AFTER THE ATROCIOUS revelation of Brenton and Amber, I practically sprinted to my room to tell James what had happened. I sat by my window for nearly an hour but he was nowhere to be found. I took out my cell phone and sent him a quick text to ask about his whereabouts. No less than a minute later did my phone vibrate with his reply.
On my way to my mom's for the weekend.
I smiled at his message, glad he was spending more time with Helena. She was a sweet woman and it was evident they both really loved each other. I didn't want to intrude on their family time so I made a mental note not to bother him for the rest of the weekend.
Since I had nothing better to do I went downstairs, instantly regretting that when I saw Mom and Brenton in the kitchen speaking in hushed voices. What was with these people and having private conversations in the kitchen? I cleared my voice upon entry so I wouldn't get accused of eavesdropping and the two of them jumped. Both of them avoided my gaze which further increased my suspicions.
I narrowed my eyes. "What is it?"
"Nothing," Brenton replied a bit too quickly. When he saw my hard look he dropped the act. "Dad called."
I felt my throat go dry. "What?"
Mom sighed and it wasn't until now that I noticed her. For a woman who usually kept herself put together she looked like a complete mess. Her usually perfectly curled hair was messy from what I presumed to be her angrily running her hands through it, her suit was wrinkly and her worry lines were more prominent than ever.
"He wants to see you kids," she said without making eye contact.
"When?" I asked eagerly, earning the stink eye from my twin.
I wanted to hate Dad for everything he did but I just couldn't find it in myself. All I had ever wanted the last five years was to be a family again. When Dad was here we were all a lot happier, and my relationship with Mom didn't deteriorate until after he left. I was hoping if he entered our lives again we could go back to being happy. Alex was too young to remember and Niko and Brenton hated him, but I knew once we all got together they'd realize just how much they loved and missed Dad. I was certain of it.
Mom finally looked up and I saw the pain in her eyes which made me feel bad, but at the same time, he was my father. I shouldn't have had to felt guilty about missing my father. "The choice is yours if you all want to see him."
Brenton's typically laidback composure was anything but. He was standing straight, his jaw clenched and his arms folded across his chest. "I don't want to see that bastard," he spat. In any other situation Mom would've scolded him for using that word but this time she didn't say anything.
"Come on," I encouraged.
"Do whatever you want but I want nothing to do with him. And I'm not letting Alex go anywhere near that dick."
I frowned. There was one thing for Brenton to not want to see Dad but he couldn't restrict Alex from seeing his own father. "That's not fair."
"Life isn't fair." He glared at me. "After what happened I thought you were smart enough to not open this Pandora's box again."
"I'm surprised you even know what that is." When Brenton didn't crack a smile I knew he was serious. "You, of all people, should know how much his leaving hurt me."
His tough expression softened. "When he abandoned us who was there to hold you and comfort you until you stopped crying? When kids at school made fun of us for not having a dad who beat them up? When you missed him and couldn't go to sleep who stayed up with you all night just so you weren't alone?" Any lingering softness in his eyes disappeared. "No one's seen how much he hurt you like I did. He didn't have a second thought about leaving us and I had to pick up all the broken pieces. I can't see you hurt like that again." Brenton's voice faltered at the end, making my heart wrench.
"It's going to be different this time."
"How?" he shouted. "Tell me how in the hell it's going to be different this time? He wants absolutely nothing to do with us. Had he actually cared, he would've reached out five goddamn years ago!"
"Brenton," Mom said in a stern voice. "You've made your decision, let your sister make hers."
"This is bullshit." He pushed past me and stomped up the stairs. I didn't want to be alone with Mom so I went upstairs too. I knew better than to talk to my twin when he was mad so I went to my room instead.
