You were here far earlier than the time initially agreed upon. There were two reasons for this: one, you absolutely did not want to be late. Not only would set a horrible precedent, but it would surely inconvenience Maruki himself. Second, you wanted to have time to eat at Big Bang before he arrived. It was a fool-proof plan, really: he's eaten already? No problem! You already had a serving of fries before he came. He wants to order something before beginning? Also not a problem! You purposefully ordered something small in case he wanted to discuss over food.
As you dipped some of the hot fries into the paper cup filled with ketchup, you received a text from Maruki saying the office just closed and he was on his way. It's about a fifteen-minute train ride from Shujin to Central Street, so you had plenty of time. Still, though, you didn't want to leave any evidence; it felt silly to worry about such superficial things, especially considering Maruki's someone who wouldn't judge you at all, but you couldn't help it. First impressions are everything and the last thing you wanted was to mess anything up with Maruki. The last of the fries were warm and soggier as fast food tends to become. There was always something satisfying and belly-filling, however, about the salty, greasy food that comes from these places, despite being horrible for your health. Everything in moderation doesn't hurt, though...salty, greasy food is goddamn delicious.
After destroying the evidence—throwing away the tray and checking your teeth, along with quickly chewing on a stick of gum—you were ready to meet Maruki. And, like clockwork, he walked through the doors. You watched the woman working the register greet him while your own excitement began rolling in; at the same time, you felt horribly nervous. It's not a date! It's not a date goddammit! You feared messing up or saying something that wouldn't be useful to him, and just like that, your extra meetings would be over in an instant.
"Hey there!" Maruki greeted you in his usual soft tone, "I hope I didn't keep you waiting for too long, (Y/N)." He said your name, and you loved the way he said it.
"N-no, not at all!" you gave a slight courteous bow. "I just got here too, actually." What a bold-face lie—you'd been here for at least forty-five minutes, but Maruki never had to know that.
"Before we begin, I think I'll order a drink...would you like anything?" he reached into his pocket, pulling out the small brown wallet you'd seen so many times.
You couldn't ask him to pay for you, even if it was only for a drink. "I have my water bottle, actually." you pulled it out from the kangaroo pouch off the side of your backpack to show him, subsequently placing it on the table in front of you. "I have classes after this, so..." a soda did sound good right about now, but you didn't want to burden Maruki like that.
"No problem! I'll be right back then. We can begin then, if that's alright with you." After setting his things down, he took off to the front counter once more.
Maruki was a special kind of man. He had a certain knack for making those around him instantly comfortable, regardless of topic of conversation. You nearly forgot how nervous you were just a moment ago, but your mouth still felt dry. The water you kept was lukewarm and, consequently, rather flat, but you could manage until you arrived at school. Maruki soon returned, a medium-sized beverage in hand, and earnestly took a seat. It was evident how passionate he was about this project from looking at his body language alone. When he was all settled in his seat, he moved his hair out of his face and pulled a notepad out of his own bag. The pen he took out was neatly tucked into the pocket of his lab coat. His clothing seemed out of season, given it was early June and he was wearing a button-up, khakis, and that coat; nothing could be done about looking professional at work, in any event.
"I hope you don't mind me taking notes." Maruki's eyes shifted, his pen spinning in his hand, albeit clumsily, "If you aren't comfortable with it, I can stop!"
"I don't mind at all. Expecting you to remember the entire scope of our conversation would be asking too much." you spoke with a quiet chuckle. He was being considerate, and that gesture did not go unappreciated.
Maruki breathed what seemed to be a sigh of relief. His eyes softened as he opened his mouth again, "I never quite explained what my research is about. You see, I'm aiming to study how pain is felt in the mind, or, metaphorically speaking, in the heart. Physical pains—those of the body from illness, for example—can be thought of as something necessary. The pain we feel from non-bodily injuries stem from completely intangible things, and there's a lot we don't quite understand about it yet. And I...well, I'd like to learn more about that psychological paradigm."
"So, essentially, you're studying trauma?" you should've suspected it would've been something so simple. Even so, it's an incredibly complex, nuanced subject that still required detailed research. You felt honored to help Maruki out like this.
"Yes, in a sense. And how to treat it more effectively." The doctor clicked his pen a few times. It was a marked habit of his: fidgeting as he thinks. "So, now, I'd like to pose the first question: when do you truly feel this sort of pain?" he spoke in a way that signified his patience.
