"Hey, you."
"Shit!" I was shocked when someone kissed my cheek from behind while I was busy reading my book about Business Law. Muntik ko nang masapak ah!
"Oh, chill," Jericho said, laughing with both of his hands up in the air. "It's just me," dagdag niya at umupo sa tabi ko.
It's been four days since that night in Espanyol. Lagi na siyang pumupunta dito sa café mag-isa. I tried my best to not feel awkward anymore, and I feel like I'm doing a great job at that.
Makapal lang ang mukha ko noong gabi na iyon dahil nakainom ako. Hindi ko tuloy alam kung magpapasalamat ako sa alak o maiinis.
"What are you doing here again?" Lagi ko siyang tinatanong nito.
"Nothing," he replied. That was his response for the past four days.
We weren't doing anything. Mag-uusap lang kami, kakain at tatambay sa may dagat kapag natapos akong mag-aral. But now, I feel more comfortable with his presence.
Pinabayaan ko na lang siya. I looked back at my book and started reading.
"Oh? Business law?" Echo asked, looking at my book.
"Yeah."
"What's your major again?" he asked again, his voice laced with curiosity. I shifted my gaze from the book to him.
"Business Economics," sagot ko. "You?" I asked, getting curious too.
He told me that he wanted to take BPTC after he graduate, so I was curious what was his course now. Business kaya? Possible. May kompanya kasi sila. Hindi ko lang alam kung siya ba ang magma-manage no'n or si Kuya Arthur, his older brother.
"Business Management," he said. I nodded. "We had Business Law when I was in third year. So...."
"Oh, yeah. Of course," I replied with a shrug and looked back at my book.
I can't focus, though.
"La Salle ka, 'di ba?" tanong niya.
I nodded without looking at him. "Yup, third year." I wasn't sure if what school siya. "You? Enderun ka, right?"
"Yeah. Graduating na!" he said excitedly. "UP dapat ako kasi inaya ako ni Maki para raw magkasama kami. Papayag na sana ako, naka-enroll na, actually, pero sa huli na-realize namin na iba kami ng course kaya hindi pala kami magkasama kaya nag-Enderun ako."
"Yup, definitely sounds like something the both of you would do. You never check first. Game lang nang game," I agreed, shaking my head. "Bakit ba hindi kayo mapaghiwalay?"
"Ewan. Masyado akong mahal ng mokong na iyon, eh. Puro 'Jericho, sasamahan mo 'ko bukas.' 'Bro, nilutuan kita pagkain.' 'Binilhan na kita ng ganito ganiyan.' And many more! Baka nafa-fall na sa akin iyon!" He laughed hysterically.
"He's such a cutie." Hindi ko rin napigilan matawa.
"Maalaga. Hindi nga lang minamahal," he stated. I laughed louder and pinched him before scolding him. "Oo na, hindi na! Araynaman!" Hinimas niya ang braso niya.
"Be kind to Maki," sabi ko.
"Mabait naman ako sa kaniya!" depensa niya bago nginuso ang libro ko. "I can help you if you want."
Nginitian ko naman siya. "No, it's fine. I'm just reading to past time," I said and shrugged after that.
"I know a fun way to pass time." He wiggled his brows. Naramdaman ko naman na namula ako sa sinabi niya.
"Bastos ka!" singhal ko habang pinupokpok ang libro sa ulo niya. He chuckled while stopping my hand.
"Hala! I meant surf!" he defended, his hand was now holding the book. He placed it on the table bago lumapit sa tainga ko. "Hmm, but we can do what you're thinking," he whispered and kissed the back of my ear.
Hindi ako nakaimik sa sensayon na dala ng ginawa niya. He laughed and shook his head when he saw my reaction.
"Nah. Come on, surf tayo." He stood up. Sinimangutan ko siya, naiinis sa hindi malaman na dahilan. "What? Mamaya na kita lalandiin, babe." Kinindatan niya ako.
Inismiran ko siya bago tumayo. Kinuha niya ang mga gamit ko sa lamesa at tinulak ako para maunang maglakad. Hinampas ko naman siya dahil muntik na akong mawalan ng balanse. He just laughed at me.
This guy is so mean! And annoying!
