JANE'S POV
Soon after Claudius dropped me off , l rushed into my room and locked myself in. I was a nervous mess. My emotions were all over the place. My mind was foggy with confusion and a headache had begun.
I wanted to be left alone. I needed space to think this thing through. I leaned on my bedroom door for a moment as l took in huge breaths to steady myself.
My hands were trembling so much. Luckily , everyone had already gone to sleep when l arrived. I wasn't in a condition to see anyone. One look at their loving faces , l knew l would break down into a sobbing mess.
My family was convinced that l had finally moved past Ferracco's ultimate betrayal and l didn't want to disappoint them again. We were finally a normal and happy family . l wouldn't want to ruin that for anything.
I moved away from the door on trembling legs and dropped my clutch on the bed. I began pacing the room thinking.
What if it was merely a coincidence?
What if l am being paranoid for nothing?
I couldn't bear this insecurity , these suspicions anymore. I was getting tired of these " what if " thoughts. I wanted peace for myself. I couldn't be a good mother to Elena if my mind was always plagued with bitterness and depression. For once l wanted to be a happy mother to her.
That was the least l could do for my daughter who meant the world to me. With a sudden determination , l rummaged through my clutch for my cellphone until l located it. I dialled the number of the person whom l knew would help me to get rid of my suspicions.
Felicia picked up on the third ring and l silently thanked my lucky stars. I was anxious to get this thing done and over with.
"Hie Felicia. I am sorry for calling this late but l desperately need your help," l quickly said.
There was a brief moment of silence from the other end before a husky voice came through.
" It's okay . What do you want ? "
I heard her sleepy yawn. She must have been asleep before l disturbed her.
" l need that private investigator's number ."
"What ! ," she nearly screamed over the phone. I guess she was now fully awake judging by her usual high pitched voice.
"I need the number of that private investigator you used on your husband a year ago," l explained to her.
"I heard you well the first time. What l mean is why do you need Santiago's number?," she asked me in a shocked and suspicious voice.
I rolled my eyes at her outburst though she couldn't see me. Felicia with her interrogations! She was like some mother hen. I blew away a strand of hair on my face feeling bored.
" Stop asking silly questions , Felicia. Just forward the number to my phone ," l answered in a weary voice.
" Wait! Is Claudius already cheating on you! It's barely a month since you guys started dating!," she cried out.
I had to put my phone a bit far to avoid damage to my precious ears.
" It's not that ."
"Then why the hell do you need Santiago for?," she asked in a serious voice.
It was nearly impossible to keep a secret from her. I ran a hand through my blond hair for the umpteenth time, feeling nervous of what l was about to do.
" l saw someone who looked like Ferracco. I need to investigate him to be sure it's not another version of Ferracco with a plastic surgery. "
The words felt stupid as they rolled off my tongue. Surely Felicia must be thinking that l am going insane. I heard her gasp loudly from the other end.
" Are you sure you are not making a mistake? Because if this thing blows off, you will be sued for stalking," she exclaimed in disbelief.
I blew out a breath in exasperation. I knew it was going to be hard to convince other people of my assumptions. They were probably going to think that grief had finally made me insane. That's why l chose to spare my family of this matter.
" My gut feeling tells me it's him! , " l quickly defended myself.
I heard her sigh in defeat. I could imagine her rolling her eyes at my stubbornness.
" So who are you suspecting?, " she asked in a weary voice.
I hesitated for a moment before sarcastically saying,
" Lucas Moretti !"
I already detested the name. Felicia gasped out loud at my words.
****
There were so many thoughts flying around my head as l laid in my bed that night. I tossed and turned multiple times in my blankets. I was having a hard time sleeping. My phone beeped on the bedside table and I reached for it.
Felicia had sent me Santiago's contact.
" Thanks. I owe you one," l typed back.
" Anything for you , sweetheart. Just don't do anything stupid. I know you can be a bit impulsive."
A smile broke out on my face. She was one hell of a good friend. She was always looking out for me.
" l promise l won't. "
I replaced the phone on the bedside table. I curled myself into a tight ball and snuggled deep into the warm blankets. I closed my eyes and tried to sleep again. Just when l was dozing off , l heard the door slightly creak open and l immediately woke up with a start.
The moon casted a pale light on Elena's small silhouette standing in the doorway. I quickly sat up and switched on the bedside lamp. A golden glow flooded the room.
My heart clenched in pain when l saw her. Tears were rolling down her chubby cheeks.
"Elena baby! What's wrong? ," l asked in a voice laced with worry .
She bursted into more tears. I opened my arms for her and she rushed into them sobbing. Her small arms wrapped around me so tightly. I cradled her small head on my chest and stroked her long ,dark hair,pressing light kisses all over her hair.
"It's okay sweetheart. You will be fine," l murmured against her hair as l blinked back my own tears.
Elena rarely cried. So l wondered what could have set her off the edge for her to cry like that. When she eventually calmed down, l tucked her in my blankets and wrapped my arms around her. I pressed a small kiss on her forehead.
" Tell mummy why you were crying earlier. You know how much l hate to see my baby girl sad, right? , " l said softly.
She raised her teary dark eyes to me and l noticed her lower lip trembling again like she was going to cry again.
" l had a scary nightmare , mummy. "
" Tell me about it."
Her eyes started to darken with tears again.
" Some giant scary monster was pulling me away from you. I was very scared," she said tearfully.
I wiped away a rolling tear on her cheeks and gathered her in my arms again.
" It's only a dream, baby. No one will ever separate us ," l assured her.
" Daddy is watching over us from the stars right?"
My heart skipped a beat. I gulped nervously. When Elena started asking why she was the only kid in class whose dad didn't show up on school events , l decided to tell her that her daddy died when she was still a little baby. I still painfully remembered how she had laid in her bed crying when l told her that.
" Mummy! "
Her voice broke into my thoughts. She was looking at me with her big , puppy eyes. I smiled widely at her.
" Who told you that?"
Her lips curled into a small smile.
" Grandma told me that when good people die they become a star . She told me that even if my dad is not here , he is still watching over us from the stars. "
I found myself smiling again. My baby was all grown up and l didn't realise it. I did not regret telling Elena that her father was dead. She was better off not knowing that bastard was still alive . My daughter deserved better.