Okay Kittens, you know the drill. If you're not mentally or emotionally capable of reading things the have to do with abuse, drug use, or self-harm, I ask you not to read. This chapter will have things that may be triggering to some. Please use common sense.
I DO NOT OWN NARUTO IN ANY WAY, SHAPE, OR FORM. Please, enjoy the chapter.
Konan was genuinely excited to have another female in the Akatsuki. It had been years since she had had some quality girl time. (Y/n) on the other hand, she had always had trouble relating to the girls in Konaha. She would always be uncomfortable with them. Maybe it was because the older girls were all obsessed with her father and the younger ones were all obsessed with Sasuke. She could never make friends with any of them. Once Ino had gotten with Sai, she became more tolerable, resulting in (Y/n) getting a job at the job at her family's flower shop. Konan happily dragged (Y/n) to the hot spring that was just off the base. "No one is going to come spy on us, are they?" (Y/n) questioned, looking around at the walled space. It was a simple wall structure with a door to enter, benches to sit on, shelves with plenty of towels, and the hot spring itself. It was simple but nice. "Not if they value their lives," Konan responded, taking off her cloak to reveal a simple, sleeveless shirt that zipped up the front and a pair of tight pants that showed off Konan's figure. (Y/n) suddenly became very self-conscious seeing Konan. "Are you okay, (Y/n)? You don't have to be nervous, we're both girls," Konan reassured, unzipping her shirt and setting it aside. (Y/n) looked away. 'Her skin is perfect...' She thought, her gloved hands shaking a bit.
"I just haven't been naked in front of someone in a long time..." (Y/n) mumbled, taking off her gloves. Konan watched her stare blank-eyed at her hands for a moment. "It gives me a bit of anxiety..." (Y/n) chuckled at her own foolishness. "It's stupid, huh? I'm a highly trained Jonin, ex ANBU, a fucking killing machine and I'm scared of being naked in front of others." She laughed bitterly, staring at the scars on the backs of her hands. Konan looked at (Y/n) worriedly. "(Y/n)..." She started softly, touching the silver-haired woman's shoulder, "Are you okay? We don't have to do this... We can go do our nails or something." Konan told her softly. (Y/n) shook her head a bit, straightening her back. "No, no. It's okay. Just like you said, we're both girls here. Just..." (Y/n) paused to take a breath, reaching to the back of her mask with shaking hands. "Don't tell anyone... Okay?" She slowly unzipped the mask to reveal two large scars on her face and a jagged one across her neck.
Konan was stunned by the scars but said nothing. She simply smiled at (Y/n) as both of them undressed. Konan was cautious looking at (Y/n) scar riddled body. She could completely understand why the younger woman would be self-conscious being naked in front of others. 'The poor girl has probably been through so much... I understand that she's a ninja but... she's still a girl...' Konan thought as she pulled her up and got in the hot water. (Y/n) followed suit, sitting and leaning against the smooth rocks. "So," Konan started, turning her body to face (Y/n), "I sensed some animosity towards the Uchiha. What was that about? Did he piss you off somehow?" Konan asked. 'Of course, he hasn't told anyone about us.' (Y/n) thought as she laughed dryly. (Y/n) shook her head then rested it back on the rock behind her, closing her eyes. "That fucker ruined my life... Him and his twisted little brother. I'd been better off never meeting either of them..." Konan gave a confused look. "Wait, what?" (Y/n) sighed softly. "Itachi is my ex. We grew up together... He had my heart and body and he shattered me. I would have killed for him... He was my everything and he just left, saying, "I'm leaving but oh, I'll come back for you someday" leaving me there alone to cry. A terrified, pregnant girl at 16. You see this?" (Y/n) sat up out of the water a bit and pointed at a long vertical scar on her stomach. "I was having complications and they had to cut my baby girl out of me..." She laughed, tears coming to her eyes.