He raised a brow, smirking, when I glared at him. I let out an annoyed sigh before signaling him to follow me upstairs. Kawawa naman siya kung maiiwang siyang mag-isa dito sa baba.
Binuksan ko ang pinto at pumasok. Sumunod naman siya. I took my textbooks from him and placed it on the table beside my bed.
"Your room looks cute," Echo said while looking around the room.
"Thanks. Extra room lang 'to rito. May bahay kami diyan sa malapit," I said. Naalala ko na 'di pa pala ako nakabisita sa kabilang bahay. Wala rin naman kasing tao roon.
"Yeah, I remember. Hinahatid kita dati, 'di ba?" ngumisi siya. Kumunot ang noo ko, hindi naalala iyon.
"When?" I asked. He shrugged, smirking a bit. Hindi ko nalang pinilit. "Upo ka," sabi ko at tinuro ang sofa. Tinalikuran ko siya at lumapit sa closet para maghanap ng one piece.
Hindi siya sumagot pero naramdaman ko na lumapit siya sa 'kin. I felt his arms encircled my waist from behind. He was back hugging me.
Napahinto ang kamay ko sa ginagawa at dinama ang yakap niya sa akin. He kissed my shoulder, then my neck and stayed there for a while.
"Go on," he urged, shaking my body a bit.
Natauhan ako at nagpatuloy sa paghahanap ng one piece. He started planting kisses on my neck again. I felt him suck on it a bit, making the hair on my nape stand up. Madali kong kinuha ang white one piece at kinalas ang yakap niya sa 'kin.
"Magbibihis muna ako," sabi ko at halos tumakbo na ako papunta sa bathroom.
I looked at myself at the mirror and saw that I looked like a tomato!
What the hell?!
Nagbihis ako at tinali ang buhok ko. It took me awhile before going out. I felt a bit nervous again! Paglabas ko nakita kong nakatayo siya sa harap ng table and he was holding a frame. Lumapit ako para makita kung anong picture iyon.
It was a group photo of us. Kaming apat na babae, siya, Marco, and... Kito.
Oh.
"I miss him," sabi ko, nakatingin na rin sa frame.
"Yeah. I miss him too," halos pabulong na ang pagsabi niya nito.
"It wasn't your fault, Echo," I reminded and hugged him sideways. He hugged me back with one arm only and kissed the top of my head.
He let out a sigh. "It was."
Kito and I weren't that close since tahimik talaga ako noong bata pa kami at kay Cali lang talaga ako nakadikit. Tulad ni Jericho, maingay rin si Kito. He was very close to them, like brothers. He was our friend... He was my friend. He was one of us. But he left us.
"I clearly remember what happened that day. Kung hindi ako nag-aya, he would still be here." The sadness and guilt was evident in his tone.
I remembered it too. I was seventeen when it happened. It was during our summer break. It was a very boring and sunny day kaya nag-aya si Echo ng surf. Syempre, pumayag naman kami kasi lahat kami na bobored na noon.
"Guys, don't go there," Echo said while pointing somewhere. "Papasok ang wave roon. It's very dangerous. Please, listen to me." Tumalikod na siya at nag-paddle palayo.
"Nah, bro! We could handle!" pahabol na sigaw ni Kito. Lumingon siya sa amin. "He's just paranoid," dagdag niya, umiiling at tumatawa ng kaunti bago nagsimulang mag-paddle.
"Tigas talaga ng ulo," narinig kong bulong ni Cali sa tabi ko at sumampa na rin sa board niya.
We were surfing for hours already, but I was still hyped because the waves were super great. Nagkahiwahiwalay kami sa dagat. Jericho, Marco and Sasy were on the other side, riding the wild waves. I was with Cali and Raya on the much more shallow part of the sea, where the waves were tame and easy to handle. Ayaw ko kasi doon sa malaki na alon.
I looked around, finding Kito.
"Go, Sasy!" sigaw ni Raya. Lumingon si Sasy at biglang nahulog sa board niya. "Nilingon lang ako, na-fall na!"
"The confidence, Raya!" I commented. Nagtawanan kami pero napahinto noong may narinig kaming humiyaw galing sa itaas ng board walk.
