chapter twenty-seven: you don't feel the same way?
WEDNESDAY EVENING. The last two days at work had been strange without the boys. Emma was out of the office on Tuesday to interview for an article which made for an extremely boring day at the office, and today was strictly a meeting day. I was in meetings from nine in the morning to four in the afternoon.
On an exciting note, one of the meetings was a personalized meeting for me to discuss my future with Celebration! and it had gone very well. We brainstormed a couple of ideas for different segments to have on our YouTube channel, and we even discussed hiring more people on talent contracts to expand our platform and gain a larger following. There were plenty of online networks that had platforms similar to what we were hoping for, but we wanted to bring something new to the table. At least, that was our goal.
I hadn't seen Luke since work on Monday—we had hoped to see each other Monday night, but I got dragged to a birthday party for Danny's niece at the last second. I had babysat her a couple of times and felt obligated to at least make an appearance.
We had hoped to try again yesterday, but the boys had an interview with a radio station in the afternoon and were asked to stay for a couple of hours.
We had finally demanded to see each other, so Luke was on his way over. He had agreed to help me cook a surprise dinner for Madalyn and Howie. It was their five year anniversary today—if you don't count the two month break they took after senior year to have fun for the summer. In reality, they were both just miserable during the whole break and fell in love all over again once we got to college.
I was leaving Luke in charge of cooking while I baked my signature homemade snickerdoodles. It was a well-known fact that I couldn't cook, but baking was an entirely different story.
There was a knock on the door at about five-thirty and I did the math in my head to set a mental timer of about two hours. Howie and Madalyn were supposed to be here at around seven-thirty. I rushed to the door and opened it swiftly. I smiled as I saw Luke and he smiled down at me.
"Hello, stranger," I said as I opened the door wider for him to come in. I closed the door once he had stepped inside.
"Hey, you," he replied as he flashed me another smile. We walked to the kitchen together and I started by showing him the recipe. "I'm getting paid for this, right?"
"Shut up," I said, bumping my side into his. The recipe was a mimic of what they had eaten on their first date. "Do you think you can handle that?"
"Do you dare question my skills?" Luke countered which caused me to laugh. I sent him an innocent shrug and he shook his head in amusement. "And what are you going to do during this? Look pretty?"
"I'm baking cookies," I told him just before sticking my tongue out at him.
"You can bake?"
"You're about to have the best cookie you've ever had in your life," I promised him and listened as he scoffed.
"That's a high bar, Jos. You sure they're that good?"
"Do you dare question my skills?" I asked him, calling back to his previous question. He laughed as he pulled me closer to him which was something I hadn't expected him to do.
"I can't wait for you to prove me wrong, because I don't believe you... but now I'm craving cookies," Luke told me which caused my eyes to playfully roll. "I've missed you... as dumb as it may sound."
"I've missed you, too," I told Luke as my heart began to pound. We were making intentional eye contact and I couldn't seem to look away. "The interview went well?"
"It wasn't as fun as the one I had with some professional named Joseline Culley..." I laughed at Luke's words and he sprouted a sly smile. "It went well, yes. Work's been okay without me?"
"You're full of yourself, Luke," I told him and he chuckled.
"You like it," he said confidently. "Seriously, how has work been? Have they made you head of the company yet?"
"Work has been fine," I told him, deciding to ignore his last remark. "Yesterday I was working mostly alone because Emma was out of the office. And today I had meetings all day, so now I'm a little tired."
"We'll make sure to get to bed early, then," Luke said which caused me to smile. The best part of all of this was that Luke was sleeping over.
"Thanks for coming over to help," I told Luke sincerely.
"You think I was going to let us go three days without seeing each other?" I laughed quietly and Luke promised that he was happy to help. We broke away from our slight embrace and started to get to work. I had laid everything out that Luke would need, including pots and pans. I started to gather what I would need as Luke inspected the recipe once again. "Am I making this for two or four people?" Luke asked.
"Fun fact—Howie and Madalyn hate eating alone because they think it's the only time they feel awkward. So... four."
"You know, I think eating with people can be really intimate," Luke said after nodding at my response. "So I respect them for that. I hate going on dinner dates."
"Seriously?"
"Yeah," Luke responded. "I think eating puts you in a vulnerable place for a multitude of reasons. People's tastes in foods can be so limited, and it's so easy for people to make assumptions about you based on what you're eating. Like, if you order something that the person you're with wouldn't dare touch, it can be sort of stress-inducing. Or if you order a steak and then find out your date is vegan at just the right time. Also, food is culturally so important because it's an essential need... I don't know. I just think food is really important and connecting with someone over food can be a lot of pressure."
