‼TRIGGER WARNING‼
Jennie was slowly walking away from the scene. Her legs felt as if they were weighted with lead; her breathing pattern starting to get erratic.
She couldn't stop the tears from falling from her eyes, she tried to, but everytime she did, a new wave would come crashing down as she remembered the conversation she heard.
Why did it hurt so much?
Why did it feel like her heart was about to explode from all the pain she was feeling?
She closed her eyes as she tried to even out her breathing.
She heard footsteps from behind, she didn't really want to face her yet, but here she was.
"Please Jisoo, please...just leave me alone." she says, not wanting to deal with this right now.
She heard the footsteps stop.
"Jen, please, let me explain."
Jennie clenched her fists then turned around to face her. Jisoo looked at her with sorrowful eyes, her expression full of guilt and remorse.
She didn't let it get to her.
"Explain what exactly, Jisoo? Are you going to explain to me how you treated my like a fool?"
Jisoo shook her head.
"I'm the fool Jennie. It was a stupid mistake, I should've told you about it earlier."
"Then why didn't you?"
Jisoo paused, she fidgeted a bit, then took a deep breath.
"I was scared."
"Scared of what?"
Jisoo looked into her eyes.
"I was scared of losing you."
Jennie laughed, oh the irony of it all.
"Well congratulations! This is the consequence of your decision." she says as she turns around to leave, but Jisoo stops her by gripping her hand.
She hated it, she hated how warm her hand felt on hers, how she just wanted to turn around and forget about what happened.
"Let me go, Jisoo."
She does as what she was told.
"Jennie, please give me a chance, please. I want to fix this, I really want to do right by you." she says.
"Why? Because you found out I was the one who gave the pin?"
"No..."
"Are you sure? Because from what I heard, you were SUPPOSED to confess to Chaeng instead of me right? Because you liked her. You liked her for the fact that you thought it was her who gave you the pin. Are you going to tell me you like me now just because of that?"
Jisoo gritted her teeth.
"I don't like you just because I found out you gave the pin."
Jennie sighed.
"I really want to believe you Jisoo, I do. But after everything, it's so hard to trust you now. I don't know what is real and what isn't."
"I know..."
Jennie closed her eyes. She had to make a decision.
"I'm sorry Jisoo, but after everything, it's best that you just leave me alone. I don't want to see you, be with you, or have anything to do with you at all. If you care about me even just a little, you would respect my wishes." she tells her.
She saw Jisoo swallow hard as she looks at Jennie. Finally, she nods.
"If that is what makes you happy, Jendeukie."
Jennie gave her a weak smile, then turns around again.
This time, Jisoo doesn't stop her.
**************************************
Jennie stared blankly at the book she was trying to read. She was doing her best to finish the assignment for her English class, but it was futile.
She finally closed it in frustration and rubbed her eyes, she felt so tired.
It wasn't surprising, she barely slept and because of that, she was unable to focus in class.
Her friends had noticed the changes in her attitude. She was crankier than usual and she ate very little. Nothing seemed to interest her, and she just wanted to go home and lock herself in her room.
Irene had tried to talk to her about it, but she refused, telling her that she was fine.
Her best friend knew better than to push her, and Jennie was certain that she was aware of what had happened.
Instead, Irene sat with her quietly when she could, trying to cheer her up and asking her to eat properly.
She hated how she was like this. She shouldn't be this affected, but she couldn't help it.
A week had already passed since that incident happened, and Jisoo kept her word by staying away from her.
But she couldn't deny that she missed her badly. She missed her lame dad jokes, she missed their witty banter, her giving in to what she wanted. She missed talking about silly things, late night phone conversations, her warm smile, her physical presence.
Plus the fact that the kiss they shared was tattoed on her mind. It haunted her dreams and kept her awake.
Being kissed by Jisoo was amazing, it made her feel so many different things, but most importantly, it made her feel safe and loved.
It was too good to be true.
That's why she panicked, she couldn't process what was happening. It was too raw, too real, the possibility of her probably feeling the same way she did. It scared her, because that meant opening up herself to her even more. That meant letting her in. She feared that at some point in time, they would end up like her parents, hating and hurting each other and the people around them.
