26. Between and Below, the Taste of Salt Water
(Seemed too long to put in the header, but above is the full title of this chapter. Enjoy!)
For a few hours, I didn't touch anything soft. I thought it might set me off. I could still then feel her skin on my hands and the weight of her breasts. My heart had been beating incredibly hard since the moment we left the cove, and it hadn't stopped. I thought the way she'd so quickly pulled her bikini ties back up behind her neck and knotted them was incredibly sexy. She managed to compose herself quickly, I, on the other hand, didn't know if I was doing so well. I was trying hard to ease the throbbing in my chest, and between my legs, but it was proving to be difficult. I couldn't think, I could barely eat, everything that evening passed by me in a blur. The only thing that did stand out to me was Mr. Reed's sudden surge in affectionate behaviour.
It was sickening to watch, him touching her waist and trying her pepper her neck. At first, I just looked away and conjured up the images I had of her bare upper body, and her lashes fluttering with satisfaction. After a while though, they started to only make me spiral into doubt. As I watched him try and kiss her neck for the fourth time that evening, I started thinking of the 'what if's. After all the time I'd spent watching them be so distant and the arguing, seeing them so close made my stomach churn.
I remembered thinking, 'if he loves her again, what'll be my purpose? What can I give her that he can't?' And I didn't want to think too much, because I knew the answer would be 'I won't have one. I can't compete.'
I watched him stroke her thigh a few times before I decided I would leave the room. We'd all been watching television, but I excused myself. Jackie was passed out on the end of the couch, head hanging over the side awkwardly. Rockpool fishing had tired her out greatly, obviously. I was completely the opposite. I thought it wasn't possible for me to be more awake. I was assured I wouldn't sleep at all that night. My heart was still beating wildly.
Once in the bedroom, I closed the door with the flat of my back and sat down on the edge of my bed. There was a whistling breeze coming from under the bathroom door; its gentle chill made the little hairs on my legs stand. I was thinking. It was so quiet that I could really hear my pulse thrumming then. I lay back, drawing circles on my stomach with my fingertip.
It would be inappropriate to do it there, I knew that, but I didn't know what else would ease me. Her hand instead of mine? I sighed shakily, trailing my hand up my midriff. How would her fingers feel? Would they tremble against my skin, would I feel her worry while she tried to please me, or would I feel her longing? For me. My hands rose higher, pushing up the material of my top over my chest. It slid, slowly, up to my collarbones, leaving my breasts exposed to the same chill my legs had felt. How shameless! In a house that wasn't my own, on a bed that wasn't mine, thinking about a woman I couldn't have. For a bit, I swore it was for the sake of comparison - I wanted to see if I'd felt as soft as she. The skin was smooth, especially on the underside of my breast, but mine were smaller with the pressure of sports' wraps and strenuous exercise. I'd never had that spurt of chest growth in my teens, but I'd never wanted it. Until I knew then that they could feel so wonderful. I wanted that weight on my palms, the feeling of not being able to grab enough, that my hands couldn't be fuller. Mine were only handfuls. I could cup them and have my fingers halfway up to my collarbones.
The staircase groaned. Someone was coming up. I was breathing heavily, still laying back on the bed with my shirt pulled up. I didn't move. Why didn't I move? It could've been Jackie, what would she have said? But I knew it wasn't. Or I thought I knew.
The door to the master bedroom opened then closed. I'd thought for a moment that it was Mr. Reed, perhaps with Mio too, but there was only the soft padding of one pair of feet. And I was almost certain they were hers. I hadn't pulled my top down yet; I was just watching the swell of my breasts rise and fall with my breath. There was humming coming from behind the two doors, and I wondered if she was a good singer. Singing in her slight accent would be nice to hear, would probably make me smile. I wouldn't laugh at her, but she probably wouldn't take offence if I did.
The door to the bathroom on that side opened abruptly, and I scrambled to yank down my shirt. I lay there awkwardly with my arms crossed over my chest and a flushed face. She wasn't coming into the room, but the sound of the door opening suddenly so close had made my heart leap. I wanted her to come in and straddle my waist, and kiss me again and again, until I was breathless and she was guiding my hands down her body. I took a shuddering breath in and shook my head against the mattress.