"Wow," I said, not having expected Luke to say any of that. "I guess I've never really thought about it like that... but you're not wrong. I think food says a lot about a person which has always been interesting to me. I like going on dinner dates because you kind of get an understanding of someone as soon as they order. So I guess I'm guilty of making assumptions about someone based on their order."
"It's a layered experience that I don't think should be taken lightly," Luke spoke in a serious tone and I was amused by his passionate stance, but also interested in his points. I didn't think he was silly for what he was saying, I had just never heard someone talk so seriously about food.
"You'd be nervous to go on a dinner date with me?"
"Only because you're so pretty and smart," Luke told me which caused my eyes to roll. "If you didn't like my cooking so much, then yes. I would be. But see? We've bonded over food already, so I know we would have an enjoyable and connected experience."
"Are you insinuating that Madalyn and Howie aren't connected enough to enjoy food together?" I asked Luke; I wasn't accusing him of anything, I was just interested to hear what he had to say in response.
"I'm guessing there was a time when the two of them felt uncomfortable on a date, and the lack of connection probably scared them—obviously they have great chemistry and they're in love. But the fear of disconnection is real and it makes sense that they don't want to experience it again. I'm sure they'd be fine eating alone, but they probably just won't let it happen because they're afraid of how it could go." I continued to be amazed by what Luke was saying; he seemed so sure. Not in a cocky way, but in an intelligent way. "Plus, I'm sure they eat alone all the time—just not out at restaurants, yeah?"
"Yeah," I told him with a nod. "They feel more comfortable at home. But they haven't liked having anniversary dinners alone for the last couple of years. I think the importance probably adds to that fear, right? I mean... if there's a fear of disconnection, you definitely wouldn't want to experience it at a dinner that is supposed to be celebrating your time together and the dedication to one another?"
"Exactly," Luke said, smiling at me proudly as I seemed to figure it out.
"That makes so much sense... how'd you know all that? That was very psych major of you." Luke laughed at my words and I smiled at the sound.
"Maybe that's my true calling," Luke joked. Before we both went back to our respective duties, I turned on some music. "Imagine if we met at college... like, if I was normal."
"Luke... you are normal," I told him and he looked over at me to give me a look that said, you know what I mean. "You're always thinking about all the possible ways we could've met. What would it change?" Luke seemed to get quiet and I furrowed my brows as he looked away from me.
"Longevity," Luke nearly whispered and I only became more confused. "Never mind."
"Luke, what is it?" I asked him, leaving my spot and walking up to him.
"I don't regret any of what has happened between us, but I do think about how things would be if it had all happened differently. You're a one night stand that I couldn't get enough of... and I'm really glad I couldn't get enough of you. But it's made this so difficult... for me, at least."
"Luke, I don't think I understand—"
"I want to be at that place with you again, Jos. But the next time we're like that, I want us to be something more than just two idiots that think they're just fucking." I suddenly realized what Luke was saying and couldn't help but feel a slight shock. "We went backward... so it makes this harder."
"I see," I said before taking a step away from Luke. "We can't change how things happened," I stated before walking back to the ingredients I had laid out for myself.
"You don't feel the same way?" Luke asked me after about a minute of silence.
"It's not a question of whether I feel the same way, Luke." I looked over my shoulder at Luke to see him looking at me. "It's just not realistic to work on that right now, right? I don't want to put energy into thinking about all the what if scenarios. I have three weeks with you, okay? I want to focus on those three weeks." I could tell Luke had something else to say, but he seemed to decide that it wasn't worth it. He turned away from me and I bit my lip as I waited, but he never said anything.
The next twenty minutes were silent. I had finished the cookie dough and placed it in the fridge to chill for about half an hour. In the meantime, I decided to ask Luke if he needed help.
"Give me a job?" I asked as I gently bumped my hip into Luke's side. He let out a soft laugh, but I could tell something was still bothering him.
"Can I trust you to cut vegetables?" Luke asked which caused my eyes to playfully roll. "That would be a big help." I decided it was a job I could handle, so I got to work. I couldn't help but feel slightly awkward, which I wasn't used to in Luke's presence. I glanced over at him for barely a second and before I knew it, I had cut into my thumb.
"Fuck," I cursed as I took my thumb away, throwing the knife away from me.