"Diyos ko! Ang bata!" sigaw noong matanda at may tinuro sa malayo, takot na takot ang hitsura. "Tulungan niyo!"
Out of curiosity, we all looked. I wasn't able to move. I felt my body went cold. I was left sitting on the board in shock.
Kito's board was on the water... and he wasn't in it. We knew it was his because of the designs on the surfboard. We couldn't be mistaken.
"Shit! Tigas ng ulo!" Echo paddled so fast without a doubt.
"Putang ina, Kito!" mura naman ni Marco at nagmadali rin sa pag-paddle. I even saw Sasy making her way there too.
"Guys, delikado diyan!" sigaw ni Raya pero hindi nakinig ang tatlo at dumiretso pa rin doon para hanapin si Kito.
I was immobile for a moment. Pero noong napalingon ako sa tabi ko at nakita si Cali na namumutla habang nakaupo na sa board, I took a deep calm myself and paddled towards her. Raya immediately did the same.
When I saw tears rolling down Cali's cheeks, I started panicking inside. I looked away at the sight of her crying.
"He would be okay, right?" she asked and pointed at our friends, her hands shaking a bit. I saw Raya's older brother, Kuya Elo, and Luca, our friend, na papalapit doon para tumulong.
Nagkatinginan kami ni Raya at sabay na sumagot, "Oo."
They succeeded in finding Kito. But... it was too late. He left us. Just like that... He was gone. I wanted to scold him for not listening to us but I know that whatever I do... he was never coming back.
Kito died a common death among surfers. Sumabit ang leash niya sa bato kaya ito natanggal sa paa niya. Lumakas ang alon kaya hindi siya agad nakaahon at nalayo ang board niya, which caused him to drown.
That's what we chose to believe.
"You warned us, Echo," I told him, reminding him that he warned us before we went into the water.
"Yeah, but if I didn't invite you all for a surfing session then..." He paused, not finding the right words to say. "Tara na nga." He started to walk but I pulled his arm to stop him. He looked at me and raised a brow.
"I'm here." I gave him a meaningful smile.
"I know." He returned my smile and nodded before pulling me out of the room.
Bumaba kami at nakita sila Cali doon, mukhang kakatapos lang kumain. Hindi naman sila nakatingin sa amin. Sana hindi sila lumingon!
"Hala, sorry!" narinig kong sabi ni Sasy.
"Ano ba naman, Sas!" reklamo ni Raya noong natapunan siya ng Iced Coffee.
"Ano ba naman, Sas!" panggagaya sa kaniya ni Sasy kaya binato siya ni Raya ng tissue.
"Epal! Epal! Epal!" paulit-ulit na sabi ni Raya, naiinis na.
"Pagmumukha mo ang epal!" ganti naman ni Sasy at dumila.
Napalingon si Cali sa kung saan kami nakatayo ni Jericho. Her eyes widened and shock was very evident in her face. She pointed at us, making the others look our way.
Okay, nakita kami.
"Hoy?!" patanong na sigaw ni Raya. "Ba't kayo magkasama sa taas?!"
"Secret," natatawang sagot ni Echo.
"Safety, ehem." Sasy smirked at me, massaging her throat. "Ah, medyo masakit."
"Bilhan na ba kita, bro?" Marco asked, teasingly.
"Ulol. Tingin mo wala ako niyan?" sarkastikong sabi ni Jericho.
Nagsimula silang maghiyawan. Nanlaki naman ang mata ko sa gulat. What the fuck?! What was he trying to imply?!
"We're going surfing. Sama kayo?" pagpapalit ni Jericho ng topic. His hand slid on my waist. Gulat pa rin ako kaya hindi ako gumalaw.
"G!" sabi ni Sasy at tumayo.
"Hay salamat. Na kompleto rin tayo!" sabi ni Raya at tumayo na.
"Hindi kaya," bulong ni Cali.
Tumikhim naman si Marco. "Tara!" masaya niyang sambit para mapagaan ang paligid.
Kinuha ko muna ang longboard ko bago sumunod sa kanila papunta sa beach.
"You alright, Cal?" tanong ko habang nagsusuot siya ng leash sa tabi ko. Mukhang natauhan siya bigla at natarantang sumagot.
