Terry
I woke up with a terrible headache. Uupo sana ako when I felt the arms wrapped around my waist. There's Samantha. She looked so at peace as she sleeps beside me.
Naramdaman siguro nito yung paggalaw ko kaya nagising na din ito. She looks so cute. First time ko yata sya makuha na bagong gising. Lagi kasing sya yung nauunang bumangon sa aming dalawa.
Babangon na sana ako nang hatakin ako ulit nito pahiga. She put her head on my left shoulder as she move closer to me. Is this what cuddling feels?
"Can we sleep for five minutes more?"
Bago pa ako makasagot ay nakapikit na ulit itong babaeng ito. Sa sobrang lapit namin amoy na amoy ko yung scent nya na marshmallows. Seriously, body scent nya yata talaga iyon at hindi perfume.
Collect yourself, Terry. You've seen it yourself. Don't get yourself be fooled by her actions. It's her normal.
"Giraffe, bangon na tayo. Nagugutom na ako e." labag man sa loob ko ay pilit kong binabaklas yung kamay nya. Mahirap na. Baka madala pa ako.
"Few more minutes. This position is too comfty. This feels good."
Yeah! Almost if it's real.
"Ginagawa mo lang akong unan e." Inis na sabi ko saka marahang tinapik yung pisngi nya. "Bangon na. Gusto mong hatakin pa kita sa banyo at buhusan ng tubig?"
Hindi natitinag na nakapikit pa din si Samantha.
"Were you just suggesting that we take baths together?"
"Kapal ng mukha mo talaga minsan, Samantha."
Tumawa naman ito ng mahina. Bago nagmulat ng mata. Her eyes are too warm. Like a chocolate melting under the warmth of the sun. Why is she pretty? Kelan kaya sya papangit? Nakakainis na.
"You're becoming appealing in my eyes. That's weird." Komento pa nito habang nakatitig sa mukha ko.
Medyo naconcious naman ako ng bahagya. Mamaya may panis na laway pa ako o di kaya sobrang gulo ng buhok ko. Tapos bigla na lang akong lalaitin nito. Madalas twisted pa naman yung utak nitong si Samantha.
"Bumangon ka na nga, para kang tanga dyan." Itinulak ko sya palayo. Pero masyado syang mabigat dahil halos nakadagan na sakin yung kalahati ng katawan nya dahil nakayakap nga sya sa akin.
"Should we get married for real so I'll be able to have good night sleep every time? What do you think?"
Natigilan naman ako. Is it her another way of playing this role perfectly? Yung magpapa fall para pag nameet ako ng friends at family nya mukha talaga kaming in love na in love sa isa't isa?
O baka naman pinagtritripan nya na naman ako tapos pag bigla akong sumagot ng Oo, tatawa sya ng malakas. Tapos sasabihin, Got yah. You're so gullible, Terry. That's really funny.
"Hercules ka na ba, Sam? Nananaginip ka pa yata. Gising na, Oy!" Tumawa pa ako saka pilit na binabaklas yung kamay nya. Pero masyado talagang matigas itong isang ito.
"Do you really like Hercules? Ayaw mo ng Athena?"
"Nasan si Athena?" lumingon lingon pa ako sa loob ng kwarto nya. Tumigil yung tingin ko tuloy doon sa painting sa mismong right side ng bed nya.
There's Sam. She looks so happy as she was smiling widely with that Latina girl habang nakaakbay ito sa kanya. They look perfect. Leigh is right. They're complimenting each other. They both came from wealthy families. Have known each other since kids. And Grant knows Sam more than anyone else.
"That's Athena. Pretty no?" pabirong sabi nya pa pero halatang inaantok pa. Her bedroom voice is so damn sweet.
"The girl beside you?"
"That's Grant. Yung katabi nya yung Athena."
Napailing naman ako.
"You don't want to?" nagtatakang tanong nito. Sabi na nga ba e. In.expect nito na oara akong uto-uto na Oo agad sa kanya.
Umiling ulit ako saka bumangon paupo. Wala na din itong nagawa kundi ang mapaupo na din. Is she just wearing nighties?
"I don't like Athena. I might reconsider kung si Aprodite pa yan o Si Venus."
