___________
I sat there on Dwayne's bed with my fingers clenched around the sheets, nervously shifting from one side to the other & glancing over my shoulder up to the window in the ceiling almost every five seconds, my heart filled to the brim with anticipation as well as dread. I had long lost my sense of time, found it impossible to tell for how long Dwayne had already been absent & it caused my anxiety to stretch beyond imagination, making the wait more & more difficult to endure.
There was neither a voice nor a sound to stir the night, everything was silent in & outside the tower's walls. Obviously I kept wondering why, various images of possible scenarios beginning to materialize in my mind & coming to life.
Had something happened to Dwayne? Had one of his bloodthirsty comrades perhaps settled for direct confrontation as a sign of revenge for his betrayal & harmed or even killed him in the process? And if so, would they eventually come for me too since they were already long aware of my whereabouts? Or had his attempts to persuade them actually been successful & moved me out of harm's way at last?
One could only assume so much which was a sickening thing to acknowledge, my heart pounding so hard between my ribs that I had no choice but to get up & pace around the room to get rid of the adrenaline in my veins. My trembling fingers ran through my hair, feeling the scar on the left side of my scalp where the surgery had been performed several years ago.
I shivered, my eyes scanning the area on the other side of the window one more time before disappearing behind heavy eyelids while a long breath filled my lungs with new oxygen, my hands folding above my chest to assist me during my breathing exercise, falling & rising with each inhalation.
After the third breath I began to whisper the lines of a song dear to my heart, written in my native tongue & blessing me with the sense of calm I so desperately needed that moment:
" Eg var og eg er vind,
eg er vinda, vevja, hapt og tvinnar ~ "
A gentle wind blew across the room, caressing my warm cheeks like a soft pair of hands, its fingers traveling further down my throat & towards my still heated chest, each breath that followed removing the tension & fear that inhabited my body a bit more….
" Eg var og eg er vind,
eg er vinda, vevja, hapt og tvinnar ~"
I repeated, noticing an unusual yet very soothing & deep sough close to my ear; it reminded me of the sound of wind that lurked between the mountains in the midst of a frost-bitten winter, chasing aimlessly through the valley & past the snow-covered fjords before sinking into the arms of a slumbering glacier...
Yes, it reminded me of my homeland, & it planted a fragile smile on my lips despite the grim environment & rather troubling circumstances.
The wind grew fiercer & once again my lips drifted apart to release the lines my soul felt drawn to, however this time I was actually singing, my voice breathy yet crystal-clear:
*
" Eg var og eg er vind,
eg er vinda, vevja, hapt og tvinnar.
Ser eg, er eg alt,
vil eg, vinn eg alt ~"
Slowly yet surely the wind began to cease down until it faded completely, giving way to what felt like a warm summer breeze accompanied by the heavy scent of vermouth & smoke; a little too overwhelming at first, but after two breaths on my part I deemed it quite appealing, so much that I drew in even more of it.
Something slid under my chin, cold & smooth in touch, lifting my head the same moment a familiar voice entered my ears & caused me to freeze in terror.
" Your voice is like that of a Siren, however this song you're singing is one I have never heard before.
I wonder what it is about? "
My eyes shot open to find David's handsome countenance a few inches away from my own & only poorly illuminated by the flickering candles & oil lamps that surrounded us.
My jaw dropped to release a gasp of surprise but it got stuck in my throat, the calm I had so eagerly been trying to regain the past few minutes dissolving again & giving way to yet another surge of trepidation.
He had literally appeared out of nowhere, without so much as a sound, but then again - he was a vampire…& they were capable of doing things much more terrifying & sinister than just silently merging with the shadows.
" It… is a song about the wind, & how we all are a part of it… able to accomplish anything as long as we believe in our strength… "
My voice literally died off mid-speaking until all that was left was a tenuous whisper.
" There is no reason to be scared, Lily ~ "
David flashed a smile, one that I perceived as playful unlike those I remembered from our previous encounters, even somewhat caring. However, this only added more to my already immense distrust…
" Where is Dwayne..? "
The very first question to cross my mind because it was the only thing I genuinely cared about that moment.
" He is fine. ", a subtle head tilt on his part, followed by a ridiculously slow blink, most likely to appear reassuring.
" You have my word on that, Lily. "
" Your word means nothing to me. "
Words that caught even me by surprise, for saying them out loud had never been my intention.
" I want to see that he's alright with my own eyes! "
David crooked a brow, nodding a nod that for some reason seemed anything but sincere.
