Clark's Point of View
Clark Reese Ellington was a lot of things.
A stellar student, a skilled lacrosse player, a loyal friend, and a liar.
A stellar student because he always managed to turn in his class work on time, balance his studies with two varsity sports throughout the year, and ace every exam given to him. He consistently impressed his professors with an A on every single one of his report cards. School didn't come natural to him, but by persistently trying he managed to succeed.
A skilled lacrosse player because he had been playing the sport ever since he could hold a lacrosse stick. His father had enrolled him in classes when he was young, and unlike all the other sports he was forced into such as tennis and rugby- he loved lacrosse. He loved that when he played lacrosse he was known for his skill- the skill he worked so hard on for years on his own. He loved that he wasn't solely known for his last name on the field, he was just Clark the Lacrosse Player.
A loyal friend because no matter what he and his best friends went through, he would always stick by their sides. In their freshman year when Dakota was dealing with the side effects to his new ADD medicine and was lashing out, Clark didn't let Dakota's irritability and harsh words affect him and instead stayed by his side. Every June when Nico's mother's death anniversary arrived, Clark made sure to keep the boy company for the entire week and comfort him. And Luca, when Clark realized that Luca had fallen for Blake, he didn't let jealousy or anger overcome him. Clark knew about Luca's feelings without Luca even admitting to it, but he refused to let their one of a kind friendship be ruined. He loved his friends and he couldn't bear to lose them. They were his brothers.
And a liar because he was lying to his girlfriend.
I didn't really know how to feel when I stepped off of the plane at John F. Kennedy International Airport.
I felt like a mix of emotions as I was finally able to stretch my legs, sore from the treacherous eight hour plane ride. I've never really been a huge fan of traveling, especially overseas- which is pretty ironic since that's something I do very frequently.
I didn't really know how to feel when I checked into the hotel, the hotel where everyone is staying at, the same one where... I'm confused.
I didn't really know how to feel when I caught a quick glimpse of a tabloid, displaying one certain heiress hugging one certain ex-boyfriend outside a coffee shop located in the East Village. I'm not jealous.
I didn't really know how to feel when I walked into the venue for the Dior show, the cocktail of feelings brewing inside of me as I searched for my friends. I stuffed my hands into the pocket of my long tan coat, trying to spot Nico. Though as soon as I found him, my radar began to go off due to a familiar blue eyed blonde sitting in one of the seats, looking a little nervous. But as the show began, I noticed that he had disappeared, so did Kota, so did Luca, so did Sarah, and so did Nico. Letting curiosity get the best of me, I followed after them, ducking down slightly so I wouldn't obstruct the view with my height.
And I certainly didn't know how to feel when I saw Blake Graham sitting in the corner of the backstage with her arms wrapped around herself hyperventilating. It was as if something inside of me was stirred awake, watching her struggle to breathe and focus.
As soon as Luca had noticed me, he easily traded spots, going to stand as I crouched in front of Blake. The rest was almost a blur, when I had finally managed to calm her down- she had hugged me and I felt everything melt away. All I could feel was the love I felt for her and the guilt clawing from my insides. I wanted to say something so she could know my feelings about our fight. But before I could even say anything, a team of stylists had surrounded her.
The group of us returned back to our seats, continuing on with the show. It was odd, sitting next to the blonde boy I was once teammates with. I haven't talked to him since the seventh grade and a lot had changed, but one thing of his had stayed constant through the years. He was still tremendously kind, I could easily tell from his conversation with Sarah who had been trying her best to intimidate him and how he was actually watching the show with interest. I wanted to say something, I just didn't know what.
"Hey," I began, unsure of how to talk to my girlfriend's ex.
"Hey Clark, sorry I didn't get the chance to say hi earlier. I wanted to, it's just that Dakota had called me over to see if I could help. I hope I didn't intrude or anything?"
He's so fucking polite. No wonder she was in love with him, he's perfect for her. He's the opposite of... me. He's warm and open while I'm usually cold and reserved. His hair's golden while mine's dark. He's kind whilst I'm sarcastic. He's defense and I'm offense. He's American and I'm English. It's like light versus dark, and I feel inferior sitting next to Parker. He had so much with Blake while I've just had years of hatred and just a few months without any arguments.
But what about the argument from earlier? The fight? After having these days to mull over everything, I've finally come to a final thought- but I need to actually get to talk to Blake. But she's about to walk.
