Chapter 34: Don't Underestimate Me
That night, I woke up. I was unable to sleep. Close my eyes. I kept tossing and turning every second. It was still storming outside. Due to the storm that happened. We're not going back home until tomorrow. So I'm definitely going to be making up my exams for tomorrow that I'm supposed to take.
I heard the rain outside the windows just pouring down. And I gasped, sitting up in my bed unable to sleep. So I suggested on going downstairs to get some water. I needed to do anything to make myself sleep. So, I got out of my bed that wasn't my own. And so I left out of my room, closing the door. And then I tip toed down the creaky stairs. I entered the kitchen and I got a glass, running the faucet sink and filling up the glass. After I turned it off when half full. And I heard the silence until a crackle, thinking the fireplace was left on by mistake. I poured my glass out and I left the glass in the sink.
I went into the sitting room, seeing the fireplace on and Christopher sitting on the floor looking at a paper. And it seemed important. I was only dressed in my white t-shirt. And when I joined him, I wondered what was there for me to see of him. Christopher was silent. And he was staring at the fireplace. And so I didn't waste my time to sit down next to him. And of course, the sitting room is so big it was like we entered a mansion. And it was all too much to handle in the silence of nothing but the cracklings of the fireplace.
"Hey," I said, sitting down next to him. And I could tell that he had so much on his mind or just something on his mind. And the way he was silent, it was just not him. And there was something I needed to figure out. "What's wrong?"
He sat back a little bit, and I just stared at him, seeing the paper in his hands. It looked important.
"I have something to tell you." He said, with his voice low in spite of the loud heavy rain outside.
I breathed, fighting the anxiety of it was either good or bad. And I just wish people wouldn't start sentences off like that. Because it makes me worry. It gives me anxiety. Even if I'm in my best. Dad always says things like that to me and it's no wonder I panic a lot.
"Okay." I nodded.
"You know I applied for Hastings? And I am just waiting to get an acceptance letter?" He reminded me, which I was very clear on remembering.
"Of course." I answered. He sighed, looking down at the letter in front of him. "Christopher, what is it?"
He smiled looking at me. "I got in."
His voice was extremely soft when he spoke. I felt extreme excitement. And I felt nervous because I wasn't sure if this is what he truly wanted. To go to Hastings. But Christopher has all the grades and he didn't get into a fight while being at Crawford High. So he has the scoring grades to get in. Or else he wouldn't have been accepted into such a good law school. And I was beyond happy and grateful to hear him spread the news to me. And suddenly it was all there. But I was there, just thinking of the future to that. The future of Christopher and I. He would go to college by the fall. And he would go off and we'd text and talk for weeks and see each other every weekend if he wasn't busy. And it would turn into a dream. And it would happen and go on until I graduate high school and become an adult. And it would finally break out that Christopher and I are together. Our parents would accept because we would be adults. And our lives would go on that happy adventure. The adventure of our lives. The life of commitment. A world of the water where we'd travel and kill for our love.
"Emma," he said, snapping me out of my thoughts and back to reality.
"I'm sorry." I said, thinking of the daydream I was in but trying my best to remember where I was in the reality.
"I said I got into Hastings." He replied.
I got closer to him of the excitement of that he will be happy. I was now right beside him, and he knew I cared for him. And I cared about his happiness.
"I'm so happy for you. This is good news. Why didn't you tell me before?" I chuckled, only knowing he got this letter weeks ago but just let me think he didn't hear back.
"I wanted to tell you at the right time. And I guess telling you after breaking up with April would be the right time. But I want to make sure your okay with me going to college." I said, looking at him in a way that I glanced back at him, taking his hand in mine.
"Of course I'm okay with you going to college. I just want you to be happy. I want what's best for you. I'll miss you because we won't be in the same town. But we can text and see each other on the weekends. But Christopher, I want you to be happy. That's all." I admitted.
Christopher smiled at me. He placed the letter down beside him. And he faced me, and in that moment I just looked right into his eyes that looked nervous as also excited.
I knew Christopher very well. I knew him long enough to know what he liked and didn't like. And I knew him well to study everything about him. I knew him from the inside. The outside was a mask. And it wasn't what you see. It's just him not being who he is. But that mask doesn't exist.
