Damn I am so sorry guys :( I am just getting worse and worse at updating these days. Please forgive me? :(( I can't express enough how stressed out I am about school with all the testing and homework >.< I'm also getting a bad case of writer's block so please bear with me guys :(
I'm going to have to find another way to make this work because not only does it piss me off that I can't get these chapters in fast enough, I'm positive that it's not alright to keep you guys waiting either so lemme think about what i'm gonna do...I might make up my mind in the next chapter (we'll see how long that takes)
Anyway, thanks for reading guys and please vote and comment :)) also I'm sorry if this chapter is short and terrible...grrrrr....>.<
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Recap
Liam’s POV
Niall was watching me, his concern seemed to be growing. "Liam. What's wrong? You look pale..."
I silently begged Kale with my eyes, pleading for him to say it. He sighed heavily, keeping his eyes steady on me as he let the word slip out of his mouth.
"Yes."
A simple word. The ice-breaker.
With that, my vision grew hazy. I remembered stumbling on my feet, I remembered falling into Niall's arms...
Then darkness.
End of Recap
** ** **
Niall’s POV
The moment that Liam passed out in my arms I felt like I was going crazy. I mean, it wouldn’t be the first time but…you get what I mean.
His face had gone ashen-white, so white I thought he was going to die or something. And his eyes…they were so wide, so full of fear and desperation…that it made me hysterical just by looking into them.
“Oh hell…oh bloody hell…” I whispered, keeping my eyes locked on the boy in my arms. The one so broken and filled with fear all the time…the love of my life…
Breaking apart a little every day.
I couldn’t allow that to happen to him. I promised myself and to Liam that I wouldn’t let it happen. That I would do all in my willpower to not let him break.
Well, here I am. Holding Liam in my arms, crying my eyes out, and letting him break.
What kind of bastard was I?
“Li…L-Liam I’m sorry…please wake up…I made a p-promise to you and I’m bloody keeping it, do you hear me? I can fix this…I promised…” I wept pitifully into his hair, holding his body close to mine as we drove back to the house. Louis, who sat across the seats, gave me a gentle look and reached out his hand to touch my shoulder.
“Niall, listen to me. Liam isn’t dead, alright? He just passed out is all. He’s going to be alright, mate. Everything will be alright—”
“NO!” I screamed at him, startling everyone else in the car. Louis seemed unfazed by my action. Though, his grey eyes grew solemn as they peered at me. I tried to shake his hand off my shoulder but he only tightened his grip.
“Get off!” I choked out, my throat heavy with tears. “You don’t understand…y-you don’t understand…”
Harry reached over and touched my cheek with his hand, turning my face over to look at his seeing as he sat beside me. My eyes were blurry with tears as I looked at him, all the edges of his form coming together in a mass of colors.
“Tell us then, Niall. Help us understand. Help us so we can help you and Liam.” He spoke softly to me, using his thumb to wipe away the tears slipping from my eyes. A painful sob left between my lips as I looked into the deep green eyes of my best mate. He gave me a tiny, comforting smile as he waited for me to speak. I coughed out another sob as I struggled to speak.
“I-I pro-prom-m-pro-promised…” I stuttered out, breathing in shakily. Though, because the words sounded so thick with my accent, even I had trouble understanding what I said. And with the look of confusion on Harry’s face, I was positive he had no idea either.
“What was that, Ni? Come on, now, it’s okay. You can tell me.” He brought his hand up to wipe away a few strands of blonde hair hanging in my eyes before cupping my cheek. I wasn’t able to utter another sound, though. It took a lot to even say those two words. I didn’t have it in me anymore to speak.
I shook my head furiously before pulling away, burying my face back into Liam’s soft hair, pressing a kiss into it while sobbing again. I heard Louis sigh in exasperation, his hand falling from my shoulder. I bit my lip to try and quiet myself but to no avail.
Harry let out a breath of air. “Niall…mate, it’s alright.”
