Terry
Atleast Corinne knows her boundaries. She knows how to fix things here. Kung paano ibabalik yung gamit ko. Kung ano yung gusto at ayaw ko.
That's the exact phrase that's running on my mind habang pinapakiramdam ko si Samantha sa tabi ko. She isn't sleeping. I know.
Was she thinking about Ate Corinne? Was she thinking about the things that could had happened kung wala sa picture si Aria?
Ate Corinne is the perfect one for her. And just like I have always been, I'm still an option.
Sa lahat ng magagandang damit, papipiliin muna ako ni Mama, but at the back of my mind, I know I have to choose the simple one. Yung hindi pansinin. Yung hindi ganun kaganda. Kasi ayun lang yung babagay sa akin.
Kahit sa simpleng sagala sa barangay namin, Ate Corinne will always be chosen as Reyna Elena, at ako? Taga hawak ng laylayan ng gown nya. O di kaya taga hawak ng arko nya.
Mas nauuna laging napapansin si Ate Corinne. I'm just a sidekick. Without Corinne, no one would even notice that I still exists.
Hanggang ngayon. Kung hindi tinanggihan ni Ate Corinne si Samantha, who am I? Will I be chosen? Will I be noticed?
Ate Corinne will always have choices while I will always be the unwanted option. Parang sagot sa exams. Ako na nga yung all of the above, madalas hindi pa din pinipili. Kasi everyone will always have a doubt.
Kung sa True or False, ako lagi yung False. Kung ABCD, ako lagi yung D. Madalas hindi na pinapansin at pinag aaksayahan ng oras.
So, it's okay Sam. Hindi man ako si Ate Corinne, atleast ako pipiliin kita. Pipiliin ko na maging masaya ka. If you want me to play the role of your betrothed perfectly, then, I'll do it.
Kasabay nang pagtayo ni Samantha sa kama at paglabas ng kwarto, ang sunod sunod na suwail na luhang nag-aalpasan sa mga mata ko.
Halos isang oras din yata ang kinailangan ko para makalma yung sarili ko. I covered my tears.
Sam don't have to know. I don't need her pity.
Leigh is right. Sam is nice. Sa sobrang bait nito, mas iniisip pa din nito na magkunwari para atleast kahit papaano ay maramdaman ko na hindi sya napipilitan sa sitwasyon namin. She's playing her role. Why can't I do the same? Atleast utang na loob ko man lang sa pagpasok nya sakin sa Carriedo's Group.
Last night, I saw the real her. Masakit din pala masampal ng katotohanan. Pero mabuti nga iyon hindi ba? Atleast nagigising din ako kahit papano.
Is that also the reason kung bakit itinulak nya din ako palayo matapos nung magical kiss na akala ko totoo? Was it also part of her plan? Kaya nataranta sya nung alam niyang natatangay na ko?
I smiled sadly.
It was just a mutual agreement afterall. Consider it a bonus, Terry. Atleast nahalikan mo sya ng ganun. You're still lucky.
Paglabas ko nang pinto ay naabutan ko si Sam na katatapos lang magwork out. Pawis na pawis pa ito.
Ready, Terry? Let the camera roll.
Huminga ako ng malalim.
"Ang aga mo naman gumising." Bahagyang kinusot ko yung mata ko just to make sure na walang kahit anong bahid ng luha na natira doon.
"Good morning. I haven't prepared breakfast yet. Gutom ka na ba? Give me fifteen minutes."
That's perfect! Her acting skills is flawless.
Lumapit ako sa kanya at niyakap ito kahit pawis na pawis.
"Terry, let go. Amoy pawis ako. Magpapahinga lang ako ng onti tapos maliligo ako ulit at magpapalit ng damit."
I sniffed her scent. Ahh, Sammie. You still smell so sweet.
"Hindi ka naman mabaho e. Kahit yata pawisan ka na, amoy marshmallows ka pa din."
Would I still be given a chance to hug her this close?
No, Terry. Baka pag natapos ang play, baka hindi nga niya maalala na may Terry pala. Kaya sulitin mo na lamg lahat ng oras na meron ka.
Natatawang kinalas nito yung pagkakayakap ko sa bewang nya.
"No, microorganisms like moist. They build up kapag ganito na basa yung likod at masyad—"
I leaned forward at iniharap ko ito paharap sa akin. Hinatak ko yung leeg nya. And with a tiptoe, I claimed her lips.
Her sweet tasting lips na isa na yata sa kinaaadikan ko.
Damn you, Sam. You're making me lose my mind. Why can't I just have you?
