chapter thirteen: what if i came over?
TUESDAY NIGHT. For the first time in a year, I worked from home. I woke up feeling poorly and figured that everyone took a sick day from time to time, so what should keep me from having at least one?
I didn't want to admit it to myself, but I was starting to think that subconsciously I had made the decision to stay home in hopes to also avoid Luke for at least one more day. My anxiety had gotten the best of me, and I couldn't fathom seeing him after our fight the day before. I really wasn't sure how I thought things would turn out and I was especially unsure of how I wanted things to turn out.
It was already about ten o'clock and I was starting to think about going to bed. Madalyn had taken a nap around six and had yet to emerge from her room, so I was thinking she was either about to have the best night's sleep ever or she would end up waking up in the middle of the night and be forced to stay awake until the morning. Either way, I had no reason to stay up any longer, even though I felt like talking things out with someone.
I had finally decided I should try to get to sleep and reached my hand toward the coffee table, in search of the remote. However, the buzzing of my phone sparked my interest and stopped me from doing so. I grabbed my phone and looked down at the screen. Immediately my heart began to race; Luke had texted me.
I rolled my eyes and tossed my phone to the side, not wanting to deal with him this late. Luke was not the person I wanted to talk about things with. I successfully grabbed the television remote and turned off the tv before grabbing my phone and making my way to my room. Just as I turned the lights off while I was leaving the living room, my phone buzzed again and I glanced down to see another text from Luke.
I didn't even bother to read what his texts said—I locked my phone and kept walking. I plugged my phone up before leaving my room and heading toward the bathroom, to wash my face.
Just as I had brought the towel to my face, after rinsing off my cleanser, I heard my phone begin to ring from my bedroom. My eyes rolled, but I found myself hurrying to finish up in the bathroom before rushing to my room and grabbing my phone.
"Hello," I answered flatly as I brought the phone up to my ear.
"Josie," Luke let out a sigh of relief and I breathed in deeply as I waited for him to say something else. "I know you might not want to hear it, but could I please apologize for yesterday? And this past weekend?"
"Sure," I said, finding myself worthy of an apology.
"Not texting you this past weekend was sucky of me—I knew that it would probably make you upset, and I'm sorry for doing it anyways. I was honestly having a bad weekend and I barely spoke to anyone, but I know that's not a good excuse. If I could take it back and do it over again, I would have reached out and let you know that I was going to take the weekend for myself. I didn't act very considerately and that's what I want to apologize for. I also take back all the dumb shit I said yesterday. I thought the tweet you sent me was worth a really good response... but I couldn't think of how to respond and it made me feel insecure. I didn't want to say something stupid that would've ended the conversation because I really enjoy talking to you, Josie. I genuinely get so happy each time you text me because I simply want to be talking to you all the time."
"Luke, I wish you had just said all that yesterday—"
"I know, I'm an idiot. I have a couple more things to say... can I say them really fast?" I laughed quietly at Luke but urged him to go on.
"When I kept saying all the wrong things yesterday, I felt defeated and I felt like there was no way of getting myself out of the hole I had dug, so that's why I left. Part of me was hoping you'd follow after me or something, but I quickly realized that I was stupid for even thinking you might. If you had, I wouldn't have deserved your effort. I was being a jackass because you were right and I was in the wrong. I am really sorry, Josie."
"Luke... it's okay." I decided that I wanted to forgive Luke. Despite my feelings of anger, I had missed him all day and I was hoping things would be okay between us. However, I was starting to think that we should think about ending things between us. I just wasn't sure if I was made for something like this.
"I know you're going to hate me for asking, but could you maybe come over?" I scoffed and pinched the bridge of my nose as I tried to process what he had just asked.
"Is that the only reason you apologized, Luke Hemmings?" My blood had started to boil all over again as I realized he could've just told me everything I wanted to hear for his benefit.
"No! I promise. Josie, I just want to see you. I'm not asking you over like that," Luke clarified and my eyebrows furrowed. I was surprised to hear that he wanted to see me, casually.
"Luke... I don't know—it's late. I don't want to drive. We'll see each other tomorrow." I heard Luke let out a sad sigh that caused me to bite my lip. Part of me wanted to see him as well, but there was no way I was leaving my apartment just to see Luke and eventually get reeled in by his charm. "I'd like to see you too, but it's just not realistic for me to leave my place."
"What if I came over?" As the words left Luke's mouth, my eyes widened and my lips parted. I had not expected him to ask me such a thing. "I seriously just want to see you... no funny business. I just want to make sure things are actually okay between us and I want to apologize to you in person. You deserve that much. Please?"
"Luke... you're sure you want to come over here?"
"Yes, Jos." Luke laughed as he delivered his response and I couldn't help but continue to feel surprised by his suggestion. "Would that be okay?"