I took his hand, holding it, and we both stared into each other's eyes. And there is definitely a lot being seen in him. This news seems like a lot. And it definitely is something that made a strong impact on him. And what do I know? How do I know? What do I do about it?
"Christopher, what is it?"
He sighed, running his fingers through his hair. "Going into college like this isn't how I expected it."
I was curious what he could have possibly meant. He's not proud of going into college? What went wrong that it's not what he expected?
"I don't understand." I muttered.
"When I'd go off to college I expected to have my dad in my life. To have him right there. I expected to see him right there. To be so proud of what I'd work for. Because of me my dad couldn't go to college like he wanted. And it's all my fault." He said, his voice was breaking and gentle of the emotions falling through to him.
I shook my head, grabbing his hands. "Christopher, it's not your fault."
"Yes, it is. If I wasn't born when I was he would have gone to college and he would have been a lawyer. But because of me he did a job by saving people and then look what happened. That's my fault too. Everything that happened to him is my fault." He said gently, sobbing very softly.
He needs to know it is not his fault that his dad didn't go to college to become a lawyer. His dad did what he did because he felt it was right. He couldn't go to college while Colleen was in college. So he just became a fireman. And yes, that job killed him. But it's not Christopher's fault he died. Christopher was eleven years old. He was a child. What could he have done or changed it?
I ran my hand up his cheek, stroking him. I wanted him to lean on me. Trust in me. And believe every word I say.
"No, everything he did was because he loved you. He was strong, I know. And when you graduate and go to college and follow in his footsteps and be what he wanted...he will be right there beside you." I told him, feeling my heart hammer into my chest.
I know that Christopher can do anything that his heart desires. I love knowing he is going to a college for a career he deserves. And just in the silence, I caught his tears and my forehead pressed against his. I told him everything would be just as it should be. I felt the rhythm of his heart. And it was silence between us. And I slowly embraced him, letting him embrace me. Putting his trust in me just like I always wanted.
He just started crying and I let him cry on me. And he was right there on me. I didn't let him go. And he cried every tear from his body while he sobbed so hard on me. I told him it was okay and that he could just let it out. And so he did. And I didn't let go of him once.
"It's going to be okay." I whispered.
I had to be brave and think positive. And so I did. I brought him close to me by the neck and I pecked his lips. He was slowly allowing me to do so. I kissed him harder now and he groaned against my lips and I knew he was wanting this. I moved my hands up his sides and very slowly he bit my lower lip. I honestly just felt in content with him. His hands were cupping both sides of my face. I smiled into the kiss and my thoughts were going wild and insane.
I need him to see how sorry I am. He is the only person I want. He grabbed me by the waist and I straddled his waist and I kissed him hard and not backing up from him. I kissed him like I never wanted to let go. 'Cause I didn't. He stared into my eyes once we broke the kiss.
"What?" I asked once he pulled his lips from mine, staring into my eyes.
"Tell me you love me." He murmured softly under his breath.
A small smile came across from my face and I reached my hand to the back of his neck and I pulled him in, kissing him with no regret. And I saw his gray orbs and how beautiful he is to me. I took off his shirt and he chuckled lightly as I kissed his collarbone sliding my tongue up to his neck kissing on his Adam's apple. He groaned from the pleasure I was giving him. His hands were on both sides of my hips. I pulled his head back towards me.
I groaned against his lips and his hand held underneath my chin to pull me in to kiss his lips nice and gentle. I smiled once we pulled our lips away, breathing. I loved feeling his arms around me. He had took my t-shirt lifting it off over my head and I was only in my bra and panties now. I kissed him back firmly this time. I was just so innocent with him. But I felt in content when I'm with him. He grinned seeing my reaction once his lips kissed my jaw.
I moved my hands in through his hair and I was breathing heavy, hot and thick against his neck unable to control how I was feeling. I smiled at him for a glance moment and then I felt him pick me up in his arms and he carried me over to the other couch and he lied me down gently. I wanted nothing but to hold him against me. I want him like this all the time. When my head hit the pillows on the cushions and then he kissed me quickly and his kisses went too fast for me to keep up with him. He then took me off of the couch and carried me onto the floor and he lied me on my back on the floor by the fireplace.