Sumimangot naman si Samantha.
"They're both Greek and Roman goddess of sex and prostitution. It doesn't suit me. Why your taste is like that? Athena is way better." Angal pa nito na para bang gusto na akong batuhin ng naglalakihang libro na nasa shelves sa bedside table nito.
"Marunong ka pa sa taste ko. Baliw 'to."
"Sure ka? I'm perfect. Hindi ka na makakahanap ng kasing competitive ko."
"You're not perfect no! Sama kaya ng ugali mo. Laitera ka. Nambabato ka ng tsinelas. Ayaw mo magpatalo sa asaran. Masyadong mahaba yang leeg mo. Mukha ka pang higante. Ayoko magmukhang dwende pag tumabi ako sayo no."
"Bibilhan kita ng vitamins."
"Tingnan mo yang ugali mo o. Ang sama." Inirapan ko pa sya para convincing.
Imbes na tumawa ay tila naiinis na din ito.
"Mabait ako. Pinagtatanggol kita pag may umaaway sayo. Pinagluluto pa kita ng breakfast. Tinulungan kita mamalengke. Sak—"
"But you're not Hercules. Baliw ka talaga. Bagong script ba natin yan?"
Kumunot ang noo nito na napahalukipkip pa habang blangko ang tingin sa akin.
"Anong script?"
Itinuro ko sya saka yung sarili ko. "The role playing? Kelan ba kasi tayo kakausapin ng parents mo? May balita na ba kung nareconsider na yung case mo?"
Natahimik ito na para bang nag iisip ng malalim. Pagkatapos ay ngumiti.
"Wala pa e. But I'll call my parents siguro mamaya. Saka pwede ka na nga pala daw magstart anytime sa company nila Van."
"Totoo? Wala pa naman akong kontrata sa kanila a."
"Van personally recommended you to the HR Team. For sure they'll give you a competitive compensation and benefits."
"Sige, siguro puntahan ko na agad bukas tutal Monday naman na bukas."
"Okay."
Tumayo na ako. Sobrang sakit talaga ng ulo ko kaya napahawak pa ko sa gilid ng mesa.
Tumayo din naman agad si Samantha at hinawakan ako sa balikat.
"That's hang over. Try to lay on bed for few more minutes. I'll make you a soup. Para makainom ka ng aspirin."
Bago pa ako makasagot ay nakalabas na ito ng kwarto nang hindi man lang nagpapalit ng damit.
What's gotten into Sam? She's really acting weird today. Siguro naguguilty dahil ang usapan namin hindi ako iinom but here I am having a Hang over. Is she really like that? Taking responsibility for everything?
Because I hate that side of her.
***
Samantha
Terry don't like you. You're too good to be true for her. She don't even know if you're real or not. I don't think whether you figure out yourself, things will work with her.
Napatingin ako sa kamay ko habang nagluluto ng soup.
"Am I really not real?"
No, Sam. You've shown your real self to Terry. Kaya nga ayaw nya sayo di ba? Kasi she knows you. She had seen your worst. She had seen you crying like a baby at your weakness. She had seen you annoyed when you tried power-tripping dun sa nakaaway mo sa mall.
She had seen your worst self. Yung ayaw magpatalo. Yung nambabato ng tsinelas pag naiinis. The one who is not perfect. She even caught you gulped with your emotions. And when you thought she understands you, it only turns out that this is just a role play for her.
I think Leigh is right. Terry doesn't really like me. She's as fascinated as I. But she can control it. Hindi gaya ko na at every opportunity na makikita ko yung sarili ko that I'm comfortable with someone's companionship, iisipin ko na baka ayun na talaga yung para sa akin.
I'm a fool for even asking her if she wants to get married to me for real. Who would even believe a thing such that? Baka nga ngayon ay tinatawanan nya pa ako. She treats me like a joke. All this time, it's just a joke. Something that a perfect one like one deserves, perfect painted illusion too.
Control, Sammie. She's Terry. You can't let yourself be broken twice. She's Corinne' s cousin. For sure, iisa lang ang tingin ng magpinsan sayo. You're really weird and crazy.