"Norah?"
I heard my name come from behind the bathroom door. I sat up quickly, clearing my throat.
"Yes?"
"Could you pass me the hairbrush please?" She asked.
I glanced behind me at the bedside table, the metal-ended hairbrush that Jackie used every morning sitting on it. I was sure there was a pink one in the bathroom, between the taps, but I wasn't going to point it out to her. Instead, I picked the hairbrush up off the bedside table and walked around the bed to the bathroom door. I wanted to shush my heart. Its beating was still overly loud and fast, only pulsing faster when she called my name.
In the bathroom, she was leaning on the edge of the bathtub, hair looking perfectly brushed. It was silky and smoothed down over her shoulders. I held the brush out by my hip and in response, she kissed me.
It was chaste; closed mouths, no tongue, just the lingering press of her lips to mine. I felt everything I had tensed relax and relief oozed through me.
I was hot and flushed and dazed and happy; I was too many things at once. She pulled back for a moment to look at me, for reassurance I think. I was sure I looked ridiculous, like a puppy, or something needy. But for the first time, she leaned back down against me and kissed me again. We kissed twice and afterwards there wasn't a glimmer of regret in her eyes. She was smiling; she looked amused. With me, with my face.
"Are you okay?" She asked, rubbing her hand on the back of my arm.
I nodded slowly, and forgot I'd even been worried about anything ever.
-
I slept like a log, like a baby, like I'd been away from my bed for nights upon nights. At some point, my heart did slow and my eyelids drooped. I dreamt of nothing and woke refreshed, to Jackie tugging on my sheets.
I yawned and said, "what are you doing?"
"God, you're a light sleeper, I only just started doing that," she grinned, "I was gonna wake you up."
"I'm awake."
I rolled over, wiping my sleepy eyes against the linen and stretching. Instinctively, I looked over at the bathroom door, in some slight hope that it would be open and she'd be brushing her hair in the mirror, or smiling through at me. But, it was closed.
"What do you wanna do?" She asked, shuffling up onto the bed to squash my leg with her weight.
"We're going out?"
"My parents are out, they're doing a walk day thing with dad's friends. I said we wouldn't wanna go," Jackie said.
"Right, well, I'm hungry."
"Let's go out to eat?"
Her dad had left her a wad of cash on the kitchen counter top, and a spare key for if we left. I took a shower and got changed lazily into black shorts and a white shirt. Jackie, on the other hand, was dressed up like she was going out for a posh lunch in a light skirt and fancy shirt. I looked like a scruffy, casual bodyguard of someone important. Even our feet differed; she was in a pair of strappy sandals with a gold buckle, whilst I'd kicked on a pair of black flip flops. With Mio away, I had no one to really impress. Not that I was impressing her regularly. And I was hungry, and I'd just woken up. Those were my excuses.
"What do you want?" Jackie asked on the way down the path.
I hummed. "Something hot, eggs or bacon."
"Waffles?"
"No," I whined, "too sweet."
"Just have sausage with it," Jackie said. "You're too fussy."
The sun was beating down on us, every day felt warmer and warmer. The tarmac on the roads started to sting on bare soles. Most of the time Jackie and I had spent together had been in the house's back garden or up in the bedroom we shared. It felt like the trip was passing all too quickly, I could barely grab onto the hours. I knew I'd find it really difficult the day we had to leave, I didn't know how I'd part with the house. I hadn't even had a bath yet!
We stopped at a corner cafe, with an outside area littered with metal table sets and blue parasols. Jackie went in alone, looking flashy in her sunglasses with her hand posed over her purse, thick with bills. I waited by the doorway, arms crossed over my chest and my brows heavy, trying to look as unapproachable as possible. I hated to be spoken to in public by strangers and I'd seen a few drunk men ambling about the area, even that early in the day.
Jackie reappeared again with her sunglasses pushed up on her head and a table number place mat in her hand.
"The inside countertops were greasy, just thought you'd want to know that," she said, steering me towards a two person table further into the outdoor seating area.
