THE FIRST THING I saw when I opened my eyes was blinding white lights. I blinked a couple of times to adjust my eyes as I skimmed across the room. Confusion swept over me as I couldn't recall a single memory. What was I doing in a hospital?
While looking across the room, my sight zeroed in on a brown floppy mass on the edge of my bed, making my eyes widen at what appeared to be a rat. The mere thought of a rat made shivers shoot down my spine and I couldn't understand why. Sure rats were the disgusting cousins of hamsters but why was I so terrified of something I had never actually seen before? I realized the creature before me was something worse than a rat, but I lightly nudged him anyway.
"Go away," he murmured, his voice muffled because although he was seated on a chair his face was pressed into my mattress. I lightly nudged him again but it was to no avail. "It took me seven hours to fall asleep on this rickety-ass chair. Don't wake me up unless Dan's awake."
"I'm awake."
My voice came out raspy and I grew a sudden need for thirst. Spotting a cup of water on the small table beside me, I extended my hand to grab it, bringing the paper cup close to my lips. As I was about to take a sip, my idiotic brother's head shot up in surprise, accidentally knocking the drink down.
"Holy shit you're alive."
I gave him a dry look. "Holy shit your sense of humour still sucks."
Instead of replying to my jab, he grabbed a plastic bottle of water from beside him and unscrewed the cap before handing it to me. I took a large sip, chugging all of its contents in a single swallow. "Should I call the nurse?" he asked. Brenton was usually the one being hospitalized for injuries sustained from sports so I wasn't surprised he had not a single clue what to do.
"What happened?" I croaked.
His forehead creased with worry lines. "That's what I'd like to know."
"How long was I out?"
Brenton gave me a pitiful look. "It's been six months..."
"W-what?"
"Brenton, stop being a dick," Niko's voice chorused as he and Alex entered the room. Alex sprinted in and jumped on my bed, smothering me in hugs. I patted his back as my youngest brother proceeded to squeeze the life out of me, not a single smart ass remark coming out of his mouth.
"We got you a stuffed pig!" he exclaimed, pointing at the toy and balloon in Niko's hands.
"Why a pig?" I asked as I stroked his hair.
"Because all you do is eat," he said with a snicker. Well, there went that heartfelt moment.
"How long was I out?" I repeated once Niko sat down at the foot of my bed.
"Two weeks," he answered solemnly.
My face paled and I shot up in my seat, which immediately resulted in my head getting fuzzy. Brenton extended his arm and slowly pushed me back. "We're just messing with you. It's been about a day, now stop moving."
Niko nodded as he grimaced. "You got some pretty bad injuries so try not to move."
"What do you mean? I feel perfectly fine."
Niko cocked an eyebrow. "You got a concussion and you were shot in the leg."
"But I feel fine," I pressed.
"It's called the magic of drugs," Brenton sang out.
Drugs. That word triggered a tsunami of memories that came flooding back at warp speed. Everything returned like missing pieces of a puzzle. The drug delivery, Scrawny and Goon, the guns, the motorcycle, James. James kept swirling through my mind and a part of me wanted to ask if he was here, but if he was he would have come in by now to see that I was awake. I didn't miss the confused looks on Brenton and Niko's faces as they eyed me weirdly but neither of them prodded.
"I'm guessing you remember," Niko said slowly.
I gulped. "Yeah."
I knew they were dying to ask me a million questions but before they could the door opened and a nurse walked in. She beamed brightly when she saw I was awake. "Hiya, sleepyhead! How was dreamland?"
Niko and Brenton bit back smiles and I glared at them. God, how I hated paediatric hospitals. "I'm fine."
"Is it okie dokie if I take a peek-a-boo at your boo boo?" she asked with a larger than life smile.
"Sure," I answered through gritted teeth.
She held a little light in front of me and told me to follow it with my eyes before asking some basic math questions. I didn't miss the taunts from my brothers when I messed up a simple question even Alex could answer with ease. When she was done she pulled down my blanket and lifted up my hospital gown, earning a gasp from the room.
"Is it that bad?" I asked, peering around at everyone's concerned expressions.
"I've never seen that many stitches in one place," Niko murmured.
Brenton grimaced. "That looks so fu—"
The nurse shot a dirty look at him.
"Funky?" he amended with a weak smile.
Alex was the only one with a genuine grin on his face. "I think it looks cool!"