" You are quite fond of him, aren't you? "
" ...That is none of your business. "
My voice was so cold & devoid of care that it caused even me to shiver.
David on the other hand seemed to be amused by it, almost excited. The following subtle twinkle in his eyes spoke for itself.
" He sure is fond of you. Very much so…
Fond enough to risk everything without worrying about possible consequences ~ "
I felt my heart jump inside my chest. It was a feeling that was hard to ignore given how dear it held Dwayne despite hardly knowing anything about him yet, let alone his ties with David & the others.
My eyes soon drifted away from the blonde all by themselves, unwilling to endure his piercing glare any longer.
" Please, I'm asking for you to spare him... Don't hold him accountable for trying to protect me.
All of his intentions were good... "
A sonorous chuckle ensued & I took yet another step away from the vampire, my arms crossing before my chest in a defensive manner.
" Intriguing... "
I dared not meet his eyes out of fear they could pull me back in.
" What are you talking about..? "
" It is you we were after this whole time & hunted down, yet you are more concerned about Dwayne's fate than your own. "
From the corner of my eye I could see him turn away from me & slowly make his way over to the table adorned with multiple candles, their flames dancing with every swift breeze that entered the room.
" So much trouble… for so little certainty.
Such courage is truly admirable ~ "
I peered after David to find him snuff out every single candle on the table using only two fingers, one after the other. My eyes narrowed at his nearly blunt remark as I felt a decent amount of anger arise.
" There is no such thing as certainty… Life is made of risks & ventures. Those two are the only things that are certain. "
David shrouded himself in deafening silence as he continued to choke the flames until all the candles on the table had been put to sleep, letting one corner of the room slip into complete darkness.
" Wise words, Lily. " His voice pierced the veil of hush like a spear.
" You seem to well know what you are talking about ~ "
I chose to remain silent; not because I did not know how to respond, but because I had no interest in revealing anything about my past to a person as shady & twisted as him.
Though I had already backed away quite a lot I was in the perfect position to see how David slowly raised one hand, his leather-clad digits spread, letting it hover several inches above the table with at least a dozen dead candles on it.
I flinched at the sound of his voice.
" ~ as does your heart. "
For a solid moment I was stunned, even more so when I witnessed him relight all the candles on the table with nothing but a swift motion of his hand.
I could literally feel my own eyes widen in shock, bewilderment tugging at my features.
Had I just witnessed real magic?
" What…?!? "
" Your mouth speaks words that reveal a lot about you, but believe me - nothing is more sincere than the voice of a living, beating heart. "
Once the candles had been brought back to life by a force I was yet not familiar with David turned to face me again, the smile on his face fading gradually until a stern, nearly frigid expression had taken its place.
The oil lamps behind me cast oddly shaped shadows on his without a doubt attractive countenance & for a moment I was unable to tell whether or not he was in the process of transforming again, but the closer he drew the more obvious it became that it was not his appearance that had changed.
It was something inside of him, much like a switch that had suddenly been flipped, & it brought me even more discomfort than his previous smile of scorn.
" Bold of you to assume that you even remotely know what my heart has to say...", I hissed, unwilling to back away again & thus staying right where I was despite my violently shaking legs & a heart that was only seconds away from bursting.
" But I do know, Lily ~ "
David met my gaze in between walls of shadows & dimly flickering lights, his eyes threatening to pull me in & drag me into their depths like the sea's undertow.
" A heartbeat is more than just a heartbeat to those who own the night. It is a tune, a melody, & an entire sequence of heartbeats is like a song in our ears. Every heart beats differently, therefore every song sounds different as well. Yours, dear Lily, intrigued me from the moment I first heard it… It sounds like an elegy, like shattering glass, & it beats with such profound guilt & grief that I had almost mistaken it for that of someone on the verge of death ~ "
From the shadows a gloved hand emerged, gliding through the air with ease only to push a strand of hair out of my face.
Under different circumstances I would've flinched or drawn back, maybe even slapped his hand away, but his words had me paralyzed, his eyes captivated, & as the first signs of empathy began to sprout from his face I even was at a loss for words.
" Your heart…
It has been broken, hasn't it? "
He'd hear no response from me for what appeared like an eternity besides the sound of my rattling breath & my aggressively pounding heart, my confident facade crumbling piece by piece.
I drew in more air only to let out a gasp as if I had just resurfaced from a long dive, anxious to recede but feeling the bedpost in my back & seeing the wall to my right, blocking my way.
