C-56
"Fvck. It's tight."
"I-I can, mmn- manage."
I grip onto anything my hand can reach as the pain starts to grow. I breathe in and out in an attempt to ease the sting.
"Are you sure you can take it?"
Minho shuts his eyes when I nod. He bites his lower lip before starting.
"Tell me if it hurts too much."
We start to move as carefully as we could, but its gradually getting harder and harder. "I'm alright... just go slow- ah!"
"Shit." His eyes widen. "Was that not gentle enough?"
I bite my lip hard as the pain becomes unbearable. It hurts so much, like I'm being torn apart.
"Do you want me to stop?" Minho frowns in worry. "Is it too much? Did I hurt you that bad? What can I do?"
"It's o-okay..."
"But you're bleeding!"
He was about to stop and check, but I didn't let him. "N-No! Stop looking and just focus, please?"
"Fine." He groans when he sees no hesitation on my face.
Whispers of profanities leave him, everything around me blurring, eyes rolling back as sensitivity gives way to weakness.
"M-Minho... are we close?" I bite my lip to stifle the pained moans only to fail.
His jaw tightens, knuckles turning white with his tight grip, brows furrowed in concentration as adrenaline kicks in.
"I'll go faster, okay? Goddamn," he curses before speeding up. "Almost there..."
I grip on the car's backseat. Eyes shut closed and lips parted to catch my breath, the feeling of numbness seeps into my system.
"We're here." He sighs in relief when we both arrived, pulling over immediately and running to my side. He cups my face and makes me face him, eyes wide in concern. "Y/n, are you still with me?"
"Y-Yeah." I nod weakly and I see him relaxing a little through my half-lidded eyes.
Minho fumbles to unlock the tight seatbelt and helps me out. He scoops and carries me in his arms because my wobbly legs wouldn't let me walk.
"I'm sorry..." He looks so guilty as he apologises so softly, and my heart couldn't take it anymore. All the unfinished walls I put up comes crashing down.
It's not really his fault why the status of my injury deteriorated. I thought the weather was making me feel weird but it's probably because I moved around too much. Maybe pulling on the wrong hand when I picked 'or' from his options contributed a little, but it all comes down to me being a brat.
Minho was very gentle as he pulls me with him to the parking lot... but it was my left arm. My stitched and pitiful left arm. We only realised it when the sling turned red because of the blood seeping through and just like cartoon logic, I only felt the pain when I got aware of the stitches busting open. That's why he made the car fly to get me home.
"Why are you so hot?"
"Uh-huh..." I absentmindedly answer and rest my head on his shoulder, feeling like I'm under anaesthesia. Dazed, numb, weak.
"No, you're burning!" He kicks the gates to our house open and rushes me in.
My whole body seems to lose its consciousness as I hear the voices of my parents and Minho drifting off, my little cousin freaking out, dial tones with exchanges of technical terms, and then I blacked out.
ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ
Minho's POV
It's my first time inside her house and I already made her bleed. I really need to stop being so rough with her.
My phone rings as Chan calls.
"What?"
[ "Just informing you that we're almost done with the plan unless your ex-friends disagree. I'll ask Kun-hyung when they'll be free to discuss things with us so- wait a second... Car? Okay... Bin's asking if he can borrow your car." ]
"Just commute. I'm using it."
[ "His is getting cleaned so why don't you be a good boy and let the youngest borrow, hmm?" ]
I roll my eyes. "He doesn't even need to. Tell him to ask his mummy for a temp one."
I hear someone mumbling about uselessness in the background as Chan laughs. [ "Where are you anyway?" ]
"Y/n's." I sigh and push my hair back, leaning on the couch.
[ "What are you doing there?" ] I can almost sense the smirk on his face right now. [ "You guys made up?" ]
I pinch the bridge of my nose in stress. "I made her bleed."
[ "Already?! You're fast!" ]
My eyebrows furrow at his words. "What."
[ "You smooth guy! So did you just kiss and make up and everything's fine again?" ]
I massage my temples. I didn't know I could get more stressed than I already was.
"I mean literally."
[ "Yeah, I get it." ]
"No. Her cuts opened up."
