"Nicole?" I heard a voice, although it was distant, it was there. I slowly felt myself come to and I could feel someone tuck my hair behind my ear with care. I slowly opened my eyes, taking in my surroundings. I furrowed my eyebrows and realized I was in a room with large windows that overlooked the city, laying on a bed.
"Hey Nicolioli." I heard Elijah's voice and he squeezed my arm.
"Hey." I said, my voice coming out coarse. "God-" I held my head.
"What, you okay?" He asked, rubbing my back as I sat up.
"I passed out didn't I?" I groaned and he chuckled.
"Yup, you took quite the tumble."
"I barely ate today, God I'm so dumb! All those people probably thought the worst." I laid back and covered my face with one of the pillows.
"It's fine, trust me." He patted my hand and I heard the door open.
"Nicole! Thank God you're awake, you feeling better?" Tanya came in and I nodded.
"Yeah, but my ego is a bit hurt."
"Oh you're fine, if anything you made Shawn feel really bad." She said and my eyes widened, choking on my own gasp. "The look on his face was priceless."
"I didn't really get to that part yet Tanya." Elijah said and she covered her mouth.
"Shawn's here?" I asked and they each nodded. "R-really?" I stuttered and Tanya sat next to me, hugging me.
"I thought that's why you passed out." She sighed. "I never knew, but I guess AG Artists manages him and my boss is the head of his marketing team."
"Is he still here?"
"Yeah, I think he won't leave until he knows you're okay, as much as he doesn't want to admit it."
"How long was I out?"
"About an hour or two." Elijah said and I let out an exasperated sigh. Fucking hell. After three fucking years of avoiding places I knew he would be and never wanting anything to do with him. I had seen him once, two years ago, I had walked into a coffee shop after a late meeting and I saw him, sitting at a table, writing in a journal. Once I saw him I ran out of there and didn't look back.
"If you want we can sneak you out, disguise you as Elijah." Tanya shrugged and we all giggled.
"No it's fine, I'm just going to go to the bathroom real quick and then we'll head out." I smiled and patted her thigh before getting up slowly.
"It's to your right, down the hall, first door." Tanya added and I nodded, walking out the door and heading to the bathroom. I opened the door and closed it behind me, locking it before staring at myself in the mirror. I opened the tap and pressed cold water on my cheeks.
"Calm down Nicole, it's not the end of the world." I whispered to myself in the mirror. "You have grown, you are not that person anymore, and you do not need him."
I let a deep breath out and fixed myself before opening the door, walking out only to bump into something hard.
I looked up and saw Shawn, his eyes widened as he backed away from me. We just stared at each other awkwardly, not saying a word to each other. He looked different, very mature and grown. His hair was much longer, his curls more defined as well as his facial features. He towered over me, taller than when I met him. Damn him for looking handsome as always, I'll admit. He was wearing black slacks paired with a black t- shirt and a navy blue dress shirt that was left unbuttoned. I could see his tattoos showing, a swallow on his hand and guitar on his forearm.
I was about to walk away when he grabbed my hand and I quickly pulled it back, furrowing my eyebrows as to why he would grab me.
"I'm glad you're okay." He stuttered and I just scoffed, turning around to walk away.
"How are you?" He awkwardly asked and I frowned, turning around hastily, making him jump.
"How am I?" I nearly barked at him."You have a lot a nerve asking me that you know."
"How are you?" He awkwardly asked and I furrowed my eyebrows, turning around, confused as to why he cared .
"How am I?" I growled, letting out a nervous laugh. "You have a lot of fucking nerve asking me that."
"Nicole I-" He began, but I stopped him.
"After three years you want to talk and explain yourself? Well I don't want to hear it," I shook my head, breathing uneasily. "Why should I? When you didn't even care to listen to me or let me explain myself. You just made me out to be some monster that had a personal vendetta against you and your family! I was just a girl who made a lot of shitty mistakes in her past, but that's not me. Those mistakes don't make me who I am and I damn well have grown from them. I not her anymore, I am me, so don't come to me trying to explain how sorry you are, you lost that right when you decided not to love me anymore."
He stood there, quiet like a little kid who was getting scolded.
"I'm just so sorry." He simply said and I felt sick to my stomach.
"No, I'm the one who should be sorry because I don't trust or love a lot of people, but I guess when I chose to trust you and when I chose to love you, I made a huge mistake." I ended the conversation as I felt the tears well up in my eyes. I turned around walking away before hearing his voice one more time.