I chuckled. "Thanks. I think I'm too hungry to care."
"Besides," Jackie said, "you're about to eat that same grease, just in food."
I cringed a little bit, and found myself glancing down at the table. "Stop, I won't wanna eat anything!"
"What? You eat greasy things every day!"
We ordered from the little laminated menus stacked on the side of our table. Jackie got a plate of pancakes, drizzled with a sickly amount of syrup, and I got simple eggs and bacon. The table behind us was full of college boys, all of them snatching chairs from other tables to get as many around the tiny metal frame as possible. They were loud, like boys were, and made the first half of our breakfast hard to talk through. But once their food was delivered, they quieted and spoke through full mouths.
When I was halfway through my eggs, Jackie asked,
"Has Giana apologised to you yet?"
I shook my head, chewing and swallowing.
"I had a weird feeling she would call you, hmm. Guess if she doesn't now, she never will," Jackie wiped the corners of her mouth as she spoke.
"I don't know what I would say if she did, am I supposed to forgive her?" I shrugged.
"You're a bit too nice sometimes. I thought you would," Jackie said, then pointed her fork at me, "I wouldn't."
"I know you wouldn't. You probably wouldn't have had water thrown over you in the first place. You probably would've squashed the problem before it even got there."
"I probably would have, you're right."
"I don't think me and her can exist as friends again, and definitely not as anything more," I said with a sigh, "though I probably don't have to tell her that at this point. I just keep thinking if she can slap me and throw things on me, who knows what she'd be like in a relationship?"
"She's not really someone I could see you with anyway, Fish, I confess. You would've been a strange couple," Jackie grinned.
"Who would be more suited to me then?"
"An older woman probably."
I laughed a bit too loudly then. Jackie shot me a strange look and I could feel the eyes of the college boys boring into the back of my head. I even startled myself a little.
"Not a prehistoric woman, just a cool college student, an arty woman probably. Is that what you were thinking?" Jackie explained, eyebrows raised at me.
I smiled knowingly. "Yeah, something like that I suppose."
We chatted for a few more minutes, before piling our plates and cutlery neatly at the side of the table and going to leave. But we were called to.
"Girls!"
I heard it from the table that was behind us, and Jackie did her best girly shoulder look to see who was calling to us. There was a tall, skinny-framed boy with dirty blonde hair and a toothy smile sat nearest to us and on his side was a pretty boy with a well-shaped afro, coils perfectly neat. I assumed those were the ones that spoke to us.
"Yes?" Jackie answered. I said nothing.
"Are you busy? Tonight, not now," the pretty boy asked. He had eyes like a cat, an almond shape to them and dark curly lashes. Jackie was looking at him.
"I might be," Jackie said. Again, I said nothing.
He smiled, that looking feline in its curl too. "Are you staying close to the beach?"
She nodded.
"Come there tonight. College bonfire thing. If you're interested," He said.
"Hmm, you'll see me maybe." Jackie was obviously trying to be coy and I snorted. She pinched me hard. "Got a name?"
"Fezzah," he smiled then tilted his head a bit, "but Fez is fine."
"See you later, Fez."
And we both made our exit. As soon as we were away from the boys though, I burst out laughing. Jackie punched me lightly on the arm, sliding her sunglasses down over her eyes as if it would hide her wobbly expression.
"You trying to be sexy is the worst thing I've ever seen," I struggled through laughter.
"I was not trying to be sexy, you dick!" She snapped, then softened her tone. "They thought I was a college student."
"Well, you will be by the end of this year. Not far off," I said.
"Oh God, they want us to go to a beach bonfire."
"No, they want you to,"
Jackie frowned.
"Fez wants to see you," I teased, "and wow, what a pretty boy he was."
"He was pretty, wasn't he?" Jackie spoke softly.
It was only midday then, so we made the decision to spend the rest of our hours down at the beach. Finally, I swam in the ocean.
It was not as warm as I thought it would be, and the waves that made me bob also rushed salt water against my face. It got in my mouth and made me cough and spit, but it also made me laugh. God, it was glorious. It was heavenly. To be floating on my back in such a powerful body of water was thrilling. Though it wasn't aggressive or threatening, a prick of anxiety unfurled in my chest, each time waves rose and shrunk against my body. We swam and bobbed then until the sky grew orange and my skin was pimpled with the cold.