I pulled myself out of my thoughts, meeting Parker's dark blue eyes. "You're good, I just wanted to say... thank you. For being there for her back then and today- and for being such a good person."
He seemed slightly taken aback by my words. "Oh wow, thank you! Of course! Lise will always be my friend no matter what!"
Lise.
The nickname that only he called her. I shouldn't be feeling jealous, but I did. I wasn't envious of their relationship, I was envious that the two of them were in a good place while we weren't.
It's both our faults. Mainly yours, liar. Her decision to graduate is nothing compared to you.
As the show continued on, I found myself getting distracted with my own thoughts instead of focusing. I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket, so I quickly withdrew it and glanced at the text before hurriedly typing a response to them. I turned around in my seat and tried to spot who texted me, after briefly meeting their eyes, I turned back in my seat with a small grin.
When Blake finally emerged on the runway, I felt as if I couldn't breathe. I was completely entranced. The audience was mesmerized as well, due to the hushed whispers that sounded from some people and the fast shutters from the photographers. It was something to do with her dress, but I wasn't exactly sure as to what.
I looked to Sarah, and coincidentally Luca, Nico, and Kota were all staring cluelessly at her as well. It was a silent 'what's the big deal about her dress?'.
"Her mother wore it for this show in the eighties. Apparently it was a hit, changed her mom's entire career." Sarah whispered, gesturing towards Blake's black dress.
After the show had ended, everyone was mingling as champagne was being served. But I managed to excuse myself from everyone so I could go and find the person whose familiar eyes I had briefly met earlier.
With some quick greetings, introductions, and some brief small talk, I led my guests towards the backstage area. Flashing my pass to the guard, I muttered a quick, "They're with me." before meeting with one of the assistants who handed me what I had instructed them to give me earlier.
I found Blake pretty easily. She was sitting in a makeup chair staring at the mirror in deep thought. She had changed out of her runway dress and was now in a long-sleeved short white dress. I slowly approached her, sans guests, with my hands behind my back.
"Hey," I greeted her quietly, not really knowing how to act around her.
She turned around in her seat with wide eyes. "Hi."
"I-" I began, but stopped myself. "You were amazing."
"Oh," she seemed briefly caught off guard. "Thank you, I- I'm really glad you could come."
"I would never miss it for the world." I shook my head at her, a small smile tugging at my lips. "I actually have something for you." I revealed to her the bouquet of light pink roses that were hiding behind my back.
I felt lighter as soon as I saw her happy grin. Just seeing her smile could make me feel infinite.
I handed her the bouquet, and she surprised me by standing up and giving me a kiss on the cheek.
Just like the day of the ball back in October, I blushed from her display of affection. She's the only person who can actually affect me.
"I actually have another...thing for you. Or surprise I guess."
"Oh?" She asked timidly, a matching blush on her face as well. Why did this have to happen to us? I want us to be back to normal. To be comfortable together again. To be able to joke. To be able to watch our weekly movies together. To be able to mess around and call each other names, not meaning them but saying them nonetheless for laughs.
"Yeah I know we aren't... yeah, but I just wanted you to have a memorable show so..." I gestured to my guests that were standing behind the wall to come out.
As soon as Blake's eyes met the group of three, a hand flew to her mouth in shock.
"Margot?"
Margot Graham just let out a happy laugh, her mirror light blue eyes twinkling in mischief. "Hey, baby sister."
"Oh my god, Margot!" Blake cried in joy, sprinting over to tackle her older sister with a hug.
Margot laughed loudly, eagerly returning Blake's hug. As soon as they separated, she held her sister by her shoulders and quietly whispered some words in French. I could only make out the words 'I'm so happy for you and so is mama, you've done amazing stupide."
I held in a laugh at the term of endearment that Margot had always used with her sister. I silently watched as Margot waved over the tall man with curly black hair and an easy smile.
"Sam!" Blake exclaimed, giving the twenty-three year old a tight hug.
"What's up, Blaine?"
"Nothing much, Sean. The usual."
"Ah yes, runway shows are the usual for me as well. By the way, you've done really well, little Blaine. Right when you walked up I felt so proud, like a father and his son!"
"He's not telling the entire truth." Margot interrupted with an elbow to her boyfriend's stomach. "He was crying when he saw you, and then started violently sobbing when he realized you were wearing mom's dress!"
"Mar!" Sam whined, running his hands through is unruly hair in embarrassment.
"Don't worry Sean, I cried also. We can be crying buddies." Blake extended her fist out to bump it with Sam.