"Shit, Jos." Luke immediately was by my side and had his hand on my back as he tried to look. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah—it just hurts like a bitch," I said as I held back tears of surprise. Luke sighed quietly and, without hesitation, took my waist in his hands and lifted me up onto the counter.
"Let me see." I gave Luke my hand and sniffled as I let out a couple of tears. "You're gonna be okay," he assured me and I laughed in embarrassment. "Hey," Luke said as he looked up from my hand and at me. He lifted one of his hands and wiped away the tears that had fallen down my cheeks. "Tell me where the bandaids are."
"Bathroom—the top drawer on the left," I told him before letting out another sniffle. Luke told me he'd be right back and I looked down at my finger as I waited for him. He was back in less than three full minutes and patched me up in no time. I could tell Luke was about to walk away, but I placed my hand on his face before he could leave.
"I don't want you to think I don't feel the same," I told him, deciding to be forward with him. "You cloud my every thought, Luke. I just want to make the best of our time without worrying about things."
"I understand, Josie, you don't need to explain—"
"I just don't want you to be mad at me," I told him and felt my face screw up. If I hadn't just sliced my thumb open, I probably wouldn't have been so emotional.
"I am not mad at you... shut up," Luke said, joking with me as he held onto my wrist and swiped his thumb against my skin. "I don't know how to talk to you right now without thinking about twenty other thoughts. And you know what I mean by thoughts. I'm trying to get a grip." I laughed quietly through my tears and Luke smiled at me. "I respect that you want to focus on the time we have." I nodded and Luke leaned forward as he placed a kiss on my forehead. "I can't believe I trusted you with the vegetables."
"I was looking at your dumb face," I placed blame and Luke playfully rolled his eyes.
"I'm irresistible, I know." I pushed Luke away and he laughed quietly before taking a step to the side and grabbing the knife I had been using. He walked to the sink and began washing it. "Don't you dare move, Jos—you sit there and stay safe."
"What if I fall?" I challenged him which got his attention. He sent me a glare and I smiled innocently. Luke walked back and crossed his arms as he looked at me.
"No sudden movements."
"Thanks, Luke," I said, referring to not only my thumb, but to his ability to respect that I didn't want to think about anything other than our time in the present. He nodded with a smile on his face and I accepted that it was the best he could give me right now; I knew he was disappointed.
"Maybe we should have weekly plans," Luke said after a couple of minutes of being focused on cooking. "As in, pre-planned."
"Okay," I said as I turned more toward Luke. "It's Wednesday now... and we have a little under three weeks?" Luke nodded at my question and I bit my lip gently as I stared at the side of his face.
How was it fair that Luke would just disappear in a few weeks?
"What does tomorrow look like for you? I have the same schedule every day, so we should probably schedule around you."
"I think I'm completely free tomorrow, so we can see each other whenever you're up for it. And Friday I'm supposed to be having dinner with the boys—I've been meaning to ask if you'd like to come?" I smiled at his invitation and nodded. "We try to go out to eat together at least once a month. Crystal will be there... and Ash might invite Emma? But none of us are really sure if they're serious serious. We just know that Ash wants them to be."
"Emma hasn't liked someone the way she likes Ashton in a while, so I say there's a pretty good chance that she's feeling serious about it," I told Luke which caused him to smile.
"I was actually going to ask you if you thought Madalyn and Howie might like to come?" I smiled at Luke's suggestion and I began to nod.
"They would love that, but I can't promise they won't do something a little silly. Madalyn's been in love with Calum since she was sixteen, so I can't imagine her being entirely civil." Luke laughed at my words but ultimately shrugged his shoulders.
"I'll bring it up tonight," Luke told me and I thought it was a good idea. "This weekend will be a little busier—I have a party to go to on Saturday night, and a meeting in the middle of the day on Sunday. If you promise not to make out with any other boys, I'd really like for you to come with me on Saturday." My cheeks heated up at Luke's dig, but I nodded at his words to signify that I would like to go. "You could spend the night after the party and then we could spend time together on Sunday?"
"I like the sound of all that—I promise to not kiss anybody." Luke chuckled under his breath and I sprouted an embarrassed smile. "We can plan for next week on Sunday." I hopped down from the counter and Luke gave me a look, not quite trusting me.
"I have cookies to bake, mister." I walked to the fridge and got out my cookie dough. I spent the next ten minutes getting the dough onto two separate baking sheets and I placed them in the oven.
"If this ends up not tasting good, I'm gonna need you to lie to me, babe." I looked over at Luke and laughed to myself at the look on his face. "I was confident at first, but now I'm not so sure."