"I read the article you know." He said and I stopped in my tracks. "I just wanted you to know, I read it."
"And it still didn't change anything did it." I looked over my shoulder. "Because look at where we are."
I walked away and went back into the room where Tanya and Elijah were sitting waiting for me, surprised looks on their faces. I let a deep breath out, shocked that I actually confronted him the way I did. I sat in between them and they both hugged me as I sat there feeling defeated.
"You did the right thing." Tanya said and I nodded.
"I know I did, it feels right, but-" I paused, not wanting to say it.
"But what? He needed to hear that." Tanya shrugged as Elijah shook his head knowing what I meant.
"But now she has to apologize."
"Apologize for what?!" Tanya stood up and furrowed her eyebrows, throwing her hands up in the air.
"In AA there are steps you have to follow, the eighth step is seeking amends or else it will haunt you and cause you to relapse." I sighed. "I apologized to him in the article, sure, but I never asked for forgiveness face to face. And now after I blew up in his face I need to ask for forgiveness."
"I'm sorry, but AA is dumb." Tanya scoffed and Elijah and I chuckled.
"Let's just go yeah?" I asked and Elijah nodded.
"I'll drop you guys off."
"No it's fine Tanya, we'll grab an uber, you stay and mingle." I said and she shook her head. "It's fine, trust me." I smiled and went up to hug her.
"Thank you guys for coming at least, sorry about everything." She shrugged.
"Well before passing out and everything I had fun."
"Yeah, me too." Elijah smiled and looked at me, causing me to blush.
"Oh God, get a room." Tanya gagged and I rolled my eyes laughing. We said goodbye and went out to say goodbye to Tanya's boss as well, apologizing for making a scene.
"No apologies needed! I'm just glad you're okay." He smiled as he shook my hand. Elijah shook his hand as well and Tanya walked us to the elevator where we were given our coats and I ordered us an uber. We made our way down, Elijah helping me put on my coat in the process.
"Thank you for tonight by the way."
"Of course Nicolioli, what kind of friend would I be?"
"Oh so you did come as a friend." I smirked and he nudged me playfully. We made our way to the lobby and met with the car outside, getting into the back seat.
"Julio's diner correct?" The driver asked and I responded with a simple 'yes'.
"We're going to the diner?" Elijah asked and I nodded.
"Sorry, is that okay? I'm hungry." I giggled and he nodded.
"Believe it or not, some waffles sound really good right now."
"My brother should still be there cleaning up." I smiled.
The drive wasn't as long, but it was mostly silent, feeling awkward to talk in front of our driver. He dropped us in front of the diner where Jacob opened the door for us.
"You guys are a little over dressed." Jacob said and locked the door behind us.
"Very funny." I shoved him and took off my coat, hanging it up as Elijah did the same. I took off my heels and put my hair into a low pony tail as I went into the kitchen so I could whip something up.
"What will you guys have?" I asked them both.
"Waffles please." Elijah responded.
"How about some hashbrowns?" Jacob added and I nodded.
"Coming right up!"
"Let me help." Elijah said and I nodded, handing him an apron before putting on mine.
"You can shred the potatoes please." I passed him two potatoes and he grabbed the grater. I prepared the batter for waffles, heating up the waffle iron.
"Are we frying the hash browns or should I do it on the griddle?"
"Griddle, it's easier to clean up." I nodded and poured batter into the iron, pressing down and scraping the sides. I went to check on Elijah who had properly made golden hash browns, surprising me.
"You sure you don't want to work here?" I asked him and he shook his head, laughing.
"And you be the boss of me? I'm okay." He chuckled and I rolled my eyes. I went back to make the waffles, making a stack of four and serving them on a plate. I took off the apron and followed Elijah out into the dining room, with the food on a tray, where Jacob was sitting in one of the booths, watching videos on his phone.
"Thank for the help." I sarcastically said.
"Hey, I cleaned this entire place." He shot back and I chuckled.
We sat down and dug into our food, all of us clearly starving.
"So you guys went to a party?" Jacob asked and we nodded.
"For Tanya."
"Why'd you guys leave so early?" He asked and I looked at Elijah, nodding to allow him to explain.
"Well, your sister here passed out because she didn't eat enough today." Elijah sighed and Jacob's eyes widened. "And Shawn was there."