Although I did not feel threatened by David himself something inside of me wanted to escape the situation at all costs & as quickly as possible, with every fiber of my being aching for immediate flight.
He retracted his gloved fingers one after the other, his eyes separating from mine to wander towards my chest which quavered with each breath. I could've sworn he was looking at the rune tattoo below my collarbone & beyond tempted to discover more about my journey through life.
" And now you are here, devoted to the belief that giving your little broken heart to someone else will fix it... "
" That's enough! "
I literally spat those words into existence, throwing both my hands over my chest like I was trying to protect my heart.
" None of these matters concern you even in the slightest & have nothing to do with Dwayne, do you understand?! "
Slowly & gradually, the corners of his lips arched into a subtle smile.
" His name was Kjetil, & you were with him for almost three years... "
Words powerful enough to knock the air right out of my lungs.
" ... what..?! "
" He never told you this, but he still had feelings for the woman who rejected him shortly before you entered his life, & even though you spent the following years together in what appeared to be happiness, he would always throw a quick nostalgic glance back at his past when you weren't looking…"
His eyes drifted back up to meet mine, his smile widening with each word that rolled off his tongue while I simply stood there, unwilling to trust my ears…
" H--how do you know—?!? "
" He broke up with you a month before your third anniversary, finally confessing that the flame between him & his past lover had already been reignited a whole year before your breakup ~ "
At last I began to tremble, dozens of memories & images associated with them flooding my mind at an alarming pace; it was more than I could handle, especially at this particular point in time.
" Stop it… "
" He asked for your forgiveness, & that's what you gave him… "
" Stop it… Please..! "
" … despite you falling apart right before his eyes the very same moment, embracing the pain of loss ~ "
" Stop… It…!! "
" ~ because he was the man you wanted to marry ! "
" I said stop it! "
Agonizing rage as well as crippling sorrow seemed to gain the upper hand over me once all the pictures of events & faces from the past came to life before my inner eye, flickering & flashing like sheet lightning. I lost all control for but one moment, raising my already injured hand against David in an admittedly pathetic attempt to strike him with all the anger that had settled within me. Unfortunately for me he was one step ahead of me yet again, sensing every single move of mine before I even considered it & thus snatched my wrist midair, pushing my hand away from him & pulling the rest of my body into his chest at the same time.
I gasped once my chest collided with his, the picture of him distorting as tears blurred my vision right after I managed to catch a glimpse of the sinister twinkle in his eyes.
Twisting my arm behind my back he gave a low chuckle in response to my courage, leaning in so his cold breath grazed my skin & filling my nose with the scent of wine & herbs I had never smelled before. They were oddly pleasant, definitely intoxicating.
" Why waste your precious energy on me, dear Lily… when you could aim it at the one who slew your trust during the darkest time of your life & so coldly shattered your vision of a bright, promising future? "
I blinked my tears away, swallowing down what most likely would've been a loud sob of grief. A part of me still refused to accept the fact that David was so familiar with the events that had taken place in my past, moreover, that he knew the name of my last boyfriend; the one who had destroyed a great piece of my soul as well as my life in every imaginable way.
" I… I don't understand... ", was all I managed to say, whimpering breathlessly under his judgmental gaze.
" … Why do you know all this…?! How?? "
" Lily ~ " With a voice coated in honey he gently placed his other hand against my cheek, his gloved thumb brushing across my skin & wiping away a single small tear before it could run down my face.
" Your desire to forgive & move on without demanding justice will sooner or later break you. Haven't you already faced enough pain in your young life? Do you not wish for some kind of redemption?
For revenge? "
I closed my eyes for a couple of seconds, locking away more tears & collecting my thoughts which were already scattered all over the place.
" I despise revenge... I only care about justice… & revenge is not justice!
Forgiving him for what he did to me was the only justice I needed…"
" … But was it also the justice you wanted? "
He let go of my wrist once he realized that my anger had subsided, the fingers of his free hand now wandering up my arm until they reached my shoulder, his fingertips feeling my clavicle & the lower section of my neck. My eyes drifted open when I felt his index finger on my throat, drawing small sinuous lines along my main artery. I tried to read his eyes for any clues regarding his next action or at the very least his intentions, but he was as difficult to read as Dwayne, if not even more…
" Do you not believe that you deserve more than the bare minimum, Lily?
Do you not believe that you deserve better? "
From one second to the next his hand slid up the back of my neck towards my scalp, digging through several layers of thick brown hair before they reached the scar from my surgery.
My eyes narrowed in disbelief. He couldn't possibly know about my scar too, or could he?!
