Chapter 19
Ella
Torn
A/N - This novel was put on the top teen fiction charts for a little bit these past few days, and I was so excited! Thank you guys so much for reading, voting, or even checking this out! The support really does keep me writing. Also, I have a new novel idea in the works, that I'm really excited about, so keep an eye out for that (: Thanks again!
It’s been almost two weeks since the accident and Jagger still hasn’t woken up.
I’ve spent every single day in the uncomfortable, itchy chairs beside his bed, begging him silently to wake up. I couldn’t take the waiting any longer. It was killing me to see him lying in the bed for so long like this. I could feel it eating away at my heart as I ran my eyes down the multitude of injuries covering his body. It all made me feel so hopeless, just sitting there, hoping and praying for him to wake up from all of this.
Cooper and I haven’t spoken much since the incident last week, and I didn’t think he was planning on being here unless I wasn’t. I heard from Wyatt that he would sometimes bring Cooper to Jagger’s room while I was downstairs in the cafeteria eating, or catching a quick shower at home before returning. I hadn’t meant to hurt Cooper, not in the least bit. Most of the emotions radiating through me during that fight were more to protect that boy I loved who was hurt. I never meant to hurt Cooper in any way.
This was why it made it so awkward when I walked towards Jag’s room from the cafeteria during mid-afternoon today. I had brought a muffin up from the café so I could watch the television and eat with Jag by my side, just like I usually did during this time of day. The only thing that differed between today and any other day though, was seeing the people I least expected to see. I would have expected to see Wyatt or the other boys because they always came by when they had the time. Wyatt and I even ended up spending the day with Jag together only a few days ago.
I just hadn’t expected to see Cooper and her when I walked through the heavy door.
The door slammed shut behind me, echoing in the awkward, intense silence throughout the room. Cooper was beside Jag’s bed, holding onto his hand while he spoke. Only, his words weren’t meant for Jag, but rather for the wretched girl standing in five inch stilettos at the foot of my boyfriend’s bed. She had her arms crossed while she listened to him with wary eyes. I looked between them both, realizing that neither of them even bothered to look at who came through the door. They were too heavily involved in a conversation that shouldn’t have been for her ears. Which is why I snapped.
“What the hell are you doing here?” I seethed, clenching my fist around the paper bag in my hand.
They both finally looked over at me, sharing a look of nervousness from Cooper and a look of shamelessness from the bitch in front of him. She smiled sweetly, flipping a strand of curly brown locks behind her shoulder. It took all of the constraint in me not to fly across the room and throw her to the ground for all she’d done. And she actually had the audacity to show up in his room, when she knew he was with me…in love with me.
“I wanted to see how my baby was doing,” she said, looking back over at Jag with a smirk she didn’t even try to hide.
“He’s not your baby,” I countered. “Where do you get off even coming into his room like this?”
I was firmly planted by the doorway I’d previously walked through, not wanting to step any further into this room of pure betrayal. Caley Woods, the source for my past breakup and Jagger’s trust issues, was simply standing at the foot of his bed like it was usual to be checking up on him like this. And Cooper Tally, the man who knew what she’d done to Jagger and the many ways she’d fucked him up emotionally, was just sitting there in the same itchy chair I’d been planted in for two weeks, saying absolutely nothing.
“That’s where you’re wrong sweetie,” she said, looking back at me once again. “Why do you think he spent the night with me while he was on tour? The pictures don’t lie.”
“He always talked about how much a bitch you were. I shouldn’t be surprised. But you have absolutely no right to be standing in my boyfriend’s hospital room right now. You lost your chance two years ago. Now, get. Out,” I said pointedly, seething at the end of each word. I pointed a shaky finger at the door behind me, but she didn’t budge an inch.
“Cooper, why aren’t you doing anything?! You know how badly she’s treated him!” I shouted, probably alarming the few nurses at their station just only a few feet from the room I was in.
He sighed heavily, rubbing his temple with hard fingers. “It’s not like I can call security. She hasn’t done anything wrong.”
“Hmm,” she hummed happily, sending me another trademark smirk.
“You have got to be kidding me right now!” I yelled once again, throwing up my arms in pure disgust and frustration. I wasn’t going to let this tramp stand in this room with my baby’s father, acting like they still had something. If Jagger ever woke up and saw her standing there, he’d be just as angry as I am right now.
“Ella, please lower your voice. My boyfriend needs to have some peace and quiet,” she whispered.
My eyes widened in pure shock. This bitch has got to be kidding at this point. Either that or she was clearly delusional. After she cheated on Jagger two years ago, he’d broken up with her and hadn’t talked to her since the night at the bar. And even then, Caley had practically tried to take him hostage while he was heavily intoxicated. He wouldn’t want her at the foot of his bed, spewing crazy thoughts on the love she clearly had lost, not regained. If he ever knew she even step foot in this room, I knew he would freak out just like I am right now. Why wasn’t anyone trying to stop this?