I smiled at him. "You think so?"
He nodded. "It's gonna make such a cool scar!"
My smile instantly melted. "Scar?"
"I'm sorry, pumpkin," the nurse said, her excessively perky aura diminishing. "It's a pretty nasty injury so you're going to have some scarring."
"Great." It seemed like shorts were a thing of the past for me now.
"Is she free to go now?" Niko asked, changing the topic.
The nurse shook her head. "The doctor wants to keep Daniella here for one more night to run some tests and monitor her concussion. Other than that you'll be perfectly fine, so long as you're resting and not putting extra stress on yourself." She handed me a tray I hadn't noticed she brought in with her before leaving the room. The tray consisted of jello, a sandwich, an apple, and my dearly beloved...good old chocolate milk.
"I call dibs on the rest," Brenton barked, snatching the tray from my hands after I took the milk.
Niko smacked the back of his head. "Let her eat, dumb ass."
I shook my head. "I'm not that hungry."
"Can you tell us what happened now?" Alex asked from where he was sitting on my bed.
I looked at my brothers to see their reactions, and they were all staring back at me with raised eyebrows. I took in a breath before talking. I told them about James' past, Helena's accident, the deliveries, and then I fast-forwarded it to his concerns about paying his tuition fees, the text I saw, and the delivery. All three of my brothers had blank expressions on their faces when I was done.
Niko buried his face in his hands. "I can't believe I let you go yesterday. I should have made you stay."
I extended my arm and lowered his hands. "Niko, there's no way you could have known."
"I'm sorry for not protecting you as I should have."
I squeezed my big brother's hand. "Don't apologize, it was all my fault."
I peeked over at Alex, whose eyes were wide. I was expecting him to spew a hundred different questions but there appeared to be only one burning inquiry in his mind. "Did you get the money?"
My lips pulled into a straight line. "No."
Niko and Alex continued asking questions but my eyes fell over to my twin. Brenton would never abandon food in front of him, but the whole tray was left untouched as he stared at the wall, lost in thought. I placed my hand on his knee, his head shooting up in surprise, the sight of how fast he was moving practically giving me whiplash.
"Are you okay?" I asked nervously, not really sure what exactly he was thinking.
"I'm killing that bastard," he said, his entire body fuming.
"But it was my fault," I explained. "I was the one who decided to be an idiot. None of that was James' fault."
"Why are you still defending him? He broke up with you, he didn't give a shit that you almost died, and he's not even here to see if you're okay!" Brenton shouted.
"I..."
"You what?" Brenton snapped. "For once stop arguing with me and realize I'm right about all the shitty guys in your life."
"Brenton," Niko said in a warning tone.
My twin narrowed his eyes at Niko. "You always take her side."
Niko cocked an eyebrow. "When you almost die I'll take your side, how about that?"
He shook his head and scoffed at us. "I'm out of here." Just like the wind, Brenton rose to his feet and disappeared out of my room.
"He'll come around," Niko said sympathetically.
"He's right," I murmured, unable to make eye contact.
I heard metal scraping the ground as Niko moved his chair closer to my bed. "Daniella Evangeline Parker, look at me."
Suppressing a groan, I looked up at my brother. "What, Nikolas?"
"Brenton's a dumb ass," he started. "But he cares a lot for you. We were all stressed the hell out for the past day wondering if you'd wake up or not, but Brent was a mess. He didn't leave the hospital waiting room once, he's still in his goddamn uniform for crying out loud." Niko paused. "They won, by the way. There was a huge party last night but he refused to go because I told him you went home. When he couldn't find you and you weren't answering his calls... I've never seen him so panicked and worried in my life." He glanced at my reaction before continuing. "You know you're my favourite..."
"Hey!" Alex cried.
Niko grabbed the sandwich from my tray and shoved it in Alex's mouth to silence him. "But no one loves you as much as your twin does."
I felt tears well up in my eyes. Niko was absolutely right. Sure Brenton was an absolute pain in the ass, but ever since we were kids until now he was always there for me. As much as it pained me to admit it, Brenton was my best friend. He wasn't actually mad at me, he was letting his worry voice into anger because he was mad at himself for not protecting me. When Dad left, Brenton promised he'd always be there for me no matter what. Instead of appreciating and reciprocating that love as I should have, I let him leave.
