Stepping inside my house I was met by three pairs of eyes. Two of them was looking at me in pure disgust while the third one was blank.
"Ashar?" I called
''My Enemies call me Sayeed,'' and he gave me a smile of such devastating charm that I can only bring myself to blink.
Didn't stopping at what he said and not caring who was present or not I walked towards him and knelt down. My hand clasped in his, my senses zinging from his touch and that stunning smile, I stared into his dark, handsome face until, realising that I was gawking at him like some overgrown schoolgirl, I withdrew my hand and asked quickly
"'What will your wife call you?"
Through my hazel eyes, I saw a strange expression on his face. His eyes have come alive, and I don't like it at all. He's getting off on this now in a way he wasn't before. My first thought is that my honesty is feeding him in a bad, bad way and my second thought is not to question my gut.
"These are going to be very good days," he says venomously to me pushing me back as if my closeness was a poison for him.
"What did you fed him?" I asked turning around to my mother in law.
"So now you're blaming me for your actions?" She asked.
"I didn't blamed, I asked!" I said standing up.
"Instead of asking me you should be running behind him to save your already broken marriage or should I say second marriage?" And that's when I noticed that Ashar was not present now.
Not giving her a second glance, I ran to my room. Quickly rushing up the stairs, I ran to my room and saw him throwing out all my clothes from the closet.
"So, this is it?" I asked him in a small voice.
"You can leave." He said shutting the door of the closet.
"This is my home." I said walking slowly
"Not anymore"
"Where would I go?"
"Not my concern" he sat down on the bed clutching the corners of the bed tightly.
"Will you be able to live without me?" I said kneeling down once again.
"This won't be the first time!"
"What about me? I-I can't live without you or Shezan." I tried to hold his hands but he pulled back.
"Weren't you the one to start all this?" He looked at me.
"And weren't you the one to end all this?" I asked back.
"The second biggest mistake of my life after loving you." He hissed.
That hurted. Really! Inhaling a deep breath, "I know the first time I left Shezan is something that I can never wipe but this time it's you" I said
Before he could reply someone knocked on the door.
"Daddy, I'm going out with Dadi and Dadu" Shezan entered the room but his gaze was fixed solely on Ashar. Looking back at him Ashar nodded.
"Shezan, tomorrow you've school. You won't be able to get up on time tomorrow for school. Go and get ready for bed" I said standing up.
"My Dad has given me permission." He replied back.
"Shezan, your dad might have given you permission but your mom hasn't given" I replied to him.
"From where did Mom came?" He crossed his hands over his chest.
"Shezan..."
"My Mom left me when I was only ten days old. She didn't think twice before leaving me nor she cared about my dad who had gone into depression by then. And you know why she left? She left because my dad couldn't provide her with enough money because at that time my dad was still making his name in the big world so instead of standing beside him and support him she left.
So yes, never ever call yourself a mother because you can never be a mother. A mother never leaves her child when he's only dependent on his mother.
I don't want to see you EVER again.
I HATE YOU." Slamming the door of my room he rushed out of the room.
It wasn't the first time that I've heard those words.
It wasn't the first time that I've been blamed for those things.
It wasn't the first time that my heart didn't clenched once again.
It wasn't the first time that I've been slapped again on my face.
But for sure this was the first time that I've heard those words from My Son and God it hurt!
It hurt...
The force of his words was so strong that it got me falling down on my knees. Clutching the end of the bed, I crouched forward as a massive pain broke down my heart in return making me gasp for breath as I closed my eyes tightly, clenching my teeth to stop myself from making any noise.
"Laiba..." He placed a hand on my shoulder but the weight of his hand overshadowed the pain in my heart making me stumble back as my gaze landed on him. Vision turning darker by the second, my breaths coming out in deep pants.
"She-Shezan. Ashar, why?" Was all I could mustered up.
"It's not me." He whispered and I almost wanted to laugh at his statement but the pain won't let me.
"But you didn't even-" I took a deep shaky breath "Stop" I completed my sentence.
"Laiba, you--" but in a second I was in front of him grabbing the collar of his shirt.
"How could you?" I hissed
"He didn't said anything wrong!" Was his reply and my hands felled down to my sides as I clutched them into fists.
"He's only thirteen Ashar!" I said.
"Mature enough to know what happened back then" he shrugged
"Of Course, Of Course!" I said stumbling back but within a second I turned my back to him as I placed my hand on the left side of my chest as the pain kept on increasing.
"Oh please stop with it...You were enjoying yourself with that man. You even got yourself pregnant. Allah only knows how many more times have you gotten pregnant and more importantly with whom, whom!!" His tone held accusation as I turned to look at him.
Did he really think that about me?
Would it why Shezan said those things?
Is that how low our relationship was?
"Give me few more minutes and then I'll leave." I said as I looked around for my cell phone. Searching like a mad woman, I started almost flipping everything, not caring the mess that I was creating because the pain in my heart didn't stopped.
I couldn't help when I leaned my forehead on the door of the closet "Allah, You were the witness of everything." I slowly sat down as I sobbed. But again in a second I was up searching for my cell phone. I knew I was shaking, I knew my steps were faltering but that didn't stopped me from pushing him away when he came to hold me from falling.
"LEAVE ME Mr.Sayeed!! I can handle myself. I will fall and not once but many times and still I will make myself stand just like I did all those years back. You weren't there. No, no one was there to stop. No one was there to hear my shouts, to hear my begging..." I took deep breaths as yet again my hand went to my chest.
"I-I know I wasn't good enough to stand beside you and yet I did but I made a mistake and ran away from my family. I accept my mistake but YOU" I poked his chest roughly "You prove to be way lower than me! At least I never judged anyone. Yes, I was blinded by money but never judged." With my legs shaking I took a step back.
"Ashar....Shezan, you both are the very reason of the every breath that I intake. If one is my heart then the other is my heartbeat. For you both I fought, I fought each day, cried and yet I failed. It was by Allah's will that Shezan came so early in our life and yet we were the zariya to bring him in to this world. I was foolish back then but you didn't only told him, you have also sown the seeds of hatred in his heart which is blooming rapidly.
He hates me Ashar. My child...." Turning away from him I ran a hand through my hair when I saw my cell was lying on the dressing table. Quickly picking it up I dialled the one number which I had vowed to never call.
"Can you pick me up?" Hearing a positive reply from the other side, I hanged up.
Looking at the reflection of Ashar in the mirror, I turned around one last time to face him.
"Ashar, I have got what I deserved and yes I was pregnant. And, if this makes you disgusted with me then you don't have to be 'cause I'm leaving you for good." With that said I turned my back to him and quickly wore my hijab.
After wearing my hijab I took off my ring, my chain and placed it on the dressing table. Then went to my closet and took out the cards and cash. Taking the cards and cash in my hand I walked towards him and dumped it in his hand.
"Maybe this might change the fact that I'm not a gold digger. Not a penny has been used from the card or from the cash which you've given to me in all these years." Judging by his reaction he was about to say something but I dismissed it by picking up my cell and wallet. I didn't bother to take anything else with me.
Sucking in a deep breath I glanced back and looked at him one final time before looking ahead.
"Please kiss Shezan a good bye kiss on my behalf. Take care."