Her POV
I walk into his studio armed with snacks.
"What is this?!" He asks with an amused smile
"Well I thought we could watch a movie or something. Or just eat snacks cause why the hell not?"
"You just wanted an excuse to buy so many snacks didn't you" he says, raising an eyebrow
"No!..... Maybe~. Hey! At least I'm sharing! You can't complain!"
He laughs as he raises his hands in surrender
"Why aren't you back at the dorms? You're leaving tomorrow aren't you?"
"Ahh but staying in the studio motivates me to work for at least a while" he says as he looks down
I nod my head in understanding.
Inspiration could hit you anytime, and being near your tools was always a plus.
That's why I always carried my art supplies around.
He looks at his set up for a while before standing up and giving me a hand
"Do you want to get out of here?"
I take his hand and we put on our coats, heading out to a nearby secluded park that we had come to love.
We stand amongst the trees and I take a deep breath of the crisp January air on a cloudy day.
"Ayanna..."
I look at him and I see he's staring into the distance, a sad look on his face. I take his hand in mine as reassurance and look at him with a smile.
"I-" he starts and I see a tear roll down his cheek
I try to keep the worry off of my face as I stick closer to him and his breath hitches as he looks up, trying to hold back.
"Let go~" I whisper
And he does... Bending down so that his head is on my shoulder, burying his face in my scarf, sobs wracking his body.
"I- I'm a mess-" he says between sobs
"Come Joonie... We have a lot to talk about~" I say as I gently separate him from me and we make our way to my apartment.
......
We settle down on my bed, his head on my lap as he looks at the walls with a sadness I want to understand
"What- what happened Joonie?" I coo while stroking his hair
"I don't know..." He whispers, his voice cracking
"Ahh... It's okay.. it's okay if you don't know.."
We sit there in silence as he lets out a sigh
"I'm sorry I'm like this today.. I just wanted to spend a day with you happily before I left and I'm like this-"
"Hush now... It's okay. I'm here for you through good times and bad. You don't have to be sorry... Never be sorry for feeling what you feel, okay?"
He gives me a tiny nod.
"Sometimes, sometimes I feel like I'm falling apart. I don't know how I hold myself together. I'm terrified... Terrified of the prospect that I'm not good enough and that I never will be. That I don't deserve to be here... That I'm an imposter. And people tell me all the time that I'm not good enough to be a part of BTS. And I know I shouldn't bother with them..but, but- what if it's true?"
I wait a while to make sure he has finished voicing his thoughts
"You know, just as well as I do, that you're more than enough to be a part of BTS, or the music industry for that matter. You're extremely gifted and you've worked on your skills so much that you're on par with the best of them, if you don't believe me when I say, that you are in fact, one of the best out there... And I get it that you don't rest have control over the thoughts you have. That's the thing about these thoughts. They're so annoying and try don't get out of your head. But the important thing is... You shouldn't let your thoughts control you..."
I see snowflakes fall lazily outside the window.
I pull the blankets over us and we become a warm burrito.
"Thank you~" he says as he wipes his face with a tissue
I give him a smile before we snuggle in each other's arms, Joon passing out soon after...
I don't think he slept last night even though he must've been exhausted after the concert.
My phone buzzes and it's Yoongi
(A/N yes.. Yoongi has a picture of Holly as his profile( ◜‿◝ )♡)
I set an alarm for 6:00 in the morning and switch off the lights...
....
I wake up and make him a simple breakfast of eggs, rice and some vegetable pancakes. I place the tray on the side table and wake him up.
He gives me a sleepy smile before waking up and fluffing up his hair, yawning before he looks at me
"Is that for me?" He says as he points to the tray
"Yup yup" I say as I hand him the tray.
He scarfs down the food and I have to tell him to slow down multiple times,which only makes him go faster.
"Nothing good can come of that-" I say as I shake my head disapprovingly.
He just laughs as he hands me back the empty tray.
I wash the dishes as he gets ready for the day and we walk down to the dorms
"Joon.. are you feeling better?"
"Yup! " He says as he gives me a bear hug once we're inside the dorms
"You know you can talk to me anytime right?"
"Uh huh.."
"And you know that you HAVE to call me everyday right?"
He breaks the hug and looks at me with a smile "Of course!"
I walk into the living room and find everyone sorting their bags and luggage and Namjoon leaves me with a kiss to get changed and bring his bags.
"Take lots of pictures Tae! I can't wait to see them! Oh and Kookie, don't go too crazy with the filming okay? And Jiminie and jungkookie again! Don't go too crazy with the performances! Listen to Hobi for god's sake!" I say as I go around the living room saying my goodbyes to them for a while. Jin assures me that he will see to that they all eat well and he winks and tells me he'll bring me snacks, Hobi says he'll bring me a bottle of his favourite wine to which I say NOPE and that makes him laugh, Yoongi chuckling on the armchair.
I was going to miss them...
Probably going to bury myself in my work.
"Ahh Ayanna! Don't miss us too much okay?" Jimin says as he sneaks up behind me and throws his arms around my neck.
"And don't bury yourself in work. I know that's basically what alcohol is to me so don't you dare do that. Go live your life a little" Yoongi says, setting his phone down
"Ha ha! Very funny... I do have a life you know."
He raises an eyebrow skeptically as he take a sip of his coffee
How does this man read minds?
"Ahh that's because you're a lot like him" Taehyung says with a wink
Not him too!
Is my face that easy to read
"Yes. Your face is pretty easy to read most of the time" Hobi says as he seats himself on another chair
"Okay this is getting creepy now. Stop reading my mind-"
They laugh at my confusion and bewilderment.
......
I give Namjoon one last kiss and frantically wave after the cars as they round the corner and disappear into the distance
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-M