-
It was about eight when we came in. The television was mumbling in the living room and the sound of a running shower could be heard higher up a level in the house. I'd been shuddering since I waded out of the water, so when Jackie tossed me a towel, I gratefully wrapped myself with it, pressing my nose into the material. We'd both not worn our bikinis under our clothes, and though the house was only a short distance from the beach, we decided it was too far. We'd stripped to our underwear and hurried into the cover of the water, leaving our clothes piled a little too close to the creeping water line. So, I was standing in the foyer of the house with my underwear slicked against my skin and a fluffy towel wrapped tightly to me.
The beach bonfire was being set up as we left. No sign of Fez though, and I'd seen Jackie looking. She was going to go, or at least she wanted to.
She was hopping up the stairs two at a time moments after we'd come in, calling that she was going to change. I followed up slowly, listening to the shower down the hall squeak as it stopped. The upper floor felt humid with the steam coming from under the thick door gap to that bathroom.
In the bedroom, Jackie was trying on dresses. Her hair had already half dried. Lazily, I pulled back on what I'd been wearing before over my wet underwear then flopped down on the bed.
"You're not wearing that, are you? It smells... salty," Jackie said from the mirror across the room.
"I am wearing it. Right now. It's not a hallucination," I said.
"I meant to the bonfire."
"I'm not coming," I was speaking face down into the mattress.
"What? Why not?"
"Because they don't want me to come! And I don't want to come," I said.
Jackie huffed. "They do, of course they do. They said 'girls' not 'Jackie."
"Because they didn't know your name, but anyway, this is not a case of me feeling left out, I just really don't want to be surrounded by sweaty college boys. I'm tired." I was being honest, I really was. I just wanted to fall asleep, and not be stuck at an overly hot bonfire with people I didn't want to spend a minute with. The woman I wanted to be beside was right where I was, so I wasn't moving.
Jackie's voice was closer then, she was standing by the bed. "So you're gonna make me go alone?"
"Now you're just making me feel bad," I turned my head to pout at her. "You won't be alone anyway, you'll be with Fez."
Jackie rolled her eyes, but her lips twitched in a small smile. "Yeah, yeah, but you owe me, okay? Let me go tell my mom, or my dad, wherever they are."
She left the room and I turned onto my back, watching the ceiling fan whirr and spin slowly above my body. My eyelids were heavy, I could fall asleep there, even though my skin was uncomfortable. A tune of a seventies song was on my lips, and I hummed it until I remembered the name. Jackie was talking in the hall, her voice was coming closer to the room. I realised then that I hadn't heard much apart from the shower and the television. Where was Mr. Reed's irritating voice? Why wasn't he singing at the top of his lungs?
I pushed myself up on my palms to ask as Jackie re-entered the room. I think she'd decided on her dress. It was hunter green and clung to her form like plaster.
"Who's in?" I asked.
"Hmm? Oh, just my mom. My dad's getting drunk with friends, at least that's what she said. He'll probably get lost in the middle of the night, he's that type of drunk," Jackie explained, fluffing her pin-straight hair in the mirror.
I smiled into my palm, keeping that expression to myself with the concealing motion of my hand. That would've been her coming out the shower, and her who turned on the television. It'll be her shampoo I would smell in the hall. And her face I would see when Jackie left.
She asked me about her dress, then her hair, then her face, and I said beautiful to all. She seemed less annoyed about me not coming with her then. She was smiling and moving quickly about the room, to see if she'd forgotten anything. Then when she was certain, she patted my cheek in a weird goodbye and bounded down the stairs and out the front door.
Then the house was quiet. I was still lying on the bed, my skin was still damp. I should have a shower, I thought, get up and shower. I smelt like the sea, my hair especially.
I reached out for the hairbrush on the bedside table and tugged it through my hair a few times before deciding I definitely needed a shower. I liked the smell of the sea, but I was sure others didn't like smelling it on me. I could taste it on my lips, the sharp flavour of salt on my cupid's bow.
