"No it just , something caught up and I can't go back,so I have to stay here"
"There's no such thing as work on Christmas! Just what are you thinking? Trying to act like an adult? Celebrating alone? "
"No! No,what I mean is, I can't leave this matter unattended,it will be a waste-"
"What matter woman? What is more important than family? You had always been like this. You like to hang out more with your friends than your family. Do you think they will take care of you if you fell sick? Do you think there will be always there for you? Think about that Taehee! "
"I can't go home like this mother, it just hard to explain".
"Of course its hard! You had always claim you were better there, which I knew it was just an excuse for you to not come back home often and stupidly rejected the offer at Busan because you think you were smart enough to live by your own! Don't forget you owe me money from your college fee and such. Youngsters like you are only know to have fun,and later regret like a stupid person."
Her breath was unstable, trying so hard not to let her tear fell, hands trembling at her words ,how harsh she had stated those facts like she had done a stupid decision on studying here. She took a deep breath,making sure her words were not cracking and answered.
"I can't mother, and besides the train had closed early and bus-"
"Nonsense! If you hated going back home so much don't ever think about coming back!"
"The tickets were sold out,and they said they were doing some construction from Seoul to Pocheon so-"
"Well I don't care! You were just creating some excuse again! Don't even think about asking me money when you are there alone!"
"I-"
Before she could speak,the phone call hang up and she looked at it with despair. She slowly pulled her knees to her chest,looking to the raining snow outside and somehow she hated how the scenery outside was more better than her life. She rested her forehead to her knee and let out a small sob, hating how her mother words seems so right when she herself knew it was wrong.
She admitted she was giving excuse of not going back,but what she said about the trains and buses were real. She had planned on going back by a taxi but it was pricey so she had second thoughts on going home. She was too caught up with her part time job and assignments,and during her free time she only rested, not caring for the upcoming festival. She knew it was her fault to not book a ticket earlier, but she was just too busy and tired with her works.
Not like she care,she hated it. The family gathering which only bring her more scar than healing time itself. Her mother rough voice, harsh words and the hypocrisy she had to show was making her tired. She tried to enjoy those gathering,but it seems so hard when everytime her mother pointed out her mistake,she felt horrible and it hurt her emotion so much she ended up bottling up her feelings. Yerim was the only one who know much about her story,and all her bestfriend could do was to comfort her.
Her mind then travel to some flashback of her mother scowl and her father silence after witnessing everything. Then,she imagined how different things was for her if her dead mother was still alive,she won't be this depressed at her own family, she would have enjoyed Christmas like any other family and won't be having mother issue like she has now.
"Then,you won't met me," a voice startled her and she looked up to the the source,smiling softly at her before having a seat beside her on the cold floor. He throw a blanket from her room to her shoulder and himself before pulling her more closer to him. Taehee had brushed away her tears , not wanting him to see her weak self from the fight she had with her mother.
"Warm enough?,"he whispered and she nodded, eyes on her hands because she was sure her eyes were puffy right now. Before she knew it,he had interwined their fingers together ,the warmness in his hand was making her somehow calm and the calamity she had in her heart before slowly drifted away,but the dread was still there.
"I won't ask what happened,I know everything already. But there is something I had like to know from you," he asked,and she could sensed his uneasiness in his voice. She looked up to him,asking him to continue.
"How did your mother died?"
The words hit her,but then she let a weak smile before showing her nose and the man raised his eyebrow.
"Nose cancer. She had a bad sinusitis , which I inherit too,but somehow it turns out to be cancer. The doctors thought she was getting better when she was just two months on her labour day for my sister,but it turns out it was already too late. It attacked all of her important organs,and all she can do was just to wait for her time. She was strong I can say. She had to battled with the cancer,on the same time she was having the pains a pregnancy woman could have"
"I remember how she will cried at the church,but I was too young to understand. Turns out she was afraid,of leaving her family alone, and my sister for not having a mother by her side. After the labour day,she fight it for another month before leaving us forever. I was just too young, too naive to understood what was happening,but one thing I was sure that day she was burried,she won't come back to us again. Then after several months,my father met my stepmother and at first I was happy seeing how nice she was"
At this time,the tears she had brushed away had come again and he slowly pulled her head to his shoulder.
"She was nice,guess it took time for her to show the real her at us. Seasons changed,so does human. The beating and scowled, the raged and hatred along with dissapointment was enough to make me regret, thinking I have find the perfect replacement for my mother. Turns out,you can never replace your own mother with someone else,and I learn it too early. I was just an elementary student,but the rough voice she call me and the beating was enough to make me hated her back then. I- I was just a kid,how-how big was my fault for her-"
She couldn't continued,the memories came rushed in , how she had gotten slapped at such a young age,how she was repeatedly called stupid for not being good in school, how she could only stay silent despite how painful it was. She hated to cried like this, admitting how fragile her heart was actually when all she had acted strong infront of everyone just to create a facade for her to show to her friends. She is tired,but she couldn't ran away,let alone kill herself though she had does imagination before.
Yoongi had turn his body, facing her before hugging her tightly while her cried had gotten worse,her body was trembling and she started to hiccup due to her sobs. His heart clenched at the sight, this was his first time seeing her like this. Even when she was sad before,she had done a good job on holding back her tears,but today she couldn't. She had hold everything back , and she was about to let all out at once. He had felt guilty on asking those,but on the same time he was grateful for her to share her story to him.
The muffled cries soon subside and her breathing had slowly went back to normal,but she was still sobbing at his chest. He then held her chin with his thumb and caresses her cheeks, wiping away the tears stain and let out a soft smile.
"Can I say something?"
She nodded and he smiled.
"Your mother would be so proud at you, how beautifully you had grown even without her, and how strong you were even after what happened to you. You had her in your soul,Taehee. She never left you , she had a daughter who she had spend several years being a mother for a short time, and I can assure you that was the most beautiful moment in her life"
"With what you went through,it proved how matured you are to not ran away from your family, and I respect you for that. But Taehee, your mother won't like it if you happened to be this sad eversince she left you with another mother figure. She want you to live happily to your heart content ,smiling because you had the most beautiful smile I ever saw , enjoying your day because you will never know when everything will end Taehee. "
"Your mother know better about time,and I'm sure you know what I'm saying,so smile for me please?,"he said ,almost like pleading and she couldn't help but to lift the corner of her lips, showing her perfect set of teeth which later she let out a quite hoarse laugh due to her itchy throat which the man did the same. She again rested her head to his chest,and she could feel his palm rubbing her back ,before planting some kisses on her hair ,a habit he will do to confort her.
"Yoongi"
"Hmm?"
"You are amazingly warm with that cold face of yours."
He smiled before snuggled his face to her shoulder, transferring their heat to each other . He knew he couldn't possibly solve her problem,but he had vowed to himself to be there for her, and he was surprised by himself at how his words had ease her.
"It's exclusive. Only for you."