Before the conversation could continue, the imposing figure and third member of the unlikely trio cleared his throat.
"Dad?" Blake's eyes had widened, watching her father approach our group.
Harrison Graham was a very very formidable man. He exuded power, his height and icy eyes were intimidating enough to make even a professional fighter run away in fear. His aura combined with the power he held from being one of the richest men in the world- he was ten times scarier than my father. Maybe he was scarier now that I was dating his daughter.
"Blakely." Her father casually greeted, his lips set in a line.
Was convincing her father a good idea? Probably not. If this didn't go well, I would be in even more trouble with Blake. But I wanted Blake to have her family to support her- she didn't deserve to have no family on such a special day.
I had come up with this plan over two months ago, contacting Margot first. Margot excitedly confirmed the plan, adding that she would bring Sam since Blake was so fond of him. I then had to get through to their father, and convince him to come. It was actually pretty easy, which was surprising because Blake made it seem like Graham Senior wasn't very fond of anything that wasn't work. With the help of Sam, we managed to convince Margot to still come even though her father- whom she wasn't on the bestest of terms with- was coming. Which leads us to right now.
"I wanted to tell you good job. I saw the entire show and you did very well. For a second I could see your mother, you seemed so similar. I'm sure she would be ecstatic and proud. So am I... proud of you, that is."
Blake's eyes shined as she listened to her father. Like my father, Mr. Graham wasn't the most touchy feely person, so he just gave Blake a firm nod and a quick pat on her shoulder. But you could tell that to Blake, it was equivalent to a bear hug.
She always said that she wasn't her father's biggest fan, but I knew that was a lie. She was just disappointed and hurt that the only parent she had left, had turned away after her mother's death. She felt like she lost both parents- so she decided to try and tell everyone and herself that she was angry at him.
But all Blake Graham wanted was her father's approval. That was why she chose Cambridge instead of all the other schools. Because Cambridge was number one and she knew that her father liked all things elite. That's why she agreed to go to the ball, which was something she could've refused to. That's why she actually put aside her dislike and asked me to be her escort, something she could've easily avoided.
Blake just wanted her father's acceptance, she wanted the exact same thing as me. And we both did the same things to try and gain it. No matter the consequences.
Staring at the dark wood door in front of me, I tried to get my thoughts in order.
Just knock on the door, you idiot.
I raised my fist to knock, but stopped myself. This was the fourth time I've done this. I've been standing outside of Blake's hotel suite for the past seven minutes like a bloody stalker.
Letting out an irritated breath, I looked up and stared at the ceiling. Come on, you're Clark Ellington. You don't get nervous to talk to girls y- but she's not just some girl, she's the girl you're in love with.
I shook my head to clear my thoughts, trying to once again knock. But this time before my fist could make contact with the mocha wood, it met air.
Blake stared back at me in surprise, holding her empty ice bucket to her chest. She looked completely different than she had at the show's after party. Her white dress had been exchanged for a giant grey tee, her pin straight hair haphazardly tied atop her head, and her dangerously tall heels replaced with some blue fuzzy socks.
Even in her large shirt and rubber duck patterned fleece pajamas- she still managed to take my breath away. I could practically hear Nico laughing at me about being 'whipped'.
Of course I'm whipped, it's Blake Graham.
I opened my mouth but quickly shut it, trying to find the right words.
"Uh, hey." I said lamely.
Blake seemed a little dazed, she quickly shook her head and gave me a hesitant smile. "Hi."
"Sorry about just randomly showing up, I hope it's alright. I mean I can leave if you're planning on going somewhere- I know how busy you are this week." But what if she's pissed at you? For ignoring her and not even wishing her good luck? Of course she's angry, you ignorant twat.
"Oh you're good, I was just gonna go and get some ice." She held up the ice bucket. "I can just ask someone to get it. Do you wanna come inside?"
Nodding, she made room for me to enter through the door. As I walked into her suite, I noticed that the sitting area was a mess. Clothing racks, extension cords, piles of shoes, and empty Reese's packets were scattered on the floor while flowers and gift bags filled the countertop. After noticing my staring at the disorderly room, Blake blushed and look down to her socks.
"Sorry about the mess... it's been a little hectic. Just watch out for any renegade stilettos, I almost snapped my neck this morning." She laughed, kicking the scattered shoes into a pile against the wall.