A loaded question right off the bat, hm? It wasn't unexpected considering the subject matter, but it was something that required a lot of thought for a cohesive, candid response. "Well..." you leaned forward, tapping your fingers along the cool plastic table, "Recently, my mother had been the victim of workplace abuse at the hands of her employer. I was angry and hurt that I couldn't feasibly do anything for her without jeopardizing her job. Thankfully, though, her boss was, um—h-he was fired." you couldn't let the secret about posting on the Phan-Site get out, even if you trusted Maruki.
Maruki quickly jotted down your answer before speaking again. "I see. Yes, I can definitely sympathize with that. It's disheartening to feel powerless in a situation where your loved one is in danger. I'm glad she's doing better, though!"
You nodded in reply, your lips curved into a slight smile.
"It's rough. Struggling with pain in your heart is something one can only go on with for so long." Again, he clicked his pen. "How about pain of a broken heart, then? Have you given any thought on the matter? As a counselor, I can speak from experience: much of what plagues a young person's mind—aside from the stress of exams and extracurriculars—are relationship troubles."
Love, and a broken heart. It's a cycle, in your mind. One cannot exist without the other, but it's a struggle every person experiences in some form or another. "I've had my heart broken, as many people have. I kinda regretted how things ended with my boyfriend in high school, but it's honestly nothing too severe compared to what other people have felt." Maruki's eyes were unwavering; that should've been intimidating, but it wasn't. It was a signal to you that he was listening with his whole heart so you would be encouraged to keep going. "But, if you ask me, it's a necessary part of life. We get our hearts broken as kids and grow from those experiences. In terms of love, a broken heart teaches you what to look for in a relationship and to know when the relationship itself is heading downhill. More importantly, if you have a good support system, it can teach you healthy coping mechanism given pain is a natural part of life..."
Maruki laughed, but not in a condescending way. "That's very poetic of you, but also very insightful." He started, setting his pen down altogether. Did you already mess up and give too much of a cookie-cutter answer? "That's a very positive approach. It's admirable." His eye contact with you broke, warm brown eyes averted to the window, and at the people of Shibuya walking behind you. "Personally speaking, if pain can be avoided, it should be. And perhaps it would be best to eliminate it entirely."
That was quite blunt of him. A world without pain, huh...what would that spell for the ultimate fate of humanity? "We, of course, shouldn't go seeking pain. I think what I was trying to say was experiencing that kind of trauma helps you to avoid it in the future."
"...Mn." Maruki hummed, picking up his pen to scribble a few more notes down. You were quiet as he did so. He looked at you again when he was finished. "Because psychological pain is something intangible, it's complex. You can see a bruise with your eyes, a broken bone with an X-ray...but we can't scan the mind for pain; that makes it much harder to detect and treat in the long run. With my research, I could save people who keep clinging to their pain, even ones they don't know exist within their minds, or ones that they push deep within their psyches. Your perspective reminded me of my purpose, so thank you very much." You couldn't help but notice a certain sorrowful tone hidden within his calm voice—it was as though something lurked deep beneath the surface of this man's thoughts, but you couldn't place your finger on it. It was just something you felt: a nagging suspicion.
That's all it took, evidently. "Did that help?" Honestly, you felt like you were rambling, but if Maruki said it was helpful, you looked forward to more sessions.
"Absolutely!" his smile was as radiant as ever. "Having two subjects—er, participants—really helps me articulate and organize thoughts in a way I couldn't before. I'm grateful." Hearing him say those words to you was all the thanks you needed. You wanted so badly to engrain it within your memory—you were helpful to this kind man doing something great for the world. When you're stressed, overwhelmed, whatever sort of painful emotion, you'd be sure to reminisce on this instance. "Alright, I think that's all for today—"
"Hey, um," you started, "Can we talk about something else that's been on my mind?" you were anxious about asking: you didn't want to overstep your boundaries or take up too much of his time.
Maruki was in the middle of packing up as you asked. His eyes softened before he replied, peeking down at his lap, where you assumed he was checking his phone. "It looks like we still have some time. I'd love to lend an ear." His posture relaxed, and a wave of relief washed over me.