What about a bath? It was an opportunity for one.
I got off the bed and moved for the bathroom. The lovely one that connected our two rooms. I wondered where she was in the house? I couldn't hear her.
The window was open in the bathroom, only slightly, and there was a half-squeezed lip gloss on the surface between the taps. In the mirror, I saw myself properly for the first time in hours. My skin was paling, appearing to lack its usual golden colour, perhaps just in the shine of the jarring, bright ceiling lights. My hair was dark and damp. My lips seemed fuller though, pinker, and my eyes had a brightness to them. For a moment, I didn't feel like I was looking at me. My freckles looked more apparent than usual, and I noticed one new spot just above the bow of my lip.
My ears pricked up at the sound of a closet door closing, then the soft padding of feet. She was so close to me. I pressed my hand flat to the door between us. Would it be strange to strip down and bathe while she was so close? Or would it put me at ease? In my daydreams, she was closer. For now, this will do, I thought, this will do.
I raised my fist and knocked against the wood. Then waited.
"Yes?" I heard.
I turned the knob and stepped inside.
Mio was lying on the bed, eyes closed, hand pressed under her ear. She was in the robe she often wore back in Twin, at night. She looked as if she was just about to doze off and I'd disturbed her. Still, I came a little closer to the bed.
"I think I'm going to have a bath," I said, "just letting you know."
She didn't open her eyes, but she smiled. "Do you want my permission?"
I laughed, "I don't know. Yeah. I think that's why I came here."
"I feel like I haven't seen you all day," she said, and I sat on the edge of the bed, by her legs.
"You haven't. You haven't even seen me now."
She opened her eyes slowly then, lashes raising, and really looked at me, really saw me. The tips of her fingers brushed my lower back. But so subtly that I could barely tell whether they were against me or a ghost of my active mind. I wanted to melt into her, I was wrapped around her little finger and I wondered if she knew.
"How was today?" I asked, not wanting to stay silent under her gaze.
"Not as good as yesterday," she replied, smiling a little.
I laughed shortly, making a sound that sounded more like a giddy gasp. It was the kind of the thing I hadn't expected her to say at all. And it only meant what I made it mean.
"Yeah, same," I said, failing to keep the corners of my lips down.
Her fingers really did brush the small of my back then. They were so very obvious and it made me think, she always makes the first move. Her initial passiveness was slowly diminishing. She always kissed me first, she always touched me first, she had to guide me. At that moment, it was making me feel childish. I didn't want to feel our gap. I spent hours and hours practising my patience, letting her guide, all while I was itching to be in control, to show her that I didn't always have to be passive. It was what she wanted, and I always needed to be sure what she wanted.
I looked down at her, and watched her look back, scanning my face for reason. I was being slow. I hadn't realised how anxious making the first move could be, I hadn't realised the extent of Mio's courage. My hand came over her body and rested beside her waist, the side furthest from me. Her brows softened. I think she realised then. I shuffled up, hung my head and leant into her mouth. She was waiting with lips parted and welcomed my kiss with a heated sigh, her hand snaking up into my hair.
But I pulled back quickly once I realised, and said, "wait, my lips taste like salt water."
"I don't care," she whispered and her hand pushed the back of my head gently, bringing our mouths back together.
To surprise me even further, her tongue darted out her mouth and licked over my bottom lip. I made a little sighing noise at that, and my mouth opened, my own tongue licking into hers. This kiss was different. This kiss had my face completely flushed, little red circles burnt into my cheeks. This kiss had both her hands on me, grabbing tenderly in a way that made me think she wanted me closer and closer, until I could be no closer. She was rubbing my hip with her fingers and I was only gingerly touching her. Even though I was supposed to be leading, I'd been overcome with a worry that I would make her uncomfortable. My lack of actual direction was irritating.
Her hand smoothed out of my hand and down the side of me, making me shiver, and rubbed my other hip. I didn't know whether it was in my head or not, but I was making little gasping noises. My knee was up on the bed, settled between her parted legs, but in the next moment, I was being shifted. Her hands on my hips pulled me up until I was straddling her waist, my heat pushed down against her stomach. I wondered if she could feel it. In that position, I had to lean down completely to kiss her, flushing our bodies together. She was holding my hips down against her, the subtle friction was dizzying. The urge to rock was almost overwhelming.
