Warning: Self-harm, a few mentions of rape and sexual abuse. If this triggers you please don't read. I can't live when I know I caused someone's death.
Shoto Todoroki's POV
I arrived home and it was already sunset. Father probably is still here. I waved goodbye to paul, my driver and enter the 2 doored mansion. I walk past the living room and entered a hallway. I was greeted by Fuyumi in the kitchen. "Shoto, welcome back....What's with the flowers?" She asked.
I looked down at my belongings. I was holding a small bouquet, a paper bag filled with the cheescakes, and a another paper bag filled with the chocolates, notes and shirts I was given by my 'admirers'. I set them down at the kitchen island and looked at them. "I-....I don't really know myself. People gave these to me saying that 'they're interested' and 'like' me. I don't really know why" I said.
Fuyumi's face lit up and stopped whatever she was doing. "Shoto, say that again" and looked at the flowers. I repeated myself and then she hugged me tightly. I liked her embrace like she was really happy. I smiled a little and she laughed "what's wrong?" I ask. "Well 'cause you're the guy yet you were the one given gifts and even flowers that match your hair." She said.
"Well...they were the ones that were interested in me" I said defensively. She scoffed and asked "They?!" And looked at me. She then called Natsuo who just arrived. "NATSUO!! Get over here!" She yelled. Natsuo came and he had a tired look yet it changed to a curious one when he saw the flowers.
"What happened? Why'd ya call?" He asked. "Sho got a lot of admirers. Look what they gave him" and looked at me. Natsuo stared at me and asked "Dude, how?! I couldn't even get my crush to like me back!" He complained. I shrugged and said "I never really know why also. They just hid a bunch of letters in my locker and asked me to go somewhere" I said taking off my bag and showing them the letters.
They scoffed in unison and said "Shoto, you're just 14 and it's your second day at school. Just what did you do in the first day?" Natsuo asked. "Nothing much, just some art class, a quirk test outside of the school and that's it. Oh and I was asked to go infront of the whole school in the auditorium since I got perfect in the exams out of everyone" I say in my monotone voice.
She then nudged natsuo. "You do know that shoto's appearance is quite alluring and also, he has his own fashion designer and sometimes his make up artists would come by" she said. Natsuo then said in a kid's whining voice "Now I wanna have a make up artist!!" And they both laughed.
I didn't get the humour yet when did I ever do? I wasn't blessed with the pleasure of learning what's trending and entertainment when I grew up. Besides my phone, I can never really get any outside information. Only online friends were there.
I asked them "What will I do with these?" I asked. Fuyumi said "put the flowers in a vase and put water so it stays without wilting. Also, put your chocolates in your fridge. Do what you want. But I'll take a photo first" she said.
She then sat me on the chair and said "smile" while arranging the stuff and taking photo. I looked the other way and she sighed. "Why don't you like taking pictures!" She whined and said "I'll make memories with this" and ran away.
I took my phone and just took a picture of the new stuff. I stood up and gathered my stuff. I walk back to the hallway and enter the elevator and pressed the "5" button. The whole floor was mine but it was smaller compared to the rest of the floors since half of the floor was my training room and my pool area.
Endeavor said water helps to deal with my quirk and said that to the architect of the house. The architect went overboard since the budget was over the top. Endeavor was glad even though I didn't care if I had a floor nor a small room. I just needed a safe place so that I can breathe.
I enter my actual room and took a vase that I made a few years ago. It was pottery class and we had to paint it. I made a vase that had vines etched in it. It spread all over and I added a few holes at the top just to make it more intersting.
It was on my shelf and I just grabbed it and put water in from the faucet in my bathroom. I removed the ribbons and papers on the bouquet and put the roses in a fashion like my hair. It was split in half. My OCD couldn't handle it just randomly put in there.
I put the chocolates and the cheescakes in my mini bar which had a mini fridge, plates and utensils and even alcohol. I had also soda and some energy drinks. I opened the closet and opened the fridge to place the chocolates safely and not just throwing it in there.
I strip from my uniform and head in the shower to finally remove my damn make up. I head in my walk-in closet and went to my mirror. I remove my glasses and put it in it's container and put my clothes on the basket. I grabbed wipes to remove my make up.
I look in the mirror. A disgusting bisexual scarred freak. I thrash my head around and I saw myself again...
Look at it, how did people even like you. They're probably like your money than you, you trash of human.
A tear slippied through my eyes as words enter my thoughts.
Weak.
Pathetic
Nuisance
I enter the bathroom and turned on the water for the bath tub. I slid down and hug my knees as the water enveloped me. As the water run down I unwillingly yet automatucally add the soap for the bathtub. I felt so numb. Like I just act on instinct. I looked to my left. A glass cabinet was there. I opened it.
Blades....blood.....bandages....
Why don't I... just..... I grabbed the new blade I bought before school started. I rinse myself off as the water drained. I was still in tub as the water was completely gone. I grabbed the
blade and looked at my arm that was literred in scars, cuts and burns. I look at the mirror cabinet.... my neck. It's filled with bites and hickeys. The foundation finally left my skin.