I felt him scoot closer to me and wrap an arm around my shoulder. I was about to shove him off when I remembered Liam and instead hugged his limp body to my chest. I brought my head back go gaze down at him. His eyes were shut closed, his cheeks no longer ghostly but instead coming back to their naturally pink tint, his lips parted slightly as they drew soft breaths of air. The only thing that disturbed his peacefulness was the dried tear tracks on his face.
I ran my hand through his hair, bringing my head down to place a kiss on his forehead, and whispered quietly to him.
“I love you, Liam. I love you s-so much, alright? I love you, I love you, I love you…” I placed a light kiss to his lips before pulling back again and admiring how calm he looked like this. I hadn’t seen him look so peaceful in a while.
I could feel Harry’s light breathing against the side of my neck. I rocked Liam in my arms, wishing for him to wake up already so I could hold him close….protect him.
I was lousy at protecting him.
“I-it’s a-a-all my f-fault…” I cried, feeling my limbs beginning to shake slightly as sobs threatened to erupt. I swallowed thickly. “…all m-my fault…”
Harry pulled me closer to him, using his other hand to wipe away some more tears. “No, Niall. Don’t you dare say that, alright? It’s not your fault. It’s not Liam’s. It’s not anybody’s. No one could have predicted it would happen, Ni.” He spoke to me softly. I hiccupped as I rocked Liam faster against my body.
Louis narrowed his eyes. “What the hell are you saying, Haz? Of course it someone’s fault! It’s that bastard’s fault! He did this and I swear if we ever find him—“
“—i-if?” I whispered, my eyes going wide. Was he saying that we were never going to find him? That we would never get justice? The word ‘if’ always had a 50/50 chance meaning to it. What if we never found the guy? What if he got away with this? What if he decided to strike again but on another innocent victim? What if?
Harry, noticing my distress, glared harshly at his boyfriend. “Louis.”
Louis hadn’t stopped talking though. He hadn’t seemed to have heard either of us. “—I’ll bloody kill the guy! I’ll get my hands on him and make sure he never has a damn fucking bright day again—!”
“Louis shut UP!” Harry hissed at him, his eyes so dark with anger that I had begun to shake violently. Harry glanced at me again, his gaze softening and he used his hand to touch my head and tuck it between his shoulder and neck. We were so close that he placed Liam’s head gently in his lap, helping me hold him up.
I blinked rapidly, my tears practically blinding me if I didn’t. “We’re n-never going to f-f-find him? I-is that wh-what you’re say-s-saying?” I watched Louis brokenly, feeling a deep sadness overcome me at the thought.
Louis’ eyes widened in surprise as if he just realized what he’d said. “W-what—NO. N-no I didn’t mean that Niall…I-I…I’m sorry I didn’t mean to s-say—”
Harry snapped at him. “Just leave it, Louis. Stop talking already. You’re only making it worse.”
A hurt look flashed across Louis’ face as he took in Harry’s words. He shut his mouth tightly and cast his eyes to the floor of the car in shame. I looked at him sadly, feeling bad for some reason, when I heard someone clear their throat.
“Look, mates,” Zayn started. I had forgotten he and Danielle were in the car as well. “Fighting isn’t going to solve anything. We need to keep things as level as possible if we want to figure this out. We especially need to be calm for Liam. I’m sure he doesn’t want us arguing over this.”
I gave him a grateful smile and he nodded at me through the rearview mirror. He was currently driving us while Danielle sat in the passenger’s seat. She let out a sigh before turning her head back to look at the three of us.
“Zayn’s right, guys. So stop all this arguing, alright? Everything is going to be okay.” She brought her eyes up to meet mine the moment she said the last part. I flinched and fought to keep myself from looking away.
“H-how can you be so sure…?” I whispered, hating how soft and weak my voice sounded. Danielle gave me a tender smile, looking down at Liam then back at me.
“I’m not 100% positive, Ni.” She spoke, her voice gentle. “But I am positive that we are never going to give up. We’re going to make sure this bastard gets what he deserves.”
I suppressed a chuckle at her cussing. I had never heard Danielle cuss before so it was a bit of a surprise. Harry’s eyebrow shot up as well but he remained motionless, keeping his eyes on me with a careful look.