"We have to find him," I urged.
Niko shrugged his shoulders. "I don't think he's going to get too far without these." He swung his car keys around on his fingers, a smirk on his face.
Much like Niko had predicted, Brenton trudged back in the room and it wasn't until now I noticed his muddied-up uniform and the gold medal sitting around his neck. He stuck out his hand, palm facing upwards, as he scowled at Niko.
"Alex, let's check out the vending machines," the aforementioned brother said, leading Alex out of my room and shutting the door. Brenton wordlessly turned around to leave but Niko was standing on the other side holding the doorknob, which meant we were stuck in here until we talked things out.
"Brenton," I said in a low voice.
"If you're going to yell at me I don't want to hear it."
"Sit," I urged, patting the mattress on the bed.
Ignoring my request, he sat on the chair he was sitting on previously. "What do you want?"
"I'm sorry." When he didn't react I continued talking. "You were right, okay? About Dad, every boy I liked, and maybe James too. I'm an idiot for not listening to you and I'm sorry for the constant worry and stress I put you through." He still wasn't making eye contact with me but he also didn't attempt to leave the room so I was hoping it was a good sign. "You're everything to me, Brent. Whenever things got bad I knew I'd be okay because I had you by my side. Since we were born until now you're the most important person to me, you're my brother, best friend, guide, supporter, call it what you want. Hell, you were more of a parent to me than Mom and Dad combined." I let out a sigh. "I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm sorry. I know I can be a mega bitch but I love you, and I don't want you to ever think any differently. Even though I was born seventeen minutes before you, you're definitely the older sibling."
Brenton was staring at the ground but when he finally looked up I saw his swollen and puffy eyes. Without a warning he punched my arm, making me gasp in shock and pain. "You have no idea how goddamn scared I was. You weren't home, you weren't answering your phone, no one had seen you since the game... I thought you left me." His voice cracked at the end of his sentence. To make up for his display of emotions he punched my arm again "I don't know what I would have done with myself if I lost you. You're so lucky you nearly died or I'd kill you myself."
I let out a soft chuckle and Brenton laughed too, a few tears rolling down his cheeks. My laughter died down and was replaced with a frown. "I'm sorry."
"Don't be," he dismissed. "And I guess if you really don't want me killing that jackass then I won't."
I gave him a grateful smile. "Thank you."
"No more fights?" he asked.
I rolled my eyes. "We're twins, Brent. We're fighting to the grave." I paused, my eyes flickering to the medal around his neck. "Congrats on the win, by the way."
He grinned at me. "Guess who has a full freaking scholarship to Birch Mount?"
I grabbed his hand and squeezed it. "I'm so proud of you," I told him and I meant it.
He reached over to hug me, and just as he did the door burst open. "Do I smell a Parker pileup?" Niko sang.
"Parker pileup!" Alex screamed as he charged at us and jumped on top of Brenton. As if that wasn't bad enough, Niko joined him, all three of my brothers stacked on me.
"Get off," I whined.
"Come on, Dan, I thought you love me," Brenton teased, earning a smack from me.
"Get the hell off of me," I groaned.
"What's the magic word?" Niko chided.
"Boys, get off of her right now." My ears perked at the new voice and so did my brothers' as they got up and returned to their respective spots. Once Brenton's oversized head was out of the way I saw my mom standing in the doorway. "You're awake," she said though it sounded more like a statement than a question.
I meekly nodded, unsure of what to say. This was our first conversation since our fight.
"I expect the full story when I get home."
"I was jumped," I lied straight through my teeth.
"The neighbour told me a different story." She paused. "We'll discuss when you're discharged." Mom looked at my brothers before turning around and walking out. Wordlessly, the three of them stood up and trailed after her.
"We're getting yelled at about something," Brenton grumbled. "I don't know what but I can't wait to find out."
"You have a few more visitors," Niko told me. He ruffled my hair before following the other two out.
As soon as they stepped out, Amber and Holden entered the room. I assumed there was a capacity on the number of visitors and these two were just waiting for their turns. Amber squealed and threw her arms over me.
"I'm so glad you're okay! But you're an absolute idiot."
"Tell her something she doesn't know," Holden said from behind her. I flipped him off which only made him chuckle. "I'm glad you're okay, Parker."
"Congrats on the win, Rollins."