All over my jaw...and to my collar bone. It's filled with dark purple hues. I touched it...Remember where you got these? You can't say you're the victim. You did ejaculate and cum from their touch after all. You disgusting whore!
I cried and held my head in frustration. I touched my scalp. There was a hidden bump from when they pulled too hard. They thought I enjoyed it. But it's just the way the body reacts, right? Are you really sure about that? You seem to really like being rided on and tied by them. Just admit it, you're a bitch. You were tied yet you enjoyed it. You entered their holes, one-by-one, you even thrusted a few times, remember?
No! No I'm not. I didn't want it to happen. But you let it happen, right?
No! It was ..... I couldn't fight back. I can't! "Just shut up!!!" I yell as I cut into my skin. Crimson red oozes out and the cut was really deep. My skin was just soft and pale since I just bathed.
I cut more to make the voices quiet down. Each cut made them quieter and quieter.
I hugged my knees and stare blankly at the door. After a few minutes the cuts finally clotted and were closed. But if I moved recklessly I could open them easily. I stood up feeling tipsy from the loss of blood. I grabbed a bandage and wrapped it around and poured water on the tub to let the blood go in the drain and also the remaining residue of make up.
I wrapped a towel around my waist and brushedy teeth on the sink. I grabbed my blue toothbrush and add toothpaste and after that I gargled some mouth wash. I then lazily exited the bathroom and picked out some clothes in my closet. I picked black boxers and black sweat pants. I wore a black tank top not caring if anyone could see my scars nor bandages.
I put my towel away and walk in my room. I sat at the bed and looked at my bag. I was now completely numb. I trail my fingers through the fabric. It was already night. I sigh after what it seems like minutes but were actually hours. I checked the time. It's already 10:59 PM.
I glance at my room and felr my phone vibrate. It's a notification from my sister. "Shoto? Aren't you gonna eat? I've been calling you" she said.
I went through my phone and replied "Sorry, I already ate earlier before I came here. I fell asleep. I'm gonna sleep again. Good night" I sent and collapsed.
...........
Bakugou Katsuki's Point of View:
I woke up from not the alarm but the fucking vocals of my siren of a mother. She kept yelling. I couldn't damn sleep longer. I stood up and stretched first before taking a shower and eating. I brushed my teeth and wore my plain ass uniform. I looked at the tie that was hung on a hanger at my closet.
I glared at it then yell "You're just a one way ticket for getting strangled" and fixed my stuff. "Oi, katsuki! Your dad's gonna leave for work, wanna join him to go to school!" She asked. "Fine" I yell back.
I fix my stuff and took it with me, not caring how my hair looks. "Ya ready katsuki?" Dad asked. "Sure" I said. We said bye to the hag and entered the car. My dad was able to afford this from back when he was still tutoring the kid that my father called as his prodigy. I forgot all about him. I shrugged and feel the vibrations from the car and it's cold air conditioner fill me with ecstasy.
Am I the only one that loves it when the car does this? He started to drive and we move in a moderate pace. We finally arrive and I saw a limousine outside of UA. Guess who it was. Icy hot. He exited the black vehicle making our own car look like a tin can on wheels. He looked around and again he sighed.
How can one live like that? Isn't it exhausting? Like all the stares and no privacy. I decided to exit my car until dad said "He seems familiar, bye son. I need to go already" he waved bye for me. I waved back and exited the car. I raced towards the entrace until some damn extra had the audacity to touch me. It was a student from the I don't really care.
"S-sorry" he shyed away. "You better be! Scram" I yell. Then a girl came for him. "Oi! Stop that! Aren't you from hero course? Why aren't you acting like one" she hissed. I gnarl and said "Oh then why don't you just scram, fucker!" I yell and stomp away. I head in and changed shoes.
I enter my damn forsaken class and everyone stared. I roll my eyes and the damn nerd had to ruin the rest of my patience with his really annoying and really fucking disgusting attitude. "K-kachan you're late. You gotta wait for Mr. Aizawa to let you in" he said.
"I enter when I wanna enter!" I yell not really able to control my anger. My thoughts just pour out instantly when I just think for comebacks.
"B-but" he whined. "But what?!" I glare. Suddenly Icyhot tapped my shoulder.
"Bakugou, can you please tone down abit" he asked pleading while holding onto his head. I was supposed to stop myself but my damn brain and anger issues took over. "And? WHAT ABOUT MY TONE? What? You can't even take my voice. What a weakling. GO FUCKING DIE" I yell until Aizawa yelled in frustration.
"BAKUGOU KATSUKI EITHER LEAVE THIS CLASS OR GO TO THE PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE AND EXPLAIN WHAT YOU DID TO NEZU!" He yelled. "Fucking fine" I yell and I turned to leave but I saw todoroki's tear fell. He moodily walk back to his seat while gripping his hair. Shit. Fuck. Why did I do that. Dumb piece of shi- "Bakugou don't make me repeat myself" he yelled.
Todoroki Shoto's Point of View:
I know my mind already said what Bakugou said to me...but why did it hurt when it came from him? It hurts more. It stung more. It cut deeper.