“Cooper,” I whispered, shocked at what was happening before me. He couldn’t let this happen right now. Hell, he was even the one who rescued Jag from her those months ago while they were on tour. Why was he letting her be in this room?
Then we were stunned into silence as we heard a muffled groan. My eyes immediately fell to Jag on the bed. All of the fighting and the hate were halted as I watched him open his eyes, straining for a moment. My hand flew to my chest as my breathing hitched, and I dropped the bag in my hand while the tears quickly pooled at the rims of my eyes. I momentarily forgot that Caley was only a few feet away from us, and the Cooper was holding onto his hand.
All I could focus on…was him.
“What’s…” he went to say, his voice strained from being down for so long. He went to sit up, but winced as he realized that he’d sprained his arm in the crash. When he looked at his arm to pinpoint the hurt, his eyes widened as he took in all of the scars and dried blood sporadically placed on his limbs.
“Jag,” I breathed, my voice long gone as I heard him speak and move for the first time in weeks. The boy who had my heart was finally back again. I rushed over to his side, pushing Caley out of the way as I went to the opposite side of the bed that Cooper was sat. “I’m so glad you’re okay,” I choked out, clasping his hand with mine.
“Who…What…” he went to ask, but was at a lose for words. He looked around him quickly, taking in everything and everyone around him. At last, they landed on me, but then back to Caley once again.
“Babe?” he questioned, looking at Caley with wide eyes.
My heart had collapsed into a million pieces at the pit of my stomach then. He hadn’t said a word to me, not even recognized who I was. The one he clearly remembered was her…the one who broke his heart those years ago. I silently let my hand drop from his, noticing how he barely registered the touch to begin with. His attention was solely focused on the five foot five, undeniably beautiful, model at the foot of his bed, who smiled back at him with a look of accomplishment in her eyes.
I couldn’t process what was happening. My eyes stayed focused on them as they exchanged looks of love…the looks him and we used to give each other before he ended up in the accident. It was like they were the only two in the room. She walked over to Cooper’s side of the bed and sat down beside Jag, taking his hand in hers tightly. I felt so hollowed out, but yet so sick. I couldn’t register all that was going on, how he was smiling brightly at her, how she was acting like nothing from the past had happened. She was practically lying to him, taking him in with open arms like she hadn’t been such a bitch to him before.
And he didn’t even remember who I was.
I couldn’t take it all anymore, watching them act like reunited lovers. He didn’t even speak a word to me or Cooper. All of his attention was solely focused on Caley and her alone. They laughed like he’d never hurt before, exchanged looks like she was the only one he could think about. So I got up from the chair beside his bed without another glance. I walked so hurriedly, I barely heard Jagger speak to Cooper.
“Who was she?” he asked, very confused.
I walked quicker when I heard him say those life-altering three words. We’d spent four months together, he’d written songs for me, we opened up to each other, we’d created this baby…and he couldn’t even remember who I was. I rushed through the door, the tears now freely cascading down my cheeks. I was too numb to notice anything, only focusing getting as far away from Caley and Jagger as I could. I could practically feel the heavy aching in my chest just thinking about the way he looked at her, the way they held onto each other like no one else mattered to them.
What had happened?
I was so focused on getting away from all of this pain that I hadn’t noticed I bumped into someone on my journey to the exit. I almost fell to the ground before a white-coated arm caught onto my elbow, steadying me. I looked up from the linoleum, bright floors and locked eyes with the doctor I’d grown so accustomed to in the past two weeks I’d spent in this dreaded hospital.
“Ms. Montgomery, you should really watch where you’re going,” he smirked, toying with me.
Dr. Torrington was actually a quite attractive young man. He was over six feet tall, with chiseled features and a bright smile that could lighten anyone’s mood. He went over Jagger’s injuries and effects with me so well, even when he wasn’t really allowed to because I wasn’t considered family. Dr. Torrington was the only ounce of support I’d gotten while I stayed here night after night, aside from the occasional heart to heart with Charlee on the phone. I depended on him to make my boyfriend better, to bring him back to me in the same shape he was before all of this happened.
But he didn’t hold up his end of the bargain.
“Are you okay?” he asked, dropping the smirk when he took in my obviously distressed state. I couldn’t imagine what I looked like to everyone in the hallway right now, but it wasn’t even the beginning of my concerns.
“Actually,” I sniffed, running a hand through my hair to get it out of my face. “I’m not. Which is quite expected after seeing my boyfriend who I’d waited for to wake up for the past two weeks, cuddling his ex as soon as he woke up.”
