"Lilith, are you ready?" Jon called me from downstairs.
My legs trembled as I looked in my mirror one last time.
The dark brown dress I wore made me look like a child, the glitter on the bottom of it and the ribbon in my hair made it only worse.
My eyes were puffy, I cried so much in the morning, my face looked swollen.
Not even the amount of concealer I put on helped me look lively.
The hate I felt inside me since yesterday made me so upset, I couldn't even look anyone in the eyes.
Victor came downstairs yesterday, in his arms clothes for Caleb, the twins and me.
He said we couldn't dress properly so he bought us these, I wanted to disagree with him, but Victor was on his limit.
Since days he would shout around the house, tell everybody what to do and how to do it.
Sometimes he even screamed at himself.
As I stepped outside of my room, the hallway was full of light.
There were family pictures hanging on the wall, and the doors of our rooms seemed like they were recently bought.
Elijah and I cleaned them very well.
Walking down the stairs made my heart race and my breathing felt cold.
The twins and Caleb waited already in the living room, in their neat clothes, awaiting our father.
"You look cute, Lil." Elijah gritted his teeth, as he tried to give me a sincere smile.
"You too." His hair was comped weirdly to the side, the orange shirt Victor gave him made him look like he was some kind of shady guy from the neighbor.
We all looked ridiculous.
"They should arrive soon." Jon walked in behind me, his hand brushed my shoulder, as he gave me a funny smile and sat down on the couch.
"Lilith, sit down." Caleb suggested. I nodded and seated myself besides him.
Biting my lip I stared at the floor.
We heard a car engine coming nearby, until it stopped and the slam of the car door became the most fearful sound I have ever heard.
It reminded me of the times I stayed quiet in the bathroom, hearing Mom and Simon come home late at night from their usual night outs.
These nights were the worst, there was no way they would have came back sober or clean.
The moment this man will come into this house my life will change and there is no coming back.
The door opened and I heard this voice I tried so much to forget.
Even though the first time I heard it, it graved into my head like a lost memory.
Like a sound I craved to hear for years and even in my head some of his words haunted me the past days.
"Finally home." He sighed in relief. "It's good to be back, son."
"It's good to have you back." Victor's voice was cheerful, it made him child like. It seemed like someone lifted a burden of off Victor's shoulders.
"Where are my boys?" He exclaimed in a weird way, he rushed into the living room.
Promptly Jon stood up, getting put into a big hug with his father.
"How much I missed to hug my boys!" He laughed, his hand brushing over Jon's back, the same way Jon did it when he hugged me.
It made me sick. To realize how much my brothers have in common with him, his way of talking, his gestures and even the way his voice sounded.
It showed that they grew up with him, I felt jealous.
"Cally!" He hugged Caleb the same way he hugged Jonathan.
I glanced up, sitting with my hands clenched together in my crossed legs. My face was strained, so I wouldn't burst into tears or get up and start a riot.
This whole situation was so uncomfortable and embarrassing for me, a father returning home.
The warm hugs of a parent, I wanted to through up and get hugged at the same time.
How could I be so weak and crave this man's touch.
"And my two little ones." His eyes got soft at the side of the twins. "Who gave you these ugly shirts?"
"I know." Xander scoffed, hugging his father first.
"Grumpy as always." He laughed, patting the head of Xander.
Elijah had his lips in a thin line, waiting for his turn to greet his father.
For some reason Elijah distanced himself from his father, he didn't hug him as long as the others did.
His eyes searched for mine, everytime he had the change to look at me, but I couldn't.
I kept staring at the floor.
"And I guess I should welcome my daughter, it's a little late, but welcome in the Clover household."
I couldn't believe the words that just left his mouth, he came into my direction.
He had the nerve to try to hug me, he had his arms wide open, as if the meeting we had in the prison never happened.
The word he called me and the loveless face he showed, he pretended everything was all good.
The betrayal inside my heart grew, I told him about the abuse, how can he smile at me like this.
You were an accident, Lilith
I tried to control my shacking breathing.
He noticed me backing away from him, trying to get pulled inside the couch, he held his hand out for me.
My eyes fixed on his fingertips, trying to comprehend what this man tried to do.
So I would pity you? To make me apologize?
"Lilith, gree-." Victor wanted to ermahn me, but our father held up his other hand.
How did you get in touch with them?
"It's okay, I understand how Lilith feels." The second after the sentence left his lips, I stood up.
Grabbing my father's hand was the first touch we had, was the first time I felt my father's hand.
It was warm.
Everybody has a though life, just because you think it was so terrible to deal with somebody's alcoholism you shouldn't have come to me. You should have went to a therapist.
Pressing down on his hand, I bit down on the inside of my cheek, I need to calm down.
Looking up, seeing his hor expression, I accomplished something. A emotion on this sinners face.
One side of me wanted to see him happy and the other one wanted to make him cry.
And if making a grownup man cry was too much to ask for, I want to see him on his knees.
Seeing his face so close, I could even count the wrinkles on his face.
I let go, my face wandered to Victor.
"Sorry, Victor, I will be polite." I gave him the best smile I could make in this situation.
"W-well." Victor stuttered and then coughed. "Now Dad, you should go rest and then we can have dinner."
"A room for myself with a comfy bed? Let's go!" He joked, making Jon and Elijah laugh a little.
A smile appeared on Xanders face and even Caleb and Victor looked calm about this man's jokes.
Xander followed Victor and our father upstairs, we four sat back down in silence for some minutes.
"You did well." Caleb praised me, he took my shacking hand in his and squeezed it.
I didn't even notice that the hand I gave my father started trembling.
Maybe I should chop it off. Stop, this whole thing made my thoughts weird, I need to settle down.
"I think you and father started a little rough, this will work out, I am sure." Jon said in a calm tone.
"Shut up, don't try to improve his image." I mumbled, instantly regretting what I said.
"Lilith, language!" Jon gasped. "I know you're angry, but you need to understand, we need to go through this to start a life as a family."
"I can't believe you guys." Elijah hesitated at first, but then shook his head in disagreement. "He called her an accident, this is no misunderstanding."
So our father told them.
Elijah stood up for me, the joy I felt made me feel better about myself.
The feelings I felt, felt right. I thought nobody in this house would ever completely understand me, but in this case Elijah did.
"He is our father and we love him, yes, but she has the right to choose how to act around him." Elijah put his hand through his hair.
"I agree." Caleb stated. "This act was okay infront of grandfather, yet father is a way different story."
Even Caleb.
Elijah pinched my cheeks and then held them in his hands. "He hid our little sister from us for more than fifteen years. I love Dad, but I don't know how to feel about that."
Even though Elijah looked at me, he seemed deep in his thoughts, I never saw him this serious before.
Jon sighed. "I will go up, I need to speak with Victor about the dinner. You guys can watch TV, but not too loud, maybe Dad's sleeping."
Jon ruffled through the boys hair and kissing my forehead before going upstairs.
Jon was acting different from his usual self, on his forehead for the whole conversation, there were lines.
He was worried.
This is going to end in chaos and when chaos won't be an option, then maybe an emotional disaster.
For me it definitely will be.
I never knew the dining room could become more hateful and sorrowful for me.
My fear of this room grew, after every minute that passed, waiting for the brothers that were upstairs and the man to come down.
I hope you enjoyed this chapter, dont forget to vote and comment your opinion!
Xx Mary