After Queen Esther left Kai, he went to his house, knowing the princess wouldn't want his presence.
He laid on his comfortable bed, thinking about everything Queen Esther had said.
He was so confused. He finally admitted to himself that he cared for Katherine but what did that change.
He was still a former assassin who could flee the castle at anytime with or without permission.
He was still broken from the loss of Mara. He felt admitting to himself he had feelings for Katherine was a betrayal to Mara.
And Katherine was the princess of Arocelli. He was not a Prince or lord. He was a man hell bent on revenge.
But the Queen was right. He needed to speak with the princess.
Kai snapped out of his thoughts to find it was already night. Past eight to be exact. Estella had dropped a tray of food for him some time ago. Now it sat on the living room table, cold.
Kai put on brown pants and a free black shirt. It was cold outside but most times it was as though he was impervious to it. He wanted to be as comfortable as possible.
He didn't carry heros, but instead settled for daggers he hid in his boot.
Then he went to the Princess's house.
Kai made to knock on the door but the two guards who were always there blocked it with their bodies.
"Sorry guardian." one of them said "the lady princess instructed us to not let you in." The guard did not look Kai in the eye.
Kai often wondered what rumors went around the castle that made him so uncomfortable to be around. Well except Sebastian who's form never wavered, even under his intense gaze.
He looked at the two guards. Knock them out? No. That wasn't the most reasonable option.
"The Queen asked me to check on the princess." Kai said. The guards shifted uncomfortably on their feet.
"I wonder how bad the punishment for disobeying a Queen's order is?" Kai said, folding his arms.
"Oh well." Kai said, spreading his arms wide and then dropping them. "I guess you'll find out."
Kai made to turn when the other guard spoke.
"Umm, Guardian...Umm, I suppose since it's an order from the Queen, we can't stop you." The guard said while the other nodded his agreement.
"I'm glad you think so." Kai said, then knocked on the door. Julia opened the door less than a minute later. Kai thought he would have to explain himself but she just waved him in.
Kai stepped into the foyer and Julia led him to the living room.
"She's in her bedroom." Julia said, then silently left the house. Kai guessed Julia was close enough to the princess to sense something was wrong.
Kai walked up to the princess' bedroom door and knocked on it. There was no reply.
"Hey Katherine." Kai said.
"Go away Kai." was the princess' reply.
"Can we talk? Can I come in?" Kai asked. She didn't reply.
Talking wasn't his strong suit. Fighting was more like it. But he'd make this work.
"I'm coming in now." Kai said, and then in a bold move, opened the door and walked in. Katherine's bedroom wasn't what he expected.
It was painted a soft cream, the bed wasn't overly large but seemed decent enough, there was a plush rug on the floor, just next to the bed, that looked so comfortable he could lay on it. And there were books everywhere. On a table in a corner, on the floor, on her bed.
The room didn't look dirty, it just looked more like it had a personal touch. Kai was oddly amused, and was almost comfortable till the Princess' flat tone spread across the room.
"I don't let anyone touch my room." she said. Her voice was so flat that Kai felt sad for causing that. She was always full of spirit, and it was contagious.
She lay against the headboard of her bed wearing baggy white pants and — Kai's shirt? It was large on her. He recognized the shirt because the picture of her in his room the morning she wore it was permanent in his mind.
Her hair was loose, spread wildly behind her. She had a book covering her face.
"You look comfy." Kai said. She looked at the shirt she was wearing.
"The shirt was comfortable." she said simply "and how did you get in here anyways?" She asked. She hadn't looked at his face since he came in. He wanted to scream for her to look at him.
"The guards understood." Kai said. He was still standing at the door that was now closed behind him.
"What do you want Kai?" Katherine asked.
"I just want to talk." Kai said
"We're talking aren't we?" she replied
"Katherine look at me." She didn't lift her eyes from her book. "Kat." he said in a pleading tone. She then lifted her eyes and her impossibly blue eyes met him.
Only for the first time, they were dull. Sad. Then she turned it back to her book.
Kai walked up to her bed, the thought of him being the cause of that dullness pushing him. He sat across her, one leg under him on the bed and the other on the floor.
She didn't mind. He then took the book out of her hands and dropped it on the bed. He stared directly into those impossible blue eyes that were now welling up with tears.
"I overreacted." she said, a tear ran down her cheek. "And now I don't even know why I'm crying." she said and laughed humorlessly.
Kai put his hand to her cheeks then rubbed some tears with his thumb and put it on his eyes. She shook her head and tried her possible best to conceal her smile.
"Has anyone ever told you how beautiful your eyes are? They match the sky when it lights the purest of blue." Kai said, and truly he meant it.
Katherine blushed, but she didn't hide her face. She looked at him directly and confidently. She liked to do that, look into his eyes, and he liked to look at her ridiculously beautiful eyes too.
"Sky." Kai said. "I'm going to call you sky when we're alone from now on."
Her brows lifted, as a real smile began to play its way across her lips.