"Not that it fucking helped. She was stillborn. I never even got to hold her..." As the memories came flooding in, (Y/n)'s eyes began burning, tears pouring down. "I was so heartbroken... that I activated my eyes..." She looked over at Konan. Konan gasped, seeing (Y/n)'s eyes blood red, glowing with the Sharingan. "I accidentally killed a nurse with them... I didn't mean t-to..." (Y/n) sobbed, covering her face. Konan immediately jumped into action, despite the two of them being naked, she pulled (Y/n) into her arms and tried to soothe the crying woman. "No, no, don't cry," She said softly. "I felt so terrible... I didn't want to live... I-I tried to cut my own throat..." (Y/n) confessed, holding onto Konan's arm. (Y/n) tried to calm herself, still shaking. "They kept me in the mental ward for weeks... Once I got out, I was a pariah. No one wanted to come n-near me... I was visiting my mother's grave when I was kidnapped by Orochimaru... I was tortured and experimented on... I didn't think it could get worse until S... until S-Sasuke came. He beat and raped me almost every day..." (Y/n) shook her head and pushed Konan away, feeling bile rise in her throat. She quickly exited the water and found a wastebasket to dry heave into, seeing as she hadn't eaten since the last time she had done this.
Konan got out of the water, wrapping a towel around herself as she went to rub (Y/n)'s back. "Shh, it's okay... Just breathe, you're okay..." She whispered softly. Once (Y/n) stopped heaving, Konan hugged (Y/n) to her chest, letting the younger woman cry. Slowly the sobs turned into sniffles. "Okay," Konan gently pushed (Y/n) away and used her thumbs to wipe (Y/n)'s tears away. "You're okay here... Why don't we dry off, get dressed, then get some food, hm?" She asked with a kind smile. (Y/n) gave her a weak one and nodded a bit. "Y-yeah... okay." (Y/n) wiped her eyes and stood. The two women got dressed at (Y/n)'s pace. "Hey," (Y/n) said softly, "Could you not tell anyone about this?" She asked, looking over at Konan, who was zipping up her shirt. "Don't worry, everything is strictly between us." (Y/n) smiled a bit, slipping on her shoes. They exited the hot spring and walked back to the hideout. The two talked quietly, laughing amongst themselves as they entered the kitchen. Itachi sat at the kitchen table with Deidara, sipping a cup of tea. As the two women passed him, he received icy glares from them both. They quickly got themselves food and something to drink. "C'mon, (Y/n). We'll hang out in my room," Konan told (Y/n), ushering her out as she shot another glare at Itachi. Deidara looked at the raven-haired man. "Itachi, my man, what the fuck did you do, hm?"
It had been nearly a week since Kakashi had seen (Y/n). This wasn't something entirely out of the ordinary. There were times when he'd go a week or even two without seeing her. But this time was different... The last time he had seen her, she didn't seem okay. He sighed, looking down the hall toward his daughter's room. He really was a terrible father, wasn't he? So scared of being hurt that he pushes his own child away. He sat forward in his seat, holding his head in his hands. Each time he tried to reach out to (Y/n) they would fight. She was a complete hardhead, like him. Stubborn and strong like her mother... Kyomi... His heart clenched when he imagined her face... Her perfectly round cheeks, plump pink lips, warm smile... Shining onyx eyes and luscious midnight hair that fell to the backs of her knees. God how (Y/n) was like her mother... That's why he couldn't bear to look at you look at her as she grew, he could only see Kyomi. He should have never let her go that day... If he hadn't, she might still be alive... She could have been here with him and (Y/n). Before Kakashi could get lost in his memories and what could have been, there was a knock on the door. Kakashi composed himself and answered the door. Gai stood there with a worried expression. He quickly forced his signature smile, but his eyes were still laced with concern. He held a bag of things for (Y/n). A bag of her favorite chips and a few cans of her favorite juice.
"Kakashi, my rival! I came to see how (Y/n) is doing," Gai said, not as loud as usual. Kakashi scratched the back of his head. "You know she doesn't talk to me, Gai..." He told his friend, stepping aside for him to come in. Gai entered the apartment and Kakashi closed the door. "I haven't even seen her since I told her about Sasuke... But I guess that's to be expected," Kakashi sighed. "Kakashi, I don't think she's even left the apartment. She hasn't come to our usual training sessions since he returned. You don't think..." Gai paused, looking at the hall worriedly, "You don't think she's trying to hurt herself again, do you? Or if she has?" Kakashi sighed again. "I don't know Gai. You know she refuses to talk to me, every time we do we fight." Kakashi stated, looking down. "Kakashi," Gai said, grabbing his rival's shoulders, "Now is not the time to mope around! Your daughter needs you right now. So buck up and let's go check on her," Gai said with a smile. Kakashi nodded a bit and the two men headed to (Y/n)'s door. Gai gently knocked on the door. "(Y/n)? It's Gai, sweet lotus blossom." Silence... "I brought your favorites, dear. I know you haven't been feeling well with everything going on, but I thought we could talk." Still no response. Kakashi finally spoke up. "C'mon (Y/n)... We're worried about you." He said softly.