Remember when I said I wouldn't bother James this weekend? Well I lied, I needed his advice. Dialling in his number, I waited as the bell rang once, twice, three times but no answer. I tried calling again a few more times but he wasn't picking up. The one time I really needed his levelheadedness and clear judgement and he wasn't here to offer it. Perhaps this was the universe telling me not to bother him, or telling me to make my own decision for once. I wasn't sure what to think so I decided to make my choice when Brenton had calmed down. I didn't want to upset him at the moment so I figured it was best to wait.
~*~
By the time Monday rolled around James was still not here. It could have just been that he missed biology but it was weird that he was absent and didn't tell me. I texted him a few times during the day but I got no response. Perhaps I was overthinking it and he was just busy, but when the school day ended I waited in the parking lot for twenty minutes before I realized he wasn't coming. He might have just taken his motorcycle to school but the least he could've done was let me know instead of driving off without telling me.
When I picked up Alex from school I didn't want to go home so we went to the Stone Creek Café instead. The mayor elections were coming up in a few weeks and Mom was slowly going crazy. I knew she was just nervous but it was gradually driving us all to the brinks of insanity. She was so on her toes and unhinged that even the smallest things set her off. Mom kept emphasizing that she needed all of our support and lectured us every night at dinner to not do anything irresponsible or questionable because it could jeopardize her whole campaign. We had heard her speech so many times, the three of us would take turns mimicking her at dinner. I was counting down the days until this stupid election was over so I never had to hear anyone talk about mayor for at least another four years.
"Are you and Holden together again?" Alex asked as I parked the car outside the diner.
I gritted my teeth, resisting the temptation to throw my little brother out the window. "We're not dating."
"If you say so..."
I rolled my eyes as I turned to look at him. "I'm with James, okay?"
"The scary neighbour?"
I nodded my head. "And Holden is just a friend. Stop saying stuff like that, I don't want anyone else to hear and get the wrong idea."
Alex eyed me skeptically. "Does Mom know about your boyfriend?"
"No, and if you want me to buy you food you're going to keep your mouth shut."
He gave me a mock salute before jumping out of the car. It wasn't until I was alone did I breathe a sigh of relief. Why were all of my brothers so damn infuriating? Eventually I got out and went inside where Alex was already seated in a booth. He waved me over to come sit with him so I sat in the seat across from him. We were only seated for a few seconds when our server came.
"Greetings, esteemed guests of this fine establishment. How may I be of service today?"
Alex rolled his eyes and I couldn't help but mimic his actions. "Keep this up and you're not getting a tip," I said with a yawn.
Holden scowled at us. "You cheapskates don't even pay, much less give a tip."
"Can we have pancakes?" Alex asked.
Holden ruffled his hair playfully which made Alex glare at him. "Silly kid, it's four in the afternoon."
"Pancakes are universal," he huffed, smacking Holden's hand away.
"Alex," I scolded though I was trying not to laugh. When both boys looked at me in anticipation I announced our order. "We'll take four chocolate chip pancakes with extra chocolate sauce, vanilla ice cream, whipped cream, and strawberries on top."
Alex's brown eyes gleamed with joy. "Really?"
"What can I say? Pancakes are universal."
"You're way better than Brent!" he continued, flashing me a toothy grin.
Holden chuckled as he jotted down our order in his notepad. "You two are something else."
"Bite us," Alex scoffed, earning a gasp from me.
Holden, who was also surprised, left without saying a word. When he was gone I reached over the table and flicked Alex's forehead. "What's wrong with you?"
He shook his head, strands of his dark brown hair falling over his eyes. "I don't like him."
I arched an eyebrow. "Why not?"
The anger on his face was replaced with a sad look. "Because of what he did to you."
"You know?" I was assuming he was referring to the kiss and the broken nose, but how the hell did he even know about any of this? Brenton and I didn't tell him and I doubted Mom did, plus Alex wasn't even there from what I recalled.
He nodded his head dejectedly. "Holden's a dick."
I gaped at him. "You can't use words like that."
His mouth curved into a frown, and he paired that with his infamous puppy dog eyes making my defences crumble. "I'm sorry, Dani."
