Sunday, December 15, the loft, 7 pm
School sucks enough as it is.
But when the week consists of exams only, it is utter hell.
In moments like these I totally agree with Rene's epic rants about royals having to attend school. I mean, what is the point, really? It is not like we will EVER have a 9 to 5 job. Who would employ us? With all the formal events we have to attend EVERY WEEK we would spend way more time on planes than sitting behind work desk. Who would want to have an employee that is never there? It is kind of like Henry from Grey's Anatomy who was always on sick leave because of whatever-disease he had.
Then there's the constant attention of the paparazzi. Does a company really want somebody whose face is on Teen People and Us Weekly on weekly bases?
Conclusion: Royals are basically unemployable.
So why do we have to endure endless hours of Maths and Chemistry and all this if we will spend the majority of our time planning and attending charity events? Wouldn't it be better if we avoided all this stress (really. My face looks so much older this week. Is this good promotion of Genovia, Grandmere?)?
Dad says education is important because it broadens our mind. He insists that the more I will know the better I will rule in Genovia.
Which is a totally failed argument now that Genovia is democracy. Although I am not totally sane the majority of time, I am sane enough not to run for any kind of position in the parliament. I love Genovia too much to expose it to my irrational judgments.
Though I still think the parking meters are a great thing.
And the snails were the right decision.
And recycling bins did a lot of good for the environment,
After people leant how to use them correctly, I mean.
Mr G just came to my room to check if I was studying. He frowned when he saw me writing in my diary.
Hello? I am studying, just having a short break? Trigonometry is killing my brain cells and I am sorry because I wish to enjoy their company for a bit longer?
Oh, I forgot. Mr G doesn't understand that too much math equals biological weapon of neuro-destruction. How could he, he is a mathematician? Seriously, Mr G is a really cool guy and all, but why couldn't Mum get knocked up by someone who is more into social science?
Look who's complaining, the chick whose boyfriend has been on the other side of the world for over a year building a robot.
Irony, you really want to be my friend, don't you?
Monday, December 16, the loft, 4 pm
Dr K is, as usual, completely unsympathetic of my problems. He says I actually stopped fussing over things I cannot change but instead I started creating problems in my mind. Since Lilly is basically saying the same thing, only calling it 'a pathological need to dramatize my life', I am seriously scared there's some truth hidden in there.
Even though it is not true. I HAVE problems, many of them! I don't know why everyone thinks my life is so glamorous and perfect. Just because I don't go on and on about all the troubles in my life anymore, it does not mean they are not there.
You see, the thing is ... I can't really talk about my problems to anyone. Because ... the majority of them aren't problems but ... lies.
Mia's List of Problems
1. My boyfriend is in Japan and he has been there for over a year
2. I haven't seen my boyfriend since June. That's more than 6 months.
3. I am going to Genovia in a few days where I will be spending my Christmas break. Not a big thing, everyone says since I have been doing this for the past four years. Yeaaaaah, but during those holidays a certain person wasn't coming home for the first time in months.
4. Exams are happening this week.
5. My SAT scores. Enough said.
6. Dad wants me to give a speech in Genovia (hmmm... I think the gene for not learning from your previous mistakes runs in the family. It is making me feel so much better. Kind of). They are opening an animal shelter and since it was the project I was working on during the summer holidays, I kind of understand where Dad is coming from. I just don't understand how come he doesn't take my speech skills into consideration.
7. Grandmere has been torturing me with dreadful princess lessons as a retaliation for me attending all formal events during summer alone. She actually had arranged me a date, a guy from England named Andrew, but after I discovered that he didn't like girls and encouraged him to come out, he packed his bags and went back to London to live with his boyfriend. Grandmere thought me being alone was a very bad promotion for Genovia (still not bad enough to let me bring along Harry. Or Rene) and she interpreted Andrew's coming out as me ditching her plans and being rebellious. For someone who is such a skilled manipulator she is totally taking everything too personal.
8. Paparazzi found out about my new hairstyle and now I cannot hide anymore. THEY ARE EVERYWHERE AND I LITERALLY MEAN EVERYWHERE. Last week, I went bowling with Harry, Sebastiano and Rene. Somehow reporters found out and actually played right next to us. Next morning every newspaper in Eastern USA ran an article how terrible Princess Mia is at bowling. I do have to say though, they are remarkably good when it comes to disguise. We had no idea who they were. Or should I say, I had no idea. Rene was too drunk to be aware of anything. Harry was flirting with a waitress and Sebastiano kept making sketches for his new line (yeah, and still they all beat me at bowling).
9. Grandmere has her eyes on the Norwegian banker again and now she wants me to 'socialize' with his nephew (a rich and spoilt kid who lives on a yacht somewhere in the Caribbean) so that 'the families will spend some time together' meaning the banker will be reminded of her existence. Yeah, Grandmere has been dumped for the first time and is not taking it well. Question - why doesn't she just have him killed? It would save everyone so many nerves.
10. Lana and Tina keep setting me up with guys so that I wouldn't go to the Winter Carnival alone (what's up with people not understand the word NO?). It is partly my fault, I admit. I mean, it is not like I ever told them I ALREADY HAVE A BOYFRIEND. Which reminds me ...