[ "Ooh~ You're so forward!" ]
"This is why you're single as hell, Christopher Bang. I meant worsening her injury!"
[ "Oh! You should've said it clearly." ] He laughs, then he abruptly stops. [ "W-What? What did you do?! The fragile baby!" ]
"She's not your baby and you're not really helping me right now."
[ "Don't you know what handle with care means?" ]
"Bye."
[ "Oi-" ]
I bury my face in my hands to muffle a scream. I feel so bad right now. I had one job and I fail at it every time. I want to treat her in a way she deserves but I never do. I always end up hurting her. I really am her badboy for the lack of a better word.
"You oki?"
My head quirks up and I look at the boy on the other end of the couch staring at me questioningly. I almost got shocked because I didn't notice he already woke up. He got so mortified with all the blood on Y/n and fainted earlier.
"Sure," I reply.
He looks at me suspiciously while scratching Dori's back who's resting on his lap. "Are you anime?" he asks and I almost snort.
"No, I'm Minho."
"But blue hair?" He points to my head in wonder. It must be his first time seeing an unnatural hair colour in person.
I just shrug. "You must be the little five-year-old cousin."
He huffs. "I'm Yang Jeongin, I'm six now and I'm a big boy!"
"Okay then, six-year-old cousin."
"Better." My mouth gapes. Just then, he points his finger at me accusingly and points back to the phone he's holding, showing the wallpaper. "This you with my noona?"
"You think?" I almost rolled my eyes but then I remembered that I'm talking to a child even with all his guts. "Why are you using Y/n's phone?"
"Coz I can," he replies, and I suddenly realise that not all kids are cute. "So this you?" I nod and his face fell. "Why? Minnie-hyung looks better."
"Me?"
"No. You're Minmin and you're not dandy."
I take a deep breath, give him a fake smile and pretend that we didn't have that conversation. I was so tempted to mention his missing tooth and coconut haircut but I decided not to.
"Tss." He pouts. "She likes you so I should like you too, and she says you're her saviour. Are you a superhero? You look like a villain to me."
I gave him another fake smile. He might cry if I open my mouth.
He extends his tiny hand to me that I just stared at for a moment before forcing myself to return the handshake.
"Nice to meet you." He smiles like he didn't just show me all that audacity.
Our handshake is broken when Y/n's parents emerge with their family doctor. My whole attention diverts to them as I listen on how her condition is.
"There's a noticeable decrease in her RBC count, though not major, the effects is very visible as we can see. She also strained herself to the point that her body shutdown. She just came from an accident a week ago so her body is still very weak. She can recuperate at home, but I advise that you take her in for a full examination."
"Thank you, Doc. We'll send her to the hospital right away."
The doctor exits and I'm left standing here, guilt eating my whole system. I've caused every pain she's experiencing. It's all my fault why she's always hurting. If we didn't become friends then none of these mess would happen.
I look at her parents and bow. "I-I'm so sorry."
Her father pats my shoulder. "It's not your fault, son. A single pull won't kill her."
"No, sir. I meant I'm sorry for everything. None of these would happen if I didn't befriend her back then. I know I already have a bad reputation but she chose to stick with me and I should've stopped her-"
I stopped talking when her mother takes my hands with teary eyes.
"No... It's us who should apologise to you. We're at fault too. We judged you just because of what others said when in fact you're always the one saving her. We're sorry for trying to stop you from being friends with our daughter back then. We didn't realise how she's much happier and better with you around. We ruined everything. We're so sorry."
Fvck. Why is my heart beating so fast? I feel so warm all over.
"P-Please trust me this time." I clear my throat when my voice almost cracks. "I will fix this. I won't let Y/n get hurt anymore."
Her mother gives me an encouraging hug before they went back to arranging Y/n's things and calling the hospital.
That's it. I need to do something that I should've done a long time ago. I need to stop Y/n from hurting because of my shit. Not anymore.
"Hey, kid." I look at Jeongin who's busy putting stuff in his little backpack. "I need you to do something for your precious noona."
I'm going to end everything between us once and for all.
ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ
Y/n's POV
My eyes slowly open as the faint beeping sound awakes me. I feel lightheaded, like I'm floating in the clouds. My vision is a bit hazy as I look around the white room. I might really be floating in the clouds.
There's a faint rustling beside me and when I turn to look, I can vaguely see a boy with blue hair.
"Hey, stubborn girl."
"Minho?"
"Oh, no. Do I look as handsome as him now?" He chuckles.
"Jungwoo." I lift my hand to massage my temples because everything is so blurry.
He helps me sit up, then he gives me a bottle of water and I didn't realise how thirsty I am until I finish it all in one drinking.
"Feeling better?" he asks and I nod, vision clearing and breathing stable.
"Hospital again?"
"Yeah. I almost had a heart attack when your brother told me." He groans. "Can you please stop scaring me like that?"
I giggle a little at his attempt to lighten the mood. "I'm sorry."
"I'm the one who should apologise." Jungwoo turns serious and reaches for my hand and lightly squeezes it. "Sun- I mean Y/n, I'm so sorry. I know you've been hearing that nonstop and it probably annoys you, but I mean it."
I sigh and squeeze his hands back. I've been so hard on them and it's so unfair of me to not listen. Everyone makes mistakes and I'm not a perfect person to not give them the benefit of the doubt.
"Go on, explain."
"Really?"
"Really."
Jungwoo sighs in relief, smiling at me so widely with misty eyes. "T-Thank you..."
"It turns out hating on people is not my thing. It's so tiring."
He chuckles self-deprecatingly. "I actually deserve your hate. I've been really selfish. I only wanted you for myself when you're not mine to begin with. When Minho came in the picture, I got so jealous because your whole attention was on him. It's like you can't see me anymore. I thought it's because we're total opposites, and I wanted to be like him even just a little that's why I proposed that stupid gang idea... I didn't know it'd backfire."
"I'm sorry... I didn't know you felt that way."
"Don't be, you can do no wrong to me." He shakes his head and touches his forehead to my hand. "You can be angry. Shout at me, hurt me. I don't mind. All of the misunderstandings happened because I lied to your parents. I did it alone and the guys didn't know about that so can you please forgive them? Every bad thing was caused by me. I keep blaming Minho when in fact he's innocent. None of those are his fault... well, maybe a little."
My heart hurts as I listen to his explanation. Bad communication really makes everything so much harder.
"Jungwoo, do you want a hug?"
His eyes widen a little before eventually smiling and hugging me so gently. I pat his back soothingly like how a sister would comfort a little brother.
"I wish I could stop, rewind, and turn back time. I'll stop myself from being petty so no one would be suffering now. I'm really sorry, Y/n."
"I forgive you. Come to think of it, I was at fault too. I neglected you because I was too focused on Minho. You don't deserve someone like me. You deserve someone who'll appreciate you better."
I wipe the tears that was about to fall from his eyes, bringing his face closer to me as I plant a little kiss on his forehead. I hope it could comfort him a little because it always works with Jeongin.
"W-Wha- Why... I'm-"
"Is there something wrong?"
"Wow..." Jungwoo suddenly turns red. He blinks in daze before shaking his head as a smile grows on his lips. "Now I can't even be sad about getting rejected."
I tilt my head. "Rejected?"
"Nothing." He laughs. "You're so innocent, no wonder why we're not meant for each other."
"Minho says it's naïve, not innocent."
He smirks. "You miss someone, don't you?"
I avert my gaze. "Who says I miss Minho? It's not like I'm looking for him or anything!"
"Who says I'm talking about Minho?" he chuckles. "Not looking for him when he's the first person you thought of when you woke up?"
My face heats up. Well, maybe I do miss him a little. I look down sullenly. Actually, I miss him a lot. I'm such a hypocrite. I keep pushing him away but here I am, missing him so much.
"You know, he was here all night. He didn't leave until Chan-hyung dragged him out because he still had to go to school today." He points to where he's sitting. "Right here, holding your hand and waiting for you to wake up."
"Why are you telling me this? Don't you hate him?"
"Yeah, I do." He chuckles. "But it's because of his smug butt. I can see how good he is to you and I think he doesn't deserve the misery he's going through. You should listen to him, Y/n. Fix what you have to fix because I can see that you both like each other a lot and it'll be a waste if you just let him go like that."