"I'm curious as to what your thoughts are on the Phantom Thieves. They are part of the reason you're working at Shujin now, after all..." your voice shook somewhat since this topic was sensitive to you. And, honestly, you really wanted Maruki to believe in and root for them as you did.
When you gazed at the man again, he appeared deep in thought. Again, he was doing something with his hands: this time, he was flipping through the pages of his notepad, that sound filling the silence. "The Phantom Thieves, huh..." he began, "I'd say our goals aren't too far apart—our methods are where we stand apart, although I don't really understand how they do it."
It was a relatively vague answer, but he didn't seem too bothered by the group when you posed the question. "I think I support them." you said bluntly, though you still maintained your sense of caution. "Um, someone close to me—they helped them out."
"Is that so," Maruki's quiet voice drifted, but you could see something of a plan stirring in his contemplative eyes. Whatever it was, you weren't going to press any further. "I suppose I support them as well. Maybe one day we'll even join forces to help people out of their suffering, haha..."
That reply satisfied you this time around, "You'd be able to reach a lot of people through them. I really, really do wish you good luck on your research," it was probably time to go now, unfortunately. You felt like somewhat of a fool for being so worried earlier as well; you should've expected Maruki to be an easy soul to converse with. You already looked forward to your next session, as you would make it known, "I'm so glad I could help you out today, though. I'll see you same time next Monday, then?"
"That sounds great with me, and—Amamiya, is that you? Haha, it truly is a small world!" Maruki's attention was pulled from me and was instead directed at the Shujin student who just took a seat next to our table.
You'd seen this kid at the store before and he had money to burn. Or at least, he spent way too much of his money on bulk-buying from your store. There was something of an intimidating air about him, despite him being a second year. His frizzy raven-black hair, his bright eyes, his overall collected composure...this kid had his act together at a very young age. More importantly, Maruki knew him in a way beyond just being his counselor—so you very quickly deduced this was the student he was talking about from the park.
"Doctor Maruki?" his voice—Amamiya's—was rather deep for a teenager. His gaze shifted, his eyes almost analyzing you. "And Doctor Maruki's friend, hello." He was a man of few words, but he held tremendous charisma behind his speech—public speech classes, maybe? You kept hearing muffled meowing around Amamiya as well.
You let Maruki speak for you. "Oh, yes, I haven't told you about my friend." You enjoyed hearing him call you that, "They're helping me with my research, too. (Y/N), this is Ren Amamiya." you were right, then.
In response, you bowed my head. "But this was the first time we had a session." you informed him.
"Anyhow," Maruki's things were all put away now, "Are you waiting for a friend, Amamiya? We were actually wrapping up just now, so you don't have to worry about being embarrassed or anything, haha."
"No, I—"
Holy shit, what was that? The Big Bang employee needed two hands to carry the tray she brought to Amamiya's table. you'd heard of the Big Bang challenge before, but to think it would be this big! There was absolutely no way a scrawny boy like Amamiya could tackle a monstrous burger like that in such a small time frame...but then again, he did buy an obscene amount of food from the store.
"A-Amamiya..." Maruki stuttered—he was just as taken aback as you were. "Do you truly intend to eat all that?" your thoughts exactly.
"This burger is as voluminous as a soaring comet burning in the sky. It will not be overcome easily," the female employee started, the entirety of the restaurant intently watching at this point, "But should you conquer this challenge, you will be rewarded with an extravagant prize. You have thirty minutes—go!" she walked away, seemingly fully convinced this 'challenge' would not be 'conquered.'
"No worries, Doctor." Amamiya's lips curved into a grin, his hand waving away the sentiment. "Watch this," his absurd amount of confidence was demonstrable in the glint in his eyes alone as he gripped the burger. Just the way he held it displayed his skill—none of the condiments were falling out, somehow. It was showtime.
You and Maruki cheered him on as the other spectators did. Amamiya certainly seemed to be enjoying the spotlight as he completely powered through the burger in half the allotted time. Looking across the table at Maruki, his reaction nearly mirrored yours: shock, and guilt that you didn't believe in him. Amamiya rolled his head, his hand on his neck; he was bursting at the seams but smug as ever. Again, you heard a cat's meow.
Both of you were silent as the employee congratulated him for tackling the Comet Burger and presented him with a badge: a pass to proceed to the next tier in the challenge. If the Comet Burger was this big, how big was the second tier? and what of the third tier? You shuddered just thinking about it. Watching him scarf down all that food, though exhilarating, was nauseating. "That was incredible..." you mused, "Is your stomach an abyss or something?"