I licked my lips, giving her a grateful smile through my eyes. It’s hard to believe that not very long ago this sweet, caring girl was someone I absolutely despised. Now, I was glad to consider her a friend.
“Thank you.” I murmured to her, bringing my eyes back down to look at my sleeping boyfriend. I heard a shuffle before I felt something soft touch my cheek. I looked up to find Danielle reaching her hand out and stroking my cheek with the back of her fingers.
When she found me looking, she gave me another heart-warming smile. “You’re welcome, Ni.” With that, she ruffled my hair before pulling back and sitting in her seat.
I sighed and looked back over at Louis. He was watching me just as carefully as Harry was. I gave him a lopsided smile and the corners of his mouth lifted slightly. He opened his mouth to say something when I felt the car halting to a stop.
I looked out the window to see that we had arrived home and brought my eyes back down to check on Liam.
"Do you need help carrying him?" Harry asked, tossing his head back to look at me as he slowly began to unwind his arms. I bit my lip as I contemplated the thought before shaking my head.
"No, it's alright. I've got him." I replied. Harry nodded and slid his body across the seats to push the door open and climb out. I looked over to see Louis doing the same thing and was about to follow their example when I felt Liam stir.
I looked to see his eyes fluttering open until the beautiful puppy browns were revealed. He blinked a few times, let out a tiny groan, before he actually focused his attention on me. When he found me staring, a confused look crossed his face and he began to sit up.
I tugged him closer onto my lap as he rubbed his eyes. "Liam...how are you feeling?" I asked him softly.
He sniffed and brought his eyes to study my face. "Erm...fine, I suppose. What happened?"
I let out a breath of relief and allowed my hand to trail to his back and rub it gently. "You fainted. Don't you remember?"
A thoughtful look went over his face as he tried to remember. I bit my lip as I watched him and grew a bit concerned when his face grew pale and he started to fumble a bit.
"E-erm no. No I d-don't remember..." He said quietly, throwing his gaze to his lap. I raised a brow, unconvinced.
"Are...are you sure, Li?" I asked, keeping my voice light. "Is there something you want to talk about? It's alright, love. You can tell me anything. There's no need to be afraid, okay? I've got you." I pressed a small kiss to the side of his cheek and pulled back only to see him frowning deeply.
"I'm not afraid." He muttered, narrowing his eyes to the window. I widened my eyes at this, surprised that he was getting irritated. I hadn't seen him act like this in quite a while. He was either afraid, sad, or just...emotionless. Never angry, though.
"Liam there's no need to be ashamed of having fear. It's completely normal considering what happened." I spoke gently, eyeing him cautiously as if he were a bomb ready to go off. I felt his body tense in my arms right before he turned his icy gaze on me.
"Well maybe I'm bloody sick of being afraid all the time." He spat, shifting in my arms. "I'm so tired of hearing the same excuse that everyone gives me. 'You're allowed to be afraid, sweetie, because you were raped' or 'It's alright to act like this. You went through a lot'. Fucking hell I'm so tired of it, Niall. It's not alright. I don't want to be afraid. So why the bloody hell does everyone keep telling me that?"
He pushed himself off my lap before I could stop him and quickly climbed out of the car. I let out a heavy sigh before sliding my body over and following after him. I slammed the car door shut and started to run considering he was taking long strides.
"Liam, wait." I called out, pumping my legs until I was right beside him. I grabbed his elbow to stop him but the moment I did, he swirled around to face me. His eyes were wide, full of anger, confusion, conflict, fear.
He looked lost.
"Stop." He tried to tell me, his voice thick. "Stop, Niall. Please stop helping me."
I gave him an appalled look and released his elbow. "Why? Why would you say that, Liam? I want to help you."
A pained looked crossed over his face and he threw a hand up to grab the back of his neck in aggravation. I watched, mouth agape, as he let out a frustrated scream and shut his eyes tightly.
I carefully reached out my hand again to touch him, cautious, but he only pushed away from me and crouched down on his knees. He buried his face into his hands as he began to breathe heavily, big heaving breaths of air that shook his body. I groaned inwardly as I watched him, wanting so badly to comfort him.
