"Are you scared I'll pull away if Natalia-if she-are you?" Lauren met Camila's soft gaze and watched as the brunette lifted her hand to tuck the hair behind Lauren's ear.
"Terrified," Because the last thing the pair needed was lies lingering between them. "But I'd chase after you. Run as far as you want, Laur, I'll find you."
The pair were settled in bed with Bolt curled between them. Their eyes held questions that neither knew how to answer for one another.
"Are you ready for tomorrow?" Camila had been hesitant to ask the question for a while but she knew Lauren would need to talk about it eventually and then seemed as good a time as any.
"No," The green-eyed woman scoffed, feeling her heart begin to race in panic at the thought of her little girl laying unconscious while doctors used every bit of the expertise to resect a tumour that was killing her a lot faster than anyone had anticipated. "But I need to take the chance, I need to be able to say I did everything to save her."
"I know," The brunette moved forward and let her lips settle on that of the woman she loved. "I'm here with you, I support you no matter what, you know that."
Lauren rolled over onto her back and it allowed Camila a moment to look at the woman beside her and be reminded of all the time Lauren had been there for her. All the times the woman had never once entertained the idea of giving up on her. It took her back years, a time where her life was darker than it had ever been and through it all, Lauren had been her guiding light. Whether it be as her friend or more.
She remembered Lauren putting her back together after Shawn, after Matthew and Lauren had been the one to get her to leave her room after the death of her own father. And that was why Camila could never leave.
Because this time around she needed to be the stronger love, she felt. Back then, Lauren had loved her enough to set her entire life aside and put her first and Camila knew it was her turn. Lauren had taught her to love herself and this time, Camila knew she could do both. She was strong enough to love herself and love Lauren.
"You told me something once," She felt her voice part her lips softly. "That I needed to be reminded that I'm amazing, that I'm more than I think I am." Green eyes turned to meet brown. "You need that reminder now. You've got this, Lauren."
And it was like they were teens again, lost in their promises of forever. Back when Camila first realised what a soulmate was simply by meeting Lauren's gaze. She remembered wishing her father's health to improve because she wanted him to run around her future house with Lauren, chasing after their future kids. She wanted the simplicity of a normal family life with the woman beside her.
She still wanted that.
"I'm sure of us, you know?" Camila almost chuckled softly at how ironic it was that she'd finally come to that conclusion after they'd found themselves in the same position as years earlier. Because back then she wasn't sure of anything aside from knowing she needed to disappear.
But she didn't want to disappear anymore. She wanted this. She wanted Lauren and Natalia and Bolt and their families and even Ashley. She wanted all of it. She was sure of it. Nothing had ever felt more certain to her.
"Marry me." Camila surprised herself as the words left her lips. But after saying them, she felt how right they were. She felt how hard she'd been suppressing them since they were kids. Because even all those years ago, she knew that this moment would one day happen. "Marry me, Lauren." Nothing made more sense to her. Their 'one day' was now. They were living their future they'd wanted all those years ago.
And yes, nothing was going exactly as planned but if there was one thing they could do...it was this.
"This is the worst timing for me to ask, I know that. I know I sound selfish and I know I could be coming off as insensitive but..." Camila watched as Lauren rolled onto her side once more so they were facing one another. "But I want us to be there for each other for all these moments; the big ones. Whether they are bad or good. We've waited so long, I think we deserve this."
"We do." Lauren agreed. Marrying Camila was always the plan after they'd reconnected. She was sure too. She knew with absolute certainty that her soulmate was laying beside her, so of course they'd eventually get married. "But not right now, Camz." Because as much as she wanted to marry the love of her life, she also knew her heart was not in the right place to be all-consumed by that.
Natalia. Her heart, all of it, needed to belong to her little girl. Her daughter needed her undivided love and she would give her nothing less. So yes, she knew one day she would marry Camila, but accepting her proposal in that moment...it simply couldn't happen, not when she couldn't give Camila her all. Not when she could barely offer herself the love she knew she deserved.
"Is that okay?" Lauren found Camila's hand and gave it a soft squeeze. "It's not a no, but I can't say yes right now."