" What about those doctors that never bothered to take a closer look at how threatening your tumor actually was & put you through a risky medical procedure, one that caused you to lose your job as well as all your chances of turning your passion into profession, leaving several scars on your soul for a lifetime?
Did you ever get justice for their failing & lack of commitment in treating you? "
" No… ", I breathed out with a voice thin as a sheet of paper.
Pondering silence engulfed the two of us, my thoughts about to go merry-go-round with my head while I felt David retract his hands, almost lovingly caressing my cheek one more time before he pulled away with a sly smile resting on his lips.
" Makes you think… just how uncaring the world is for your woes. How little those you trust with your heart are willing to give in return… Even though you once gave them everything.
If only there was someone who knew how to turn your pain into strength & help you pave a way to justice ~ "
As soon as he let go of me I found myself shivering so hard that I had to throw my own arms around my frame. Not only did I suddenly feel much more vulnerable & exposed, but also very tired. Drained & cold. It was as if David had taken something away from me during our short yet undeniably intense conversation, but perhaps it was only my crying that was to blame, along with the turbulent events of the past few hours…
A breeze entered through the window in the ceiling, carrying the tender scent of early morning air into the room. David & I peered up at the same time, noticing that it was still dark outside, but a new dawn was already hanging in the atmosphere & I knew what that meant for David & his companions.
" What…are you going to do with me now? "
David's head turned back in my direction, along with his semi-amused smile. The look in his eyes had become much more empathetic, almost human, & I couldn't help but wonder why…
" Nothing, Lily. Not like this anyway…
It is much more important what you are going to do with yourself now ~ "
" What do you mean..? "
In the dim candle light I noticed how his left hand disappeared in one of the pockets of his coat, pulling out something that seemed to perfectly fit inside his hand but was difficult to recognize in the poor lighting.
" Time, Lily. I want you to take some time to reflect, to reevaluate… To think about the reasons why you left the country you loved the most & now miss so dearly only to come to a city as rotten & drab as Santa Carla ~ "
He paused to look at the object in his hand once more before tossing it my way, his throw so flawless that I managed to catch it without having to move away from my spot.
I gasped when I felt a familiar device in my hand that I had almost forgotten about.
It was my phone.
I hadn't seen it again after dropping it near the road, shortly before my encounter with Paul.
" ~ because judging by your diary entries you do not seem to know those reasons yourself yet. "
My jaw dropped & by a hair's breadth so did my phone, my eyes going wide.
" Y--you mean you read my diary?? "
" I sincerely hope this will not affect your opinion of me, my dear Lily ~ "
He literally shrugged it off without so much as an ounce of regret & even though a part of me wanted to feel upset I had to admit that hearing his confession somehow put my mind at ease. At least I finally had an explanation as to why he knew so much about my past…
" We will see about that. ", I responded, pressing my phone to my chest.
" Tomorrow night, 9 o'clock at the Boardwalk in front of the Looff Carousel. We will be there, Lily… & I hope so will you. "
I watched in silence while David made his way over to the window, preparing for departure, though not without looking back at me one last time.
My front teeth pinched my bottom lip.
" What makes you think I even want to see you or any of your companions ever again? "
A low chuckle ensued, followed by a subtle smile filled with enough conviction for the both of us.
" You will follow your heart … Like you always have. I know so, & so do you. "
The wind picked up & David was just about to leave when I leaped forward with an extended arm in order to stop him.
" Wait…!
I … I would like to speak to Dwayne before you guys leave… "
A part of me was genuinely worried that he would deny my request & just take off, but judging by the look he gave me in response he didn't even seem to care at all.
" Certainly. Something tells me that the desire is mutual anyway.
Almost like I myself can feel it... "
He eventually grinned, raising a hand to make his goodbye complete.
" Until we meet again, Lily ~ "
And with that he ascended effortlessly as a bird, violating the law of gravity & disappearing through the window so swiftly that my eyes failed to capture all of it.
_________
It was shortly after David's departure, not later than two minutes that I felt a draft in the back of my neck, causing my hair to flutter around my shoulders & blessing my lungs with a scent I remembered from my nightly walks through the Norwegian woods, along with the smell of leather & wine.
Without even having to turn around I sensed a familiar presence a few steps behind me, drawing closer until my spine sank into a strong chest where each of my bare shoulders was covered by a hand, a set of rough fingertips hesitantly stroking my skin. I released a trembling sigh, relieved that he had truly come back for me. I could tell by the way his fingers danced across my shoulders that he was aching to embrace me, yet something seemed to hold him back.