No answer came from behind the door. Kakashi sighed in frustration. "We're not doing this again, (Y/n)! You can't just lock yourself in your room!" Kakashi raised his voice as he spoke. Gai gently grabbed his friend's arm. "Kakashi, yelling won't-" Kakashi snatched his arm away. "No! I'm tired of this! (Y/n) you are an adult, a ninja, a Jonin, crying out loud! I know this suck, I know it's hard! But you can't just shut out those who care about you. We're worried about you. I know I haven't been the best father to you... I wasn't there when you needed me. But please... Let me try to be there now..." He said weakly. When still nothing came the two men become worried. Kakashi made the first move and did something he never dared before. He opened his daughter's bedroom door. What they saw shocked them. It was spotless, everything in its place, bed made, and the window open. Gai and Kakashi entered the room, searching for any sign of her. Gai stuck his head in the bathroom, "(Y/n)?" Kakashi walked over to her bed and saw the two letters. Kakashi felt dread grow in the pit of his stomach. "Gai..." Hi said, just loud enough to catch the man's attention. Gai came over and picked up the letter with his name on it. Gai began to panic. He swiftly opened the letter and read it aloud,
"Dear Gai,
By the time you read this, I will be long gone. I know this won't be easy on you, but these are my last words to you. I wanted to say thank you. Thank you for everything you've ever done for me. You've always been there for me when I needed you. Please know you did everything you could to stop this happening, but even sometimes the best of intentions just aren't enough. Everything has just come to a head and I can't do it anymore. I love you so much, so please don't blame yourself. I've been hiding everything so I didn't worry you. You and Lee have been like family to me. Please don't come looking for me, I don't want you to see this... Thank you so much for being a father to me, please never change. Your surrogate daughter, (Y/n).
P.S. Please tell Lee I regret not accepting his invitations for dates."
Gai's stomach dropped. No... No this couldn't be happening. (Y/n) had been improving. She had been smiling, interacting. He felt tears burning his eyes as he read the letter again. "No... No, no, no! This isn't right! We have to find her! There might still be time! We have to-" "Gai... Stop." Kakashi said softly, fighting tears. "But she could still be-" "SHE'S GONE GAI!" Kakashi yelled, tears spilling from his visible charcoal-colored eye. "She's gone... I lost my daughter and I never got to make up for everything I put her through..." Kakashi gingerly picked up the letter addressed to him. He was terrified to read what she had written for him. His hands hesitated to open the letter. He knew it was nothing good. He knew it was everything she'd ever wanted to say to him over the years. Gently popping the seal, he slid the paper out of the envelope. The paper was the stationary he had gotten her for her birthday years prior... He took a deep breath and began to read it with a shaky voice,
"Dad...
I haven't called you in years, have I? Not since I became a Jonin... There are so many things I wanna say but I'm not sure how to... I'm sorry, I guess, is the first. I'm sorry I wasn't good enough-" Kakashi sobbed, "I'm sorry I wasn't good enough for you to love. I'm sorry that I was a burden to you. I always tried so hard to impress you, to make you proud of me but-" Kakashi couldn't keep reading as he broke down in sobs. Gai took the letter and kept reading, "But it wasn't enough. I know I'm a disappointment to you and I'm sorry. I'm sorry to leave you like this. But I can't keep pretending I'm okay. I'm sorry dad, but this just isn't my place. I've tried so long to fix this, but this world is just evil. There's nothing for me here, I'm just wasted space. Without Mizuki here I can't find the will to go on anymore. I'm not needed here anymore, but I hope this makes you stronger. Please don't miss me, I'm not worth it. Goodbye. Your daughter, (Y/n)." Gai finished as Kakashi cried. Gai had never seen his rival ever cry... He gently folded the letter and placed it in his pocket. "I..." Gai paused, "I'm going to do inform the Hokage that we've lost her." As Gai left the room, Kakashi sat on his bed and began to break down more and more.
His baby girl was gone and it was his fault.
There you all go. Please Comment and Vote and tell me what you think.