"Don't you dare make me regret my catering decisions," I warned Luke which caused him to laugh. "You know it's going to be good... you just want a compliment."
"I am genuinely worried!" Luke tried to convince me but I continued to blow him off, trying to get him to stop worrying. "You're gonna make me mad, Jos."
"Oh, poor baby." I looked at Luke with a pout and he tried to suppress a laugh. "How will I possibly live with myself if I make the big baby mad?" I asked Luke as I crossed behind him.
"Josie," Luke warned which caused me to laugh. "You're on thin ice." Before fully walking away from Luke, I backed up and gently pushed him out of the way. I decided to taste test and as soon as I had fully tasted the food, I looked up at Luke with a scrunched nose. "It's not good?"
"It's amazing, Luke. Stop whining." I turned away from him and as I took a step, Luke wrapped his arms around my waist and lifted me up. "Luke!"
"Are you lying to me?"
"You told me to lie to you!"
"So it isn't good?"
"No, it is good! But even if I was lying, you can't be mad at me!" I was laughing by this point and so was Luke. He eventually let me down and I turned around before acting like I was going to punch him. "You've got less than forty minutes, big guy. I'm gonna go change."
"Change?" Luke asked, seeming surprised. "Are you going to make me look underdressed?"
"Luke, you're hot. You could wear cargo shorts and look like you were about to walk the red carpet."
I hurried out of the room and spent about fifteen minutes changing out of the clothes I had worn to work and into an outfit that was a little more me. Although there wasn't a strict dress code for work, I had a hard time mixing my style with professionalism.
Once I felt pleased with how I looked, I walked back toward the kitchen.
"Damn, you look hot," Luke said as I walked into his view. He was leaned against the counter, looking down at his phone. "Those are my favorite jeans of yours."
"I know they are," I said as I raised an eyebrow at him.
"You're kind of evil, huh?" Luke asked and I laughed quietly before apologizing. "I think the evil aspect is a turn off, so it's working."
"Are you sure it's a turn off?" I joked which caused his eyes to roll, but he never tried convincing me. I heard the front door open and my eyes widened. I looked toward the clock to see that it was barely ten minutes past seven.
"Do you smell that?" I heard Howie ask which caused me to smile. "Do you think she ordered food? It doesn't smell like it's burning, so I know she didn't cook anything." My eyes rolled at his follow-up statement and Luke let out a quiet laugh, which got him an elbow to the stomach.
"Something smells really good," Madalyn noted. A couple of seconds later, they waltzed into the kitchen to see Luke and me standing in front of them. Howie jumped slightly and then proceeded to cover his face; he was still a little starstruck by Luke.
"Are you two hungry?" I asked and the both of them immediately smiled.
"Luke... did you do this?" Madalyn walked up closer and peered at the food behind us. Luke nodded and that caused her to smile, it also sent Howie into a small freakout.
"Luke Hemmings cooked for our anniversary dinner?" Howie asked, trying to whisper, but failing tremendously. "Holy fuck. Do I smell your snickerdoodles?"
"Yes, sir," I said with a nod. Howie walked up to me and planted an aggressive kiss on my forehead, which sent me into a fit of laughter.
"You guys... this is so sweet," Madalyn said as she pushed Howie to the side and wrapped her arms around me. "Thank you." After hugging me, she turned to Luke and although she seemed hesitant to hug him, Luke enveloped her into a hug, and from her laugh, I could tell she was pleased.
I told Howie and Madalyn to sit down while Luke and I served them.
"Hey, thanks again," I told Luke before stepping up on my tiptoes to kiss his cheek. He happened to turn at just the right time, however, and instead of placing my lips on his cheek, my lips landed on the corner of his mouth. "Sorry—"
"That was my bad," Luke apologized as he let out a quiet laugh. "I'm glad you asked me to help out," Luke told me and I couldn't help my cheeks from heating up out of embarrassment. Luke took a plate for himself and Howie, and I took one for myself and Madalyn.
We served the food and then took a seat. I was beside Howie and across from Luke, and Luke was by Madalyn. I stood back up just a second later to pour us all a glass of wine.
After we all took our first bites, Madalyn and Howie couldn't believe that Luke had actually made the food.
"Forget singing, man," Howie joked which caused Luke to smile. "This is so good. This is like Madalyn good."
"You cook?" Luke asked Madalyn and she shrugged her shoulders, trying to give an answer even though her mouth was full.
"She's a great cook," Howie said, not letting Madalyn be modest. "Our little Josie would go hungry without Maddy."