And Camila could see it. She could see the 'yes' swimming in Lauren's eyes and her want to say the word so she knew that it would...just not in that moment. And maybe that was why the soft rejection didn't hurt. Because she knew that their future was somewhat set in stone despite it not being said in that moment. She knew Lauren was hers in the same way she was the green-eyed girl's. So it wasn't a yes and it didn't need to be in that moment. There was a promise of a yes and that was enough.
The pair went to sleep that night with the security of their future settled upon them.
They woke to banging pots and a yapping puppy.
"My mom has a key to the house," Lauren groaned as she slipped out of the bed, watching Camila do the same before running a hand through her hair. "I've got a client checking out one of my pieces in a couple of hours but I'm stopping by to see Lia before that, can you stay with her for the day?"
"Of course," Camila had already been planning to stay right beside her favourite little girl.
"Thank you," Lauren planted a soft kiss on her girlfriend's lips before pulling them both out of the room.
The pair were surprised to find the entire Jauregui clan along with two Cabellos sitting around Lauren's dining table. Everyone was dishing up breakfast and conversing amongst themselves until the girls made their presence known.
"I didn't know we were hosting a breakfast party, Camz, did you?" Lauren arched a brow at her girlfriend.
"You expect me to complain?" The younger brunette scoffed. "There's food, Laur."
Camila dragged the older woman over to the table.
"Figured you two were taking care of Natalia first and yourselves second," Clara looked to her daughter with eyes daring her to challenge her words but Lauren's shoulders just slumped. "Thought as much, so eat up. You're both useless to that little girl if you're not on your A game."
Camila didn't need to be told twice before digging into the food but upon seeing Lauren's hesitancy, she was quick to fill up her girlfriend's plate.
"Mama J is right," Camila shrugged. "I'm pretty sure I read a study that said an empty stomach leads to poor decisions."
"You're making that up." Sofi chimed in, leaning down to give Bolt a piece of bacon.
"Quit feeding my puppy grease, you worm." Camila tossed a piece of toast at her sister and sneered.
"Is Ash with her right now?" Mike looked to Lauren and watched as she nodded. "Good, least that girl keeps her priorities straight."
Camila looked to Lauren with a frown because it was so out of sorts for Mike to ever have a bad thing to say about anyone.
"My dad never liked Ash," Lauren rolled her eyes. "Thinks she's too wild. But...even he can't deny she loves her daughter, can you?" The oldest Jauregui daughter arched a brow at her father.
"You've definitely upgraded, is all I'm saying."
"I don't like that," Camila frowned at Mike's choice of words. "Come on, Papa J," She sat back. "You know better than to compare two women against one another. I'm not better than Ash and she's not better than me. We're just different. She's free-spirited, nothing wrong with that. But when it comes to Lia, I've never once seen her fight Lauren on what was best for her. They're a good team when it comes to their daughter."
"Careful, Lauren," Chris smirked playfully. "Looks like Camila has a thing for your ex."
"And this is why you're my least favourite Jauregui." Camila threw a piece of toast his way too.
The two families had their breakfast together and Lauren insisted on doing the dishes after the two mothers had prepared the food but of course Sinuhe wouldn't have her do them on her own and she knew how awful Camila was at basic chores.
So she dried the dishes as Lauren washed them and the pair let the silence fall between them until Sinuhe felt she needed to break it.
"The first year is the hardest," Her eyes were looking out through the window at Sofi trying to peer at Taylor's phone but the older girl hiding it instantly. "Every morning you wake up and for just the briefest second...they're still around-"
"Sinu, what are you-"
"I want your daughter to be okay, mija, I do," The mother spoke gently to the woman who was like her very own child. "But I know your family and friends and Camila are telling you how she'll make it, how she'll beat this and that's not fair because she might not. So you need to know what it could be like. You need...both perspectives." Sinuhe turned to Lauren and saw the woman now looking out the window herself. "Some days it will hurt to breathe. It will feel like there's no point in it. Even now, talking to you about it, I feel it."
"How would I survive it?" Lauren's tone was desolate.
"You just do," The older woman sighed softly. "There's no secret to it. You just decide to. I had my two girls and so I had to. You choose to survive it."
"I don't know if I could." Lauren looked to the Cabello mother, turning around and leaning back on the counter. "If I lost her, I don't know if I could choose to survive it."