Staring in a daze from my bed I couldn't help but feel vulnerable. I couldn't bring myself to think that what all happened. The pain, the breakdown, the darkness. I thought that I had overcome my past, my fear but things proved just opposite!
Rubbing my fingers with one another, I thought about Daniyal. The one man whom I trusted myself with much effort but he failed to look beyond my figure!
Soon, the lust became torture and torture became revenge. I was suppose to die but fate played it part and I was alive. Leaning back on the wall I closed my eyes for a second when I heard the clicking of the door. My heart started beating loudly just by the mere sound of the door knob but soon I controlled it and only after that I opened my eyes.
Ashar...
My mind couldn't process while my heart was in denial. Even though he was standing in front of me I still felt that it was just my hallucination afterall why would Ashar come to meet a woman like me?
Slowly I pulled myself in a sitting position my gaze focused on the very man which I had once left and now he had left me! Is this is the definition of karma? What you do comes back to you? But didn't I repented? Didn't I cried for forgiveness? Didn't I slept many sleepless nights? Didn't my nightmares became my companion?
Then why now when everything was going right on track, all of a sudden I has been slapped on her face? Why I was forced to stand face to face with my past which I had buried deep within my soul? Why again my child was ripped apart again from me?
Shezan...my Shezan
"Laiba" his voice made me calm. The inner battle that I was fighting with my mind and soul suddenly came to a halt and only his voice has that much power over me. Only he can still bring me down to my knees.
Only his love
"How are you feeling?" He asked taking a seat beside my bed.
"What are you doing over here?" I asked.
"Can't a husband visit his wife?" He asked leaning forward.
Turning my head in opposite direction I chuckled.
"Wife or a Streetwalker?" My gaze was so sharp that made him freeze.
In the next moment a chair was roughly thrown backwards and my jaw was held firmly. Not too tight to make me feel uncomfortable but not too loose to make me look elsewhere.
Making my gaze fixed solely on himself he leaned down which I remained unfazed by our closeness.
"Don't tempt me to bite that little tongue of yours" he warned I smirked.
"Hustler or Streetwalker?" I questioned even though fully aware of consequences that I can face.
It was just a matter of few blinks when I was roughly pushed back on the very bed of the hospital in which I was admitted. Covering my small body with his he stared deep in my eyes.
"You" he took a deep breath before continuing again "are only and only Mine!"
It wasn't a question nor did he uttered those words for confirmation but rather is was a statement which even if I wanted couldn't change the fact.
Only yours
"Mr.Sayeed I'm not an object nor a possession."
"You are mine!"
"And did you do the justice with that statement of yours?"
"Laiba...I wasn't thinking straight" he buried his face in my hair.
"So that gives you the right to point finger at my character? I'm sorry Mr.Sayeed but we women should be treated as jewels and not like an object!" My answer came out very firm.
"I apologize" he breathed my scent placing a soft kiss on my collarbone. Even though I didn't wanted to but a traitorous moan escaped my lips which was an immediate permission to laze around his fingers freely on my arms.
"Ashar, we're in the mid of a conversation!" I tried to push him back.
"And I am apologising" he murmured as his fingers very lightly grazed against my bosom making me stiff. The thin hospital gown that I was wearing was giving more positive vibes to his certain part of the body.
"Come with me"
Something clicked in me and before I could even fathom I pushed him away from me. Breathing heavily I quickly sit up straightening my gown. I saw him running his fingers through his hair as he gave me a longing look which I ignored.
"Laiba please"
"No Ashar, no. Why do you want me back? To humiliate me more?"
"I said I'm sorry, Laiba!" With quick steps he was again beside me
"Did you listened to me when I begged you to hear me out? Did you listened to me first before telling Shezan? Did you?" I asked looking down at him.
He closed his eyes covering his face with his hands as he shook his head sighing "I freaked out when I saw those reports!"
"Getting freaked out doesn't mean that you'll accuse me!"
"Look, we can talk this out?"
"But just not now!"
"Laiba..." He tried grabbing her hand but I pulled back.
"You need to sort yourself out first Ashar."
"Please come with me..."
"I want to spend time with Dad"
"Will you not come?"
"Not until you muster up the courage to listen to the whole story"
"I am ready-"
"No" I snapped. "You're not...you're just regretting what you said and done."