He grinned. "I can't wait to have one of the Parkers harass me at Birch Mount for the next four years."
I placed my hand on my chest in mock sympathy. "You poor thing."
"Who cares about school?" Amber interrupted. "How are you feeling?"
I shot her a lazy grin. "Great. They really didn't hold back on doping me up with drugs."
Amber rolled her eyes. "You had us really worried."
"I'm sorry," I told her, and I really did mean it. It hurt to realize that I caused so much pain to the people I loved when they didn't deserve any of it. I felt like an idiot for ever partaking in the delivery last night. Had I just stayed at the game I could have spared a lot of worry, and I could have avoided the bullet hole in my goddamn leg.
"Don't do something stupid like that again," she warned.
I smiled at her. "I'll try not to."
"Want us to get you food?" Holden asked, gesturing to the remaining apple and jello on my tray.
"I'm okay," I assured him.
Amber twirled a lock of hair, a nervous look on her face. "We should get going."
"But you just got here," I whined. Seeing Amber without her other half was a rarity I seldom got these days.
"You have another visitor," she said quietly.
Oh my God, James was here. I tried to stay composed and not show them just how excited I was that he came to see me. At the same time I hated how over the moon I was. I was supposed to be mad at him. He broke my heart, but he did also kind of sort maybe save my life yesterday... I rid any lingering thoughts of James out of my head and tried to look as stoic as possible.
Amber and Holden both hugged me goodbye before leaving. I held in my breath as they left, my eyes fixated on the door as I waited for him to enter. When he stepped in the room my heart dropped... but not in a good way.
"I brought you this." He raised a box of gummy worms, my favourite candy.
I swallowed hard. "Dad."
"Mind if I sit?"
I couldn't even get a word out of my mouth, so he took it as an affirmative and sat on one of the metal chairs by my bed. "How'd you know I was here?" I asked, now able to form a string of coherent words.
"My daughter— stepdaughter," he corrected immediately. "She, uh, she works here on weekends."
"Monica." Referring to that bitch as his stepdaughter filled my mouth with a bitter taste.
"You know?" he asked, slightly startled.
"I know about everything."
"I didn't even know Moni was seeing your brother. I would have stopped it sooner had I known," he testified, a frown on his face.
I didn't really care for his explanation, but what had me more taken aback was his atrocious nickname for Monica. Moni kind of sounded like Dani, which was the nickname he had created for me. As if I didn't already believe it, this conversation confirmed that he had definitely moved on.
"I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about why you abandoned us," I snapped, my tone much harsher than intended.
His frowned deepened, his wrinkles becoming more prominent. "I see you found out."
"How could you?" I demanded, trying to keep my tears at bay. "You betrayed Mom and our family. You betrayed me." Despite the nurse's orders to relax I sat bolt upright, my body fuelling with anger. "Look me in the eyes and tell me how you could do that to us."
He sighed. "Dani, nothing I can say will ever excuse my actions."
"Why the hell are you here then?"
His eyes widened at my question. "My daughter almost died!"
"So I'm only your daughter when I'm on my deathbed," I mused.
"Please, I just want to fix things. I understand I made mistakes but you have to understand I am so sorry about everything."
My heart ached but I knew I couldn't let him back in. Despite everything, Mom was there for me when he wasn't and I couldn't let him back in that easily. I had all the family I needed, and there was nothing he could give me that I didn't already have. "You had five years to realize your mistake. If you truly loved us you would've come back sooner, not after I showed up at your door or when you found out Niko was dating Monica. I don't need your pity, and I don't want you in my life anymore."
"Dani, I'm your father," he exclaimed incredulously.
I shook my head. "I don't have a father. I think you should leave, Peter."
He frowned. "Don't do this, Dani."
I turned away from him so he couldn't see the tears spilling down my face. It hurt every part of me to do this when I wanted nothing more than to reunite our family, but it was clear now more than ever that he didn't deserve to come back. "Get out before I call the nurse."
I heard him sigh loudly before leaving. It wasn't until the door shut behind him did I let out all the tears I had been holding in. I pulled my knees to my chest and sobbed, accepting the fact that I was never seeing my dad again. When I heard the creaking of the door, I quickly wiped my face with the back of my hand, unwilling to let him see me cry. I didn't want him to know how much he had hurt me. My breath caught in my throat when I looked ahead, not expecting to see James standing there.