"Yeah, I'm fine!" She stood up.
"You know, it's okay to not be okay, right?" I wanted her to know that I'm here for her. Always. I love her like that.
"Yes, I know. Thank you, Ari." Niyakap niya ako bago hinila papunta sa dagat.
Nauna na iyong iba kaya medyo malayo na sila sa amin. Cali and I paddled together to the other side, sa mas mababaw. I lifted my hand and waved when I saw some of our high school classmates.
"His birthday is approaching, by the way," Cali said. I know who she was pertaining to.
"Yeah, the usual. Bisita tayo sa sementeryo."
"What life would he be living kung hindi siya... nawala?" her voice was sounded so fragile. She sat on the board waiting for a wave to come. Gumaya naman ako.
"Pro surfer probably. Hilig niya, eh," I said. "And kayo na siguro," pang-aasar ko pa.
"Siguro?" she asked, confused. "He doesn't even like me. He rejected me on prom night, Esme! Nakakahiya talaga 'yon!"
"Really?" nagdududa kong tanong. Hindi iyon ang alam ko. Or maybe what I've heard was wrong. I don't know. May ibang mundo talaga ako noong high school.
"Whatever the truth is, I'm just happy that I had a best friend like him even for a short moment. It's been more than five years already. I've learned to move forward because I know that's what he wants for me." She looked up at the sky, sadness very evident in her eyes.
"Take your time in healing, Cali," I comforted.
She smiled at me. "Oo naman. Pero kung nandito pa siguro 'yon, baka hindi ko nagawa 'yong mga bagay na nagawa ko dati. Paniguradong masaya lang ako. But I know things happen for a reason."
We surfed for the whole afternoon and finished around four P.M. As always, nauna kami ni Cali natapos mag-surf. Sumunod naman si Raya na nakabusangot. Halos padabog niyang nilapag ang board sa buhangin. Her left thigh was bleeding.
"What happened?" I asked, worried.
"Tangina na Lucas! Akala ko tatamaan ako kaya tumalon ako sa board. Nasa mababaw na pala kami!" Naiirita siyang bumuntong-hininga bago pinunasan ang binti.
"It looks painful." Ngumiwi ako noong nawala ng kaunti ang dugo at nakita ang mahaba scratch doon.
"Oo! At ang gago, tinawanan lang ako. Ni hindi man lang ako tinulungan! Hindi pa nag-sorry! She tsked.
I laughed.
"May Finley pa! Ugh! Mga lalake talaga, walang ginawang tama!"" irita niyang dagdag. Finley was our schoolmate before. "Ay, teka. Malapit na pala birthday ni Kianu boy."
"Oo. Ano? The usual na naman tayo?" She nodded at me.
"Kita mo 'yang tatlo. Masyadong seryoso ngayon," sabi niya at tinuro sila Echo, Marco at Sasy na nasa malayo.
"Echo's really blaming himself," I said quietly.
"Marco is still devastated. Best friend niya 'yon. Pero sinusubukan naman niyang tanggapin," si Cali. "Well, we don't really have a choice but to accept it."
"Binuhos na ang buong oras sa pagsusurf, hilig ni Kito, eh. 'Yan na lang daw magagawa nila kasi 'di nila natulungan. Kung binilisan lang daw nila, edi sana naagapan siya," Raya said.
We looked at each other and sighed. Tiningnan namin ang tatlo at napabuntong-hininga ulit.
Nag-usap kami habang hinihintay sila. Hindi nagtagal, lumapit na si Sasy at Marco sa amin. Tumingin ako sa likod nila at hinanap si Jericho.
"Oh? Ba't ang dali niyo natapos?" tanong ni Raya sabay tingin sa hita niya. The bleeding stopped already. "Salamat, lord. Huminto na!"
"Gutom na kami," sagot ni Maki.
"Where's Echo?"
Tinuro nila ang dagat at nakita ko si Echo na sinasakyan ang alon. Malalaki na iyon ngayon dahil sobrang high tide na. Ang seryoso niya habang ginagawa ang tricks sa malayo.
"'Yon, biglang nawala sa mood." Marco messed his hair. Tumalsik 'yong tubig nang kaunti.
