It was four in the morning. I could barely fall asleep anymore. These loud thoughts kept me awake. The thing is, I thought that I was doing better. I was finally able to look in the mirror and love what I saw. But, I guess that was temporary.
"It's pointless" I said sighing and getting out of bed and leaving my room, heading to the kitchen.
It's four in the morning, so I didn't expect anyone to be awake. But, I forgot that Morgan had spent the night last night. She must have heard me walking around because I saw her sit up.
"Is everything okay?" Morgan asked me in a sleepy voice.
"Yeah. Just can't sleep. Figured, why keep trying?" I said sitting down.
"But are you okay?" Morgan asked.
"I thought I was. I was learning how to love myself, and emotionally I was doing fine, then suddenly. I'm not." I said.
"Do you need anything?" Morgan asked.
"I need to be okay" I said.
"Wanna watch some movies?" Morgan asked.
I nodded and grabbed the remote and turned on the TV.
"Yeah" I said turning it down making sure it was loud enough to hear, but not so loud it would wake Shane and Ryland.
Time skip
It was nine in the morning. Morgan and I were cuddled under a blanket while watching a movie. Tears stained my face, while Morgan held me close, making sure I was okay.
I heard steps down the hallway.
"Morning. How long have you guys been up?" Shane asked.
"Um, what time is it?" I asked, my voice cracking a bit.
"Nine in the morning" Shane said.
"Five hours." Morgan said.
"I never fell asleep, around four in the morning I came out and accidentally woke Morgan" I said.
"Yeah, so we decided to just watch movies" Morgan said.
Shane and Ryland sat down.
"Is there a specific reason why you couldn't sleep?" Shane asked.
I shrugged.
"You know you can tell us if something is going on. We are here for you" Ryland said.
"I know Ry." I said nodding my head and wiping the tears off of my face.
Shane sat there.
"So, you want to talk about it?" Shane asked.
"It's my depression I think. One moment I'll be happy and the next I'm just, not. And I'm crying. It's getting harder to fall asleep, and when I do fall asleep, it's hard to get up in the morning." I said.
"Why didn't you tell us?" Ryland asked.
"It's not really something that's easy to talk about. I'm managing it, as best I can" I said.
Ryland nodded.
"Okay, just if you need something, don't hesitate to come to us." Ryland said.
"Okay. I won't. I love you guys" I said.
"We love you too" Shane said.