Cole
I woke up to the smell of breakfast cooking downstairs. It made me smile because it brought back memories of my childhood in this exact loft. But, that isn't what awakened me from my sleep, it wasn't Cecil III playing Just Dance in the living room either. What woke me up out of my reoccurring dream was this anxious feeling in the pit of my stomach. It didn't feel bad like something was wrong, but I was definitely being warned about something huge coming. I laid in bed watching the clouds through my window when there was a knock at my door.
"Yeah?" I sat up in the bed making sure I was covered since I sleep naked.
"You up yet? Chey made breakfast. And I wanna chat witchu ." It was Cecil.
"I'm up, give me a second." I ran to my closet and found some sweats to put on and a tshirt. As soon as I was clothed I opened the door to let him in. There was something different about him. He seemed to be excited about something. He walked in and closed the door behind him before making himself comfortable on my bed. He laid back staring at the ceiling with a smile on his face.
"You didn't have sex in my house did you?"
"No. Even if I did though, I'm grown nigga."
"So What you so giddy for then?"
"I'm taking my son and Cheyenne to Africa tomorrow. I finally get to show them why I've been gone bro."
"Why have you been gone?"
"I was working on something. I came back home because I thought it fell through. I didn't want to waste anymore time on it."
"So..."
"I got a call this morning. Nigga, I made shit shake. I got land, a big ass house, an office building, employees... shit, I can go on and on and on just know that I ain't dust in the wind no more nigga, I've finally settled in the best sense bro."
"Damn, I'm happy as fuck for you CJ. You know momma would be proud of you. I'm proud of you."
"Thank you baby. I really fucked up for leaving so I really hope she's watching us now. Me and you, we doing big things baby boy."
"I know she is CJ. But I hope she ain't too mad about what it took for us to get here."
"You such a buzzkill Cole. Really?"
"Hahaha I'm just saying bro. But it's a good ass day and we gone keep it that way." Our momma used to say that to us whenever something small tried to ruin a good day like a argument or bad traffic on the freeway. He smiled at the comment probably thinking about the last time he heard the phrase.
"Cole, I been thinking. I know you're all alone out here now, so I was wondering if you wanted to come with us? You don't have to stay or anything, you know... just come for like a month or so-"
"Are you serious?"
"As a damn heart attack baby brother. You coming or naw?"
"Yeah bro. I'm in."
This must be the big news I felt I would get this morning. Cecil and I made our way downstairs to eat breakfast. I sat at the table and watched as Cecil pried C3 away from the Nintendo switch. The two of them and Chey joined me at the table. Chey says grace and we dig in to the meal she blessed us with. But, as I raise a fork full of Eggs to my mouth, the anxious feeling returns heavily in the pit of my stomach.
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After eating breakfast, Cecil jr, C3, Chey and I are sitting in the living room watching the Aladdin Live Action when my phone rings. It's my manager. I answer the phone while getting up from the couch and walking out to the terrace.
"Colin, big fucking news! We're in!"
"In what G?"
"We're going on Tour! It's three months long , we're leaving tomorrow morning , it's short fucking notice but whatever you got going on is simply not as important. Pack your fucking bags and meet me at the office at 7pm tonight!"
"Damn G. Catch your breath and let me think about this shit!" A moment of silence passed between us while I thought and Geoffrey caught his breath. "Fuck. That shit is crazy G. I think you fucking with me man. I must be dreaming or some shit. There's no way G."
"Listen. You got six fucking hours to think about it. If you're as smart as I think you are, you'll be sitting at my desk in my office in six hours signing paper work and collecting your plane ticket. I got other shit to do now, so I'm hanging up."
Oh Shit!
"OH SHIT!"
"What? What happened?!"
"I'm going on tour niggaaaaaaas!" After celebrating with Cecil, C3 and Chey, I knew I needed to call Cobe and share this news. He and Oz helped me get this far so it's a win for them too. But then I thought, Oh naw, this shit gotta be said in person. So I got dressed and made it to Cobe's place as quick as I could.
