Okay, I've never been this sexually frustrated in my entire life. Not even when I went a whole year without even being touched but being interrupted mid-fun with Jules has me ready to explode and murder someone.
At this point, the most appealing person to kill would be Slasher though I doubt Peyton would even let me get a look in, especially if she finds out the reason why I want to kill him. She'd find it funny though when her husband is back but not right now. It's been a week since we first started plans for infiltrating the warehouse and everyone is rightfully on edge.
People have hardly been sleeping, everyone wanting this thing to be over. Peyton is getting paler and paler by the day but thankfully we've managed to keep her eating, every time she reminds herself that Reign would be devastated if his wife and unborn child were dying of starvation. Plus, she knows the dangers of her pregnancy would be multiplied if she neglected her basic health needs.
As of right now, Lexie and I are sat in the lounge with Gem, all of the bikers and the three Dons took residence in Church four hours ago. We haven't heard any shouting so we can only assume that everyone is at least getting along to the best of their abilities, it's mainly the Russian and the Italian they keep fighting, the rest of them are behaving... for the most part.
We haven't actually heard anything come from the Fire Demons which seems odd in my head, surely, he'd be demanding ransom or taking responsibility for it so that he can have all the glory. He seems like a man who needs constant approval for his actions and have his ego boosted, I'm pretty sure his head is so far up his ass he can't even see the sun.
Gem and I have been staying in Jules' room here, our house is locked up and we brought enough stuff to last us. It's not safe for us to be so cut off from the MC and I called into the Dean's office to give an excuse as to why I couldn't come to school so I have all my work coming to me via email and little Gem has been taken out of nursery for a bit under the guise of a family emergency. Which I guess is actually true if you think about it.
My anxiety has been acting up exponentially, but it isn't as bad as Jules' PTSD. He wakes up in the middle of the night a lot and I straddle his lap, stroking his hair and back until he relaxes enough to fall back asleep. We set up a small bed for Gem, so she doesn't wake up when he does which is good considering how hard it is to get her to go back to sleep. Since we're in a new environment she refuses to behave herself and she throws hissy fits all the time, only Jules is able to calm her down with his soft voice and unwavering temper.
He's fantastic with her and it melts me even more inside when I hear him speak to her in the middle of the night when they've both woken up and can't get back to sleep. He's such a doting father that always knows where she is and what she needs, he's tentative with my needs too but he neglects his own so I've taken it upon myself to support him as much as I can.
I know he's scared, terrified even, that the Fire Demons can so easily take two of ours. He's not only worried that Gem and I can be taken but what will happen to him when they launch an attack on the warehouse. He's been given one of the point positions so he's one of the first people in and he wants to come back to us. We stayed up late the other night, talking softly so that we wouldn't wake Gem about everything we were scared about and how we're going to be there for each other no matter what.
I just don't want to have to see him on a hospital bed.
The last person I saw dying of a bullet wound was Peyton and it was one of the worst experiences of my life. I couldn't imagine what I'd be like without him, hysterical is the first word that comes to mind.
I promised him I'd be strong and sitting on this couch, with the Queen of the Riders and my oblivious daughter, I feel weak. Not knowing what's going on, what's happening or who's in danger tends to induce a panic attack and I can't do anything about it until Jules comes out and tells me what the fuck is going on.
"Are you thinking bad thoughts again?" Lexie's voice is quiet, I know she feels the same way I do because Bear is also one of the front men going in and they've been together for six years. Lexie even said that she couldn't imagine life without him, he's her rock and even being this far away from him is hard for her considering they're almost always joined at the hip.
I suppose being the first Old Lady of this generation was hard for her, especially because she's the Prez's wife. A lot of things are expected of her and she's trying so hard and I'm proud of her, she's left out of the loop too and she is not a happy camper. "When am I not nowadays?"
"You haven't exactly had the best experience since you got here, I promise you though this family is the best thing in the world."
"I know that, everyone is so welcoming and kind and overwhelmingly fierce. I couldn't imagine ever leaving, I don't think I could."
"You're one of the few." I look over at her in confusion, she catches the look and turns on the couch to face me. "So many women have come and gone here, girlfriends that get into it for the money and the tattoos, the bikes and the status, until they realise that sticking around takes a lot more than fucking a biker and spending his money. It's dangerous and it's scary. You don't know whether your man is coming home, you don't know what's around the next corner and none of them could handle it. But you and Saviour, you swept in here like you owned the place. Never worried about whether any of them would hurt you and you trust them to protect you, you love them, and they love you in return. Those girls were a waste of time and I hope they find their happiness in a vanilla businessman or tradesman but here it's ride or die."