"I know." I sigh. "I was such a brat to him that it makes me so embarrassed. What if I really did annoy him too much this time?"
"Nah. He's too whipped to get annoyed at you." He pats my shoulder.
"Do you know where he is?"
"Jeongin does."
Just then, the door opens and my family enter in. My brother went and ruffle my hair while Jeongin climbs on my bed and smiles brightly.
"You're so stubborn, sis. Why did you move around too much? I thought you're already pass the rebelling stage of teenage life?"
"Well, you took my meds!"
"Hehe, sorry."
"Sorry, the others can't visit because practice is hectic these days. They wish for you to get well soon though," Yuta says.
I return his smile. "Thank you for visiting me. Tell the guys that I'm alright... and I forgive you all."
"Thank you..." Yuta ruffles my hair and flashes one of his bright smiles.
"Alright? What lies!" Mum scoffs.
"Chill, mum. Don't strangle Y/n for her hardheadedness," my brother says. "We'll be going now before the company finds that we sneaked out."
"I'll stay."
My two older brothers just sigh when Jungwoo refuses to get up. "Just a few hours more... Okay then, get well!"
The two of them exits with my dad as he's going to drive them back. I'm left with my mother, Jungwoo, and Jeongin who keeps smiling at me.
"Mum, I'm sorry."
"You should take care of yourself more. What if Minho wasn't there to help you?"
Guilt eats me up as I remember how he did everything just to stop my bleeding and how he almost made the car fly just to get me home.
"You'll stay here until you're totally healed and you're not allowed to go out. Unless you want to wear a sling on your graduation day?"
"I understand." I nod at her sadly. I look over to Jeongin and I frown upon seeing his bright smile. "What's wrong with him?"
"I don't know. He's been like that since Minho talked to him yesterday." Mum gathers her things. "I have some business to attend to. Take care of my babies, Jungwoo."
Jungwoo salutes as she disappears behind the door.
I turn to the little boy suspiciously but he just cuddles Dori who he manages to bring with him every time.
"Is there something you want to tell noona?" Jungwoo asks for me.
"Did you eat brekky already?"
"Not yet. Why?"
"Did you take meds already?"
"Not yet. Why are you asking?"
"Then I won't tell. Minho-hyung says to make sure that you're well first before saying it." Jeongin shrugs and goes back to petting Dori.
"He still likes having things go his way, huh?" Jungwoo clicks his tongue. "It's okay, it's for you anyway. Just wait here and I'll get the food and meds ready."
My heart sinks. Minho really cares for me and I failed to see it. I let my feelings blind me and I fail to see how unfair I'm treating him.
Do I really deserve Minho?
ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ
I took a nap for a while to regain more strength because Jeongin insisted. I woke up due to a light tap from my little cousin, sitting up and taking some analgesic that the doctor gave.
"What is it, Innie?"
"You good now?"
"Well... I think so?"
"Yehet!" He beams like he just won the lottery, running and aggressively shaking a napping Jungwoo on the sofa. "I can tell you now but first he said wear something warm because it's a little cold there."
Jungwoo blinks for a bit before eventually gaining his consciousness and putting his hoodie over my shoulders.
"What else did Minho say?"
After hearing Minho's name, his smile widens. I didn't know he likes him that much.
"Minho-hyung says he'll wait for you at the roof garden."
"Oh please." Jungwoo murmurs. "Cheesy loser."
Oh no. My mother said to not leave this room until I'm healed... but maybe I can sneak out for one last time?
"Innie, you won't tell mum about this. I won't tell auntie about your sugar intake and I will buy you all the foods you want. I'll allow you to stay up 30 minutes more past your bedtime. You can use my Netflix account for the whole vacation nonstop and we'll watch cartoons all day. Are we clear?"
His eyes twinkle in delight before entwining his pinky with mine. "Promise!"
Jungwoo chuckles as he watches our transaction. He then crouches in front of me.
"Is it okay? I don't want you to strain your body. You still have practice later. Let's just get a wheelchair."
"I insist." He shakes his head with a little smile. "You know I worked out really hard just so I can give you a safe piggyback!"