"I'll take note of that." I slightly smiled, glancing at the counter. Out of all the many bouquets of flowers that had been gifted, only one bouquet was in a vase. Some very familiar pink roses.
"Would you like anything to drink? It might be nine at night but coffee is allowed at this time since it's the city that never sleeps. Oh wait you're British, so would you like a spot of tea?" Blake imitated my accent with a laugh while bending down to pick up the candy wrappers.
I smiled to myself, and shook my head. "I'm good. I actually wanted to talk to you- that's why I'm here."
"Yeah, what's up? Wait one second can I get my ice from the door real quick? I got room service to bring it up." She quickly pointed to the door before scurrying to grab her bucket. She returned and plopped down onto the couch, watching me as I stood.
Blake sat criss-crossed and held onto her bucket of ice. She dug her hand into the bucket and popped an ice cub into her mouth, pausing. "So whathhup? Thorry." She made a face before moving the cube to the inside of her cheek. "What's up?"
"I..." I paused, taking a breath. She didn't seem angry, she seemed the same. Goofy and anything but graceful. "I'm sorry. About everything. About getting angry at you, about not hearing you out, about leaving you in the hallway, about not saying bye to you or good luck before you left, about not texting or calling, and about springing up this surprise trip and visit. I've fucked up a lot lately and I'm really sorry and I know I've been hard to deal with and I-"
"You're saying sorry?" Blake gaped at me with widened eyes. "I'm the one who didn't tell you! I was the one keeping a secret! Which I shouldn't have because we're not supposed to keep secrets from each other!"
I winced at her proclamation. My subconscious sang the words 'liar liar pants on fire' as I tried to organize my thoughts. "I'm the one who blew up without even trying to hear you out properly."
Blake popped another ice cube into her mouth, pausing briefly. Why does she keep eating ice is somethi- the anemia. I need to make a note and ask her if she's been taking her iron sup- shut up, Clark. "But I'm the one who lied to you."
"I'm the one who didn't talk to you."
"So what? It's fine! Come on, we're bound to have fights, Clark. That's what a relationship is, we just have to be able to listen and understand each other. Which is why if you don't want me to leave... I won't."
It was my turn to gape at her. "You're saying that if I don't want you to graduate early... you won't?" I stated incredulously.
She didn't say anything, she just nodded.
"Graham... no! I know this is something you've really wanted and I'm not letting you sacrifice something that you want! You've put so much work into this- you've already applied to the colleges and changed classes! It's absurd for me to even think about asking you to put your dreams on hold for some arse like me! After seeing you tonight I've realized that this early graduation will give you the chance for everything you've wanted, and I can't stop you. I won't. Because I-"
I was interrupted before I could even finish. Blake had gotten up from her seat and threw her arms around my neck and hugged me close to her. She held me so close that I was sure she could hear my rapid heartbeat. I automatically returned her hug, pulling her in tightly and blissfully noticing how well we fit together. Like puzzle pieces. She felt familiar, like home.
Graham loosened her arms from around my neck and held me away slightly so she could meet my eyes. Those light blue eyes were something I could drown in and I wouldn't ever protest. I could stare at them forever if I could.
She gave me the smallest of smiles, her eyes shining in happiness. "Ellington, I love you."
I felt my heart explode, hundreds of thousands of butterflies caused a rampage inside of me whilst my lungs struggled to inhale oxygen.
In my sophomore year biology class we had learnt that the blood vessels of the human body are so long that they can wrap around the surface of the earth approximately four times. There are so many of these vessels pumping blood and supplying the necessary life to the body- there are hundreds of thousands of them. And I'm saying this because I could feel the blood in my veins slowly be replaced with the love I felt for her. I could feel the love run through every single one of them. Because she did that to me. She always does this to me. And I wouldn't want it any other way.
Pulling her closer, I grinned at her. I could feel my cheeks hurt from the smile- but I didn't care. All I cared about was the girl standing in front of me.
The girl whom I loved with every single beat of my heart.
The girl who made me laugh like no other when she would tell me her stupid chemistry puns.
The girl who could make me feel better with just her smile.
The girl who could kill me with her words and ruin me with her kisses.
I shook my head at her and laughed softly. "I love you too, Graham." I murmured, before closing the gap and softly meeting her lips with mine.
Electricity coursed through me, filling me with static and shocks. I was ecstatic, because we were okay.
But in the back of my head something still persistently nagged at me. Because as much as I loved her, there was still the lie.
The lie that our relationship was for a business deal.