I keep my silence, hoping Luke will leave after calming down without saying anything.
But he speaks.
"How could you be so careless?" he says.
That makes me angry.
"I was not careless. You can't possibly think what happened was my fault?"
"You got yourself cornered in there. He could've hurt you," he says.
You know how sometimes you get so angry you feel like you're about to cry? I feel like that now.
"Luke, I don't know what impression you have of me is. But neither was I careless nor was I helpless. My father is a Beta. So is yours. You should know I could've handled the situation. We're the same."
"No. We are not," he says right away.
His words pierce through me like a keen arrow.
"Fine. We are not. I'm sorry I was careless and helpless. It won't happen again. Thanks for helping me," I tell him. At this point, I'll say anything to make him leave.
"Sarcasm doesn't suit you," he says.
"So now you know not only what I am and what I'm not, but also what suits me and what doesn't?"
"I know you're upset with me, Rose. But whether you like it or not, we are mates. My wolf can't stay calm if we find you in danger."
I turn away. "It's your problem, not mine," I say.
"Why are you making it difficult for us?" he asks.
I turn back to him. "I am the one making it difficult? Really? You even remember the day we found out we are mates? We agreed to reject each other and move on. I kept my end of the agreement. You did, too – for a while. But then you started d–" I look outside my window as my voice starts to shake. I take a deep breath and blink to keep the tears at bay. "You need to stop acting like you're my mate."
"But I am you m–"
"It's over, Luke. That's what rejecting each other means. We're no longer mates."
"Then why did you let me touch you that night?" he asks.
"I wavered for a moment. That's all."
"It was not for a moment," he says. "If Claire hadn't d–"
"What do you want, Luke?! What do you want from me? Why are we even having this conversation? I'm confused," I say, looking back at him.
"I need you to stop ignoring me. I called you. I sent you messages. But you avoided me."
Luke tried to contact me after the day we camped. I didn't want to know what he had to say. I was feeling miserable enough already, I didn't need him to add more to the misery.
"Okay. I'm here now. I'm not ignoring you. What is it you want to say?"
He looks out the windshield. "It can wait," he says.
"No. I'm done waiting. Let's get this over with once and for all. Then I won't have to see you again."
Luke hits the car door, startling me. "You know, Rose, you can be really mean sometimes. Is that what you want? Not to see me ever again?"
"Then what do you think I want?"
He looks back out the windshield and breathes out. "I wanted to ask you out. That's why I called."
I laugh bitterly. "You want to cheat on your girlfriend with m–"
"We broke up," he says. "I broke up with her right after you left the carnival with him. Seeing you with Andy, I couldn't – I just lost it. I couldn't imagine a future where you were not mine. And I didn't want to be with anyone else while I had feelings for you."
He continues, "I didn't know how to approach you after that. I didn't want you to reject me a second time. But I thought after the night at the camp maybe you felt the same way about me, so I wanted to see if I had a chance."
He turns to me. "But you never took my calls or replied to my messages. I thought you were angry because I'd somehow hurt you that night, but I guess now I know – you just don't want me."
I avoid his gaze with tears running down my cheeks.
"Tell me I'm wrong, Rose," he says. "I want us to be together. Don't you want the same?"
He reaches out his hand. I put up my arm between us. "No, please," I tell him amidst my crying. I don't want him to touch me. "I'm sorry, Luke. I can't."
He stays a few more minutes in the car, listening to my crying, then leaves.
––––
"It's all because of you," I say to Claire. My eyes are swollen and red from crying.
We are at home. It's just us. Everyone else has gone outside.
"How is it my fault?"
"If you and Ben hadn't gotten together, Luke wouldn't have thought of something like this."
"You know what, Rose? You're losing it. What Ben and I have has nothing to do with how Luke feels about you. You both are mates for crying out loud. Luke doesn't need any other reason to fall for you. You are the same. Tell me, don't you like him, too?"
"But we stayed away from each other like we all agreed to – all four of us!"
"Well, maybe it's time we accept how foolish that agreement was!"
"And then what? I go out with Luke behind everyone's back like you are going out with Ben? Isn't it enough that one of us is risking it already?"
"I told you that day, Rose, that we're going to get hurt no matter what we decide. But if we choose our mates, at least we won't suffer alone."
I shake my head. "You're selfish, Claire. You just don't want to be the only one to choose your mate over your pack."
"Is that what you really think? Fine. As usual, I'll be the bad guy and you be the goody two shoes. Don't come crying to me when you start to regret your choices," she says and walks away to her room.
Somewhere in the back of my mind, I know it's wrong of me to take it out on Claire, but I no longer feel like myself.
Everything is messed up.
––––
"What happened? I've never seen you both like this," my mom says.
Claire and I have gone without speaking for five days now. This is the longest I've not spoken to her for. I never thought things would get this screwed up, but they did. We can't take back what we said to one another.
"I don't want to talk about it," I say.
My mom shakes her head. "Whatever it is Rose, at least talk about it to her. Avoiding each other like this is not healthy."
"Why should I be the one to talk first?"
"Why shouldn't you be? You can be a better person and reach out first."
"I don't want to be a better person."
My mom sighs and gives up.
In the past few days, our families, especially our brothers, failed multiple times to bring peace between me and Claire.
They didn't realize we could be this stubborn. Heck, even I didn't realize we could be this stubborn.
To make matters worse, I didn't hear from Luke again. Not that I was expecting to. And I'm pretty sure Claire has stopped seeing Ben.
After school, we both are at home only. Neither of us leaves our house to hang out outside. Who will we hang out with?
If she's not seeing Ben only to appease me, it's not going to work. I need more than that. We both made the promise together to stay away from those two Hill River boys. But she broke it. At the time, I let it slide, because life didn't seem so serious like it does now.
––––
After eating a late-night snack and watching a horror movie, I turn off the TV and put away the dishes. Claire and I did this every Friday night. She didn't join me tonight.
Just as I turn off the kitchen light, it comes – a sharp pain in my lower abdomen.
I hold onto the wall, unable to stand straight. I start to breathe faster and my body starts to feel hot. I know what's happening to me. I've seen it happen to Claire.
I immediately open the fridge and take out a water bottle. I finish drinking it before climbing up the stairs.
By the time I reach Claire's room, I can barely stand. Before I could touch the doorknob, the pain suddenly peaks. I clutch my stomach and crouch down. "Claire!" I say in agony.
In a second, the door opens. "Shit!" she says. She helps me up and takes me to her bed. But I slide down to the floor before she could put me on it. She helps me sit against a leg of the bed and takes out a black bag from under the mattress. It's the same bag Ben gave her.
She fills the syringe and injects it in my neck. I don't feel the needle. My whole body is in so much pain that I can't even perceive the sensation of a needle prick.
Once I start to feel the effect of the drug, I lie down on the floor on my side, curving my back. Claire lies down with me.
After a minute, she says, "You get inhibitors from own your mate, now. I won't share my stash."
I stare at her for a few seconds, and then start laughing. She laughs with me, bringing me closer to her in a hug.
"I'm sorry I broke our promise," she whispers.
"I'm sorry, too," I tell her. I should've opened up to Claire more and been more understanding of her. And I should've done the same with Luke.