"Really?"
"Really." He smiles at the ground. "Let me do this for you for one last time."
I ruffle his hair and hop on. I don't know how Jungwoo is able to run so fast with me secured on his back as I drag my IV stand behind us, but we managed to get away without any of the staff getting in our way.
We are almost out of breath when we reached the entrance to our destination.
"Can you walk on your own now?"
I nod and uses my IV stand for support. I twist the door handle.
"Y/n, wait."
"Hmm?" I look back to Jungwoo but he's looking down.
"I think he's planning to do something stupid today."
"What do you mean?"
"Nothing. Whatever it is, just don't let him."
"Okay... Thank you."
Jungwoo smiles and waves, watching me as I turn my back on him to go wherever Minho is.
I enter the roof garden and was thoroughly surprised. I didn't know there's a place like this here. Well, of course why would I know? It's a hospital and not a place to stroll around... but it's exactly what I'm doing. The cool wind greets me as I look around the deserted rooftop, trying to find a certain blue-haired boy. The sunset looks so pretty and calm but I'm nowhere near feeling that way. I feel antsy and I don't think I'll feel at ease until I see him.
"Are you blind?"
I bow to whoever I bumped with. "I'm sorry! I was looking for my... Minho?"
"You found me." He greets me with a smile. "I can see Jeongin followed my instructions well. Your cousin is kinda useful, I admit."
I don't know why I just stand and stare at him, watching his face that I deprived myself from seeing for so long.
"Are you ready to see me beg? You didn't clarify in what way though." Minho moves closer and tucks a stray hair behind my ear, fingers tingling my skin ever so lightly. "Would you listen if I got on my knees now? Just tell me what to do, Y/n. I'm more than willing to do anything for you."
Maybe it's the medication or maybe it's my hormones acting up, but my lips start to quiver as I stare at his little smile... I missed that.
"Hey, I'm just kidding. My crybaby is at it again, huh? Please don't-"
Minho wasn't able to finish talking because I immediately wrap my arms around him, burying my face in his chest. His familiar scent welcomes me, threatening my tears to fall. "I'm sorry, Minho. I'm sorry for being a brat. I'll listen to you now. I'm so sorry."
He hugs me back, chuckling a little. "You missed me that much?" I nod and he laughs again, propping his chin on my head and tightening his embrace. "I'm that irresistible, huh? I'm glad to know that it's not just me who misses us so much..."
He leads me to a bench beneath a tree, grinning teasingly and flicking my forehead, and I scrunch up my nose because I suddenly feel shy.
"Remember the first time we saw each other?" he asks. "Oh, wait. I'm the only one who saw you because you were too blind to even see where you're going."
"I just got nervous because of the bell!"
"Yeah, sure." He snickers. "We started in the school garden, until an insect wouldn't stop buzzing around so you found me a new hangout spot."
"I even lied to the teacher to get you out of class because I was too excited to show you the rooftop!" I giggle.
"Since then, I was never alone because you kept pestering me."
"But you looked like you enjoyed my company." I grin, eyes widening upon realising something. "We're at a garden slash rooftop right now!"
He just smiles and reaches for my hand, intertwining our fingers together. "I'll explain to you, but first I want to thank you for everything. Thank you for pestering the heck out of me. Who thought I'd actually like the company of that almost blind girl with ridiculous bangs? You're my first friend and you're so special. You make me do clichéd and sappy shit but I'd never regret meeting you... Ever."
My heart feels warm, but it somehow doesn't feel right. "Why are you talking like that, Min? You're making me nervous."
He runs his thumb over mine as he turn to me with a look so soft. Smiling sadly, glistening eyes, he pressed his lips in a thin line before speaking. "I'm sorry, Y/n. I swear I didn't lie to you. I literally found out that you and Sunny are the same some hours before you knew. I panicked and I didn't know what to do at that time that's why I acted that way."
"I understand." I nod at him.
He looks down and shakes his head. "Do you remember that night? That night where I pushed you away causing all the mess that followed? I never meant anything I said. You're not annoying and pathetic, and it's a fvcking lie when I said that I don't like being with you."