"Uh—yes." I finally made a decision and nodded my head just for extra emphasis, hoping I'd start to realize what I had actually agreed to. "I'll send you my address."
"Okay," Luke said, a smile clear in his voice. "I'll be over as soon as I can, okay?"
"That sounds good," I told him even though I was nearly about to explode. "Let me know when you're here, okay?"
"Okay. See you soon, Josie."
"See you soon, Luke." I ended the call and immediately threw my phone down on my bed before rushing out of my room. I had wanted to tell Madalyn, but after remembering she was asleep, I didn't want to bother her. I realized that I had forgotten to actually send Luke the address, so I stepped back into my room and found my phone before sending a quick message.
I walked out of my room, my phone in hand, and walked to the kitchen. I was feeling nervous and I was craving a glass of water, so that's what I obtained after making my way to the fridge.
I couldn't believe Luke was on his way over.
I figured he would leave after an hour or so, so I decided to tidy up the living room so that we could sit in there for the time being. Once I was done, I sat down and tried to ease my mind as I finished the glass of water.
I had completely zoned out by the time my phone buzzed and brought me back to reality. I looked down at my phone to see that Luke had said he was here. I walked to the front door and opened it, waiting patiently for Luke to come down the hall.
He emerged about a minute later and I couldn't help but smile as I saw him, but I tried hiding it. As he looked up and made eye contact with me, a large grin immediately found its way onto his face.
"Culley," he greeted, sending me a nod.
"Hemmings," I replied as I looked up at him the closer he got. "Can I help you?" I joked and he rolled his eyes playfully before stopping right in front of me. "You had something to say to me?"
"I'm sorry, Josie." I nodded my head, appreciative of his words.
"You're forgiven... for now." I stepped to the side and opened the door wider, making room for him to step inside.
"So, this is your place," Luke said as he stepped inside and began to look around. "This is really nice."
"Thank you," I said as I closed the door behind us. "It's no bachelor pad."
"Is your roommate here?" Luke asked, suddenly becoming intrigued.
"Yeah, but she's sleeping," I told him and he nodded slowly, understanding that he probably wouldn't be seeing her. "How was your day? I thought about coming by your office before the day was over, but Emma told me you didn't come in."
"I woke up feeling a little under the weather, so I just decided to work from home today. But it was a good day," I told Luke as I led him further into the apartment, to the living room. I invited him to sit down and we both took a seat on the couch. "Do you want anything to drink?"
"No, I'm okay," he promised with a smile.
"How was the office? And the rest of the crew?"
"It was fine," Luke told me with a shrug. "We were only there for about two hours today, and we didn't have to go in until late. I spent most of the day thinking about you, though." I furrowed my eyebrows at Luke's remark and he scratched the back of his neck before beginning to explain himself. "I was scared I had really messed things up," Luke told me. "Josie... I really should tell you something. I've been thinking and I think that I—"
"Oh my fucking god." I physically jumped at the sound of another voice and looked over my shoulder to see Madalyn. She was wearing her robe and her hair was messily in a bun on the top of her head. "Oh my god."
"Oh, shit," I cursed as I suddenly stood up. "Um—Mads, this is Luke! Luke, this is my roommate and best friend Madalyn." I bit my lip as I continued to watch Madalyn and I was praying that she wouldn't faint or freak out.
"It's really nice to meet you," Luke stood up and extended his hand out over the couch. I watched as Madalyn calmly took a couple of steps forward and shook Luke's hand.
"It's really nice to meet you, too," she said, suddenly sprouting a wide smile. "God, I'm sorry—I'm a really big fan, so this is just... insane. But I don't want you to feel strange! I can go—"
"No, please! Join us," Luke said, clearly interested in getting to know Madalyn. "Thanks—for being a fan, I mean. That probably sounds weird—I just appreciate it, is all."
"No, thank you. I mean... you guys have been releasing banger after banger. I really think you guys are great," Madalyn said and then immediately made a face that, to me, screamed I hope that didn't sound stupid. "God, I'm going to sound crazy... but could I have a hug?" Luke let out a small laugh but nodded eagerly before meeting Madalyn halfway as she started to come around the couch. They hugged and Madalyn took in every second—I could tell she was relishing in it. The sight made my heart skip a beat; I hadn't seen this side of Luke. I had never seen him encounter a fan before, but I found it to be cute.
"Josie told me you've been to a show."
"I've been to three shows," Madalyn corrected.
"Oh, that's awesome," Luke said, a smile still present on his face. "I hope they were worth your time."
"Yes, of course! My boyfriend and I have been fans since high school, so we try to get tickets whenever we can." Luke glanced over at me and I sent him a smile as they continued to have a conversation. Eventually, they sat down on the couch. "Howie is stoked at the possibility of meeting you." My eyes widened after Madalyn spoke and I watched as Luke's eyebrows furrowed. "I mean... he would be stoked to meet you! He would freak if he knew I was meeting you right now." Madalyn tried to play it off and Luke seemed to let it slide, but I knew I would have some explaining to do.