"That's probably true," I said with a nod. "She's been progressing as a cook since our first year of college because of me."
"I'm mediocre at best, but mediocre is better than Josie." Luke laughed at Madalyn's statement and I playfully rolled my eyes as I sipped at the glass of wine I had poured myself.
"So... five years? How do you guys do it?" Luke started a conversation and I smiled at his effort. "I wanna hear the love story."
"It was all Josie, honestly," Madalyn told Luke. "Camden—Jo's older brother—and Howie have been best friends since they were kids. I moved to their school in sixth grade and Josie immediately took me under her wing. Josie despised Howie for probably—what—eight years?"
"Cam and Jo moved in next door when I was four. I don't think Josie talked to me civilly until we were at least fourteen." I laughed quietly at Howie's statement and he gently elbowed me. "She had a change of heart the summer after our eighth-grade year because she felt bad for me—Cam went off to a month long summer camp, and he was one of my only friends. Her and Madalyn were attached at the hip, but they let me tag along every now and again. But when Cam got home, I spent less time with them."
"We were always kind of mad about it," Madalyn explained. "Because we knew Howie wasn't as tough as he liked to make himself seem—but one night all of us, including Cam, hung out together, and then we sort of just kept hanging out together."
"Cam was a grade above and had plenty of other friends, which meant I eventually had plenty of other friends, too. But then I started crushing on Madalyn, so I tried to focus my time on hanging out with these two."
"But Madalyn liked Cam," I told Luke, wanting to be the one to tell the conflict. "She had seriously thought she was in love with him since the first day they met."
"Classic," Luke said as he sat back in his chair, clearly amused by and interested in the story we were all telling.
"I eventually told Josie how I felt about Maddy and she was all for it, but told me all about Madalyn's obsession with Cam," Howie said. "The summer before our junior year, Josie did everything in her power to get the two of us alone. She was bound and determined to make something happen. Madalyn was absolutely oblivious, but she eventually came around."
"He took me to this fancy ass restaurant on our first official date—after I realized that he liked me—and we both ordered this," Madalyn said as she pointed down at her plate. "So thank you for the callback."
"I'll say that this tastes much better than what I paid for that night," Howie said as he rolled his eyes.
"So Josie's a little matchmaker, yeah?" Luke asked and both Madalyn and Howie nodded their heads.
"She actually had an obsession with that kind of thing in high school. If she heard that someone liked someone, she jumped on the case," Madalyn said which seemed to surprise Luke. "But she never saved any time to get herself someone."
"Wedding planner," Luke mouthed over to me which caused me to smile.
"Fun fact: Josie's never dated someone for longer than three weeks." As the words left Howie's lips, I sighed and lost my playful smile. That was not something I often told people. I had nearly told Luke that fact, but I made it sound a little better by saying I just didn't feel passionate by the end of the first month with someone. I had kept it vague on purpose.
"What?" Luke asked, nearly choking on his wine which I thought was a little dramatic.
"She gets into things and then freaks out," Madalyn commented which made me want to go and hide. "However—she did talk to Anna for a full month before dating her for almost a full month. So that one definitely lasted longer than three weeks." I closed my eyes at the mention of Anna, my ex-girlfriend. "But she's had her fair share of romantic experiences," Madalyn said, her eyebrows dancing as she looked over at me. "She went abroad with her parents the summer after our first year of college and met a very attractive Italian guy and had a summer fling with him."
"It was not a summer fling—"
"I'm sorry—it was a week. She cut him off before things could become real," Madalyn corrected herself and I felt myself becoming genuinely upset by how she was making me sound. I glanced over at Luke to see him looking straight at me, as if he was trying to figure something out. Or as if he already had figured something out.
"Emilio was a friend who I shared a couple of moments with... I left a week after meeting him. So don't make it seem like I decided against pursuing him." I sighed and felt frustrated at the conversation. I didn't like that Luke and I had basically had this conversation a couple of nights before, but that he was acting so surprised. "I told you that I had a problem clicking with people," I spoke directly at Luke and he slowly nodded his head.
"Yeah, you did," Luke said, seeming less surprised now than he had before.
"I firmly believe that if I find someone that's worth my time and that I'm meant to be in a relationship with, I will want to be in their company constantly and it won't be a burden to continue things with them. Which hasn't been the case in the past. Now, can we please talk about anything other than this?"
. . .