I'd wanted control, and I'd been melted into submission.
But where was I planning on going? Where was she planning on going? We'd always just kissed and parted, what would we do if we didn't pull apart this time? Would it make her uncomfortable if I was honest? I would wait for a lifetime for her, my patience had no limits for the woman beneath me. Something was brimming inside me though, something I could contain and put the lid on at the right moment, but it was something I could allow to overflow.
I wanted to -
"I want to do things to you," I said breathily, lifting my mouth from hers. I was shaking. I think I was shaking.
Her fingers rubbed my hip again. "Then do them."
I swallowed. "Can I touch you?"
She nodded, and I allowed that thing in me to overflow. The permission and reassurance had been all I'd needed. She tilted her jaw up and I pressed myself back against her. This time my hands were firm on her waist. My kisses got a bit sloppier, my lips wetter, tongue and teeth freer. I don't know what her permission awakened in me, but I was encouraged. Even with it, I still wanted her guidance, verbal and physical reassurance. But the sound of her breath catching in her throat when my lips slipped to her jawline was enough. I think I made the same sound.
Her throat smelt floral. It was her smell, so raw and right against me. I pressed my nose to it and inhaled, grazing the tip of it down the side of her neck as I did. I didn't mind getting the taste in my mouth.
I'd heard that necks were sensitive, just like a nipple or the inner thigh. That if I kissed or licked it, I'd get a reaction. I kissed it first, then licked it as I'd licked her mouth. A sighing sound came from her throat and her hands gripped my hips. Her perfume was sharp on my tongue, her skin was soapy and fresh, but I kept my mouth against it. I kissed her skin with parted, wet lips and licked stripes. The stripes made her squirm, made her hum, made me breathe heavily.
I slipped my slightly trembling hands between our bodies, finding the tie to her robe and tugging on it. What was beneath? A thin slip? Underwear? A camisole? Negligee? Nothing? My questions were answered when I'd got it untied and slipped my hands into the sides. I gasped against her jaw, my hands smoothing against her bare stomach. Nothing. I wasn't prepared yet, I'd been expecting some more slow undressing but I'd been launched at the exposing of her full body. I couldn't look yet. Her cheek was red hot when I found it again with my mouth. She didn't move to cover herself, nor hide, only her face, which she angled away from me. I used that motion to kiss at her neck again.
Then I was looking at her collarbones, eyes almost anxious to trail down her. She'd exposed her midriff to me like a trusting cat. I didn't want to let her anxiety overwhelm her. Her chest was rising and falling quite quickly, I could almost feel the worry ticking upwards inside her. So, I kissed again and again, trying hard to kiss it away. I wanted to say something but I couldn't find the words. They weren't in my mouth or my throat, I couldn't reach for them.
I gazed down, just at her chest and let the breath I was holding leave my lungs. I cupped her breasts up into my palms, instantly remembering their weight and feel. Her face was visibly red then, her lips glossy and parted. I wanted to kiss her again, but I decided I should continue what I'd started.
Propping my arms up either side of her, I lowered my head to her chest and kissed, dragging my lips over to her nipple. I felt her back arch up, pushing her breast up against my mouth. My heart was pumping hard. I was doing something right. I wanted to do more and more until she was writhing and whining, utterly useless under my skill. I swirled my tongue around her nipple, then flattening my tongue over it like I'd seen women do in adult videos. It elicited a reaction from her that almost made me jump with pleasant surprise. A muffled moan. She'd pressed her hand against her mouth to quiet herself I suppose.
I lifted my head to look at her. "Let me hear," I said softly.
Her hand slipped from her mouth, eyes wet as they gazed down at me. But not with any kind of sadness. It was that longing, that lust, I'd seen in my dreams. Those same wet eyes were looking down at me and I nearly swooned at the sight.