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I opened the door to hear cussing and yelling coming from Cobe's room. I peeked my head around the threshold of his room and heard Cobe say,
"So you don't want me no more? You just done? Just like that?"
"I'm not leaving you Cobe. It's just a break. I gotta stay away from you."
"But why?! Im not the one who shot you Lonnie."
"No shit Sherlock."
"You fucking playing right?"
"No, I gotta stay the fuck away from you. That's just how it is."
"I thought you love me."
"I thought you loved me?"
"I do love you."
"Then why has it been so hard to reach you?"
"I just needed some time."
"I don't deserve that Shit Kwabena. Don't give me that shit. Just be honest with me."
"I'm so fucking lost nigga, what's problem Lonnie?"
"Damn, Kwabena. You not listening. Shit."
"Why you acting like this Lonnie? It's always been us. You never use to care what else was going on. You said it'd always be us."
"That was before your boyfriend shot me while you stood there and watched nigga. I tried, I really tried to give you the benefit of the doubt. But, now, I don't know. I just can't take no more chances."
"Who been in yo ear Lonnie?! Why you acting like I set you up or some shit?"
"I ain't say that. That's not what I'm saying."
"Then what the fuck are you saying then Lonnie? I fucking love you, you know that shit."
"But you love that Arab nigga a little bit more. Otherwise, you would have stopped fucking with him when I told you he wasn't good for you."
"I did. I did. I broke up with that nigga, you know that shit baby."
"Hey, I'm not trying to hurt you. And I'm sorry it gotta be like this aight. You know how I feel about you, But until all this shit calms down, I just can't fuck witchu. I gotta keep my distance, for my own good baby."
"He ain't even around no more Lonnie. I swear I haven't seen or heard from him since."
"That's good for you Cobe. But it ain't that simple for me, I got a target on my back nigga, so I gotta keep my head down. You not fucking with him no more ain't enough, it's already a war now nigga. I step anywhere near you, no doubt that's my ass."
"No"
"What you mean no nigga? He wants my blood, you can't handle that shit. You couldn't pick a side, So stay the fuck away from me Cobe. Take care of yourself aight. Now... I gotta go. I love you."
He looked up at me and said, "woah Cole. You scared the fuck out of me.", through his tears. I walked over to him, holding him and wiping his tears away.
"What happened? You okay?"
"I'm stupid as fuck."
"What's going on? What happened?
"He think I set him up. He blame me that he got shot."
"How could it be your fault though?"
"They had beef before I met Mo. I swear I didn't know that shit. I ain't even know Mo had a brother."
"Mo and Lonnie are brothers?"
"No. Lonnie shot Mo brother."
"What?!"
"No.... he didn't shoot him, but Mo family thinks it was him. So Mo been out for Lonnies blood for like two years. Lonnie think me being close to Mo gave him a chance to get him."
"Hold up Cobe what?!"
"Lonnie been telling me to leave Mo alone for so long, but I ain't want to."
"Then he got shot?"
"Yeah..,"
I said nothing, raising my brows scrunching my face.
"You think he's right?"
"It just seem like a lot of people was warning you about Mo."
"You... you, you, you blaming me too? Y..you sitting here with me taking everyone's side but mine?!"
"Cobe are you fucking kidding me right now? Im just tryna help you see nigga!"
"You sound like fucking Oz. I swear to Gooooood, the next person to say they was looking out for me, I'm rocking they shit!"
"You really buggin Cobe. I ain't come here for this shit. And I can't believe you disrespecting Oz like that after everything. Have you even spoken to him since?"
"The FUCK would I do that shit for Cole? He said he don't wanna see me no more."
"You need to go talk to him bruh. You his only kid, that's your only father. After everything, you owe him at least that nigga."
"He don't want me around."
"GO TALK TO HIM."
"Why?"
"Oh myGod Cobe?! After everything you really talking like that?"
"After what? After he blew my shit in for being gay?"