"As you wish" with that he stood up and I looked at him.
I could definitely see the pain in his eyes. The desperation in his voice and most importantly the way his hands fumbled with each other. I definitely wanted to reach out and comfort him but I held myself back and just like that I dropped my gaze down.
While he also made no move to make any conversation he took a step back creating a small distance between them.
I frowned seeing this but chose to remain quiet.
Soon there was a knock before my parents entered the room shocked to see Ashar. Seeing them he greeted them but still preferred to stay right where he was standing before.
"Laiba, how are you feeling now?" Mama asked cupping one of my cheeks.
"I'm good" I gave her a small smile.
"Did you ate?"
"Yeah...Dad when are they discharging me?" She asked.
"Tomorrow"
"But why?"
"Weren't you the one who gave all of us a mini heart attack?"
"And a punishment for making all of us worried sick you'll be staying one more day in the hospital" Dad said.
"Okay..." I shrugged
"But don't you worry I'm gonna stay the night with you" Mama beamed excitedly
"I'll be staying with her " a very hoarse voice laden with thick emotions was heard.
"No Son, you need to rest. I'll be there for her."
"No Aunty...I'll be staying." He pushed himself off the wall that he was leaning on to.
"Ashar...."
"You got your chance once but not now." His voice was cold but held finality that he's not going to change his decision.
"Okay, as you wish." Dad said and I looked at my dad with a perplexed expression. Weren't my dad use to understand without even hearing me?
"Ashar, just take care of her and remember this time her father is standing beside her. So think twice before I get a phone call again."
Nope, it wasn't a threat from my dad nor a warning it was just a simple message for him to know.
"I assure you Sir, that there won't be any complains." He said.
Great!
After staying for some more time they left and he didn't made any effort to talk which I was very much happy about. I was dreading thinking that how I'm gonna spent the whole evening and night with him but for my luck I was given an early dinner followed by a pill that'll help in relaxing my mind and body.
"No more-" I said pulling away
"One more spoon" he brought forward the spoon but I just shook my head wrapping my hands around the mouth.
"I'm full and it's tasteless..." I whined
"But it's healthy."
"And I don't like it..."
"Laiba" he chided and I just made a face but none other less I opened my mouth.
"Good girl." He smiled while I glared. After finishing with the dinner I got down of the bed slowly, my head still spinned and my body still felt weak.
"Easy..." Ashar came beside me and took hold of my hand. I tried pulling my hand back but his hold was firm. Sighing and not in the mood to argue I walked towards the washroom.
"I can handle myself from here" I said and closed the door. After finishing with my night routine I opened the door to find him standing with his arms crossed against his chest. As soon as he saw me he was again beside me.
Helping me to bed he even opened my hijab which was very loosely wrapped around and freed my hair from the bun.
"Why are you doing all of this?" I asked
"For the sake of my peace." He murmerred.
"Ashar-" his pointer finger was on top of my lips sushing me. "You should sleep now." He said and made me lie down.
"Please don't forget to take your dinner" I whispered raising my chin a bit.
"I will..." He placed a soft kiss on my forehead and lightly stroked my hair which instantly made me sleep.
It must be way past midnight when sleep got broken. Turning around I found Ashar sitting on a chair beside my bed. His head resting on his right arms while from his left hand he was clutching my bedsheet tightly.
My heart swelled up at this gesture of his but at the same time my mind took me to every nook where he had behaved like a heartless man. He also gave me beautiful memories to cherish but didn't work on his temper.
I knew very well that he has still not been able to fully trust her. I had knew and had feared that this day would eventually come but I had knew when to open my mouth. Only the thing was he didn't even bothered to listen.
Keeping my hand on his head I gently stroked his hair relishing the moment. I knew nothing could fix us. By looking at him I could see Shezan staring back at me with pure hatred in his eyes the intensity of the hate was so much that I pulled my hand back and laid back down with my back turned to him.
I fisted my hand and then put it in my mouth so that the sob couldn't be heard. I tried not to shake as I cried. I tried my very best to calm myself down but nothing could make me.
Almost turning myself completely to my left when I was suddenly pulled back to a chest turning me around. I hid my face in his white shirt while I clutched the shirt with my hand. And the calmness that I was searching around from such a long time came in the form of Ashar resting his head on top of my head as a feather light kiss was dropped upon my head.