Amamiya chuckled at my comment, "It might be. I get that a lot." He clutched the badge to his chest for a moment before tucking it into his bag.
While he did that, your phone buzzed; it was a text from your mother, but more pressingly—you were going to be late to class if you didn't leave right now. In the background, you could hear Maruki and Amamiya exchanging in more small talk as you gathered your things; your bag felt lighter than usual, but you were pretty sure you took everything with you. "Maruki, I'm sorry. I have to head out now." you looked to the student politely, "Amamiya, it was nice meeting you!" we exchanged your goodbyes, you thanked Maruki for his time and headed out.
Right as you were about to enter Shibuya station, you realized why your bag felt lighter: your water bottle was missing. You didn't receive a text from Maruki yet, so you assumed he was still inside with Amamiya. You were most assuredly going to be late, but you didn't want to inconvenience Maruki with having to take the water bottle home; you determined it was better to just go back to Big Bang Burger and collect it for yourself. As you resolved this with yourself, you felt a looming presence behind you. Of course, there would be people behind you—this was Shibuya, after all—but this felt different. It was markedly malicious and made your hairs stand up on end; you didn't want to turn around.
But the man spoke up, confirming your suspicions of being followed: "Hey, you," glancing out the side of your eye, he beckoned you to a more secluded corner—and with that, your heart began to pound in your chest. "You wanna make easy money?"
Easy money? You cocked your head in his direction, clammy hands grasping the straps of your backpack tightly. "N-no, thank you, sir."
"C'mon..." he stepped closer to you, to which you took a step back. Damn...he caught you in a less crowded area of the Station Square, and the people that were around were gleefully minding their own business, drowning your plight out of their line of sight. "All you gotta do is drop a package off for us. Not a big deal, right? Don't ya want extra cash?" his tone was sickeningly condescending.
"I have somewhere to be." you snapped quickly back. You had to stand your ground, even if no one around here would come to your aid; your voice, though trembling, was as firm as you could make it. And yet, when you tried to make your way past him, he shortly closed the gap that formed between you.
"What are ya, in high school? Or university?" he was annoyingly persistent as he fully intended on pressing you into 'delivering packages' until you gave in. "Don't ya got things you need to pay off? Ain't ya tired of asking your parents for money?"
Just ignore him. You repeated the words to yourself several times, keeping your head up high as you walked back towards the crowd. At the very least, you could shake him off there.
"Tch. You're stubborn. Why don't you just do it?" the gruff man stood in front of you, blocking you off from Central Street. You were trying your hardest to preserve the no-bullshit, fearless mask you had on—if only your beating heart and sweaty palms cooperated!
"I have my hands full right now." you responded, your stare steady and resolute. You parted your lips to speak again until disheveled chocolate brown hair and the lens-flair of his glasses caught your eye.
"Yeah, right." He once again started toward you, but you stayed still. And, just as expected, Maruki called out your name. He moved to the scene, his white lab coat flowing behind him in the light Shibuya breeze; in the quiet chaos of it all, you caught sight of your water bottle in his hand. Amimaya was following closely behind him, taking cool strides as the man in front of you grew distinctly uncomfortable. "Shit...whatever." He muttered under his breath, head hanging low as he finally left your vicinity—but not before checking your shoulder. It hurt a little.
"You alright?" Maruki asked, and you could feel the kindness practically sewn within his voice. Amamiya, the bold kid he was, made sure the thug was gone, "I'm so glad I was able to catch you. Here," it was the water bottle he handed you.
You were undoubtedly shaken up, but you were fine now that Maruki was here. "Y-yes, I'm alright. Thank you." you prudently took hold of the bottle, tucking it away in your bag's side pouch.
"It was incredible, how you held your own back there. You and Amamiya have a lot in common, it seems." Maruki's chuckle warmed your heart, calmed it down, as he placed a hand on your back, rubbing it to further calm your nerves. "Do you want me to accompany you to your school? You go to Tokyo University, right?"
"Yes." you replied quietly.
"Amamiya has to head home. I can come with you so you feel safer."
You weren't one to deny a proposition like that. He sat on the train next to you all the way to school. You only fell for him harder.