" If two people are meant to be together , eventually they'll find their way back"
Nestled in his warmth, Juhi lowered her face to his chest and pressed her ear to his heart..
Shashank gathered her softly in his arms and enfolded her in his warmth .. he then nestled his chin in her hair..
" I love you .." she whispered placing a tender lingering kiss over his heart...
Pulling her on top of him, Shashank whispered "I missed you so badly"... He cupped her chin in his hand tilting her head back so that he could kiss her... Her mouth was so warm, the caress of her lips softer than he could have imagined.. The kiss was gentle yet insistent, loving but possessive...
Juhi closed her eyes to enjoy the sensation better as his tongue slightly swept across and between her slightly parted lips... There was an edge of urgency about his kiss, a hunger that might suddenly rage out of control , yet strangely tender and sensuous.. The hardness of his body pressed into hers as the kiss went even deeper ... She grazed her tongue along his bottom lips ..which made him moan with pleasure.. he held her harder seizing rightfully what was his..
The slow sensual kiss turned wilder with time ..
Rolling her down on her back, Shashank moved on top of her.. She gasped with the sudden change of position..
Juhi moaned out loud as he found a very sensitive part of her neck, just behind the ear.. Running the tip of his nose ever so gently along her cheek until it reached the tip of her nose he mouthed against her lips, " l love you so much ..." Placing tender kisses alongside her neck he proceeded downwards sucking on her flesh marking her has his woman. He raised her hands slightly above her head, and slowly entered the core of her. As his lips moved to her mouth their tongues locked in the dance of love and their bodies rocked to a complete union, filling her with his love ...
It was all he had to give.. but he gave it to her freely..
Willingly
Lovingly
It would have to be enough...
For now.
Shashank was suddenly roused awake .. he gasped for breath and twisted his body ..
Where was he??
He flopped back on his bed, he was all alone and in his bed; aroused like hell.. he turned his head to see the time.. it was four in the morning..
That was a dream.. he mused
Running his fingers through his hair he gulped the glass of water that was lying on the bedside table .....
A chill ran down Shashank's spine as he sat on his bed recalling the dream he had last night ... His mind was in utter chaos ..first the previous night encounter in the bedroom kept flashing before him.. the feeling she ignited in him... then waking up to this dream and now the note she had left behind...
Shashank felt helpless and upset .. there was an empty feeling in his chest... he missed Juhi... and he was clueless why he felt the same...he needed answers and only she could answer his questions and ease his unknown agony, unknown emptiness, unknown grief ... everything .. he thought
"There is something you and I share , Juhi.. something very deep ..." he sighed
On the other side, tears rolled down Juhi's cheeks as she clutched her stomach as if protecting the little soul inside ..
" No.. this can't happen.. this cannot happen...I can't loose my baby.... I can't loose our baby...." she screamed and broke down crying ...
The pain caused by cramping of the stomach was nothing compared to the mental trauma she was going through at that moment...
There was a knock on the washroom door... Rohan was impatiently standing outside worried for Juhi...
It took her few minutes to realise she could not stay locked inside while there were a whole lot of things to be taken care of on the other side of the door...
She was still hopeful of not loosing her baby... only a scan can reveal ... she thought
But first she needs to complete the formalities and arrange for her father's funeral...
Her already broken heart shattered into million pieces once again when she realised she could never put forth her version of story to her father... there was so much to tell him... so much to ask him... and he left her without even saying a goodbye ...
" How could you leave me like this dad...." she cried
After repeated knocks, Juhi opened the door and walked out... Rohan was shocked to see her completely devastated.. Words failed to come out of his mouth seeing her...
Putting his arm around her shoulder both of them walked towards the ICU where her father lay..
Juhi was inconsolable seeing her lifeless dad.. While her uncle and Rohan shouldered the responsibility of completing the hospital formalities as well as the final rituals of her dad, Juhi sat like a lifeless rag doll... She sat in absolute silence distancing herself from everyone else blaming herself for his death...
They say "A mother's love knows no boundaries.. it is timeless.. it is endless .. it is unconditional.."
That's exactly what Juhi's mother Rekha did.. When she saw her only child broken into pieces, all her mother did was hug her tight and console her... She let go off everything cause nothing was more important to her than her daughter that moment ... Despite being overwhelmed by her mother's affection, Juhi had already started sinking .... into depression .. for not one loss but two losses.. while she still hoped it was only one ..
That night as Juhi sat in her room in absolute darkness reminiscing the good old days and time spent with her dad, her thoughts gradually shifted towards Shashank...
Beads of sweat formed on her forehead.. How would she share the news of loosing their baby to him whenever light is thrown on their relationship... how would he react.. will she really be able to face him.... will he understand her... or will he end up hating her...