"Maybe you and... Howie?" Madalyn nodded as Luke looked for assurance and he continued. "Maybe the two of you could come down when we're working one day, and you guys could hang out for a little while?"
"Oh, I wouldn't want to be a burden—"
"No, I'd love it if you did," Luke promised and Madalyn smiled before nodding. "I'm sure the boys would love to meet you all, too." Madalyn glanced at me and bit her lip gently.
"I would love it if we could do that," Madalyn told Luke, nodding eagerly. "I should leave you guys to it—I didn't even mean to disturb you two. I had no idea you were coming over."
"Don't worry about it," Luke said, shaking his head. "I was hoping to meet you." I could tell Luke's words had excited Madalyn and I knew she was screaming on the inside.
"I've been hoping to meet you, too," Madalyn responded before standing up. "It was really nice meeting you, Luke."
"You too, Madalyn." Madalyn sent a small wave before she disappeared and I let out a small laugh as I looked back at Luke.
"That was sweet of you—thanks."
"Don't think you're getting off the hook, missy." My eyebrows furrowed and Luke sent me a look—suddenly I remembered that Madalyn had thrown me under the bus.
"Okay... I've been meaning to bring this up, but I just didn't know how." I could tell by Luke's demeanor that he wasn't upset, but that he was not against making me feel bad about it.
"Well? Let's hear it," he said, shifting over on the couch so that he was closer to me.
"The night I told Madalyn, I also told my friend Jenna—I didn't want to tell you that, because I was afraid you'd freak out that I had told two people. But then... they told their boyfriends, but that was before they knew we had decided to continue things! But then Howie was over when I went to your place on Friday... and I couldn't lie to him," I explained as quickly as I could. "And Emma knows."
"Emma knows?" Luke asked, his eyes widening as he genuinely seemed surprised. "Are you serious?"
"I thought about keeping it from her, but it didn't feel right! Plus, you came into our office not bothering to lower your voice, so she would've become suspicious anyway!"
"You're sure she won't say anything to anyone? Or slip it into an article?" I could tell that Luke was genuinely worried.
"No, Luke—she wouldn't do something like that. Seriously... we have nothing to worry about." I was hoping Luke would take my word for it, but he continued to seem concerned.
"I knew she was acting weird on Monday. Did you tell her about me not texting you back? She seemed mad at me." I laughed quietly at Luke's questions and I was hoping that answered his question. "You're trying to get me in trouble, aren't you?"
"Oh, of course. That's my goal," I joked and Luke sprouted a smile. "I have to have a couple of people to rant to, okay? They're trustworthy people... it's not every day you go around having sex with a guy you don't have feelings for, so I need all the advice I can get." Something changed in Luke's expression as I spoke and he remained silent, but I wasn't sure what had changed. Trying to make sure I hadn't said anything to upset him, I continued. "And please don't think it has anything to do with me spreading the news that I've slept with a celebrity... I don't care about that, that's not all that you are to me. I just always have to talk to my girls about guy stuff and this agreement between us is a special case." Luke never perked back up. "So, uh... where were we? You were saying something before Madalyn came in?"
"Oh," Luke's cheeks turned a subtle shade of pink as he thought back to what he was saying earlier, and my eyebrows furrowed. "I can't even remember honestly. I'm just glad that things are okay between us."
"You're sure that was it?" I asked him, wanting to make sure he wasn't keeping anything from me.
"Yeah, of course," he said, nodding his head. "I guess I should head out... I'm sure you want to get some sleep."
"You don't have to," I told Luke, not wanting him to rush out the door. I was more than happy to have him over for longer. "You can stay for a little while longer, if you'd like."
"You sure?" Luke asked and I nodded my head.
"Here, I'll give you a mini tour of the place." I stood up and extended my arm, waiting for Luke to grab my hand. He smiled before taking my hand in his and pushing himself up from the couch. First, I took him back the way we had come in and to the kitchen.
"Ooh, this is nice," Luke said as he walked around. "You think I could cook you a meal or two in here?"
"Be my guest," I told him as I walked over to the island and rested my elbows on it as I leaned over. "You actually think you'll ever come over here again?" I asked Luke, genuinely curious.
"If you'll let me," Luke said, sending me a smirk. "I guess I should see the bedroom first."
"Oh, fuck you," I said, laughing quietly as I shook my head at him.
"Seriously... I'd love to come over here every now and again. My apartment gets boring easily. And I don't have a roommate to keep things interesting." I shook my head in amusement and Luke smiled before turning away from me.