Napailing na lang ako at bahagyang natawa.
Siguro dahil alam ko at the back of my mind that I can't really get behind the fact that asexuals meant to be different. Who would even want to date or marry one and suffer the insecurity of being not desirable enough? Yung kahit romantically inclined ka pa, the idea of having sex is repulsive.
But I think I can force myself even If I'm not inclined. Just like Hariette told me, I should try and explore my sexuality. Not because I'm not into it, I'll just won't do it. Siguro I just have to be exclusive. I can only try it with someone who is brave enough to risk her future with me.
And that is not Terry.
"Matagal pa ba yan, Samantha? Sakit na talaga ng ulo ko."
Pumasok na si Terry sa kitchen at umupo sa stool sa harap ng countertop.
Ako naman ay nagmamadaling kinuha yung coffee maker at tiningnan kung pwede na yung binbrew kong coffee.
"Few more minutes. I specifically told you to lie on the bed muna. Ang tigas talaga ng ulo mo."
"I'm not your maid. Don't tell me what to do." Masungit na angal nito.
What happened to Terry? Meron ba sya ngayon at ganyan sya kasungit?
Naiiling na kumuha ako ng dalawang cups saka nagsalin doon ng brewed coffee. I opened the fridge and put out a carton of fresh milk. Nilagyan ko yung coffee nya. I don't have creamer in this unit.
"Here, drink this." inabot ko sa kanya yung cup ng coffee.
Mabilis naman itong uminom doon. Pero dahil mainit nga ay napaso naman ang dila nito.
"Ang tigas talaga ng ulo mo." Hindi ko mapigilan ang mainis habang para itong bata na pinapaypayan yung napasong dila.
I check my fridge for some ice. Luckily, meron namang natira doon.
Kumuha ako ng isa at nilagay sa spoon saka ko inabot sa kanya.
"It's your fault. Ang init kaya ng kape." Reklamo nito.
"You knew it is hot. Nakita mo na nga na kasasalin ko lang di ba?"
"Dapat hindi mo muna kasi inabot sakin. Malay ko ba na hindi pa pwede iyon inumin. Binigay mo na e."
Nakakainis na sya ha. Kasalanan ko ba na hindi sya nag-iisip. Kelangan ba laging ipopoint out yung obvious?
"Am I to blame if you're slow-witted?"
Tila naman lalo itong nainis na nagdadabog na tumayo. Ibinato nito yung kutsara sa lababo.
Napabuntong-hininga naman ako. Siguro masakit talaga yung ulo nya.
I opened a cabinet na lagayan ko ng mga gamot. Naglapag ako ng dalawang aspirin sa counter top. Kumuha din ako ng baso at sinalinan ng tubig na galing sa dispenser. Syempre yung hindi malamig.
"Drink this para mawala na yang sakit ng ulo mo. And please just tone your voice down. Hindi ako sanay na sumisigaw ka dyan at nagwawala."
Iritable pa din na ininom nito yung gamot. Ako naman ay tinapos na yung pagluluto ng soup. Nagtoast din ako ng bread. Saka gumawa ng spread para sa tuna sandwich.
Matapos kong gawin lahat iyon ay nilapag ko din sa harapan nya.
" There, I don't know if it's still warm but I think pwede na iyan kainin. Hipan mo na lang."
Naglakad na ako palabas ng kitchen nang magsalita si Terry.
"What about you? Hindi ka ba kakain?" Medyo mababa na yung boses nito.
"I'll take shower first. That's the first thing I do every morning." Sabi ko dito. "Please make yourself comfortable. Pag tapos ka na, ilagay mo na lang sa dishwasher. I'll do it after ko makaligo."
Hinintay ko kung may sasabihin pa sya pero tumango lang ito.
Damn! Problema nitong isang 'to? Hindi man lang talaga sya magsosorry? She's throwing her temper at me gayung sya na nga itong pinagluto ko.
Did she even know that I'm not the type who serves people? Tapos feel na feel nya pa magtaray. Iba din. Tinaggihan nya na nga ako sya pa yung galit.
Hindi ba dapat ako yung nagagalit?
Hays, but why can't I just get mad at Terry?
****