"Liam..." I whispered, stepping closer.
He didn't move but his breathing began to calm down a bit. I swallowed as I took a few more steps until I was crouching beside him. I placed my hand on his lower back and he winced, bringing his eyes up to look at me. I felt my heart drop when I saw his face was again covered with tears.
"I-I'm sorry..." He choked, blinked furiously at the tears. "I d-didn't m-mean to shout at y-you...fucking hell what's happening to me?" He sobbed, burying his face away again. I had to swallow back a hard lump in my throat a few times before I could speak. I pushed closer to him until I had my arms wrapped around him.
He sunk into my embrace without a second thought and clung to me as if a small child would. I stroked his hair as he shed tears. I frowned sadly while hugging him close.
“Shh, love. It’s alright…it’s alright…” I repeated, shutting my eyes. The words were pointless. They were just…words. Liam was right about that. No matter how many times people said that, no matter how many times they promised it was going to be okay…
…was it really?
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Harry’s POV
“Fuck, what are we going to do, Louis?” I asked, my voice growing solemn as I watched my two best mates outside. Liam had crouched down onto his knees, sobs shaking his body, a few seconds before Niall came over and knelt down to wrap him in his arms. I swallowed back the dryness in my throat, feeling terrible for all that’s happened.
Louis let out a little sigh as he came over to stand beside me. His eyes trailed over to where I was looking and I flinched when he sucked in a sharp breath of air.
“I’ll tell you what we’re gonna do,” He murmured, keeping his gray eyes on the couple as well. “We’re going to find that bastard and we’re going to send him to rot away.”
I bit my lip and turned my eyes over to look at him. “What if we don’t? What if things never get better…Liam gets worse? How are we going to work things out?” I could feel my bottom lip beginning to tremble and Louis seemed to notice this.
He reached out his arms to wrap them around me and I tucked my face into his neck. I could feel him running his hands through my curls soothingly and I let out a sigh of content.
“Don’t say that.” He whispered into my hair. “Things will get better. And if they don’t…well then we’re going to bloody be here for Liam. We’ll take care of him, Haz. We won’t let him break.”
I felt a small tear slip down my face as he said this. “Damn right we won’t. I can’t stand to s-see him like that…. The bastard will pay, won’t he?”
Louis nodded above me. “Like hell he will.”
I breathed out for a moment as silence encircled us. It wasn’t unusual these days for things to be really quiet. You’d think that since we’re those crazy lads of One Direction then we’d be all loud and weird as we used to be, eh?
Well not anymore.
I snuggled into Louis’ embrace, inhaling the cinnamon smell wafting from him, when a shrill, ringing sound interrupted the silence. I watched as Louis reached into his pocket to pull out his phone and glance at the screen.
When a scowl formed on his lips, I already knew who was calling before he even spoke. I wasn’t enjoying the idea of having to cooperate with them either but nonetheless, they had something that could help us.
“Answer it.” I told Louis, not leaving any room for arguments. He looked at me for a second before sighing and pressing the Talk button.
“Hello?” He muttered, frowning deeper. It was silent again except for the little voice at the other end of the phone. After about a minute, Louis’ eyes widened and he looked at me with eagerness.
“You did?” He asked, throwing his eyes around the room fervently. I gave him a curious look but kept silent until he was ready to tell me. Another silence passed until he began to nod like a madman.
“Yeah, yeah…of course! We’ll be there in ten.” He said and was about to hang up when the person at the other end spoke quickly.
Louis bit his lip. “Leave him here? I don’t think Niall will be to keen on leaving him alone, Brayden.”
I furrowed my eyebrows and whispered. “What’s he telling you?”
Louis spared me a glance but only ignored my question. “Alright. Alright, we’ll be there soon. Okay…okay bye.” With that, he hung up and jammed his phone into his pocket.
“Go get Danielle and Zayn. We’re going to go meet up with Brayden and Kale again.” He spoke quickly, letting go of me. I ran a hand through my hair.
“What was he saying?” I asked.