I sighed and got my board. Babalik ako sa dagat para puntahan si Echo. Malapit na mag gabi. Hindi na safe.
"Oh, babalik ka?" nagtatakang tanong ni Cali. I nodded and went to the ocean. Marami pang tao ang nag-susurf ngayon pero nasa kabilang side sila, kung saan hindi malakas ang alon.
"Mag ingat ka, Esme! Ang lakas na ng alon!" sigaw ni Marco. "Lintik ako ang mapapatay nito..."
I continued paddling. I pushed my board down, lifting my body a bit when a wave approached my way. Hinanap ko si Echo sa gitna ng malalaki na alon. Noong 'di ko siya nakita, nag-paddle ako papunta sa malayo.
Asan na ba iyon?
Wala pang wave kaya umupo na lang muna ako sa board at naghintay. I was staring at the now calm water. I run my hands on top of it while thinking. Masyadong malalim ang iniisip ko kaya 'di ko namalayan na may alon na pala.
Nahulog ako sa board. Nagulat ako at nasama sa pagdaloy ng tubig. Sinubukan kong lumangoy pataas pero parang may humihila sa 'kin pababa. My eyes widened when I saw my leash stuck below a big rock. Sumakit ng mata ko dahil sa tubig.
Shit!
Lumagoy ako pababa at pilit na tinulak ang malaking bato na nakapatong sa leash ko. Hindi ako nagtagumpay sa unang subok. I didn't give up. I tried shoving the rock again, but the water kept slamming against my body. Harder and stronger each time.
I had a hard time breathing as my system was starting to be filled with panic. Sumakit na rin ang mga mata ko dahil pinipilit kong imulat 'to. Pumikit ako noong hindi na nakayanan ang sakit.
Ayaw kong tanggalin ang leash sa paa ko kasi paniguradong mawawala ang board ko at kakainin ako ng alon. And I don't want that to happen.
Napasinghap ako sa gulat noong nakitang natanggal ang leash ko sa paa. I drank some water because my lips were parted.
No... no... no!
I was coughing, which just made me drink more of the sea water. Halos murahin ko na ang sarili sa inis. I wanted to swim up but I couldn't think straight. I was suddenly thinking of the possibility that I was going to die. Mas nag-panic lang ako!
Napamulat ako noong may humawak sa baywang ko at galit ako na sinampa sa surf board. Napaubo ako nang sunod-sunod habang nanghihinang umayos ng kapit sa board.
"Shit! What were you doing there?! You know you could've died?!" Jericho's voice thundered.
Tumingin ako at nakita na nasa malayo na ang board ko. Echo was beside me, panting. Water was dripping down from his hair and straight to his face. He frustratedly messed his hair, looking at me.
"Sumabit iyong leash," pabulong kong sambit.
"Why did you even come back?! Ang lakas na ng alon, oh!" gigil na sabi niya at hinampas ang board. His eyes were full of anger and concern... very far from the joker Echo that I'm used to.
I looked away, feeling guilty. "Binalikan kita," amin ko pero parang hindi niya ako narinig.
"Paano kung hindi kita nakita? Amelie, you're probably dead by now!" He sighed. "Fuck..." marahang mura niya at napahilamos sa mukha. "Why did you even have to come back for me? Kaya ko ang sarili ko!"
I was worried.
But instead, I said, "I'm sorry."
"Sorry?" He scoffed sarcastically.
Tumingin siya sa malayo. Kitang-kita ang iritasyon, galit, at pagsisisi sa mukha niya. Nagbuga siya ng hangin bago binalik ang tingin sa 'kin.
"Esme naman. Nawalan na ako ng isa... I can't lose you too..."
Nagulat ako sa sinabi niya. Nagkatinginan kami. The guilt in me was suddenly set aside because his intense stare was distracting me. It was as if he wanted to punish me through his eyes.
Hindi ko kinaya ang titig niya kaya umiwas ako ng tingin. He held my cheek, not giving me a chance to look away from him. Umigting ang panga niya habang nakatingin pa rin sa akin ng matalim.
My eyes immediately shut when I felt his soft lips on top of mine. It was just a short kiss.
He gave me a small smile. "I can't lose you, Esme. I just can't."