11. I HAVE A BOYFRIEND BUT I CANNOT TELL IT TO ANYONE BECAUSE OF ... WELL, BECAUSE NO ONE WILL UNDERSTAND. I mean, it's not like it bothers me, you know. It is my life and I don't really care what anyone thinks. But ... it would be so much easier if I could just go to the top of Empire State Building and scream I AM DATING MICHAEL MOSCOVITZ AGAIN AND WE ARE IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU THINK SO JUST SHUT UP. I mean, Grandmere would have a heart attack if she found out I am with Michael again.
Though ... that would solve so many of my problems.
12. Fat Louie hates me. After I went to Genovia for a week in November to attend 'national emergency' (believe it or not, it was not caused by Grandmere), leaving him in the care of my mother, I came back to find out that somehow my cat lost a few pounds. Mum said 'he was on a diet' but I don't think a diet should result in a cat looking emaciated. Louie has still not forgiven me for leaving him to starve. Yes, my own cat hates me. So why does Dad want me to give a speech about animals? I am clearly not capable of taking good care of them.
13. The fortune teller lady that told me I would marry a farmer. I KNOW IT DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING BUT I STILL CANNOT GET IT OUT OF MY MIND,
Really. How can Lilly or Dr K say I have no problems? I am not insisting that my problems are the worst in the world because they are not. I know billions of people have bigger problems than me but that doesn't mean that my life is totally perfect.
And yeah, I admit, I might be exaggerating a bit. But then again, I totally scored 85% on 'How Neurotic Are You?' test. It is not entirely my fault.
Tuesday, December 17, after History Final
Mia, you will LOVE Scott! Well, I don't mean like LOVE LOVE but he is such a cool guy! You will like having him as your date for the carnival, you'll see! We'll have so much fun!
Here we go again. Mia's potential boyfriend #7... or is it #8? ... I got lost counting already.
While I appreciate your and Lana's effort, I think I will pass, Tina.
NO, YOU WILL NOT! DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG IT TOOK US TO FIND YOU A DATE?
Tina, if I truly wanted to go with someone, I would ask Harry. Or Rene.
Though I don't think they would like to go. Given that there will be no unlimited alcohol. But even if they agreed to come ... Rene gets rather irrational when under influence and I don't think I could handle that amount of embarrassment.
It is not because of ... You Know?
Sex? What would sex have to do with anything?
If this is what she is referring to? And she usually uses 'You Know' for sex.
Which is rather cute. She could totally use a Rene for a cousin.
But I better go with a neutral response.
What do you mean?
You Know ... three years ago, at Winter Carnival you and Michael ... You Know.
Oh my god. The only thing worse than discussing possible boyfriends with Tina is discussing my TRUE boyfriend with Tina. Because ... she still doesn't know Michael and I are back together.
I must say I am proud of myself somehow I manage to hide my goofy grin every time she mentions him.
She will totally kill me after she finds out.
No, it is not because of that. I just don't see any point in dating for the whole sake of dating. I am perfectly happy alone, Tina.
Thank god I have a feminist for a mother; I know everything about women being perfectly happy without a man.
I am not saying that you are not happy ... but going out from time to time wouldn't hurt, you know. And it has been a long time since you and Michael broke up. I am sorry to tell you this but ... things have changed. Michael is not here anymore, for all we know, he might be dating someone.
Oh, Tina, he totally is dating someone.
ME!
But of course I couldn't tell her that.
Who knew lying about having a boyfriend would be so tough? Especially considering he is on the other side of the world and we kind of cannot get busted or anything.
I know. But I don't really have time. Remember my SAT score?
Thank god for my lying skills. I don't think I could pull this off without them.
School is not everything, Mia.
Oh, I know it is not but what can I do if my boyfriend is in Japan? Should I seek more of Grandmere's company? I am sorry, but I am not that insane.
Besides ... the thing that is keeping me cooped up in my room is not directly connected to school. I mean, yeah, my novel is my senior project but ... I am writing it for myself. I would still work on it even if Mrs. Martinez didn't let it count as my senor project.
Look ... I know that you truly loved Michael but .... Some relationships are just not meant to be. I mean ... YOU KNOW! It hurts and it is sad and unfair but it happens. All you can do is move on. You should move on. You have to give life a chance! Look –
**Tina's List Of Characters That Lost Their Love but Moved on and were Happy in the End**
1. Rose in Titanic. She lost her love but moved on with her life, had children and lived to the fullest.
2. Holly in P.S. I Love You. She was heartbroken after Gerry died but in the end she realized there is still beauty in life and she has to hold on to the hope of better future.
3. Gray in Catch and Release. She too realizes she has to let go of her dead fiancé and move on.
4. Pretty much everyone in The Holiday
5. Peter in Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
6. Ted in How I Met Your Mother. Hello? The break up with Robin messed him up but in the end he found his One True Love! The Mother!
7. Cristina in Grey's Anatomy after Burke left. And she is with Hunt now. Somewhat happy, I think.
8. Elle in Legally Blond. Remember, if Warner hadn't dumped her, she would have never met Emmett!
9. Rory in Gilmore Girls after the Jess drama. Look what she accomplished afterwards!
You see, Mia, there is life after a break up. Besides, do you remember ME after Dave dumped me? I thought I could never be happy again yet ... now that I have Boris, I am the happiest I have ever been!
Oh my god.
That's all I'll say.
All this lying is emotionally draining.
Where's the bell when you need it?