"Holy fuck no way." He breathed out and I nodded. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine, but I kind of blew up in his face."
"What'd he say?"
"He kept saying sorry and he wanted to know how I was, he also mentioned he read the article." I set my fork down. "But I didn't want to hear it."
"Wow after three years, that's crazy." He shook his head. "You have to apologize to him don't you?"
"Yes." I groaned and rested my head on the table.
"So what are you gonna do?"
"I don't know okay I just don't want to talk about it right now." I shook my head and got up from the booth, taking my empty plate into the kitchen. I let a deep breath out and threw the plate into the sink, causing it to shatter. I feel like I've lost control, I was good, happy, and just seeing him brought up the past.
"Hey." I heard Elijah's soft voice and I gripped onto the sink, my head hanging down in defeat. I basically felt like an idiot and Elijah knew it. I turned around and he came up to me, placing his hands on my upper arms in a comforting manner. I didn't want to look up, I remained staring at his shoes and he took his hand, lifting my chin up.
"You'll figure it out, one way or another." He said and rubbed his hands up and down my arms. He then pulled me into a tight hug and I wrapped my arms around him. "You'll be fine." He rubbed circles around my back and I rested my head on his shoulder.
"I don't know how I'm going to do it, make amends to someone who completely changed my life in the bests and worsts ways." I let a deep breath out and he placed his hand on my head. "I just don't want to jeopardize how far I've come, I had to learn to un-love him, even if it was the hardest thing to do."
"You'll do it, with the help of me and everyone else."
"What if my feelings come back, what if it was all for nothing?"
"They won't." He pushed me away so he could look at me. "Not if you don't let it, and you won't."
"Thank you." I sighed into his chest, hugging him tightly again, my arms holding onto his shoulder. "I don't know if I say that enough."
"You do, but I'm glad I can be here to help you."
We backed away from each other a bit, his hands hands still attached to my waist. Our faces getting closer and closer as his grip tightened around my waist.
"You guys ready? It's getting late." Jacob scared us and we pulled away from each other, clearing our throats awkwardly.
"Yeah, let's go." I nodded and I turned off the light in the kitchen before putting my heels and coat back on. Jacob handed me the keys and we locked up before getting in the car and driving home. The drive home was quiet, I looked through the rear view mirror and saw Elijah staring at me. I looked back at the road and could feel my cheeks turn a shade of crimson red.
I pulled into my drive way and we each got out of the car. Jacob said goodbye to Elijah and went inside. I closed my car door and locked the car before walking him to his car.
"Tonight was pretty eventful." I said, sticking my hands in my pockets and crossing my feet, swaying nervously for some unknown reason.
"It really was, but for the most part I had fun." He grinned, silence filling the air. "Well, I better head home, see you soon?"
"Of course, thank you for coming Elijy." I smiled and he rolled his eyes, stepping forward and placing a kiss on my cheek. He got in his car and quickly left while I stood there, throwing my head back.
"I'm an idiot." I shook my head and went inside to see Jacob on his phone.
"I'll see you tomorrow, Nicole just came in." He whispered to his phone and I furrowed my eyebrows.
"What's with the whispering?" I asked him and he shook his head.
"Oh, nothing." He shrugged it off and I crossed my arms, giving him 'the look'. "It was Aaliyah, we have plans tomorrow and I'm going over to her house, no biggie."
"You know you don't have to keep that from me right? I love Aaliyah and she's always welcome here too."
"I just never knew where we stood with that." He sighed and I nodded.
"Do you know if Shawn is going to be there?"
"He should, he's taking some time off before leaving to perform a few shows." He nodded. "Why?"
"I can drop you off tomorrow, I need to get this amends over with." I sighed, taking off my heels.
"You sure?"
"Yeah." I breathed out and went up to him, placing a kiss on his head. "I'm heading to bed, I'm beat."
"Alright, I'm supposed to be there at 9, is that alright?"
"Sounds good to me, goodnight brother."
"Goodnight." He responded and I went upstairs, closing the door to my room behind me and taking off my dress so I could take a quick shower. I lasted a while under the hot water, my thoughts overcoming me. Tomorrow was going to be rough, I just hope I can get through it.
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Happy update! I hope you enjoy Shawn's little visit. More to come soon so be ready... Also, I think this song applies so well to Shawn and Nicole's story and it's just overall a good simp song people can relate too. Make sure to like and comment :)