His face dropped more than it already had at my words. “What are you talking about, Ms. Montgomery? He’s woken up?”
I merely nodded, wiping underneath my wet eyes with a finger. “He has. And he doesn’t even remember who I am,” I choked out, sniffing once again.
“Walk with me,” he suggested, placing a comforting hand behind my back, guiding me back to that horrible room.
“I can’t go back in there,” I protested, shaking my head. “I can’t look at that again.”
Dr. Torrington assessed me with wary eyes before nodding. “Okay, I’ll be back out. Just let me see what’s going on, alright?”
I nodded as I watched him disappear behind the door. There was a small window in the upper middle part of the wooden door, but I couldn’t will myself to look through it. I couldn’t bear to see those two together, acting like I never existed. Cooper hadn’t said a word to make her leave, and he didn’t even correct Jagger when he called the wrong girl ‘babe.’ It was like he didn’t care that Jagger was taking a downward spiral in his life by choosing to remember the girl who broke his heart, who ruined his trust. How could a man who was supposed to be almost a second father let him do such a thing to himself?
I felt my breathing come in heavier gasps as I ran through all that would happen through my head. He couldn’t remember who I was, that we loved each other, that he was the father of the baby I was currently carrying. This all meant that he didn’t remember our night at the party, those fights, and those make-ups. He couldn’t remember the nights together backstage, the songs he wrote for me. He couldn’t even remember that he was going to be a father.
I placed a hand lightly over my small bump, only merely visible through my thin t-shirt. What was going to happen if he could never get his memory back, if he could never remember that fact that he helped me create this beautiful baby? Would my baby be forced to grow up without their father? Could I even do this all by myself without the boy who had my heart in his hands?
I found that I was still only left with questions. Ever since I met Jagger, it had been a mess of questions and risky chance-taking. I’d never once had a plan set in stone when it came to that boy, and I still didn’t. I took that risk all those months ago when he asked if we could give this a shot, and now I was left to take care of this mess all by myself. I knew I shouldn’t have taken the chance; I shouldn’t have opened myself up so much around him. I told him this would only end in heartbreak for me.
“Ms. Montgomery?” Dr. Torrington’s voice interrupted my mental breakdown. I whipped my head towards him and gave him a look I knew was full of every emotion I was experiencing in that moment. This was it, he was about to tell me that I could no longer be with the boy I loved.
“This is it, isn’t it?” I asked, mimicking my earlier doubts. “He won’t ever remember me?”
He sighed heavily, looking down at the massive clipboard in his hands. “He seems to be experiencing some type of short-term memory loss. He remembers events from almost a year and a half ago, but not many from right now. He could remember who Mr. Tally was, who that woman in there was. When I mentioned your name, he blanked,” he said quietly, looking up at me with sorrowful eyes. “But this isn’t the end, Ms. Montgomery.”
“What do you mean it’s not the end? I can’t stand by and watch him love a girl like her. Not when...” I trailed off. Dr. Torrington knew I was pregnant, and it didn’t take a genius to realize that the man who couldn’t seem to remember the girl he loved only two weeks ago was the father.
“There are options,” he said, looking back down at the clipboard. “I’ve seen plenty of patients come back from instances like these. Everything seems to come back to them at some point in time. He just needs time. You could try to slowly ease yourself into his life, see if something clicks for him to trigger his memory,” he suggested, writing notes in the margins of Jagger’s chart.
“I can’t do that, Dr. Torrington,” I whispered, looking down at the floor. “That woman in there…” I began, but stopped myself. I didn’t need to drag a total stranger in my dramatic events. “He doesn’t care for me anymore. I can’t stay around knowing he feels nothing for me.”
“I’m sorry to hear that, Ms. Montgomery. But before you make any drastic choices, realize that he could come back from this. Just…keep that in mind, for yourself…and for your child,” he said, gesturing towards my stomach before putting the clipboard underneath his arm.
“Thank you for everything you’ve done, Dr. Torrington. Even if it didn’t…work out like we thought it would,” I smiled small, letting it slip away just as quickly.
He placed a warm hand on my shoulder for comfort. “Please consider what I said, okay? I wish you the best, Ella,” he said, smiling at me before squeezing my shoulder and walking down the hall to attend to his other patients.
I fell against the wall behind me; feeling like all the air had escaped my lungs. My heart was heavy, reminding me that this was it. That was the last I’d be able to see of Jagger. Caley would certainly make sure he’d see nothing of me while she was getting her way. Even if I wanted to stay and try to make him remember everything we’d had, she would never let me have it. She’d finally won what she’s always wanted. She won the boy who had my heart, while I was left alone, to pick up the pieces that he helped me create.
Now I really had to do all of this without him.