Louis licked his lips as he fumbled to get his jacket that he threw over the couch. “He said that Kale was able to get a hold of that asshole—Brent was it? Oh who cares? We need to hurry up and go to their house because that’s where they’re meeting him at. Harry go get the others, please.” He stuffed his arms into the sleeves and gave me a desperate look.
I nodded and was about to go when another thought passed my mind. “What about Niall and Liam? Did he say they shouldn’t come?”
Louis gave me an exasperated look. “Of course. Why would we want Liam to come if that guy is actually the one who…you know…” He cast his eyes to the ground for a moment before looking back up.
I swallowed. “You’re right. Sorry.”
I gave him one last look before going towards the bottom of the stairs and yelling up. “Oi! Zayn and Danielle get down here so we can go to Brayden’s! Lou says that we’re meeting up with them again!”
I heard a couple of sentences exchanged before their footsteps quickly sped towards the staircase. I let out a breath when I saw Danielle and Zayn practically bouncing down the steps with haste.
Zayn looked at me as he reached the bottom step. “What’s this about meeting with Kale and Brayden again?”
Louis came over to stand beside me. “Brayden told me that they found a way to get Brent to meet with them at their house. He wants the four of us to go meet with them as well.”
Dani ran a hand down her long, brown hair. “Wait—what about Liam and Niall?”
Louis let out a tired sigh. “He told us not to bring Liam because the guy might be the one we’re after. We can’t leave Liam alone so Niall will stay with him.”
“—what are you guys talking about?” Niall’s voice entered the room. All four of us let out a little jump and I had to refrain from laughing at how ridiculous the situation was. I brought my eyes over to see Niall and Liam standing near the door as Niall shut it.
Liam rubbed his eyes and walked closer to Niall to hide behind him. Niall gave him a soft look and reached up a bit to kiss his cheek before turning over and giving each of us a stern look.
Zayn coughed awkwardly as Louis replied to him. “We’re going to go see Brayden and Kale.”
A flash of anger went through Niall’s eyes. “Again? What for?”
I rubbed my hand together nervously. “Erm…to discuss a few things. Don’t worry, though. You and Liam don’t have to come…” I trailed off, looking away as Niall stalked closer to us.
“Why wouldn’t you want us to come?” He asked, curiosity replacing the anger. He looked over at our oldest band mate who met his gaze with a level expression.
“Just trust us, Niall, okay?” Louis said to him, looking at Liam briefly before looking back at the blonde. Niall was about to protest when Danielle huffed in impatience.
“Look, Niall, you and Liam are going to stay here and that’s final.” She said, using her authorative voice. It seemed to work considering the frustrated clamp of Niall shutting his mouth. He narrowed his eyes at the floorboard but remained silent. I blew out in relief and Danielle tossed her head towards the door.
“Lets get going, shall we?” She said, heading towards it. Zayn followed after her as they both exited the house. Niall was still glaring at the ground when Louis spoke.
“We’ll be back in an hour, alright?” He told him before going and walking out the door as well. It was silent again and I tugged at the collar of my shirt as I watched the two boys. Liam didn’t meet my gaze when I looked at him. He cautiously went up next to Niall to place his hand on his boyfriend’s shoulder.
Niall relaxed under his touch and looked at him. They both shared a look, one that seemed too intimate for anyone else to look at. I cleared my throat awkwardly as I spoke.
“Erm…we’ll be back soon. Like Louis said…” I murmured before shooting them once last glance and heading towards the door. Though I doubted they even heard me because of how deep they were locked into each other’s eyes and how a dazed smile lit itself onto Niall’s face when Liam leaned forward to press their lips together.
As I shut the front door and headed towards the car where the other three waited, I couldn’t help the smile that settled onto my own face. Even though it was a bit sickening for most people to see their best friends being all sickly-sweet with each other, to me it was a wonderful thing. I was happy that they were being like that. They were being who they were: Niall and Liam.
Simply Niam.
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Thanks for reading guys :) I'll try and make up my mind in the next chapter about what I'm going to do with the whole updating but right now I really need to eat and study (and of course sleep :P)
Vote and comment? :D Pwease? haha
♥♥♥Lots of love♥♥♥
November 18, 2012