We didn't turn it off 'cause it was kinda peaceful. Beautiful and romantic with the fire going. I had relaxed my shoulders and he brought his lips to my neck and my back arched from the feeling once his lips pecked down my neck, chest, torso to my happy trail. I groaned softly from the feeling of his lips. My hands in his hair, pulling. I stared at him and it kinda made me feel like he didn't love anyone else but me.
"I love you, Christopher Greyson." I softly breathed into his ear, kissing him.
He smiled. "And I love you, Emma James."
Gently I sat up, rolling him over on his back so I was hovering on top of him and I kissed him fiercely that he moaned. When I pulled my lips away he breathed. I then kissed down his torso and down to his navel and he released a shakily sigh of pleasure. I looked at him and his neck arched and gently I kissed his earlobe causing his eyes to roll back and he groaned. I stared at him in a great pleasure as I began to just grind up against him and he instantly became hard.
He rolled me back onto my back and he kissed the crook of my neck getting to my weak spot. I put my hands in his hair, pulling then felt his hands gently pull my panties down and he pecked my navel gently. I thought I might lose it 'cause I felt exposed to him and gently I helped him pull down his sweats with his boxers and I opened my legs to pin up against his hips and I felt him take his member stroking it up and down against my sex. And he stared at me with desire and lust.
I moaned throwing my head back as he stroked up and down against my sex. And very gently...so gently inside me. When I felt him inside me I gasped, holding onto his shoulder and he hovered over me as I cried onto his shoulder, grasping onto his back in pleasure.
"Please," I begged for him. "I need you, Christopher." He had thrusted inside me and I moaned with every thrust. "I need you harder!" I cried out.
"Oh my god, yes." He groaned breathlessly and he thrusted into me and I leaned my head back, grasping onto him with my cries and plays for him.
I honestly couldn't hold back my moans and he knew it. He covered my mouth with his palm as he thrusted very very very very slowly into me. I breathed against his palm unable to resist him. The feeling of him inside me felt so good. I loved him doing it slow. So gentle. He respected me his god he does it all. I cried into his hand from how good he felt. And how he could be so well to me interested me. The fire kept crackling and kept going. I needed him every moment 'cause this is how well I wanted.
He kissed me as he thrusted into me gently. I couldn't stop the desire that was boiled inside my body begging to leave and give it all to him. And seconds came around and he didn't quit doing his work. He then left a bunch of love bites on my body marking me as his girl. I was his all along. April was never his. It's just me. I'm the one he wants and loves. We have falls all the time. But I guess with any kind of lovers it's always toxic. But we can get through it, I'm sure. With his boiling body against mine, I brought my hands down to his hips holding I'm there with my legs pinning round his waist as he kept gently thrusting into me. His hands moved behind my back, pulling on my bra unsnapping it by taking it off and then he takes off his sweats completely and he continues to thrust into me gently.
He pinned my wrists next to either sides of my head as his lips pressed to mine, colliding his tongue with mine. My heart began to race. I felt the urge of myself to convulse around him. Jeez, he does it so well and slow. I can hardly breathe and I felt the sweat begin to mist over our bodies. His breathing was very erratic and he kissed my lips long and hard in order to quiet me up from moaning. He groaned in my ear and his eyes were a darker shade of gray. I couldn't get enough of this. I needed every bit of it. From the feeling I couldn't lose how high I'm at. But I didn't. I moaned throwing my head back. He braved the side of my head as I felt him go in and out of me. I groaned from the feeling and we both were breathing together rapidly.
"Oh my god, Emma, your gonna make me come." He moaned loudly, breathing right into my ear.
I moaned into his neck unable to control this feeling of pleasure. I want him inside me all the time and I can't even explain it. I am going to scream to a climax. But he quickly sealed his lips over mine to quiet me and in seconds I was releasing around him.
"Please please please...don't stop. Don't stop." I whined, pulling him in hard close to me while he thrusted inside me.
"Oh my god," he breathed heavily.