She still hoped against hope that it was a false alarm and her baby was still alive ...
Her head felt like it would explode.. the loneliness was killing her.. waking up from her bed she walked to her mother's room and settled beside her mother hugging her tight and silently crying herself to sleep...
Shashank on the other hand was restless throughout the day ... He was worried Juhi hadn't called the entire day.. Even when Anjali tried calling Juhi towards the evening after getting back from the hospital, there was no response from the other end, which made them anxious... Both were still unaware of her father's death..
Anjali noticed her dad's restlessness... but didn't want to probe and make things even more difficult for him..
As he lay in his bed after dinner, he picked up his phone for the sixth time since morning wanting to dial Juhi's number but sighed and put his phone aside ... there was a very deep sense of longing for her now.. and he still didn't know why..
A few minutes later he picked up his phone and started scrolling through the picture gallery hoping to recollect memories..
While scrolling through the pictures his finger paused at one picture.. it was a picture of him and Juhi .. all the blood rushed to his face.. the backdrop in the picture looked like a hill station.. Juhi wrapped her arm around his waist , her head resting on his shoulder and he has his arm around her shoulder.. with vibrant smiles on their faces..
The comfort shared in the picture gave him another image already... They looked very much in love...His fingers zoomed the picture to have a closer look ... he shut his eyes tight and let out a deep sigh... nothing made sense to him..
Flipping onto the next picture , he noticed a weird picture.. after a few seconds it dawned on him it was a picture of someone's neck.. which had some kind of a bruise ... After zooming in and out the picture he realised the picture was his... and the bruise looked like a love bite.. but who would give him a love bite he wondered... when ? Why ? where ? How ?
He felt agitated that he couldn't recall anything... Placing his phone down on the bed he sat in absolute silence...
" You have the answer to all my question , Juhi... I can't wait for you to come back...." he sighed .
Sinking into deep disturbed thoughts he fell asleep gradually...
Juhi woke up the next morning already feeling tired and drained .. Despite a few rituals planned at her home she had to sneak out to complete an important task...
After having some light breakfast she made an excuse with her mother and stepped out...
Seated in the back seat of the cab , she headed to the hospital to undergo a scan... she still hoped it was a false alarm.. folding her hands as if praying, she shut her eyes tight hoping and praying it was all a bad dream..
Just then her phone rang... Anjali's name flashed on the screen
"Hello..." Juhi answered
" Hello Dr Juhi ... How are you ... I have been trying to reach you since yesterday.. how is your dad.." Anjali spoke in one breath
" He is no more Anjali... he passed away yesterday morning ..." Juhi sighed
Anjali was stunned hearing the news...
" I'm so so sorry Dr Juhi ...Our deepest condolences to you during this time.... This is so shocking... she stammered
There was deafening silence that followed...
"Dr Juhi, know that you are not alone and we are here for you... if you ever need to talk, please don't hesitate to reach out.." Anjali said
Juhi was overwhelmed... " That's very kind of you to say so , Anjali.. Means a lot.. Thank you..." she said
Pausing a moment she continued " How is Dr Shashank... I hope he is doing well..."
" Yes ... I think he is doing fine ..." Anjali answered looking deep into Shashank's eyes who was sitting beside her sipping on his coffee.... Do you want to speak to him ..." Anjali asked
While Shashank's heartbeat increased hearing the same, Juhi's palms began to sweat...
Stammering she replied " No Anjali .. I will talk to him sometime later.. I'm on my way to finish some work..."
Anjali understood her hesitation..
" Please take care of yourself Dr Juhi ... I'm sure this is very hard for you .. Stay strong .. and please keep in touch ..."
" Thanks Anjali ...I have reached my destination.. I ll talk to you soon..Bye.." Juhi hung up the call
There was a different kind of awkwardness between her and Shashank... and the very thought brought a pang of grief deep down her heart..
Thanking the cab driver , she alighted from the cab.. Every step she took to walk towards the hospital felt heavy.. Earlier that morning she had a telephonic conversation with her gynaecologist friend Dr Mandira... who sounded sceptical when Juhi briefed her about the happenings of the previous day.. she insisted on scheduling a check up as soon as possible ...
Walking inside Mandira's cabin , Juhi was greeted with a warm smile and a hug from Mandira...
After exchanging pleasantries and condoling her father's untimely death, Mandira quickly shifted her focus to Juhi...
Juhi detailed her about the same.. Mandira already knew it wasn't going to be a good picture.. She guided her to the examination room ... and examined her...
Noticing Mandira's expression Juhi's fears were slowly coming true..
" The only way we can confirm is by an ultrasound..." Mandira said
" Go ahead ..." Juhi said and shut her eyes tight ...
