skin go ice cold as she read his words. He was waiting for her. She almost died and he thought it was admirable.
And now he wanted her to play again.
"Archie... There's something I haven't told you.."
A/N: Soooooo sorryyyyy for making you wait so long. I promise I'm not discontinuing the book or anything, this chapter just wasn't flowing the right way the first few times I wrote it so I had to do it over and over again who knows how many times before I was finally satisfied. ANYWAY it's here now so I hope you guys enjoyed. Keep voting and commenting, let me know your thoughts and predictions, and I'll see ya in the next chapter. Byeeeeeeee!!