It took him time for him to catch his breath and I shook from the feeling my toes curled at his sides. He stayed inside me trying to get a hold of his breath. He crashed down on top of me. We were both sweating and breathing loud and heavy after coming down from our highs. I ran my fingers in through his hair and he moaned from my fingers feeling so good. He lied his head down on my chest.
He couldn't believe how high we were. I couldn't stand the fact that how he can give into me but be upset and mad at me at the same time. He gave it up to me. And our breaths became one. I became entwined in his embrace. We took the cream colored wool blanket over us.
I embraced him and his chest was hard like stone. Maybe his heart was made of stone. I smiled leaving plenty of pecks across his chest like I was an art brush painting him as the art. He was stroking my hair and this moment made me feel so strong, alive and happy with him. My fingers interlocked with his while lying with him. The sitting room was so dark except the light coming from the fireplace brightening it all up. I was warm with my naked body right next with his.
"Have you ever thought about what it's like to die?" He asked me, moving my hair behind me as he stroked my long hair and I was holding my fingers with his, interlocked.
His question shocked me that my heart stopped. I couldn't believe he'd ask me that. Does he think about dying all the time? I assume that dying to him is nothing. But why does he talk about it so much? I only cry to want to know why he asks about dying. But he mentions death all the time. A lot of people seem to die around him. His father and Maya. Two important people died who he was close with. It seems he's seen a lot happen around him. I can't even imagine what he went through losing his dad. And watching his dad. He lost Gina in a way he didn't deserve. His best friend stealing her away and then she left. And he ghosted Gina like she's dead. But it seems like people hold her back and it's a place in his heart that he loves a lot of people. He loved Maya. But he took her wishes and kept her secrets that her drunk boyfriend was beating her. But she deserved better. Like Pricilla deserved better than Harry. How in the book he practically was hitting her, punching her and kicking her all the time. She should have left with her son from Harry off of that island.
When I think of Pricilla I think of Maya. They both went through a lot. There's certain things that just can't be made like secrets can't be told. I guess Christopher and Gina knew that so they kept Maya's secret. I think Christopher just cried about everything that happened to her. Does he dream of her? Maybe Maya visits him in his dreams now and then and in a way if he haunts him. But if she visits him what does she say? What happens? What are the conversations they have in his dreams? What are the places he goes with her? I didn't lose my mother like how he lost his father. But importantly does his father visit him? I wanna know more about his dad. But I won't pry 'cause I'm not gonna for r him like April did on Christmas. But there's so much I wanna know. But his father is not one of them I'll ask.
"No. I love life. I wouldn't give it up unless it was for someone else. I'd give my life up for anyone." I whispered to him and he chuckled my breathing was calm for once.
"Sometimes I used to think of dying. I wanted to do everything I could to unite with my father and Maya." He said.
I looked up at him and I couldn't believe what I was hearing coming out of his mouth. He really is obsessed with death. More like a confusion. And I couldn't understand any of it. It's like he was under a spell to die.
"Christopher, why do you talk about death so much?" I pleaded to know.
"Have you ever missed someone so much you feel like you want to be a part of the afterlife yourself?" He whispered dryly.
I ran my fingers through his hair. "No, I haven't. You are alive. And I need you. So you are not dying anytime soon. Not on me your not."
He lightly chuckled and then I placed my lips on his and he relaxed into the deep kiss I gave him. I looked at him and I nuzzled my nose to his. And I gently kissed it. He wrapped his arms around me like he couldn't keep his hands off of me.
"I love you." I murmured under my breath.
"Don't underestimate me." He shook his head.
He brought my lips to his and he kissed me joyfully and with the big passion he had I enjoyed the kiss. My body was still on fire from him. And I giggled smashing my lips back against his. I didn't want to stop loving him, touching him or kissing him. He smiled against the kiss and I loved feeling him and he passionately showed the love I never want to forget or let go. He is possibly everything to me. And I lied on top of him as I began kissing him madly.
~
The next day everything picked up nicely. The rain stopped. And it was not storming like a bitch. When I got up, I headed to take a shower. So yes, after what happened between me and Christopher we lied there which seemed like forever...we eventually went to our rooms. And so waking in my room, I got into the shower. And after getting in the shower, I got dressed in my floral shorts and my white tank top. And I had towel dried my hair and I had tied it up. My hair was out of my face and I had then put on very little makeup.