Oh shut up, everything he said was true. You weakling, pussy and worst of all a waste of space. Stop breathing won't you?
I sat back down and couldn't stop myself from gripping onto my hair. I didn't want to cry here so I did that. I made it seem like I was only massaging my temples but actualy just pulling my own scalp off. I glanced up and saw Bakugou's face. Regret?
Don't be silly.... Why would he regret speaking the truth? You deserved it after all. Yeah...I did. I shake my head and lay my head on the top of my hand. I now felt numb. The numbness came early meaning i'd feel numb the rest of the day....
Perfect timing.
After Mr. Aizawa's Lecture present mic entered indicating it was alreasy his time for teaching. Aizawa nodded at mic and let Bakugou enter. Why do I even care about him now? Why did I ever stop to think he was different? Why did I think he was not like the rest that practically said kill myself without actually saying it but making me feel that way.
Why did I bother....
He sat at his seat and I didn't other looking at him. I still rested my head on my hand and waited for Present mic to start. As I can feel it, Bakugou was looking at me. I look at him and I was right. I glared at him annoyed and he gave a shocked expression. I rolled my eyes and thought "why is he surprised all of a sudden? He's acting like he didn't do anything" and focus my attention in my notebook with the notes of the theories I was studying.
Time went by and Bakugou was still looking at me with apologetic eyes. What's he doing? Maybe wasting his time on me. Because I'm just his last option. I know that in the end he'll leave or after I forgive him he'll just say to kill myself again.
Why are you offended all of a sudden? Isn't that what you tell yourself? Right now you're just being selfish, aren't you?
Fuck off!! I roll my eyes and the bell rung finally. It didn't faze me much since...well I'm still numb. I fix my stuff and put my stuff back.
I felt a nudge on me and it was none other than Bakugou Katsuki. I glared at him and removed my arm away from him.
He then asked "What's wrong?" He asked completely confused. I roll my eyes and stood up and brought my bag with me. He was following me. I clicked my tongue and headed in the cafeteria. As expected many people were there. I intentionally go in tge crowd and slither my way our just so Bakugou could lose me. I glanced back and he was gone.
I walk up the stairs to go to the rooftop. I didn't want to get annoyed right now. My anger issues my release here. And I don't want that. I took my bento and ate my salad. The scenery wasn't bad but it was so....boring.
I heard footsteps from inside the building. The creeky door flew open to meet a panting ash-blonde. I looked around again making it seem I was unfazed nor didn't acknowledge my existence....I was simply foing what he wanted me to do. To just not get into his business to appear I have died.
He sat next to me yet I didn't gave him a single glance. He nudged me yet I still looked at my food. He then got annoyed. He grabbed my arm and I pull back. I his my hiss but the pain..it was unbearable. "What do you want?" I say plainly. He had anger plastered on his face. What can I expect from a hotheaded guy?
He then growled at me "Why the fuck do you keep ignoring me?" He yelled. I raised my brow and still looked at him unamuzed with a slight mix of disgust. "The hell you looking me like that for? What did I even do? Stop being a wimp." He said.
I rolled my eyes and proceeded to not noticing him and packing my bebto box in my bag. I put the used metal black rods of chopsticks in it's container and fixed it. All of a sudden he pushed me down making me drop the chopsticks to the ground.
That triggered me. Fuck, no! Germ will cling to that. What if it doesn't get cleaned in time. Will some bacteria stay on that? Shit, germs and bacteria just needs a minute for it to spread. No..... Should I buy a new one?
My train of thought was now on Bakugou as he pinned me tighter on the ground.....wait...the ground? I squirm and feel the itch on my body. "What do you want!" I yell at him. "Then Quit ignoring me Half and half!" He yelled at me. "WHY THE FUCK DO YOU CARE SO MUCH?" I yell at him.
Third Point of View:
Bakugou stopped to think and realized he hasn't planned on saying any excuse yet. He didn't want to admit that he wanted the younger's company and enjoying spending time with him. "What?! Say something? Don't just pin me down and go silent!" The younger male said.
"What!!??!" He yelled once more. The smaller removed the grip and said "Answer me first! Why are you avoiding me?!" And then the otger snapped. "Why do you care now? Huh? Why are you all of a sudden wanting for attention? Go to your own damn friends and leave me alone" he hissed.
Bakugou Katsuki's Point of View:
Shit. I really made him mad. "I'm not! Just-" he cut me off. "Just what?" He glared. I frozed. I open my mouth to talk but he said "Stop caring. Quite engaging yourself with me when the only good you can do is remind me to die" he said and left while picking up the fallen chopsticks and bag.
I stood there, still frozen. Why did I snap at him. "Oi,.... sorry....I didn't mean it-" I was supposed to say but he then cut me off not even listening to me "Just shut up and leave me alone. I know you're just gonnaeave me when you finally got something from me" he said sadly. He wiped a tear from his unfazed and emotiobless facade.
Why did I do that?
Word Count: 3302
You can really see my desperation to finish .y life seeing how i'm already posting alot of chapters. Goobaii~