"My room is sort of small—Madalyn has the master bedroom. We have a guest bedroom, too, and it's bigger than mine... but I like the size of my room. It's comforting." Luke seemed intrigued and I smiled as I held out my hand again. "Wanna go see it?" Luke nodded before taking my hand and I led him back through the apartment, past the living room, and to the hallway where my bedroom was. I opened my door slowly and led Luke inside.
"Hey, it's cute in here," Luke said as he walked to the middle and spun around slowly. My bedroom was by far my favorite place in the apartment, a close second to the kitchen, and even Madalyn had admitted her adoration for my room before. I had the best window in the whole apartment, and I was sure that's what made it such a nice room. The people that lived here before us had made it into an office, but once I saw it empty, I knew I wanted it to be my bedroom. "My bedroom feels so empty compared to this."
"That's because your room is huge," I said as I passed Luke and sat down on my bed. "I like my little room."
"I like it too," Luke told me as he took a seat beside me, closer than I had expected him to. "God, I still feel like such a jerk for yesterday."
"Luke, it's okay. Just don't you dare do it again," I threatened which caused Luke to laugh, but he nodded to show that he understood I was being serious. I once again found myself thinking I should tell Luke that I thought it might be best that we stop things, but being so close to him made me think the exact opposite.
"I'm excited for next week—the segment we're going to do with you," Luke suddenly changed the subject and I became interested.
"I haven't heard about it yet," I told him, honestly. "I have a meeting about everything tomorrow."
"It's going to be fun," Luke promised as he bumped his arm into mine. "I still can't believe how all of this has happened."
"What do you mean?" I asked Luke, laughing quietly.
"Before you told me where you worked, I genuinely figured I'd never see you again... but I'm so glad that things happened the way they did. Doesn't it just seem kind of funny to you? Somebody was hoping we'd get to know each other." I couldn't argue with Luke's words, but I laughed as he looked up toward the ceiling, as if that somebody existed up there.
"Were you hoping you'd never see me again?" I asked Luke, mostly joking with him.
"I already told you how I had hoped for more time with you when I met you... I spent most of my time thinking of ways to ask for your number while I fell asleep." My cheeks crimsoned as Luke spoke and I turned away in hopes he wouldn't notice.
"I don't mind if you take your shoes off, if you want to get more comfortable." I pulled my legs up onto my bed as I sat criss-cross and Luke didn't hesitate to kick off his shoes and scoot further onto the bed, until his back was touching the wall. "You know... you could stay the night, as a friend."
"As a friend?" Luke asked, laughing quietly. "Friends don't sleep in the same bed, Jos."
"We're bad at being friends, Luke... it's our brand." Luke laughed quietly which turned into a quiet hum and I smiled at the noise. "It's like a sleepover."
"You really want me to stay?" Luke asked me and I nodded slowly.
"Only if you want to," I told him, fidgeting my thumbs. "I mean... it's late and you're already in bed... why complicate things?"
"I'll stay," Luke told me, letting out a quiet chuckle as he nodded his head.
"I'm gonna go lock the front door, okay? I don't think I did earlier." Luke nodded his head at my words and I made my way off the bed, walked out of my room, and rushed to the front door. I locked it and immediately rushed back to my room, not wanting to leave Luke alone for too long.
"No funny business?" Luke asked as I walked back into the room and I shook my head, wanting him to know nothing would be happening. I closed my bedroom door and told Luke to turn the lamp on that was by my bed before I switched the lights off.
I walked back over to my bed and got under the covers. I was especially tired by this point, but I was ready to stay up for however long Luke wanted to.
"Are you tired?" he asked me and I slowly shrugged, not wanting to immediately tell him that I was. "Let's just go to bed, yeah?" I didn't argue with him—instead, I nodded my head, which caused him to laugh. Luke got off the bed and shimmied out of his jeans before crawling into bed beside me.
"This is going to sound so dumb, but I think I sleep better when I fall asleep with you." My heart pounded as I admitted this to Luke and I hoped he didn't get the wrong idea from my words. My back had been turned, but I rolled over to look at Luke after a couple of seconds of him not responding.
"That doesn't sound dumb," Luke finally said, his voice barely coming out louder than a whisper as he looked at me with a sense of surprise.
"Could you turn the light off?" I asked Luke and he nodded before reaching over and turning off the lamp. I gently grabbed Luke's arm and took it with me as I turned back around, guiding him to wrap his arm around me. He closed the space between us as he fully pulled me into his chest and I breathed in deeply as I accepted the contented feeling that I was immediately given.
I didn't know what it meant for this to feel so right with Luke, and I didn't know why I appreciated his company so much. But as I closed my eyes and sleep started to take over, all I could think about was how much I adored the feeling of falling asleep in Luke's arms.
a/n:
hehehe hmmm what did y'all think???
;)))
ok i have nothing to add ab this honestly. i am just v excited to read ur comments !!!
thank u all for reading !!!
much love !!!
jill