And I had started packing since mom told us we'd leave right after breakfast. So, I had taken my suitcase packing everything inside it. I took my phone leaving it out. And I took every book, every last thing I brought with me into the suitcase and I just had brought my suitcase and phone down with me. I made sure I was completely organized.
When I entered downstairs, I immediately went to the coffee machine, pouring myself a cup of coffee. Mom wasn't downstairs yet. I left my phone on the counter. And the first thing I did was I had gone upstairs to her room but I knocked at her door. And I knocked, and when she opened the door, she was dressed in her purple fluffy bathrobe. Her hair was damp still from a shower.
"What is it, Emma?" She asked me.
"Do you want me to make breakfast or are you going to?" I asked.
"Honey, I'll be right down in fifteen." She promised.
I nodded and then I had entered back down into the kitchen. I decided on sitting down, sipping my cup of coffee. And I just sat there in silence. Mom came downstairs eventually and she made breakfast and while she was in the middle of making breakfast, Christopher came down into the kitchen getting his own cup of coffee. He was dressed in khaki shorts and of course a plain maroon t-shirt. And he looked so gorgeous and I just stared. And he knew I had stared. I distracted myself by drinking my coffee.
By the time breakfast was made, the three of us sat together and we just talked. And it had been a long time since I spent a long time with mom. For so long I have been just spending it with dad and Colleen and that sucks. Dad calls him, Colleen, Christopher and me; a family. But we're no family. Mom isn't in the picture. And dad let our family fall apart. Especially when he let mom walk out on us.
After breakfast, we had packed up the car to get ready and get back to Santa Monica. And so mom had the car started, and we all through our bags and suitcases in. And right then I had gotten to the car with my phone in my hand and I got in the car, followed by Christopher. Mom then had locked up. And then we got on the road, driving down.
The entire ride back, I had witnessed Christopher just staring at me. And I saw how he couldn't keep his eyes off of me. And it was nice to see the guy I am truly in love with...is staring like I'm chocolate. Or a candy you get on Valentines. And he truly had an obsessed stare on me. And I was taken away by it. And I loved it, and I loved it as grateful it is. And I loved Christopher. But with my book in his hands, he had smiled, reading which he looked like he got very far. And so it will definitely come to an end for him that he will definitely be unable to resist of how the ending is.
During the ride, I got a good view of many sights of what California is. And I just smiled. But it took three hours due to the traffic. And then we returned to the driveway of the house. I think Colleen is at work and dad probably went into the hospital early at like four. And so, then she pulled in, setting the break.
"Hey you guys...I just wanna say I had a real nice time with you two." Mom said, a smile on her face, her car in park.
"Yes, we did too." Christopher responded to mom's enthusiasm. "We should do this again sometime."
"Yes, we should. Real soon, I hope." Mom nodded.
"Well, thank you." Christopher said.
Christopher had then gotten out of the car and he took his suitcase and my duffle bag with him. But of course, I stayed with mom for a bit and I watched him head right into the house, unlocking it with his key.
"Emma," mom began. "I just want you to know if you ever need anything. Remember... I am only a call away. If your dad bothers you...you just call me. Okay."
"Thanks mom. But I'm too focused on my finals I don't think he'll be a problem right now." I chuckled.
She grinned. "Okay honey. At least give me a hug before you leave."
I embraced her, and it was the longest hug I had ever been in. And I just was so glad that I had my mother so close by to me. Even though she lives in another town. But eventually we will be much closer once I graduate from High school.
"I love you, mom."
"Oh I love you too, honey." She hummed in my ear.
After the moment of our embrace, I got out of the car and I closed the door and I waved to her. And as soon as she pulled out of the driveway and down from André Drive. And then I felt my phone buzz and I saw it was a text from Mandy.
TEXT FROM MANDY:
Home Sweet Home 💛
A/N:
Hey guys it's Emily! I hope you
Are enjoying the story so far? Cuz
I'm enjoying it
xoxoxo
More is on the way. So stay tuned
My angels. There are 6 chapters left.
Who is counting down with me?
If you liked this chapter please vote on this! And comment on what you think and gimme your predictions. 🔮
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