His breath grazed the top of my head, traveling further down my neck until I shivered & one of my hands went up to cover his own.
A weak smile rolled over my lips.
" I'm sorry, Lily. "
His deep ,melodious voice made my heart skip a beat.
" There is nothing you need to apologize for, Dwayne… You haven't done anything wrong. "
My thumb brushed across the back of his surprisingly warm hand as if to accentuate my words.
" So please, stop apologizing… "
" Did he hurt you? ", he whispered against my hair, his grip on my shoulders tightening just enough for me to feel it.
I slowly shook my head.
" No. And it doesn't seem like he wants to hurt me in any way… Truth be told, I don't think I'm afraid of him any longer.
But he… He offered me to meet up at the Boardwalk tomorrow night. "
There was a brief moment of silence in which Dwayne took a small step back only to spin me around, our gazes connecting immediately, his dark yet benign eyes embedded in a face as mysterious & beautiful as the man who owned it leaving me stunned yet again.
Being in Dwayne's presence still felt surreal as my own mind refused to believe that all this was more than just a dream I would soon wake up from… A thought that genuinely terrified me whenever it crossed my mind.
" Whatever he told you, Lily - do not fall for it. Do not allow him to get inside your head, ever. And most importantly: do not come near the Boardwalk tomorrow night, do you understand?! Do not follow his offer under any circumstances! "
My already weakened smile began to crumble.
" Why not? What is the worst that could happen, Dwayne? I mean… You will be there too, right?? "
" That is not the point, Lily… You are about to deal with forces beyond your ken. The idea of accepting his invitation may not seem like a risk, but that is exactly what David wants you to believe.
I told you before… You must not underestimate a person like him! I'm begging you ~ "
Dwayne cupped my face, keeping his eyes locked with mine while anxiously searching them for any sign of understanding regarding his demand. He appeared awfully afraid, even more than when we first met, & not even his overall expressionless face could hide that any longer.
" ~ Stay away from us & leave Santa Carla as long as you have the chance to! "
My heart dropped, as did my voice, being nothing more than a fragile whisper when I responded.
" … I can't… "
" Yes, you can. "
" No, Dwayne. I can't… Because I don't want to. "
His lips began to quiver & he had to bite down hard on his bottom lip to somewhat control the tremor, his breath audibly rattling through his nostrils.
" I don't want to leave with the knowledge that we will never meet again. "
Ridding myself of my remaining fear I dared to make the same subtle move as before up on the platform, sneaking deeper into his chest while my eyes wandered away from his own & towards his lips, my fingers feeling for his strong jawline as well as the slightly tensed muscles underneath. I had no idea how I managed to remain this patient & calm since every fiber of me craved his kiss over anything else...
" Lily… "
His voice was shaking, as were his hands when he let go of my face to gently push me away, visibly pained by his own actions yet not hesitating for even a second.
" This is not about what we want, but about what is right. And I will not just stand there & watch as you run to embrace your doom. "
He ran his fingers through my hair, keeping a stoic expression in spite of the war that continued to rage within.
" 'We' ? " I blinked my tears away.
" So you want this too... Don't you, Dwayne?! "
" It doesn't matter anymore. "
He stepped away from me & bent down, pulling the large carpet away from the trapdoor I had stumbled upon earlier. Though the lock was huge & solid Dwayne shattered it with little to no effort, swinging the door open to reveal a long ladder that led to an old stairway. I felt a cold draft ascend from below, along with the scent of moist brick & mold.
" Once you reach the entrance of the watchtower all you need to do is follow the path that leads away from the facility & into the forest. It's the shortest & safest route back into the city. But wait until the sun has come up… "
" Dwayne… "
" I would rather bring you home myself but I wouldn't make it back to the cave before sunrise. "
He walked back towards me only to carefully cup my face, placing the most tender & telling kiss on my forehead before peering down into my eyes again, a frail smile tugging at his lips.
" Please get home safely, Lily, & take care of yourself. "
" Dwayne, please… I — "
" Do not forget what I told you ~ "
Those were the last words I would hear from the mysterious vampire before he drew away from me with all the strength he could muster & flew off to merge with the blackness outside the tower's walls, neither looking back at me nor allowing me to stop him.
All soon fell into silence, with only my own breath stirring the air as I stumbled backwards to flop onto the bed, no longer able to keep my tears from flowing.
____________
*
" Wind I was & wind I am,
I am wound, woven, bound & twined;
If I see, I am everything,
If I want, I win it all…"