My lips closed around her nipple, gently sucking and licking. She'd started to breath heavier, her whines and sighs mixing and coming through her mouth simultaneously in some sort of hiccuping breath. She was stroking the top of my head and intermittently, gripping handfuls of my hair. Not hard, just tightly enough to make me hum with pleasure. My hand on one side was dragging up and down her hip, just feeling her, memorising every curve and dip on her.
I'd imagined it so many times, so many nights, in so many distracted daydreams. Nothing's ever how you exactly imagine, but this experience was coming frighteningly close.
Underneath me, she was rubbing her thighs together impatiently. I felt every jolt of pleasure that shot through her, from my mouth switching between her nipples down through her stomach, making her legs twitch and her tummy jump. I'd stopped caring about neatness, my kisses and licks were sloppy, loaded with want. My arousal was rising past a point I'd ever known.
"I want to make you feel so good," I mumbled against her skin as I dragged my mouth down towards her bellybutton.
"You're doing so good, this feels so good," she breathed, her voice was rasp with pleasure. Her fingers were rubbing into my scalp, threaded into my still slightly damp hair.
The encouragement made me whimper, my heart leaping inside me. I pulled my lips up from her body to part her knees with my palms. I did it slowly, savouring the reveal of what I'd dreamt of so many times. My head was swimming. I'd been stripped bare of every emotion I knew, leaving only raw and ruddy want. I could feel the magnetic pull that was emitting from that thing sitting below her navel. It spread as I pushed her knees apart, and I could smell her arousal. Soft, wet and pink, fringed by a thin patch of black curls. The entrance was glistening with her own want, a want I'd induced.
I stroked my index finger down the slit, making her hips jump off the bed.
My voice was a little hoarse when I asked, "can I put my mouth on it?" I pressed the pad of my thumb over her clit, adding, "right here?"
"Please. Lick it," Mio's voice came out in a whimper, pupils blown and dark as she stared down at me.
I ducked my head down between her legs, pressing my nose and lips against her inner thighs, feeling her squirm. This was the part where I didn't know what I was doing. I was being led by lust and the desire to please. But the perfection between her legs was most likely complicated. Would she give me verbal cues? Would she just moan when I got to the right spot? Or guide my head with her hands on my cheeks? I knew I couldn't just plunge my tongue in and hope for the best reaction, I'd learnt that sex was a build-up, or that I had to build something up. Sex. We were having sex. Oh my god.
I littered little, butterfly-light kisses down the insides of her thighs. Six down each time, me counting as I went. I bought my mouth down against it, at first only brushing my top lip against its beginning, teasing myself more than her. My first lick was experimental, eyes squeezed shut, only the tip of my tongue running through her. Not to taste test, but to try for her reaction. Her hand gripped onto my head again and a little gasping moan leaked from her. I pressed down with a flatter tongue then, feeling her hips twitch, making me hum. I swore I'd never want to taste anything else again. It was intoxicating! Having her pleasure in my control was exhilarating, causing her pleasure was arousing itself! Her noises were encouragement, the perfect tell-tales for what she wanted and where she wanted it.
When I glanced up, I saw that she had her head tilted back against the pillow, throat bobbing as she moaned, hair brushed back from her slightly wet throat. She was the thing I didn't know I needed. But I did, oh, I did. After tonight, there would be no such thing as turning back. No forgetting, or brushing under the rug. My head between her legs, her hands fused into my hair, the sound of her voice rising in the room would be imprinted onto the history of Mio and Norah forevermore, no matter how insignificant that stretch of history may seem to anyone else.
Each time I broadened my tongue and pressed hard, her hips jutted and rocked against my mouth, letting me know I was hitting that spot. The spot that made her whine, that made her lips shape an 'O'.
"Oh - oh, God, you good girl," she babbled, and a moan came from me. I pressed my thighs together hard and tried not to roll into bliss. It was really like she could read my mind, she could read me.
Her gaze dragged down from the ceiling to my pink face. With a shaky hand, she scraped all my hair out of my face, forcing me to look up at her as I licked. Her bottom lip wobbled as she moaned again.
"You like praise?" She asked breathily. I was a little embarrassed that she'd noticed my reaction, and slowed my mouth.