But of course, her fears were realized when she heard Jisoo's conversation with Seulgi. She was actually looking for her so they could talk. Jennie had seen her running around the building, and when she finally had gotten close to her, Jisoo had bumped into Seulgi and that was it.
That's when she decided it's best to just give it up.
It hurt more than she could ever imagine.
Why did she have to fall for her? Why?
Her life was fine until she came along.
Jisoo doesn't feel the same way you do, Jennie. Deal with it.
She sighed and got up. Might as well try to find another book to add in for her assignment.
When she was done browsing and getting what she needed, she went back to her table.
She was about to sit down when she noticed that someone had placed a burger on top of her notebook. There was a note attached to it.
She picked it up and read it's contents:
I hope this helps you finish your homework on time. :)
She furrowed her eyebrows and looked around, she didn't see anyone she recognized.
She opened it and her eyes perked up.
It was her favorite avocado burger!
She looked around once more, trying to see who it was, but she wasn't able to find them.
She wondered if Irene had left this for her, she had been quite persistent about her eating habits lately.
Her stomach began to rumble, she realized she was so hungry, so she sat down on her seat, careful to check in case she was spotted by the librarian.
Finally, when she saw that the coast was clear, she took a bite.
A big smile then formed on her face, the most genuine one she had in days.
She munched her food happily, thanking the heavens for whoever had sent this to her.
Once she was done eating, she felt some energy seep back into her body. She grabbed her pen and began working on her paper with renewed vigor.
After about 40 minutes, she was finally done, and she let out a satisfied smile.
Maybe things were starting to look up after all. She began to fix her stuff, just in time too because Miss Pae, the school's librarian, was informing them that the library was about to close soon.
Once she was sure she had everything in her bag, she stood up, feeling an extra spring in her step.
Who knew an Avocado burger would help lift up her spirits?
She was about to walk out the door when she accidentally bumped into someone.
Looking up, she saw a red faced Jisoo, who looked down as soon as she met her eyes.
"Sorry." she mumbled.
Jennie's heart raced as soon as she caught sight of her, but she made sure that she had a neutral expression on her face, she didn't want her to think that she was very affected by what happened.
She brushed past her and continued walking outside.
She saw Kai, who was walking from a different direction.
He smiled at her and waved.
"Hey Jennie!"
"Hi Kai."
"Were you finishing some work at the library?"
"Yeah, I had to make sure that I'm going to pass that English paper due by tomorrow."
He nodded.
"Oh yeah, THAT. I had to make sure to complete it before practice started, or else I would be too distracted."
She laughed.
"Well then, that's good that you made sure to finish it beforehand."
"Indeed!" he says while blowing a strand of hair away from his eyes.
"So uh, you headed home?" he asked.
"Yes, I am."
He smiled shyly at her.
"Well, I'm headed somewhere near your place. You can hitch a ride with me if you want." he offered.
She was about to answer when Jisoo was suddenly beside her.
"It's fine, I'll be the one to take her home." she told Kai.
Kai was just as surprised as she was when he saw her.
Jisoo was staring at him as she put an arm around Jennie's shoulder. She was still too shocked by her sudden arrival to react.
"Oh, uhm okay. Cool, no worries! Well, it was nice seeing you guys. I'll be heading off then, take care!" he says grinning, and waved a goodbye to the both of them.
Jennie finally got over her initial reaction and shook off Jisoo's arm.
"What is your problem?" she asked angrily.
She shrugged.
"He's friends with that Chanyeol and I don't trust their group." she simply answered.
"Kai isn't like that."
Jisoo fixed the hair out of her face.
She hated how a simple move like that made her heart flutter.
"I just don't want you ending up like Chaeyoung."
"I can take care of myself, thanks."
Jisoo nodded. Jennie had noticed how tired she looked.
"Alright, I'll get out of your hair then." she told her, and walked away.
She wanted so bad to stop her, but she didn't.
Her good mood had been short-lived. She sighed and decided to head on home.
When she finally arrived, she could hear two voices arguing inside the living room.
She rolled her eyes.
Great, her dad was here.
She was about to go upstairs when she heard her name being mentioned by her mom.
She stayed behind to eavesdrop in on their conversation.
"All I am asking is that you give some of your time to Jennie! Your daughter has been feeling down for a few days now and she could use our support!"