"C'mon man. It wasn't about you liking niggas. It's the type of niggas. Your standards-"
"My fucking standards? Yeah.. yeah you right nigga. My standards must be mad fucking low for messing with you."
"Oh wooow? So it's about me now?"
"Yes nigga. You bad fucking luck." He didn't stop there, but that's where I tuned him out. He went on and on about everything that's happened since I first came around. And on he went until he reached the day we first kissed.
Apparently all his shit started going haywire the second he started having feelings for me, which allegedly happened far before that first kiss we shared. I ruined his life, but that's what I do. That's my nature, my energy, my curse. It's fucking bullshit, but I always knew it was true.
"Here's your key man. I don't need it no more."
"That's for fucking sure. Shit! Fuck you Cole. I fucking hate you for real. Damn. I really wish I never met yo Black ass."
"I bet you would never say that shit to the nigga who pistol whipped your stupid ass."
"Fuck you! You don't know shit."
"I know you a bitch. I know you stupid as fuck and you let niggas do whatever the fuck they want with you. You probably still in his bed even after that stupid shit."
"Fuck you! Bitch ass nigga. You ain't shit Cole. You ain't ever gone be shit. You come from nothing bruh, what the fuck you think you gone become? Some big fucking star?"
"Nigga. Shut the fuck up. I'll blow yo shit in for real. I'm not even who you fucking mad at. You need to redirect that shit to them niggas who tried to kill you on your own fucking porch dumb ass."
"Get the fuck out of my apartment Cole. I'm done with yo stupid ass. Emotional ass bitch. Just get the fuck out bruh."
"What the fuck." I mumbled to myself massaging my temples and gripping my phone tightly in my other hand. "I don't even know why you kept me around as long as you did since I fuck up everything for you. Seem like you needed me more than I needed you."
" The fuck I need yo dumb ass for?"
"Is this all a big fucking joke to you nigga? One nigga stop fucking with you cuz YOU almost had him killed and now you just gone throw away every other nigga on yo life?"
"No, it's just you. You fucked my life. I don't need you no more."
"Maaaaan." I had to restrain myself from taking him up against the wall by his throat. This nigga is really fucking my patience. "You can't see past your own bullshit."
"Get out nigga."
"You not the only one who suffered from the shit we was doing nigga! I had a fucking chance to get back with Jill and you wrecked that shit for me! But you ain't even know that shit because it's my fault too! Nigga I ain't do shit to you. We did that shit TOGETHER. I've never done anything like what we was doing, so YOU fucked my fucking life if anything. Turned my shit upside fucking down bruh. But you know what? I'm used to that shit. I'm used to shit going bad for me, and I'm used to people throwing me out like fucking trash. That's my fucking life. And you know what, I'm glad your spoiled ass finally get to see what the fuck I feel like twenty four fucking seven."
"I said I don't want you here no more. I don't want to ever talk to you again either. You can forget I exist stupid mutha fucka."
"Aight bet. I ain't gone be around no more anyway. I came over to tell you I finally got a tour. It's what I've been dreaming of since my first mixtape. You was there through it all, and I wanted to share that shit with you. But Fuck You Kwabena."
"I'm happy for you."
"I know, I'm happy for you too."
"For what?"
"No more distractions from me, You can focus on yourself now. I'm gone. For real. "
"Go then Cole. I don't care."
I just look at him with a tight jaw. I hope he's just saying that because he's mad because he's really my best fucking friend. I'm tired of losing people. I'm tired of getting thrown out like fucking trash.
"I'm dead serious nigga. Get out."
"I'm leaving tonight."
"I don't care nigga, go"
After leaving Cobe, I sat in my car lost and confused by what just happened. My first instinct was to call Dame, but I'm not supposed to tell Dame anything about me and Cobe. Of course the thought crossed my mind that if I'm done with Cobe I'm done with his rules too, but I operate off trust. If I break our code, I'll never get him back.
A/N if you like classical music, go listen to Moonlight Sonata (Beethoven) and understand why I named this chapter after it. It's three movements, about 16 minutes long.