casey: i had a girlfriend once. sometimes i can still hear her voice.
izzie: we literally got married 6 hours ago fuck off
-----
casey: i wish more foods would be named like "i can't believe it's not butter!"
sharice: you've got to be pulling my leg, this is ranch?
izzie: shut up, are you telling me this is ketchup?!
evan: so i figured it was jam, but boy howdy was i jumping to some erroneous conclusions
sam: this is not soup
zahid: breadn't
-----
casey: ATTENTION!
izzie: what now, casey?
casey: i don't know, i just need attention.
-----
izzie: i don't date girls
casey: [walks in]
izzie: i marry them.
-----
izzie: pros and cons of dating me
izzie: pro; you'll be the cute one
izzie: con; holy FUCK where do i begin?
-----
casey: i am NOT out of control! i am a law abiding citizen!
elsa: name one law
casey: uh...don't kill people?
elsa: that one's on me, i set the bar too low
-----
sharice: so how's motherhood treating you?
izzie: good. i didn't expect this much crying, though.
sharice: don't worry, it's normal for babies.
izzie: what? no, the baby's fine, i was talking about cas-
casey, sobbing from the nursery: I LOVE YOU SO MUCH
-----
elsa: you're ignoring all your problems.
doug: i know.
elsa: you know that's unhealthy, right?
doug: i will be ignoring that as well.
-----
izzie: WHAT'S YOUR TYPE?!
casey, bleeding: freckles, beautiful brown eyes-
izzie: NO i meant your blood type
casey: oh
casey: [looks down]
casey: red.
-----
casey: you're being ridiculous. izzie isn't in love with me-
sam: yes she is.
sharice: yes she is.
evan: yes she is.
zahid: yes she is.
elsa, from the other room: yes she is.
izzie: yes i am.
-----
izzie: why is your back all scratched up?
casey: [flashback to her chasing a stray cat after izzie told her to leave it alone]
casey: i'm cheating on you
-----
izzie: how high are you right now?
casey, slowly: ....how what?
izzie: high?
casey: hello
-----
sam: oh god, the stove is on fire! what do we do!?
zahid: no worries, we just need an adult
sam: WE ARE THE ADULTS
zahid: FUCK-
-----
casey: it's times like these where i wished i had listened to what my mom said
izzie: what did she say?
casey: I DON'T KNOW I WASN'T LISTENING!
-----
izzie: i asked casey to share her queen sized blanket
izzie: to which she responded that she was already a queen and therefore the blanket was already at max capacity
-----
casey: are you okay?
izzie: yeah, why?
casey: because earlier at the store you asked one of the workers if damage repair shampoo worked on emotions
-----
izzie, frantically digging through her gym locker: has anyone seen my top?
quinn: yeah, casey's in the hallway
-----
izzie: i wanna be touched really hard
izzie: like with a car
izzie: hit me with a car
-----
zahid: i'm tired of being horny. i just want to be loved.
-----
casey: treat spiders the way you want to be treated!
izzie: killed without hesitation.
casey: baby, no-
-----
izzie: i'm straight
casey and zahid: [spit out their drinks while laughing loudly]
sharice: well i think they speak for all of us
-----
casey: wanna see a trick?
elsa: last time you showed me a trick, it took two weeks for my eyebrows to grow back
-----
casey: what rhymes with orange?
sam: no it doesn't
casey: ??
sam: what doesn't rhyme with orange
casey: ?????