"I'm totally better at names than you are." Kai said, plastering a smug look on his face.
"No you're not." she said. Yes. He needed her to play along.
"You wanted to name my horse Kai junior." Kai said.
"Well it's a decent name." she said, almost laughing.
"I don't think I want a horse going around bearing my name. It's ridiculous. And besides why didn't you name your horse Katherine junior." Kai asked
"Well now that just sounds ridiculous." Katherine said.
"Oh really?!" Kai said, and then she began giggling. And then Kai was laughing. Then after a few seconds they were silent again.
"I care about you too Katherine." Kai said. Her eyes met his. "But you're the princess of Arocelli. You've got to have a relationship with some nice prince or lord somewhere. I'll just be another distraction. One that will bring you hurt eventually."
"Let me decide if I want to be with some lord or prince somewhere Kai." She rested her head on the headboard and closed her eyes. "I didn't plan to feel this way about you, but I do anyways." She lifted her head again and looked to Kai.
"I'm bad news." Kai said. It wasn't just about the fact she was a princess. It was his past. A past he could not share with her, because then she would hate him. And she would possibly be in danger too.
She took one of his hands, leaned in and looked into his eyes.
"If bad news makes my day feel so good, then I want it everyday." She said.
Kai couldn't stop his eyes from going to her lips. If he leaned in another inch, he could claim those soft, faint pink, luxurious looking lips. His palm in hers, her skin against his. He was losing restraint.
Then she looked at his lips, and that was all the approval he needed. He leaned in and kissed her. She almost immediately opened up for him. He had started the kiss but he let her lead. Because she needed to feel in control of something.
She explored his mouth with her tongue. Then she cupped his cheek as he put his hand to her waist. Then she was kneeling on the bed. Kai groaned as the kiss became more feral. She echoed it.
Then she was pulling him to the bed gently without breaking the kiss. And soon he was on top of her. She ran her hands down his chest and bicep. Her breast pushed against him and she was grinding against him.
She was going to drive him mad. Her body was perfect in form. Did being a princess automatically make you a perfection? She was luring him and was slowly reaching the hard of him. It took all his strength not to grab every alluring part of her too.
Instead he stopped.
"Wait wait." Kai said. They were already panting.
"What?" She said, her need visible. It was so pleasing how feral she looked at this moment.
"I don't want to do this with you right now." Kai said.
"Are you sure? You look like you want to eat me." she said with a teasing smile.
"Well you look delicious." Kai said. She grinned and wanted to kiss him again. "But..." Kai said lifting his head with a smile, which made her drop her head and glare cutely.
"I want to do this with you when you're sure this is what you want. Not when you're riding on all these emotions. Emotions can cloud our thinking." Kai said.
"I do want this Kai." She said with an assuring smile. "But I can tell you're hesitant, so to soothe you, we can wait."
Kai was hesitant, because he was scared how all this would turn out if she eventually found out he was one of the cadre of eight. Would she look at him as Kai or as a murderer who lured her to bed?
Kai smiled at her then sat up before he changed his mind. He got up from the bed as she sat up on it.
"So." Kai said "I should get get going."
There was a knock on the room door before Katherine could speak.
"Lady princess." Julia's voice called. "I had hoped you'd be ready to eat now."
"You haven't eaten?" Kai said, giving her a look. Katherine just shrugged.
"Come In Julia." she said.
Julia opened the door and came in with a tray of food. She looked between Kai and Katherine. Then at the bed that was now roughed up by their act of reconciliation. She dropped the food on the bed and smiled faintly.
"I thought to bring food for you too Guardian. Estella told me your food was untouched when she went to gather the dishes." Julia said.
It was Katherine's turn to give Kai a look. Kai shrugged.
"I'll leave you two alone." Julia said then left the room.
"Come sit Guardian." Katherine said, then slid down to the edge of the bed, sitting beside the tray of food. Kai sat on the other side of the tray. Then they began eating.
They talked occasionally while eating. About books she had read and weapons he could use. About the elf still being interrogated in the dungeon. And about her uncle. Her mood always dipped when her uncle was brought up.
It was so easy to talk to her. He didn't feign interest when she talked about her books. He genuinely loved how she prattled about the works of several authors. And she told him she wanted to learn to wield a sword someday. He would gladly train her.
A while later, Julia had packed the plates and brought strawberries. Kai was feasting on them.
"You sure like strawberries." Katherine said.
"Yeah I do." he said with another mouthful of strawberries. She giggled at him.
After a while, he got up.
"I should take my leave." Kai said
"It's pretty late." Katherine said, pushing some of her hair behind her ear. Kai raised his eyebrow in question.
"I think kidnapping me would prove difficult." Kai said.
"Proud ass." Katherine said. "Just stay Kai."
"What about people spreading rumors?" Kai asked.
"I'm fine with that." she said with a smile.
So Kai slept in her room. She lay her head on his chest and he brushed her hair till she fell asleep.
Kai could have sworn that in his nightmares that night, Mara's face which usually had a look of anguish was smiling at him.