I nodded sheepishly against her thighs and she smiled at me, a lazy, dazed smile like she was in heaven. Her vulnerability was like an acceptance to me, she was allowing herself a night of 'giving in', teasing the tether of my patience to the point of instability.
"My pretty girl, good job."
I squinted my eyes shut and closed my lips around her clit, sucking, trying to calm my rapid pulse. It was so perfect. Her voice, her words, her taste, her skin. I was feeling faint with it all. I was gripping her hips, my arms hooked under her thighs, keeping her close to me.
I didn't realise how fast or how intensely I was lapping at her until I noticed her panting. She was grabbing fistfuls of my hair then smoothing her palms over where she tugged, as to soothe an imaginary wound. Her head was thrown back against the pillow, mouth agape, tummy flexing.
"Good, so good, you're gonna make me come," she was mumbling, half to me and half to herself. Then she started to speak in a language I didn't understand and was gripping my head tight.
I was going to bring a woman to orgasm. And not just any woman. Mio. Mio was going to come, because of me, because of my mouth. My jaw had a dull ache at its corners, but I worked it harder than I had been, feeling her jerk under the new pace.
Suddenly, she was silent. Her moans and whines thinned out to silence. Her back arched up then her entire body shuddered and relaxed. She was massaging her fingers into my scalp, circling motions like she was touching herself. And her face, oh, her face. Mio's face relaxed in bliss, pure ecstasy tightening then relaxing her beautiful features, the wobble of her lip, the fluttering of her lashes, the strangled and hushed moans tumbling from her wet mouth. It was enough to keep me fired up for hours. It was so beautiful that I couldn't possibly walk away from her then. I wanted to please for hours, for the rest of my life - I would be prepared to.
I rose from between her legs and she sat up to meet me, wiping my chin with her fingertips before kissing me, really kissing me. I was back in her lap, feeling too dressed. My fingers were on her collarbones, tracing it, feeling it. Then on her breasts, stroking and kneading like I had the day before, only this time I was more certain. My lips slipped from her mouth, touching her chin, then her jawline, then her neck again. I'd licked all the perfume from it, leaving on the taste of my mouth and her skin.
I could feel her hand on my stomach, the other on my leg. Though so simple, I was shivering and sighing. She was kissing the top of my ear when her hand sunk down under the waistband of my shorts. I was gripping her waist, my nails too short to hurt, but enough to leave faint half-moon shaped markings. It was like in my dreams where she would slip her hands down between my legs and rub and stroke, only she really was. It wasn't me touching myself, or me living through a particularly lucid dream. Mio's fingers were seeking me out, feeling me, learning what made me gasp, and I was panting into her ear.
I think she was saying something to me, but I couldn't hear much apart from my own breathy noises. My stomach was pooled with hot, sharp arousal, unlike anything I'd ever felt before. Every movement she made, she managed to make perfectly. It was building up far too quickly, I was rolling my hips and making noises I didn't know I could make.
Mio was smiling against my cheek, arm pumping, fingertips circling me. I thought, if she goes any faster, I'll come too quick. I wanted to slow down time, savour this pleasure and memorise it. But the knot inside my stomach was coming undone.
"Faster?" She whispered, breath fanning my cheek.
"Oh! Wait - Uh, God!" I whimpered with struggling lips. Her movements were much quicker then, much stronger, too heavenly. I was gasping and mumbling praises into her ear, my words only coming out incoherent and jumbled.
No life ever would compare to the one I was living now. I wanted to be reincarnated into this one over and over until I was sick to the teeth of it.
Further and further I was falling into bliss. I was tense, holding onto something. And just before I teetered over the edge, I let it go. I allowed myself to pass over the point of no return.
A/N: Hello! Adding this at the end as it would've been a spoiler at the start. I very nearly did change this chapter because I noticed a few people liked the slowness of this story, and weirdly I still thinks this counts as slow! No confirmation of feelings, in fact they never talk about it at all, there's still a rigidness with them (melting slowly). But I didn't edit this for a later date because it fit too neatly with the rest of the plan for the remaining chapters. I feel like this chapter was important, but what do you think? Hope you enjoyed!