I reached over the table to where his hand was resting and I took it in mine. "Don't apologize, kid. I love you."
He made a face and yanked his hand away. "Ew, do I have to say it back?"
Well, there went that heartwarming moment.
After a while, our food came out, but I guessed Holden learned his lesson because he didn't stop to chitchat with us. While Alex dug into his meal I gazed around the café to see if I could spot the familiar mop of blonde hair, my appetite slowly diminishing when I realized he was nowhere in sight. James wasn't at home, he wasn't at school, he wasn't at work, so where the hell was he?
"Are you gonna finish that?" Alex asked as he pointed at my plate, his fingers and face covered in ice cream. I wordlessly pushed my plate to him before getting up to find our server.
Holden was at the cash register typing in an order but he stopped when he saw me. "Need something?"
"I was just wondering if James was in today."
Holden looked at me with confusion which made my heart sink. I knew it couldn't have been easy for me to be talking to him so openly about the guy I was seeing considering he had feelings for me. In any other situation, he would have been the last person I talked to about James, but I had an unsettling feeling in the pit of my stomach and I just really needed to know where he was.
"Dani," he said slowly. "James doesn't work here."
"What are you talking about? Yes, he does." That made absolutely no sense at all. Of course he worked here, I'd only dropped him to work like a week or two ago. Sure I didn't walk him all the way inside but I had been dropping and picking him up from outside the diner.
Holden frowned. "No, he quit a while ago. I thought you knew."
I felt like I was going to puke. A wave of nausea and foreboding clouded through my head but I ignored those thoughts and plastered a forced smile on my face. "Right, I totally forgot."
His frown deepened. "Are you sure?"
I nodded. "It slipped my mind, thanks anyway."
I turned on my heel and practically sprinted back to my table before he could stop me. Alex was practically licking the chocolate sauce off his plate when I returned. I took out my wallet and slapped a few bills on the table before grabbing his sticky hand and dragging him out of the café. I didn't miss the strange look Holden gave me but I pretended like I didn't notice as we left.
"What about dessert?" Alex whined.
"Chew on some ice when we get home," I barked as I ushered him in the car.
My mind was racing a million miles a minute as I drove and as soon as we made it home I practically shoved Alex out of the car. I breathed to try and calm myself as I stayed in the car before taking out my phone and dialling James' number. The bell rang for a while before sending me to voicemail again. Letting out a groan, I punched in a new number.
"Hello?" the voice on the other end answered almost immediately.
"Helena," I greeted.
"Daniella," I couldn't help but grimace, "it's so good to hear from you! How are you?"
"I'm well." I really didn't have time for pleasantries. "I was wondering if you could put James on the line?" I chewed on my lower lip nervously while I was met with silence on the other end of the line. That couldn't be a good sign.
"Daniella," cue another grimace, "I'm not sure what you're asking."
"James," I repeated. "Can I speak to James?"
"Honey, he's not here."
I felt my stomach drop at your words. "What do you mean?"
"He's visiting next weekend," she clarified. "Is there something wrong?"
I swallowed hard. "N-no, I must have mixed up the dates. Take care, Helena."
I hung up and took in a shaky breath. James wasn't answering his phone, or at his mom's like he told me, or at home, or at school or work, so where the hell was he? A myriad of worst case scenarios swirled through my mind of what could have happened to him. God, how could I have been so stupid? Here I was thinking he was perfectly fine when it had been two days since I'd last spoken to him. Even then, I only communicated with him via text so what if I wasn't actually speaking to James? The nausea I had at the café returned tenfold and I didn't know what to do. Should I tell his guardian? Call the cops? What good would any of those do? It had been two days since I'd last seen him, I didn't know his current location, and his alibi for the weekend clearly didn't check out. Either James was hiding something from me or he was in serious trouble. I was so concerned I didn't even care if he was lying. I just wanted him to be safe and come back, wherever the hell he was.