"W-Why did you say those things then?"
"Because I want you to hate me and stay away. Bambam won't stop messing with you if you keep sticking with me. I don't want that. I want you to be safe because all I bring is trouble. I didn't know what I'm trying to avoid is exactly what'll happen the very next minute."
"It's all good now, Minho."
He shakes his head and withdraws his hand from mine, making my smile fall.
"No, it's not." He looks at me seriously. "I'm going to ask you for a favour. P-Please... Please forget about me. Let's end everything between us."
My heart drops at his request. Everything sounds like a joke and it's not a funny one. I stare at him for a moment, processing his absurd words in my mind.
"W-What?"
"I'm bad for you, Y/n. Anyone can see it, everyone says so. Please... Just walk away from me."
Tears well up in my eyes as I watch my soft boy blinking repeatedly, blaming himself for the things he's not responsible for.
"Why are you saying that, Min? They're wrong! No, I don't want to!"
He cups my face, looking so conflicted that it's almost painful to look.
"You don't deserve someone like this... You deserve better, though I doubt that there's someone like that because I'm already the best, but you get my point," he says to lift the mood up, but it just tears my heart even more.
"I deserve you! We deserve each other! What nonsense are you saying?" A single tear escaped my eye and he is quick to wipe it. He pressed his lips to my forehead but instead of feeling giddy, I felt like being stabbed repeatedly.
"This is for the best, Y/n. Hush now, my crybaby." He sighs shakily and for the first time, I see a single tear cascading down his cheeks, making something inside me drop. He wipes it and stands up, giving me one last smile. "Just be happy and safe, that's all I want."
Then he turn his back on me and takes a step, one more step, until he never stops and I sat there with my tears pouring continuously as I rain my heart out.
How can I be happy when he's not with me? Can I really just watch him walk away?
NO.
I don't know where I got the force to stand up and I just realise my feet moving towards him. One more step, until I never stop and I find myself encircling my arms around his waist, hugging from behind and stopping him from walking away.
"Minho... Don't go."
"Y/n-" I tighten my embrace to show my seriousness.
"I don't want better, I just want you!"
"But-"
"Shut up! This is my life and you don't get to tell me what I want and what I need. I don't care if you're bad... I'll just make you good for me."
He turns around and faces me, groaning, sniffling, and eyes a little moist. "Where did my shy scaredy-cat go?"
"Stop pushing and telling me to find someone better because if it's not you, then who?" My voice cracks as I sob out the words.
"How can I let you go when you're like this?"
"Then don't. I'm all yours."
"Don't look at me like tha- mmn?"
I take a deep breath to gather all my courage within, pull him down by his tie, and press my lips on his. I open my eyes nervously only to see Minho frozen in his spot. His mouth opens and closes, blinking at me in daze.
"Minho?" My heart drops as his feet jolt back, and I let out a whimper as my tears flow faster. "You... You d-don't want me?"
"Fvck, no, I do!" His eyes are blown wide as he hurriedly holds me, cupping my face. "I just lost my balance. Don't cry... Shh."
"Then stay..."
"Damn it..." He bites his lower lip, face washed with conflict, and then he sighs.
Minho tilts his head and parts his mouth, closing his eyes as his lips crash on mine. Tears blending, breaths mingling, he pulls me closer and locks his arm around my waist, making me gasp as he takes my breath away. Our lips dance together, mine barely keeping up with his, almost drowning as my heart thumps erratically as if it's going to burst out of my chest. I feel Minho smile and I swear I've never felt the giddiest as butterflies somersault all over my body. He's so gentle, guiding my inexperience to move with him in sync. Blissful, chaste, sweet, making me weak in a good way.
We pull away and my face burns seeing how red his smirking lips became.
I JUST KISSED MINHO.
"T-That's my first kiss! And my second! Take responsibility and don't leave me!" I stammer out through my shy state.
"I guess my naïve kitty is not so innocent anymore." He clicks his tongue and swipes his thumb across my bottom lip. "Bad girl... I definitely won't leave you now."
I pout. "Sure?"
Minho pinches my cheeks with one hand to make my lips more pouty, and then kisses me. "Sure."