"You know how busy I am Chaerin! I am sure whatever she's feeling, it's just some normal teenager blues that everyone goes through. She'll be fine, and you are here aren't you?" she heard her father say.
So her mother had noticed how sad she had been. No wonder she had tried to spend some extra time with her. Her heart warmed at the thought.
Her father on the other hand, well, let's just say she wasn't too surprised.
"You know, I don't care if you hate my guts, or fuck with whatever woman that so much as looks at you, but at least be a father to your own daughter! That isn't so hard!"
"Oh! So now you're questioning my parenting skills? We both know you aren't any different!"
She heard her mother huff in frustration.
"Goddamit, I am trying my best, Jiyong! It's not too late to show our daughter that we love her!"
"Are you telling me that I don't love my own daughter?!"
"Don't put words into my mouth! All I am trying to say is that we also need to show her actions instead of just mere words!"
"Don't accuse me of not loving Jennie, Chaerin! You know how much I have done for her! I have provided her a good home, given her everything she needs! There isn't anything that she is lacking!"
"Yes there is! She is lacking the love and care of her parents!"
"You shut your filthy mouth! Do you remember who convinced you from stopping the abortion? Huh? IT WAS ME! Jennie wouldn't be here if it wasn't for me!"
Jennie's heart stopped.
What?
She heard a slap.
But it was as if she had felt it on her own face.
"What did you say?" she croaked. Her parents turned around, and her mother's eyes widened when she saw her.
"Jennie. Jennie, baby, it's not what you think. Please let me explain." her mother told her as she moved towards her.
How many times must she hear that line?
The pain in her heart was tremendous.
She wasn't aware that her tears had started to fall.
She began to sob uncontrollably, every breath she took felt like a chore.
Her teeth were clenched as she let out an agonizing scream. She put her palm on her chest and gripped at her shirt. It felt like her heart had shattered into a million pieces, and no one could fix it.
Her mother tried to hug her.
"Jennie, Jennie, please."
She fought her off and kicked her away.
What did she do to deserve this?
"Jennie!" her mother sobbed, trying her best to gain control of the situation.
Jennie glared at her.
"You should have done it. Then, you wouldn't have had any problems trying to convince me that you actually care for me!" she spat.
Then, she turned around and ran away.
She heard her mother and father call out to her, but she didn't care.
She ran, and kept on running until her legs couldn't take it anymore.
Finally, she slumped herself into a quiet corner inside an alley.
She buried her face in her arms, sobbing uncontrollably.
She felt so alone.
When she finally started to calm down, she leaned against the wall and stared blankly at her surroundings.
The first person that swam into her mind was Kim Jisoo.
Her heart ached even further at the thought of her. She wished she was here, but, like her parents, Jisoo had existed to only hurt and disappoint her in the end.
She only had herself and her friends.
She continued to stare at the space in front of her until the sun set and the stars started twinkling in the sky.
Time was no longer a factor to her. She didn't care anymore.
She didn't know what to do. All she wanted right now was just to feel the pain, maybe she somehow deserved it.
She didn't want to impose in on her friends either. This was her problem, not theirs.
Suddenly, she heard some footsteps nearby.
She looked up and saw two burly men walking towards her direction.
They stopped in front of her and they looked at each other.
They seemed to be having an argument, but she couldn't hear them.
Finally, one of them, the taller of the two, approached her and squatted in front of her.
"You know a person named Kim Jisoo?" he asked her directly.
She just stared back at him.
"Hey, I'm asking you a question!"
She remained silent.
"I think she's the girlfriend. Many people see them together all the time." the other guy said.
She didn't even bother to correct him.
"So, you're important to her, huh?" Tall guy asked.
She wished she was important to Jisoo.
"What a bitch, she's trying to irritate you by not answering." Guy 2 stated.
The tall guy gripped her face.
"You better cooperate if you know what's good for you!"
Jennie remained unbothered.
"Hey, let's take her back to the base. The boss might know how to deal with her."
"Yeah, you may have a point."
He stood up and grabbed Jennie by the arm, effectively forcing her to stand up.
"You're coming with us!" he said as he tied up her arms and blindfolded her.
She didn't even fight back.
Everything went dark after that.