I opened her lips by using my tongue. Gusto kong tumatak din sa kanya yung halik na ito. Gusto kong iparamdam sa kanya na Pakshit sya. Hindi lang ako dapat yung makaramdam ng init. She should have felt it too.
Kung hindi pa kami mauubusan ng hangin ay hindi pa ako kakalas.
Her eyes is still dazed. Have I succeeded? Naramdaman din nya ba? Have she felt the urge to cross the thin line of having more than just a kiss?
"So how was it, doctor? I haven't brushed my teeth yet." Ngumiti ako ng pilit at kumindat. "There's microorganisms living in my mouth na napasa ko na sayo."
Sam just stared at me.
"Isa pa?" Pabirong sabi ko.
Hindi ito umimik na binuhat ako papunta ng sofa. Will we cross the line now?
To my dismay, inilapag nya lang ako doon. At gaya ng dati, planong iwanan.
"There, maupo ka lang dyan. Maghihilamos lang ako."
Cover up, Terry. Don't make a fool of yourself!
"Hala! Nabuhat mo ko, Samantha!"
Kumunot naman ang noo nito.
"Patangkad ka ng konti. Paanong di kita mabubuhat? Sa liit mong yan?"
Natatawang tumalon ako sa sofa. Can I just destroy everything in this house?
"Fudge, Terry! It's not a bed. Wag kang tumalon dyan. Masisira yung sofa ko."
Imbes na tumigil ay nang aasar pa ako lalo. How many times are she planning to humiliate me?
"Lapit ka dito, dali! Buhatin mo ko hanggang sa kusina." sabi ko pa.
She raised her fist.
"Oo na. Nakikita ko na yang maskels mo na nagtatago. Dali, halika na dito."
Kapag napapahiya ka, just pretend innocent. Just pretend you didn't get it and just laugh. It always work for me.
"Dali na, Sam!"
Naiiling na nilapitan nya ako as she motioned her back. She's offering me what I just deserve. Not a bridal style lift, right? Was she reserving it for someone? Pathetic , Terry. You really are.
"Ayoko nyan. Gusto ko yung buhat mo sakin kanina."
"Ayaw mo?" she raised her brow. "Fine. I'm not that willing though. Walk your way. May paa ka naman."
"Samantha naman e!"
Again, she motioned her back. Nakasimangot na pumasan na lang din ako.
"Pwede bang sa countertop ako?"
"Hindi pwede. Hindi inuupuan yan. Baka masira."
"Granite yan, Sam. Masisira?"
"Fine!"
Buti naman kahit paano ay pinagbigyan nya din ako. I'm tired losing.
Ito naman ay dumiretso sa sink at naghilamos. Pagkatapos ay uminom ng tubig.
"What do you want to eat, Terry? Magluluto na muna ako bago ako maligo."
"Gusto ko ng sinangag. Saka sunny side up eggs. Pati tuyo at pritong dilis."
Napaangat yung tingin nito sa direksyon ko.
"I don't have it, Terry. May iba ka pa bang gusto?"
Meron pa ba?
Oo, I want her. I want her ng buong-buo. But she can't give it right?
"What is it? I do have meat and chicken here. Kaya nga lang nagchicken na pala tayo kagabi. Do you want salad or vegg—"
"Ayaw."
"Okay, so anong gusto mo bukod dun sa sinabi kong wala?"
"Ikaw."
"Were you asking kung anong gusto kong lutuin?" takang tanong nito.
"No. I want you. Halika muna dito. Payakap muna ako."
That makes Sam smile.
"Come closer, Sam. Pakiligin mo muna ako. Umagang umaga e."
Natatawang lumapit ito at pabirong binatukan ako. Nakangiting niyakap ko naman sya.
Just this one. I deserve this one. Eto na nga lang yung consolation ko e. Ipagkakait ko pa ba sa sarili ko?
"Sam?"
"Yas?"
"Nagseselos ako kay Ate Corinne." Mahinang sabi ko. I want to know her reaction.
I felt her froze. As expected.
Kakalas sana ito pero niyakap ko lang sya ng mahigpit. I don't trust myself not to melt under her gaze.
Maaawa na naman sya. Iisipin na naman nya yung tama. Kahit magsinungaling ito basta wala itong masaktan. Will I be able to live with comforting lies?
Buong buhay ko na nga,laging nadadaan sa awa. Pati ba naman sa lovelife? Jusme! Terry. Gising gising din. This is not a fairy tale.
"Huwag ka titingin. Nahihiya ako."
Sam stayed still.
"Bakit laging seryoso ka at plain lang sa mga pictures na nakadisplay doon? Tapos nakangiti ka naman doon sa picture nyo ni Ate Corinne? Pareho pa kayo ng suot na jersey?"
She took a deep breath.