The four of us continued to talk after we were done eating until it was about nine o'clock. I genuinely needed to go to bed sort of early, so I cut the party short. No one seemed to mind, though—Luke's meal and my cookies had filled our tummies to a point of exhaustion.
I had left Luke in my bedroom to wash my face. When I walked back in, Luke was laying in my bed, under the covers, and looking at his phone. He looked up at me as he heard the door close behind me and sent me a smile, which I reciprocated. I changed out of my clothes and into a pair of sleep shorts and a sweatshirt.
"Could we talk about something?" I found Luke's vague question amusing, and I nodded at him as I crawled into bed beside him.
"What's up?" I asked as I turned toward him, propping my head up with my arm.
"I feel like you might not like this conversation very much... but do you feel tired of me?" Luke asked me which caused my eyebrows to furrow; I was confused about what his question had to do with anything. It seemed to come from nowhere. "Is that why you just want to play out these next three weeks safely? Because... we don't click?" For some reason, the way that the question fell from Luke's lips caused my heart to nearly break.
"Luke—"
"I don't want you to think what you say is going to make me feel differently about you—I guess I'm just curious. I can handle being like every other guy you've liked—even if you've told me differently." Luke bit his lip gently after he was finished talking and I shut my eyes as I breathed in deeply. I couldn't believe I was about to admit what I was thinking.
"Luke, the reason I want to cherish these next three weeks is that... I think we do," I told Luke, honestly. "I think we do click, which is so much fucking scarier than anything else I've ever experienced." I had been looking away from Luke, but I glanced over to see his lips parted and his eyes slightly widened.
"Fuck," Luke said before collapsing onto the bed and covering his face with hands. "What can I do to make you not scared of that?" Luke asked as he sat back up and placed his hand on my cheek. "What can I do to prove that it shouldn't scare you?" My heart was racing as I looked into Luke's eyes. "We could really have something special here, Jos. Don't you see that?"
"Luke, despite my feelings for you right now... I can't just forget about how you'll be leaving for nearly four months before coming home. And then you'll be back just to go off again."
"I know it doesn't sound ideal—"
"No, Luke, it doesn't sound ideal at all. It sounds like a lot of hurting that I should spare myself of," I told him which seemed to strike him with sadness. "I wish the timing were different, Luke... but I can't change how it is. In the long run, you leaving me here isn't going to hurt you, Luke. Because, frankly, you have it all. I don't think you're some sleaze who's going to forget about me in a week, but there's so much in store for you. I'll still be here, I'll still be a friend. You're not losing me in that regard, but things can't work between us. Not now."
"The last thing I want to do is leave you here," Luke told me and I could tell he meant it, but I didn't know how to change my mind about things. No matter how much I cared for Luke and wished to be with him, I couldn't change our situation. "You make me so happy, Jos. I don't want to lose that feeling." I placed my hand on his cheek and gently swiped my thumb against his skin.
"I want to be happy with you now, Luke," I told him before smiling sadly. "I want to focus on the present because there's no use in arguing about the future. One day, that future is gonna be our present, and we can deal with it then. But I don't want these weeks to pass and then realize all we did was spend time dreading the day you leave. I want to be happy with you every single day until then. We can deal with that day when it comes, but that's not what I'm worried about right now." Luke sighed but eventually began to nod his head.
"Yeah... okay," he told me, seeming to understand where I was coming from. Luke leaned forward and placed his lips on mine, which filled me with a sort of melancholy feeling. I kissed him back, but we both pulled away before the kiss could become more involved. "You drive me fucking nuts." I laughed quietly at Luke's words and wanted to say something that would lighten the mood.
"Write a song about me someday, okay?" Luke's eyes closed as an amused smile played on his lips.
"There's at least an album worth of thoughts about you playing in my head, Jos." I hadn't expected his response and it caused my heart to flutter. I thought about kissing him again, but my heart told me that it was for the best that I didn't.
"Was that an attempt at getting me to fall for you a little more?"
"Did it work?" Luke asked which caused that same melancholy feeling to fill my gut again.
"Goodnight, Luke." I turned away from Luke as an amused smile played on my lips and I was pleased as his strong arms wrapped around my frame, cuddling me into his chest.
"Goodnight, Jos."
a/n:
y'all even i'm a lil mad that they won't just date already !!!1!!1!1
i tried writing a longer chapter to make up for the lack of updates, so i hope you all enjoyed !!!
i will hopefully update again v soon :) i am still taking it a lil slow, but i want to get back to daily updates again soon.
we will see how that goes !!!
thank u so much for reading. i love u endlessly
<3333
jill