Applying the gel on her abdomen , Mandira brought the transducer and began moving it slowly ... while her eyes were fixed on the screen , Juhi's eyes remained shut...
After few minutes , Mandira placed back the transducer and wiped the gel off Juhi's abdomen...
Juhi's eyes flipped open to see Mandira's sullen face...
" I'm sorry Juhi... It was a miscarriage..." Mandira spilled the beans...
Juhi shut her eyes tight once again and tears began to roll down continuously from the side of her eyes... she felt her heart crush into million pieces...
Riding high on emotions seeing her friend in such a state, Mandira excused herself and walked out.. While Juhi continued to lay down motionless ...
After what felt like ages, she sat up and slowly got down from the examination bed.. All her pain was gone... All she felt was numb...
Mandira prescribed her a few medicines..
Thanking Mandira briefly she picked up her bag, put on her shades to mask her puffy eyes and walked out of her cabin ...
Calling for an auto rickshaw right outside the hospital , she sat like a lifeless woman throughout the ride back home... Rekha who was anxiously waiting for her noticed the ghostly look on her daughter's face...
She wanted Juhi to open up herself to her and share .. she needed answers.. clarifications ...
That was the only way to heal certain wounds ... Rekha thought..
An hour later Rekha walked into Juhi's room.. With the curtains drawn , the room was dark.. she noticed Juhi lying on the bed and heard the sniffling sounds ... Knowing she must be crying , Rekha walked towards the window and opened the curtains... she then walked and sat beside Juhi... Sensing her mother's presence Juhi tried to pretend sleeping ...
Rekha gently placed her hand over Juhi's head ... Despite Rahul's accusations she knew her daughter wouldn't go the wrong way... She just needed to hear Juhi's side of story ... That afternoon finally after a lot of coaxing, Juhi opened up to her mother... From going back to Sanjivani for Shashank's treatment to his confession , her realisation, Rahul's humiliation, consummation of their relationship Shashank's memory loss to Rahul knowing about her pregnancy and finally the miscarriage... she poured her heart out to her mother... Rekha was overwhelmed with mixed emotions... Both the mother and daughter wept .. The mother in her was really hurt when she learnt about the miscarriage...
Rekha realised her daughter was not wrong in taking a stand for her own happiness.. Her only regret was that her husband left them without knowing what the truth was.. and it really pained her..
Consoling Juhi, she promised to stand by her and support her in every decision ..
As days progressed, Juhi disconnected herself from the world... She remained locked in her room.. Her phone remained switched off..
She had turned into a bit of a nervous wreck – devastated by the loss of her father and gutted by the loss of a baby she never met, never held, but had made space for in her life...
Shashank was left vulnerable.. That fateful day right after hearing about the demise of her father , he mustered courage and tried calling her that evening .. but her phone remained switched off
He called her every single day from that day onwards and several times in a day only to hear the message which said the number your calling is switched off right now ....
Even Anjali's several attempts to communicate with Juhi went futile..
One morning he woke up feeling miserable once again... Unable to contain his emotions anymore, he confronted Anjali about his relationship with Juhi...
" Anjali , I want to know from you about the kind of relationship Juhi and I shared before my memory loss...
I feel extremely restless without her around.. I am worried for her... I care deeply for her.. Her absence has left a huge void in my life... I just can't explain..."
Pouring his heart out further he continued "Life is built on memories and I don't remember anything... it makes me feel extremely lonely and disconnected from the world and from everyone.. it makes me feel terrified ..." his voice choked as he ran his fingers through his hair..
Anjali was flabbergasted with his sudden outburst. She knew he was hurting real bad..
There was absolute silence that followed...
Anjali's mind was in utter chaos .. should she reveal or should she not ??
Letting out a deep breath , a few minutes later she finally spoke " Yes dad, Dr Juhi and you shared a very special bond.. A relationship which did not have a name but was rock solid...."
Swallowing hard she finally said what he wanted to hear..." You two loved each other very deeply... and I guess you'll still do ..."
Shashank covered his face with both his palms... everything made sense to him... her reactions, her behaviour, her concern, her care, and his dream... everything made sense ..
There was absolute silence once again..
" But wasn't she married and ...." he swallowed the second part of his sentence
" Hers was a case of broken marriage..." she sighed
Shashank only nodded his head.. it was too much for him to take all at once..
Excusing himself he told Anjali he needed sometime alone and that he would be fine.. he sat himself on the swing in his balcony recalling every single interaction with her... he was overwhelmed.. he wanted hug her, hold her tight, and tell her everything will be alright .. tears brimmed his eyes...
"Juhi ....." he whispered her name in the air
In a flash of few seconds he felt a lightening struck him... If Juhi's was a broken marriage, how did she get pregnant..."
He covered his mouth with his hand as the realisation slowly dawned on him .....