"Lahat ng pictures na nandon, I'm dead tired. Yung sa pictures namin ni Corinne, that's the day Aria left her."
It's my turn to froze. Was it because she had the chance to take care of Ate Corinne while Aria was gone? Did she planned it?
"Kaya masaya ka?"
"No. We won the volleyball game against Aria and Grant. Alliston made it possible."
"Alliston?"
"Yung babae that I was leaning on dun sa group picture namin. That's Alliston."
"Oh, yung babaeng mas maganda pa sayo?"
"Is she? Akala ko pa naman ako na pinakamaganda sayo."
Tinapik tapik ko yung likod nya.
"She's prettier than you, accept it. First runner-up ka lang sa mga mata ko."
I heard her laugh. It's okay for her. It's okay because she don't care about what I think about her. Who am I anyway?
"Pero ako ang pinakamalakas ang appeal, Terry. Admit it."
"Slight." Jusko! Nadadala na naman ako ng usapan.
"Huwag mong ibahin yung usapan. Jusko ka talaga, Samantha! Napakagaling mo!"
"Sinagot ko naman a. We won the volleyball game that's why I'm smiling."
"You told about the day Aria left Ate Corinne. Is that what makes you so happy?"
"No, I'm just fascinated at how things turned against two people in love. I know Aria loves Corinne that's why she left her. And I see how broken Corinne was when Aria left her. Isn't how fascinating true love works? Parang may sariling story line. I'm fascinated at how perfectly every scene was made to make a perfect ending in the end. "
Natahimik ako. Why is she good at playing with words? Bakit parang lumalabas na sinadya nya iyon? Is she really that stupid who will do everything for the girl she loves? Does she love Ate Corinne that much? Too much that the only way is to cover up the pain she's feeling and pretend that it's really nothing.
Just like you, Terry.
"So you're not in love with Ate Corinne? "
Please tell me that you were, Sam. Please kahit ngayon lang. Maging honest ka naman.
"No. I like her but I don't love her."
"E bakit ka nagpropose sa kanya? Sa mismong birthday mo pa at sa harap pa ng madaming tao?"
Sam chuckled.
Just like you, Terry. She'll just laughed it off too. Does it always work for her too?
"Because I'm crazy?"
Hinampas ko yung likod ni Sam. She don't have to pretend that everything is okay when she's not. Am I loving her all this time knowing that she's also like another version of me? Kaya ba naakit ako sa liwanag nya? Misery loves company yung peg namin ganun?
"I've hurt Aria before Terry. Too bad that she started thinking that she've lost her heart. She gave up her eight-year long boyfriend just to choose me over him."
"Bakit?"
"I've seduced Kiel on the night that Aria was planning to give herself on him. Simply because I know Kiel isn't worthy for that. Good thing that Grant saw us. Ayun, nakaligtas ako. But Aria was deeply cut. Imagine her spending half of her life with a guy who can't be faithful to her. Tapos ako pa yung involve. "
Natawa ako. A very typical Sam. A perfect friend who'll always be there to shield everyone kahit ito pa yung masaktan. Kahit wala nang matira dito. That's the reason why she can't fall in love. Dahil wala itong pwede pang ioffer sa taong mamahalin nito.
"Baliw ka talaga no?"
Tumawa lang ulit ito.
"That's why I gave Aria her heart back on that night, Terry. I gave Corinne the name that no one can grant her. She's the only woman who had turned down a Callaghan. That's enough reason para tanggapin ng pamilya ni Aria si Corinne. Just so they could have a happy ending. "
Lalong humigpit yung yakap ko kay Samantha. She's telling me now the code. I should live up with it.
Corinne will always be the only woman who turned down a Callaghan.
Sam already gave it to Corinne. Her name and her undying love.
May laban pa ba ako doon? Just like I've always been, I'll stay like that. An option. Sam is paying me dearly with her kindness so I have to pay her back.
"Sa susunod wag ka masyadong magpaka-hero, Sam. You deserve to be happy too. Hindi ka shield na sasangga lang ng lahat ng sakit ng mga kaibigan mo. Someday, someone will see you like you're the only person on earth who matters. Save yourself for that someone. "
"Do you believe in undying love, Terry?"
Now, she's telling me about it.
Sasagot sana ako ng tumunog yung cellphone ni Samantha.
"Wait a minute." She leaned forward to give me a slight kiss. Kumalas ito sa pagkakayakap ko at chineck yung phone nito.
After few seconds, her smile vanished. She's back to her real self in just a blink of an eye.
"Terry, My Grandpa is already home. He's expecting us for dinner."
Doom, Terry. Patapos na ng play. The curtains will be dropping soon.
****